CHEATING OR NOT?

VioletWylde said:
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm going to say that if you FEEL like you've been cheated on, you have been (if you don't, then you weren't). No matter what we say here, your feelings will dictate how you proceed.

If the resulting feelings that you have cause you to question your relationship and distrust this man, then you will act on those feelings accordingly. A variation in definition will not undo any damage his actions have done to your heart. It may be soothing for a short while, but it's likely that your feelings will prevail (whatever they may be).
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My heart hurts as if he slept with her...
 
First I just want to say Im sorry you are going through this and this is not a form of cheating IT IS CHEATING IMO. You stated that you confronted him and he apologized. He seems to be sorry he got caught. According to this chick its been going on before Christmas. I can't say leave him but I would not move nowhere with him. If it were me I would leave. Just remember when someone show's you their true colours don't repaint them.
 
Honi said:
Oh hell nawl! :mad: I'm mad for you. There would be no moving in for starters and he is apologizing because he got caught.

Have you asked him if he was happy in the relationship? I know he will say yes but something else is going on in his head to seek excitement elsewhere. This is a serious trust issue. I don't think I can put it behind me truthfully.

Put his arse on time-out for a few weeks until you can figure out what YOU want to do.
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I agree 100 percent. Yes, it's cheating and the easy ability to hook up on the internet has ended many a marriages and relationships. My advice is to the do the same thing I'm doing with my sorry cheating I can't wait to be rid of his lowclass arse "husband" (happily divorce court) to him hitting the bricks. Please don't move anywhere with him. He can't be trusted and he will just get better at hiding his tracks. You deserve better than to be cheated on. Ever.

:bighug:I'm so very sorry you are having to deal with this. Cheating truly is one of the worst things you can do to someone you profess to "love." :nono: :nono: For you, Sweetie. :runninghug: For him: :censored:
 
Please do not let this man convince you that this wasn't cheating and that it "meant nothing". If you let this go I do not doubt that he will be back online doing the same thing, thinking that you cool with it. If you do forgive him, I would make sure he ends his membership to that game but I honestly don't think that would be the end of it- he will find some other way to do his dirt. He was already making plans to make it a reality.
 
ctosha said:
First I just want to say Im sorry you are going through this and this is not a form of cheating IT IS CHEATING IMO. You stated that you confronted him and he apologized. He seems to be sorry he got caught. According to this chick its been going on before Christmas. I can't say leave him but I would not move nowhere with him. If it were me I would leave. Just remember when someone show's you their true colours don't repaint them.
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Um...umm...humm...That the realest ish i've heard all day!
 
I am so sorry to read this. If he's cheating online then best believe he's going to cheat in real life. Consider yourself blessed that you haven't already 1) uprooted your life in your current state 2) Married this dude.

My ex-husband had an affair, I stayed with him for a while after and that thang ate at me every day. I don't believe that image or thought will ever leave your mind while in that relationship. Why make yourself sick everytime you think something might be up with him? Regardless of how happy you may feel one day, the next time he's 30 mins late you'll be thinking "Oh is he with some ****".

I pray that you do what YOU feel is best for YOU but I believe you'd be making a mistake marrying him. I believe in forgiving but its surely hard to forget.

Blessings,

~~NIKKI~~

Oh and let me add JMHO :D
 
I remember an episode of True Life (MTV) where a couple met through Second Life. Many people who are into that game almost seem like they feel it's their real life. Which he seems to believe since he took it offline (to the phone) and planned to meet up.
 
Something else to consider: This is the first time he got caught. You have no way of knowing if this has happened before, online or otherwise.
 
If he's showing her his manhood he's looking to cheat. I'm sorry girl but maybe its time to move on. Unless you're ok with cheating (some women are). I'm sorry you're going through this.
 
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Cheekychica said:
Please do not let this man convince you that this wasn't cheating and that it "meant nothing". If you let this go I do not doubt that he will be back online doing the same thing, thinking that you cool with it. If you do forgive him, I would make sure he ends his membership to that game but I honestly don't think that would be the end of it- he will find some other way to do his dirt. He was already making plans to make it a reality.
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THIS!

OP I am so sorry you are going through this. Is this the first time you have caught him being unfaithful in any aspect?
 
Yes. If he was planning on meeting her Hell YEA! Nip that in the bud before it gets worse!
I caught my ex going to have sex with random people ( when i was really sick)! His dumb A** gave his mom an old computer with all the pictures on it! I was trying to help her make a myspace and searched for some pictures she saved!. His mom was shocked but of course stood on her sons side ( talking about that is not him) It all started on those bootycall websites with the pic exchange and all that. ( he was an IT guy on the computer all the time)
 
HarlemHottie said:
I found out my SO has been hanging out on a site called Second life preforming sex acts via an avatar, and sending a young lady photos of his man hood.... Help me keep from losing my mind please!!

