Celibacy/Purity Rant...Kinda long

[pearlygurl]

I am 22 and all my life I have grown up in the church. Since I was little, it was taught that we should save ourselves for marriage. Growing up, I noticed that these types of lessons focused more on the girls than the boys. Now that I'm older, I find this double standard a little disturbing. Why aren't young boys taught and drilled with this same type of message of purity? Some people say that men are just sexual creatures/visually stimulated and it is their nature to test women sexually and it is up to us to set the boundaries.

My problem with this theory is that Christian men are not being controlled by the spirit but are being controlled by their own lusts. Is this not contradictory to what the bible says about the Lord being able to keep us? We always hear about how precious it is for a woman to save herself for her husband...but what about the same message being given to men?

Oh and I absolutely hate the aurgument that men are visual while woman are mental. Yes men are visual but so are women(including me). What about men walking around with no shirt on...that tempts me too. Or Eddie Long wearing his spandex muscle shirts(no woman would EVER be able to get away with that) while preaching. In another thread, on poster stated that the world's ideas about dating/courting has ifluenced Christianity. I also believe ideas about male sexuality(i.e. boys will be boys and sowin the wild oats) has also seeped into Christianity. All I'm trying to say is that I really want to see this message of celibacy and staying virgins until marriage be EQUALLY taught to both boys and girls. Sorry so long...just had to get that off of my chest

 

[pebbles]

The message of celibacy and sexual purity is not only for girls/women. It's for everybody, young men included. Parents have a responsibility to teach their daughters and their sons chastity. Both suffer for sexual immorality. We can only do this one family at a time, so I've started with my boys. It's hard in the days we live in, because men are expected to be sexually experienced by the world, but I'm teaching my son's that what God says overrides all worldly wisdom.

 

[Shimmie]

I am 22 and all my life I have grown up in the church. Since I was little, it was taught that we should save ourselves for marriage. Growing up, I noticed that these types of lessons focused more on the girls than the boys. Now that I'm older, I find this double standard a little disturbing. Why aren't young boys taught and drilled with this same type of message of purity? Some people say that men are just sexual creatures/visually stimulated and it is their nature to test women sexually and it is up to us to set the boundaries.

My problem with this theory is that Christian men are not being controlled by the spirit but are being controlled by their own lusts. Is this not contradictory to what the bible says about the Lord being able to keep us? We always hear about how precious it is for a woman to save herself for her husband...but what about the same message being given to men?

Oh and I absolutely hate the aurgument that men are visual while woman are mental. Yes men are visual but so are women(including me). What about men walking around with no shirt on...that tempts me too.

Or Eddie Long wearing his spandex muscle shirts(no woman would EVER be able to get away with that) while preaching.

In another thread, on poster stated that the world's ideas about dating/courting has ifluenced Christianity. I also believe ideas about male sexuality(i.e. boys will be boys and sowin the wild oats) has also seeped into Christianity. All I'm trying to say is that I really want to see this message of celibacy and staying virgins until marriage be EQUALLY taught to both boys and girls. Sorry so long...just had to get that off of my chest

Oh Sweetheart...take heart. Truly take heart.

I had to laugh at the bolded part. All I could hear what Bishop Eddie saying, "Watch this...Now watch this and then wipe his face with his handkerchief. Praise God for His joy.

Pearlygurl, it's worth it. Though it 'appears' unfair, it's worth the life and the love to live purely. For how else is there to live? God knew that there would be some who obeyed and some who would not. And it will always be this way. But this is when 'we' choose. And what we choose, we live with.

Now, with our choices come consequences and they are set ones. Of all of the things that money cannot buy, choosing the 'good' is always better no matter who else does or does not.

Now, you have another choice to make. The choice of seeing the joy which is set before you. The joy of being blessed for liiving and giving your best. Choose.....to allow this joy to rule and not the disappointing acts of any fool. For it's not about 'them' so much as it is about you.

You are the one who has to live with you and no one else. So what do you choose to handle and live with? Hmmmmm, the beauty of you... of course. Let the others be prayed for, as you move closer to your rewards. For God has prepared a table for you in the presence of your enemies. (Now, I didn't say that, He did in Psalm 23).

