Caught between a rock and a hard place...

[Nevaeh1282]

Have you ever been involved (sexually or otherwise) with two men and couldn't make a choice on which one of them you should pursue?

How did you eventually make your final decision?

I've recently found myself with two men expressing deep feelings for me... I like both of them a lot... they're both good looking...both ambitious and have their ish together... both have a great sense of humour...
Basically when I weigh up the pros and cons with them both, they end up with an equal score....

So I'm kind of in a dilemna here... any thoughts?

 

[ellebelle88]

Sorta...there was a time when I was dating one guy but he was in the military and we didn't get to converse that much, so when I went off to college, I met someone new. We hit off great. But during Christmas break when my boyfriend came home we became closer but I found out he was cheating. I was so gung-ho over him and his cheating hurt me so bad that I didn't even want to deal with the dude back at school.

But when Christmas break was over, I decided it was time to let go of my ex and start a meaningful relationship with the dude at school. But he wasn't hearing it. Long story short, my ex left because I wasn't focusing on him when I was away at school and then the other dude left because I was heartbroken over my ex (although he didn't really know it, he just new that I wasn't paying him much attention for awhile).

So, I don't know who you should choose. That's something you have to do, but you do have to choose and devote your time and energy into making that relationship work. Because you might end up neglecting one by focusing more another, and I do believe that it will happen without you even knowing it. I would end one of the relationships on the "dating" level and try to remain friends. I really believe the saying applies, "One bird in hand is better than two in the tree." Hope everything works out.

 

[PapillionRouge]

Why choose?

Who says u have to? Social stigma?
Men do it to us all the time. As long as ur doing it safe and not looking to settle down 100% , just have funn!

But dont get caught ....

 

[Nevaeh1282]

Sorta...there was a time when I was dating one guy but he was in the military and we didn't get to converse that much, so when I went off to college, I met someone new. We hit off great. But during Christmas break when my boyfriend came home we became closer but I found out he was cheating. I was so gung-ho over him and his cheating hurt me so bad that I didn't even want to deal with the dude back at school.

But when Christmas break was over, I decided it was time to let go of my ex and start a meaningful relationship with the dude at school. But he wasn't hearing it. Long story short, my ex left because I wasn't focusing on him when I was away at school and then the other dude left because I was heartbroken over my ex (although he didn't really know it, he just new that I wasn't paying him much attention for awhile).

So, I don't know who you should choose. That's something you have to do, but you do have to choose and devote your time and energy into making that relationship work. Because you might end up neglecting one by focusing more another, and I do believe that it will happen without you even knowing it. I would end one of the relationships on the "dating" level and try to remain friends. I really believe the saying applies, "One bird in hand is better than two in the tree." Hope everything works out.

Sorry it worked out that way for you...
But thanks for posting. Not that I'm looking for someone to make my choice for me... just wondering how other folk made their decision... cuz right now I am totally stuck as to what else I can do to help me make up my mind.

 

[Nevaeh1282]

Why choose?

Who says u have to? Social stigma?
Men do it to us all the time. As long as ur doing it safe and not looking to settle down 100% , just have funn!

But dont get caught ....

LMAO! Well if I was younger it wouldnt be a problem at all... However I am sorta looking to settle down and unless I join the Mormon religion and move to a state that allows it, I can't be trying to marry them both...lol

 

[ellebelle88]

Why choose?

Who says u have to? Social stigma?
Men do it to us all the time. As long as ur doing it safe and not looking to settle down 100% , just have funn!

But dont get caught ....

Hell yeah!! I agree! I would play them ninjas left and right.

But I sensed that her situation was serious that's why I tried to give her the best answer, coming from my point of view...

 

[Nevaeh1282]

Guess I should have PMed this thread to one of the more 'popular' members and requested that it be posted! Might have gained a few more replies and a lot less peeping. Hmmm!

 

[HairQueen]

Just make sure you are careful if you sleep with them becasue you don't want to end up like those women on the Maury show: "I don't know who the father of my child is!!!!"

Seriously though, I say go ahead if you can juggle it, I personally have tried it but find it very hard because I tend to like one person much more than the others but also it is good to have plan B until you are in a committed relationship, especially if like me you are 32 and looking for someone to settle down with and don't want to waste time with someone only to have to start again.

By the way one thing I have noticed on this board is there are always more peepers than posters!!

 

[spelmanlocks]

This is kind of a hard question to answer, that's why you are getting so few replies I believe. Back in my college days I dated multiple men. At one point and I'm not kidding you I had 4 options at one time. Well now I'm about to marry one of those options and I think I definitely made the perfect choice. I chose him because when I left for my study abroad he was the only one that stayed in contact with me. He dropped so much money on phone cards and emailed me daily. The other guys would email or call occasionally, but not like my honey boo. When I came back the other 3 guys were pissed when I told them good bye. But I think God put that test up for them to show me who was right. I believe something will happen that will show you which one or if neither is right.

So in summary just keep dating both of them. Something will happen that will show you the right one to pick!

 

[Nevaeh1282]

Thanks for the replies Spelmanlocks and HairQueen...

I kinda feel bad about the juggling though... but I guess until I see a clear-cut signal of who I should go towards, then I will have to continue the juggling!

 

[Lindy]

I honestly don't understand how you could care for both of them exactly the same. I mean, isn't there one that you enjoy more than the other???? For me, it's usually clear who I really want to be with...

 

[runwaydream]

yea.. i agree w. what most ppl are saying. keep seeing both of them and in due time you'll begin to have stronger feelings for the one u care for the most. the only hard part is going to be letting the other one go.. if both of them are already expressing strong feelings at this pt. dragging it along and letting their feelings get even stronger can end up hurting them alot. but... i guess you have to decide whats more important. you making the right decision or not hurting someone's feelings.

 

[sky_blu]

They both sound good...how about which ever one you dont choose, send him to me

 

[SexySin985]

LMAO! Well if I was younger it wouldnt be a problem at all... However I am sorta looking to settle down and unless I join the Mormon religion and move to a state that allows it, I can't be trying to marry them both...lol

I know this was probably meant as a joke but Mormons no longer practice polygamy

Either way I do hope you figure out your dilemma. Good luck