How do I hand this?
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You handle this by giving him more hand jobs. Obviously you're not playing your part right.
 
motherpopcorn562 said:
Yes. If he was planning on meeting her Hell YEA! Nip that in the bud before it gets worse!
I caught my ex going to have sex with random people ( when i was really sick)! His dumb A** gave his mom an old computer with all the pictures on it! I was trying to help her make a myspace and searched for some pictures she saved!. His mom was shocked but of course stood on her sons side ( talking about that is not him) It all started on those bootycall websites with the pic exchange and all that. ( he was an IT guy on the computer all the time)
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uh.. please tell me you left him asap
 
i would definitely take a step back from the relationship. sending X-rated pics is a complete No-No and attempting to meet someone with ulterior motives shows where his head is at...
 
Wow.umm.

First let me start by saying that I am sorry about your going through.

Second let me say that this "man" has no respect for you or your relationship. That whole skype conversation should show you that he was trying to play you for a fool. Men can only do what you let them do to you. If you forgive this indiscretion you are more than likely setting yourself up for a world of hurt in the future.

from what you've been saying about him he seems like the type of guy to see how much he can get away with. Do not move in with him!!
 
Aha. I'm on Second Life. I make a lot of money on there running a fake slore house. You wouldn't believe how many men come on there that are married to have "fake sex" with women. Some men I've had to ban because they ask for certain scenarios that are inappropriate like eating feces, or pedophilia. Yah. So In reference to the post, I think it's cheating-- it's emotional cheating. It's one thing if he just kept it online, but asking to meet in real life? Absolutely not.

This actually reminds me of when me and my aunt played World of Warcraft and she got caught up in our guild with the headmaster. She LEFT her HUSBAND and 4 KIDS (took the cat and dog though) in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and moved to Colorado and got remarried to the Headmaster of our then guild. Not telling you what to do, but I would leave him with the QUICKNESS. It's too common unfortunately...
 
TheGrimPhreaker said:
Aha. I'm on Second Life. I make a lot of money on there running a fake slore house. You wouldn't believe how many men come on there that are married to have "fake sex" with women. Some men I've had to ban because they ask for certain scenarios that are inappropriate like eating feces, or pedophilia. Yah. So In reference to the post, I think it's cheating-- it's emotional cheating. It's one thing if he just kept it online, but asking to meet in real life? Absolutely not.

This actually reminds me of when me and my aunt played World of Warcraft and she got caught up in our guild with the headmaster. She LEFT her HUSBAND and 4 KIDS (took the cat and dog though) in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and moved to Colorado and got remarried to the Headmaster of our then guild. Not telling you what to do, but I would leave him with the QUICKNESS. It's too common unfortunately...
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OMG there is so much here!! :lachen:
That is Y&R kind of stuff..... And she took the pets and left the kids.... :nono:
 
If I were you, I'd be questioning how many times he has done this before and how many women he has "met" before without your knowledge.
 
This is a lowlife to do this to you. Get away while you can and nurse your heart break. I'm sorry this happened to you, but good thing you found out how shady he was before you moved in with him.:sad:
 
When someone shows you who they are, believe them!!!

ETA: I just asked hubby if it's cheating to send a photo of your junk to another woman. he said yes, no question, it's cheating. I did not even tell him about the rest of the story.

On another note, was there a Man to Man memo or something telling guys that women like such photos. I'd be pissed to get a photo of a crayon in my text messages!!!

Are there really women who find this sexy?
 
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I'd dump him. Plain and simple.

Yes, he's cheating. It may not be his 1st time and it surely won't be his last. You don't need that crap.
 
Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been a member of Second Life for a few years now. I've seen many relationships start on Second Life and end up in REAL LIFE. If he's willing to carry out an emotional affair he'll eventually move onto the real thing.

You deserve better, OP.
 
*walks in da room n looks around*

umph....OP and her man either made up, or did like da Manhattans...."lets just kiss n say g'bye" cuz i ain't seen nor heard from her in dis thread......
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
*walks in da room n looks around*

umph....OP and her man either made up, or did like da Manhattans...."lets just kiss n say g'bye" cuz i ain't seen nor heard from her in dis thread......
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My observation exactly.

I tend to stay out of the relationship thread, cause LAWD knows I need help myself. But reading stories like this makes me wonder when did we relinquish our power? I'm not talking about the "I am woman hear me roar" mantra... I'm speaking about the power in knowing YOUR SELF/WORTH. I would never say to another "just break up with him" wellllll not anymore :look:...but what I WILL say is know YOUR SELF/ WORTH.

YOU feel violated, don't let ANYONE discount and/or validate that. If violated is what you feel, then that is JUST what it is. With that said, if you want to stayand make it work...then make a decision on purpose to stay. If you want to go..then bounce! But at the end of the day if you don't know you and you don't know what you are worth, you'll go for the oke-doke each and every time!

~S~
 
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