 

[cocoberry10]

I am 22 and all my life I have grown up in the church. Since I was little, it was taught that we should save ourselves for marriage. Growing up, I noticed that these types of lessons focused more on the girls than the boys. Now that I'm older, I find this double standard a little disturbing. Why aren't young boys taught and drilled with this same type of message of purity? Some people say that men are just sexual creatures/visually stimulated and it is their nature to test women sexually and it is up to us to set the boundaries.

My problem with this theory is that Christian men are not being controlled by the spirit but are being controlled by their own lusts. Is this not contradictory to what the bible says about the Lord being able to keep us? We always hear about how precious it is for a woman to save herself for her husband...but what about the same message being given to men?

Oh and I absolutely hate the aurgument that men are visual while woman are mental. Yes men are visual but so are women(including me). What about men walking around with no shirt on...that tempts me too. Or Eddie Long wearing his spandex muscle shirts(no woman would EVER be able to get away with that) while preaching. In another thread, on poster stated that the world's ideas about dating/courting has ifluenced Christianity. I also believe ideas about male sexuality(i.e. boys will be boys and sowin the wild oats) has also seeped into Christianity. All I'm trying to say is that I really want to see this message of celibacy and staying virgins until marriage be EQUALLY taught to both boys and girls. Sorry so long...just had to get that off of my chest

Girl, we must be long lost twins! I have had the same issue with this as well. I have saved myself, and I'm also in my early/mid 20's. I don't even date right now, because I'm so tired of meeting men who don't respect the fact that I want to wait. And most of these men are "Christian." I totally agree that the church has a double standard when it comes to remaining pure.

I also find that double standard alarming how they talk about beautiful women in the church and how we "tempt" pastors to have lustful thoughts and commit sexual sin. I'm sorry, I thought the pastor took the higher calling to serve God. Although I would never say this was okay, if you are a pastor, it SHOULDN'T matter whether a female parishoner came into your office completely naked...you should be able to control yourself.

However, even though I'm frustrated, I stay on this path, because I know it's the right thing to do. Even if I never marry, I realize that waiting for the right man for 1,000 years will always be better than settling down with the wrong one for 40 years. There are a lot of men (both in and out of the church) that can bring a great deal of heartache into your life. I'm really letting God control this one.

 

[PaperClip]

Girl, we must be long lost twins! I have had the same issue with this as well. I have saved myself, and I'm also in my early/mid 20's. I don't even date right now, because I'm so tired of meeting men who don't respect the fact that I want to wait. And most of these men are "Christian." I totally agree that the church has a double standard when it comes to remaining pure.

I also find that double standard alarming how they talk about beautiful women in the church and how we "tempt" pastors to have lustful thoughts and commit sexual sin. I'm sorry, I thought the pastor took the higher calling to serve God. Although I would never say this was okay, if you are a pastor, it SHOULDN'T matter whether a female parishoner came into your office completely naked...you should be able to control yourself.

However, even though I'm frustrated, I stay on this path, because I know it's the right thing to do. Even if I never marry, I realize that waiting for the right man for 1,000 years will always be better than settling down with the wrong one for 40 years. There are a lot of men (both in and out of the church) that can bring a great deal of heartache into your life. I'm really letting God control this one.

It might be a higher calling but we're all in the SAME KIND OF EARTHSUIT: F-L-E-S-H! Just like my flesh, if it don't (doesn't, I know!) get washed, it STINKS! If it gets cut, it BLEEDS!!! Granted, walking in pastorship requires MUCH GRACE, and our Lord grants it to them, but I think sometimes we expect too much from leadership. That's a double standard as well.

I'm in my 30s, still waiting. And quite honestly, when I hear a 20-something share their "frustration", I tend to think their whining. (I'm just speaking honestly here.). I do agree with the OP in that there's a GREAT DEAL of socialization going on, and for me, that was FROM THE WOMB!!!! But the Lord has been dealing with me on MY WHINING! How about that!

At the end of it all, God will judge us on what each person does, not what somebody else "provoked" us to do. We all have to answer to God for our own behavior, not somebody else's.

