Chemistry?

[C@ssandr@]

A very good friend of mine has been dating his GF for 7 months now. He said that he "really REALLY" likes her, but there is no chemistry. He said that he's hoping they can develop it over time.

What?

I asked him what is chemistry, and he replied "its when you look at someone and you go oomph!"

What?

Come to think of it ladies...what exactly is Chemistry? How do we know when we have it? And more importantly, can you have a successful relationship without it?

 

[carcajada]

Chemistry is just another aspect of attraction to another person. You should have asked him to clarify since there are several types of chemistry. You can sit next to your boyfriend and both of yall know what each other are thinking so you only have half of a verbal conversation. That's a type of chemistry. Then there is sexual chemistry that includes sexual attraction. Maybe that's what he is talking about?

I don't know any couples that survive without some form of chemistry somewhere.

 

[Windsy]

Chemistry is a natural connection between two people. Its either there or it isn't; there are two types - physical and emotional.

There has to be "chemistry" for a relationship to develop, however; having both physical and emotional chemistry, in my opinion, is the key to having a rewarding relationship.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Chemistry to me is having an interaction with someone that feels natural, comfortable, and exciting at the same time. You dont necessary have to have alot in common with this person. But you share similar or complementing temperments which naturally you just really like being around them. Thats the emotional/mental chemistry.

Chemistry, physically, is the full of passionate throw down. Its not arkward and you will comfortable doing whatever.

In all of this, the feelings have to be mutual however.

 

[HauteHippie]

Chemistry to me is having an interaction with someone that feels natural, comfortable, and exciting at the same time. You dont necessary have to have alot in common with this person. But you share similar or complementing temperments which naturally you just really like being around them. Thats the emotional/mental chemistry.

Chemistry, physically, is the full of passionate throw down. Its not arkward and you will comfortable doing whatever.

In all of this, the feelings have to be mutual however.

I agree and I like the way you put everything.

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[Mane.Attraction]

Chemistry is a special connection that two people share that transcends anything physical. It just shows how compatible you two are, and honestly, I don't think a relationship can last without it.

Sure, you can force yourself to stay with someone because they're a good person, but that would be kind of miserable for you after all. I know plenty of good guys, but I wouldn't try to date them simply because they're "Stand Up" Guys. Something extra has to be there. We have to click and form a special bond before it goes any further.

 

[blkbeauty]

I think there should be a degree of physical, emotional, and mental chemistry. But just having physical chemisty got me in trouble, hurt and angry.

Also, I believe there should be some compatibility too. I do not agree that a long last relationship can survive based on chemistry with NO compatibility.

OP, your friend like this woman, but says no chemistry. What does he "really" likes about her then?

 

[Glib Gurl]

I posted a thread on this a while back . . .

According to a book I read, the five elements of chemistry are: comfort, safety, fun, passion, and mutual respect. You need all 5 to have chemistry.

 

[mischka]

I dated a guy who I had fantastic chemistry with, and I think it was because we were very similar in terms of personality. We were both very honest, straightforward type people, and that made our communications feel more "connected," know how I mean? We also had similar orientations when it came to sex, so it flowed extremely easily; we interacted well and bounced off each other like ping pong because we wanted the same things and were able to do that without needing to verbalize it. So for me chemistry is kind of like "I know what you want/you got what I want," without having to take the long path of needing to teach each other. It's automatically un-awkward cuz you mesh.

Compare that to guys I've dated where we've had no chemistry, we didn't excite each other in the same way. There was no spontaneity... that person doesn't bring things to the table that hit the spot, you know? Idk, it's hard to explain, but dating someone you have no chemistry with is boring.

eta: i didnt read anyone's responses before i replied so its cool that i still managed to hit on the same points bc i didnt feel like i was articulating that well

 

[C@ssandr@]

I think there should be a degree of physical, emotional, and mental chemistry. But just having physical chemisty got me in trouble, hurt and angry.

Also, I believe there should be some compatibility too. I do not agree that a long last relationship can survive based on chemistry with NO compatibility.

OP, your friend like this woman, but says no chemistry. What does he "really" likes about her then?

That's what i'm trying to figure out?! Next time we chat i'll ask him.

The strange part is that we have chemistry. When we first met (7 years ago) we clicked instantly...I would have to say our chemistry is physical though...I can't see us together (umm, we cuddled in bed and I found myself in his lap once). We both acknowledge that it exists but never went into detail about it.

I think he's in his honeymoon period because I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks, lol.

 

[RegaLady]

I posted a thread on this a while back . . .

According to a book I read, the five elements of chemistry are: comfort, safety, fun, passion, and mutual respect. You need all 5 to have chemistry.

Very interesting. I wonder if the biggest word in this list is passion. Like to me, everything else on this list can make for a great friendship. But the passion is what makes that oomph.

 

[RegaLady]

I think there should be a degree of physical, emotional, and mental chemistry. But just having physical chemisty got me in trouble, hurt and angry.

Also, I believe there should be some compatibility too. I do not agree that a long last relationship can survive based on chemistry with NO compatibility.

OP, your friend like this woman, but says no chemistry. What does he "really" likes about her then?

ITA! Physical chemistry is great, but alone it won't do it.

 

[Ladybelle]

I posted a thread on this a while back . . .

According to a book I read, the five elements of chemistry are: comfort, safety, fun, passion, and mutual respect. You need all 5 to have chemistry.

I'm 30, and I've only had the five elemenets of chemistry with one guy.I still shudder thinking about that connection. I think to have that type of chemistry with someone is rare. I also think that relationships can develop & thrive without all five elements being in place at any given time.

 

[HauteHippie]

I posted a thread on this a while back . . .

According to a book I read, the five elements of chemistry are: comfort, safety, fun, passion, and mutual respect. You need all 5 to have chemistry.

Hmmm.. I think I've only experienced all 5 once (now) at 25. I'm keeping hope alive! I always require safety, fun, and passion. I'm usually comfortable with anyone. Mutual respect is the difficult one. Sometimes it takes a while to find out someone doesn't respect you (think "Oh? Oh. You meant that? I thought you were just saying that to be cute.").

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