 

[Honey6928215]

I agree with you wholeheartedly. We live in a double-standard society but that doesn't mean you have to agree with it. It's your choice not theirs. If men approach you about knocking boots especially those who are so-called Christians tell them right then and there. It's important for women to stay birtuous for marriage but men need to do the same.

Let them know that if I'm saving myself for marriage then why would I want you to 'pollute' my body with their and other women's toxins? That would probably shock them.

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm in my 30s, still waiting. And quite honestly, when I hear a 20-something share their "frustration", I tend to think their whining. (I'm just speaking honestly here.). I do agree with the OP in that there's a GREAT DEAL of socialization going on, and for me, that was FROM THE WOMB!!!! But the Lord has been dealing with me on MY WHINING! How about that!

At the end of it all, God will judge us on what each person does, not what somebody else "provoked" us to do. We all have to answer to God for our own behavior, not somebody else's.

I'm not even offended by what you said in the bolded part, because I understand. And, I always appreciate your honesty .

I do understand what you meant about preachers also being human, and don't believe I don't know that. However, I also agree with the OP that the church has to make us accountable for our actions individually, despite the temptations of the flesh.

Like, if I walked into a room filled with Godiva chocolate, that doesn't give me the right to eat every single piece of candy. And likewise, I think the church lets men off the hook by emphasizing how "visual" they are. Yes, men are visual, but like the OP said, so aren't women. Women tend to "lust" after beautiful things too, just in a different way. Put most women in a room filled with beautiful Italian made shoes or silk dresses, and see our tongues lag, and see us drool the way men drool over a beautiful woman. However, that doesn't give us a license to act a fool with the credit card.

The point is, we have to be individually accountable and do what's right, b/c it's right and that's all (and you stated this beautifully in your post RR) !

 

[upandcoming]

I know what you mean. All I have to say is God sees your heart and will bless you for His faithfulness to HIM. When I get frustrated about getting married and whatnot and the possibility of having to marry a man who hasn't waited for ME - I assure myself that I am not saving myself for a man on earth. To be honest, I don't think most (if any) men are worthy of that. However, I am saving myself because of my heavenly Father and is He is worthy of all the praise. God will reward you for your faithfulness.

 

[PaperClip]

I'm not even offended by what you said in the bolded part, because I understand. And, I always appreciate your honesty .

I do understand what you meant about preachers also being human, and don't believe I don't know that. However, I also agree with the OP that the church has to make us accountable for our actions individually, despite the temptations of the flesh.

Like, if I walked into a room filled with Godiva chocolate, that doesn't give me the right to eat every single piece of candy. And likewise, I think the church lets men off the hook by emphasizing how "visual" they are. Yes, men are visual, but like the OP said, so aren't women. Women tend to "lust" after beautiful things too, just in a different way. Put most women in a room filled with beautiful Italian made shoes or silk dresses, and see our tongues lag, and see us drool the way men drool over a beautiful woman. However, that doesn't give us a license to act a fool with the credit card.

The point is, we have to be individually accountable and do what's right, b/c it's right and that's all (and you stated this beautifully in your post RR) !

Whoo! Sometimes I feel like a broken record on this waiting tip! God is working on me, though! I appreciate you all's patience and encouraging words.

With regard to the double standard about men and purity, let's take it there. Is there ANY EXAMPLE in the Bible where a MAN is mentioned for his physical purity/abstinence from sexual relations? Yes, the New Testament talks about both unmarried men and women caring for the things of the Lord and remaining chaste until marriage (1 Corinthians 7?) But there are several examples of women who did keep themselves (Esther) and those who were chastised for their lack of purity, e.g., Jezebel, Delilah.

So I said all that to say what? I don't know! LOL! The Word divinely inspired by the Lord God Almighty remains true to me and I must obey the word of God in my female earthsuit.

 

[cocoberry10]

I know what you mean. All I have to say is God sees your heart and will bless you for His faithfulness to HIM. When I get frustrated about getting married and whatnot and the possibility of having to marry a man who hasn't waited for ME - I assure myself that I am not saving myself for a man on earth. To be honest, I don't think most (if any) men are worthy of that. However, I am saving myself because of my heavenly Father and is He is worthy of all the praise. God will reward you for your faithfulness.

Great words of truth togethernessinchrist! Spoken like a true woman of the Lord. ITA with your post, especially the bolded part. I've realized that sexual purity is not about a man, but about God, especially since most men may not really appreciate it. I just ask God not to put any knuckleheads in my path !

 

[cocoberry10]

Whoo! Sometimes I feel like a broken record on this waiting tip! God is working on me, though! I appreciate you all's patience and encouraging words.

With regard to the double standard about men and purity, let's take it there. Is there ANY EXAMPLE in the Bible where a MAN is mentioned for his physical purity/abstinence from sexual relations? Yes, the New Testament talks about both unmarried men and women caring for the things of the Lord and remaining chaste until marriage (1 Corinthians 7?) But there are several examples of women who did keep themselves (Esther) and those who were chastised for their lack of purity, e.g., Jezebel, Delilah.

So I said all that to say what? I don't know! LOL! The Word divinely inspired by the Lord God Almighty remains true to me and I must obey the word of God in my female earthsuit.

No RR, you've taught us a lot too. I appreciate you asking the honest questions (like how does a celibate person deal with sexual frustration or how do you deal with divorce if you saved yourself for marriage and it doesn't work out, etc.), because these are questions many churches don't want to answer.

I think the truth is that there is no simple answer, nor is walking in righteousness easy. However, I've realized that whether you walk in righteousness or not, it's going to be tough.

Just as many of my female friends who aren't celibate are having relationship drama/problems as my friends that are. And, even when I get lonely, I realize that there are many women (and men) in relationships who are just as lonely with me, who is single. Another person doesn't bring you fulfillment, but the wrong person can/most likely will bring disaster. Look at all the women with HIV, HPV, Herpes, Syphllis (sp?), unplanned pregnancies, baby daddies who hate them, and are dealing with cheating, unloving, abusive partners. Right now, I say no thanks to all that. Is that what they discussed in the Soulmate film (I remember you saying the Lord has protected you from so much, just curious)?

Anyway, I am really learning to be content with my life now. If and when it's time for other things, they'll come.

 

[PaperClip]

No RR, you've taught us a lot too. I appreciate you asking the honest questions (like how does a celibate person deal with sexual frustration or how do you deal with divorce if you saved yourself for marriage and it doesn't work out, etc.), because these are questions many churches don't want to answer.

I think the truth is that there is no simple answer, nor is walking in righteousness easy. However, I've realized that whether you walk in righteousness or not, it's going to be tough.

Just as many of my female friends who aren't celibate are having relationship drama/problems as my friends that are. And, even when I get lonely, I realize that there are many women (and men) in relationships who are just as lonely with me, who is single. Another person doesn't bring you fulfillment, but the wrong person can/most likely will bring disaster. Look at all the women with HIV, HPV, Herpes, Syphllis (sp?), unplanned pregnancies, baby daddies who hate them, and are dealing with cheating, unloving, abusive partners. Right now, I say no thanks to all that. Is that what they discussed in the Soulmate film (I remember you saying the Lord has protected you from so much, just curious)?

Anyway, I am really learning to be content with my life now. If and when it's time for other things, they'll come.

Actually, Coco, I'm going to see the film again for the second time in support of one of my friends from church.

The film did talk mention the AIDS epidemic, and individual stories mentioned poor judgements/decisions with regard to relationships, sexual recklessness, etc. and the consequences of such situations. And yes, when I heard some of the stories, I was once again reminded to be GRATEFUL that I had not gone through such traumatic experiences.

 

[Browndilocks]

I am 22 and all my life I have grown up in the church. Since I was little, it was taught that we should save ourselves for marriage. Growing up, I noticed that these types of lessons focused more on the girls than the boys. Now that I'm older, I find this double standard a little disturbing. Why aren't young boys taught and drilled with this same type of message of purity? Some people say that men are just sexual creatures/visually stimulated and it is their nature to test women sexually and it is up to us to set the boundaries.

My problem with this theory is that Christian men are not being controlled by the spirit but are being controlled by their own lusts. Is this not contradictory to what the bible says about the Lord being able to keep us? We always hear about how precious it is for a woman to save herself for her husband...but what about the same message being given to men?

Oh and I absolutely hate the aurgument that men are visual while woman are mental. Yes men are visual but so are women(including me). What about men walking around with no shirt on...that tempts me too. Or Eddie Long wearing his spandex muscle shirts(no woman would EVER be able to get away with that) while preaching. In another thread, on poster stated that the world's ideas about dating/courting has ifluenced Christianity. I also believe ideas about male sexuality(i.e. boys will be boys and sowin the wild oats) has also seeped into Christianity. All I'm trying to say is that I really want to see this message of celibacy and staying virgins until marriage be EQUALLY taught to both boys and girls. Sorry so long...just had to get that off of my chest

ITA!!!!! You couldn't have said it better!!!!! I am SO sick and tired of these heathenistic church "men" sniffing after my behind, but I'M the one who has to make sure I'm covered from head to toe so they won't have too much to look at.

I don't even dress like a hooch in church but I'm bothered by things that other people imply should be done, like covering your legs with a scarf when you sit down. These lustful, starvin men just need those demons cast out of them so that they can behave.

I'm sorry yall - I'm facing an issue here that has made me avoid going to church for 3 months. I just might start a thread on it.

 

[meek&quietspirit]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?erplexed

Girl, we must be long lost twins! I have had the same issue with this as well. I have saved myself, and I'm also in my early/mid 20's. I don't even date right now, because I'm so tired of meeting men who don't respect the fact that I want to wait. And most of these men are "Christian." I totally agree that the church has a double standard when it comes to remaining pure.

I also find that double standard alarming how they talk about beautiful women in the church and how we "tempt" pastors to have lustful thoughts and commit sexual sin. I'm sorry, I thought the pastor took the higher calling to serve God. Although I would never say this was okay, if you are a pastor, it SHOULDN'T matter whether a female parishoner came into your office completely naked...you should be able to control yourself.

However, even though I'm frustrated, I stay on this path, because I know it's the right thing to do. Even if I never marry, I realize that waiting for the right man for 1,000 years will always be better than settling down with the wrong one for 40 years. There are a lot of men (both in and out of the church) that can bring a great deal of heartache into your life. I'm really letting God control this one.

 

[PaperClip]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?erplexed

Um... whoa... wow.... All I can say is that I appreciate my pastor/spiritual father). He says that (and this applies to any situation) that a thought may come to your mind but you don't have to let it build a nest there. In other words, yes, we all have things that attract us and catch our eye, but the line is crossed when you LINGER. That means there's time for it to travel from the eyes through the brain to the HEART, and the Bible says in Matthew 5:28:But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 

[Browndilocks]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?erplexed

See what I mean? He needs to be delivered too.

 

[cocoberry10]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?:perplexed

Heck no you aren't being too sensitive! He needs serious deliverance.

The former youth pastor of my church (that I grew up in) used to speak in sexual tones, and it was later discovered that he had had sex with a 14 year old girl . He was a parole officer during the week, and was a 3rd generation minister (His daddy and grandaddy were renowned preachers). Anyway, I totally agree with you. I don't dress like a hooch, but men need to be able to control themselves too! It's not just women acting a fool.

And if I were your pastor's wife, I certainly wouldn't be laughing. Cause there's nothing funny about what he says.

However, I would be more understanding if he said that he knew he needed deliverance, etc. But it's almost sounding like he's arrogant about his lust. Like Jesus said, if you even look at a woman with lust, you've already committed adultery in your heart. And let's be honest, most sin begins in the heart (if not all sin). First we have to think the sin, then we have to commit the act. In law school, we learn that a crime is mens rea (guilty mind) + actus reus (guilty act) + causation=CRIME. You could use this same formula for sin!

 

[pearlygurl]

I do agree with the OP in that there's a GREAT DEAL of socialization going on, and for me, that was FROM THE WOMB!!!! But the Lord has been dealing with me on MY WHINING! How about that!
QUOTE]

I think that's the part that bothers me the most. I don't think many people really realize how much society(socialization) affects our way of thinking. Even we as Christians(me included) might sometimes succumb to the world's way of thinking without even noticing it. I just would like to see more people teach purity to both boys/girls equally and not literally pound the message of purity from birth for girls and have a nonchalant/boys will be boys attitude towards the boys.

 

[Shimmie]

I'm not even offended by what you said in the bolded part, because I understand. And, I always appreciate your honesty .

I do understand what you meant about preachers also being human, and don't believe I don't know that. However, I also agree with the OP that the church has to make us accountable for our actions individually, despite the temptations of the flesh.

Like, if I walked into a room filled with Godiva chocolate, that doesn't give me the right to eat every single piece of candy. And likewise, I think the church lets men off the hook by emphasizing how "visual" they are. Yes, men are visual, but like the OP said, so aren't women. Women tend to "lust" after beautiful things too, just in a different way.

Put most women in a room filled with beautiful Italian made shoes or silk dresses, and see our tongues lag, and see us drool the way men drool over a beautiful woman. However, that doesn't give us a license to act a fool with the credit card.

The point is, we have to be individually accountable and do what's right, b/c it's right and that's all (and you stated this beautifully in your post RR) !

Gee Coco...you 'called me out' I thought we was 'girls'...

Just kidding. I get silly after 9:00 p.m.

But back on topic, there is a double-standard which is spoken. But one which is unspoken, we know that there are many women who run behind ministers who look 'good' and many of these men know it and make it a point to present that look, knowing they are getting the wrong attention. Women too, are visual.

But I'm still laughing about our precious OP mentioning Bishop Long in his shirts... I'm sorry, I just never thought too much about it. You know, he is just being a guy...some men just do 'guy' things. I see this in the gym alot and I just think 'whatever'... (men with muscles and six-packs don't impress me - their hearts do).

I'm not taking up for him. I do agree, that this could be a stumbling block for many women. This is a reminder to us that Bishop Long and all men of God are just that, humble 'men.' He's only human. Not only do we need to pray for him, but a brother needs to tell him. He'll listen.

 

[cocoberry10]

Gee Coco...you 'called me out' I thought we was 'girls'...
Just kidding. I get silly after 9:00 p.m.

But back on topic, there is a double-standard which is spoken. But one which is unspoken, we know that there are many women who run behind ministers who look 'good' and many of these men know it and make it a point to present that look, knowing they are getting the wrong attention. Women too, are visual.

But I'm still laughing about our precious OP mentioning Bishop Long in his shirts... I'm sorry, I just never thought too much about it. You know, he is just being a guy...some men just do 'guy' things. I see this in the gym alot and I just think 'whatever'... (men with muscles and six-packs don't impress me - their hearts do).

I'm not taking up for him. I do agree, that this could be a stumbling block for many women. This is a reminder to us that Bishop Long and all men of God are just that, humble 'men.' He's only human. Not only do we need to pray for him, but a brother needs to tell him. He'll listen.

We are still girls, but shoes and beautiful dresses are many a woman's weakness (especially mine )

 

[Shimmie]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?erplexed

He's completely out of order and this needs to stop. I've seen this before and without further ado, this man is actually confessing his sins and using the platform as his confessional....He needs serious prayer.

 

[Shimmie]

We are still girls, but shoes and beautiful dresses are many a woman's weakness (especially mine )

Hey Coco, I know we're still 'girls'... One day I'll tell you how many pairs of shoes I have and my other weaknesses...

Love you, angel...

 

[pebbles]

We are still girls, but shoes and beautiful dresses are many a woman's weakness (especially mine )

Guilty!

 

[pebbles]

He's completely out of order and this needs to stop. I've seen this before and without further ado, this man is actually confessing his sins and using the platform as his confessional....He needs serious prayer.

Amen!! Goodness. . .

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

I am 22 and all my life I have grown up in the church. Since I was little, it was taught that we should save ourselves for marriage. Growing up, I noticed that these types of lessons focused more on the girls than the boys. Now that I'm older, I find this double standard a little disturbing. Why aren't young boys taught and drilled with this same type of message of purity? Some people say that men are just sexual creatures/visually stimulated and it is their nature to test women sexually and it is up to us to set the boundaries.

My problem with this theory is that Christian men are not being controlled by the spirit but are being controlled by their own lusts. Is this not contradictory to what the bible says about the Lord being able to keep us? We always hear about how precious it is for a woman to save herself for her husband...but what about the same message being given to men?

Oh and I absolutely hate the aurgument that men are visual while woman are mental. Yes men are visual but so are women(including me). What about men walking around with no shirt on...that tempts me too. Or Eddie Long wearing his spandex muscle shirts(no woman would EVER be able to get away with that) while preaching. In another thread, on poster stated that the world's ideas about dating/courting has ifluenced Christianity. I also believe ideas about male sexuality(i.e. boys will be boys and sowin the wild oats) has also seeped into Christianity. All I'm trying to say is that I really want to see this message of celibacy and staying virgins until marriage be EQUALLY taught to both boys and girls. Sorry so long...just had to get that off of my chest

I dunno. I was preached about celibacy for as long as I can remember. I truly believe women receive this message better than men because girls are usually more mature than men. When I had to speak to my son about the birds and the bees I spoke to him in the term of being married. He asked me if I waited until I married I replied " of course I did".

*sigh* No need to plant a weed in the boy's garden.. lmao.

The fact that men are more susceptible to the flesh than women is not a convenient excuse to justify a double standard. It is a truth. Women being able to better control their urges shows yet again how valuable she is in a man's life. She provides clarity, focus and guidence as he prevails over his personal struggles. Men do receive instruction to remain celibate. It is a hard ministry to partake but not an impossible one.

Oh lastly, on a double standard note, female virgins are adored for waiting, male virgins are often ridicled for waiting because he is challenged for not being a 'real man'.

As for eddie long wearing those spandex muscule shirts. Well all I can say is that middle age crisis excludes no one..LOL.

 

[pebbles]

I dunno. I was preached about celibacy as long as I can remember. I truly believe women receive this message better than men because girls are usually more mature than men. When I had to speak to my son about the birds and the bees I spoke to him in the term of being married. He asked me if I waited until I married I replied " of course I did".

*sigh* No need to plant a weed in the boy's garden.. lmao.

LOL!! The dreaded question!!

 

[BlkManWithSomeSense]

It's so sad. My Pastor says that if he see's a short skirt or a pretty woman, he's going to look, cause he's a normal, heterosexual man.

Maybe it's just me, but, I feel so uncomfortable when he says this.

Almost every Sunday, he makes reference to some pretty woman that he saw. He even told us during Bible Class that earlier that day, when he went to the bank, the female bank employee was flirting with him.

When he says these things, his wife either stares or laughs along with him.

Am I being too sensitive?erplexed

Wow that leaves me speechless. Thats totally inappropriate. He needs prayer and therapy. I wish I was there. I'd hypnotize him and tell him that every time he sees 'booty' he sees a picture of Holy Mary and starts crying.

 

[pebbles]

Wow that leaves me speechless. Thats totally inappropriate. He needs prayer and therapy. I wish I was there. I'd hypnotize him and tell him that every time he sees 'booty' he sees a picture of Holy Mary and starts crying.

LOL!! You're on a roll today!

 

[cocoberry10]

Oh lastly, on a double standard note, female virgins are adored for waiting, male virgins are often ridicled for waiting because he is challenged for not being a 'real man'.

Unfortunately, this is very much the truth! Thanks for shedding wisdom on it.

 

[pearlygurl]

The fact that men are more susceptible to the flesh than women is not a convenient excuse to justify a double standard. It is a truth. Women being able to better control their urges shows yet again how valuable she is in a man's life. She provides clarity, focus and guidence as he prevails over his personal struggles. Men do receive instruction to remain celibate. It is a hard ministry to partake but not an impossible one.

I have a hard time believing that men are more susceptible to the flesh than women. As far as urges, I don't think men and women differ in this area. However, I do think the difference is in that men are taught (and its acceptable) for men to explore these urges but women are taught to suppress them. JMHO