Can't stand my Ex

[cherryhair123]

My ex-husband is an A$$hole! He called yesterday on Thanksgiving to let eveyone at my house know his 21 year old girlfriend, ( He's 36) just had a baby. Mind you he owes me about 3 years/ $30,000 worth of child support and hasn't seen his kids in 3 years. I really do hate him but I'm mad at myself for going off on him. I shouldn't even let that fool get to me. I'll just see his a$$ in court.

 

[envybeauty]

There is something about them (ex) ruining your mood during the holiday. Sorry to hear about that fool. Sorry for the girl and her kid. She'll learn the hard way.

My ex just had to let me know that he is getting married next year. That (for many reasons) did not put me in a good mood.

 

[cherryhair123]

Thanks NVy
It's nice to know this is something they tend to do. I'm trying to keep in mind the best revenge is living a great life.

 

[Aveena]

The best revenge IS living well. Keep your head up...it's a shame you had to hear word of the new baby on the holiday. But, don't let it steal your joy....ya know?

 

[MizzBrown]

Does the 21 yr old girlfriend know that he's behind on CS payments and doesn't see his kids? Duh! What makes her think her life would be any different? Cause she's younger? Men AND women can be so stupid sometimes.

 

[femalegold]

Try and keep you head up. Things will get better!

 

[Honey6928215]

Don't let that get to you. He's doing that because he knows he can ruin your holiday with that news. Men do that to get a rise out of you because they know they can get under your skin and what better way then to announce a new SO who happens to be younger and newborn especially since you said he's not taking care of the children he has now. Be grateful that he's out of your life. Too bad he's going to be her headache.

 

[cherryhair123]

Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support. He called today to say he put some money in the mail yesterday. I think he got that I am serious. I apologized to him for going off and congratulated him. I was not about to carry the burden of anger and unforgiveness around with me. It's not worth it!

 

[bluediamond0829]

Dont let him bother u...its amazing how some people cant just have a good holiday without ruining someone elses....very sad....

but girl just keep ur head up...take him to court...do ur thing....bcuz in the end he's going to be one thats going to be right in the same place he tried to make u feel....dont lower down to his level....

 

[stinastina]

My ex-husband is an A$$hole! He called yesterday on Thanksgiving to let eveyone at my house know his 21 year old girlfriend, ( He's 36) just had a baby. Mind you he owes me about 3 years/ $30,000 worth of child support and hasn't seen his kids in 3 years. I really do hate him but I'm mad at myself for going off on him. I shouldn't even let that fool get to me. I'll just see his a$$ in court.

Are they married or getting married ? Does she have a job ? If yes, some states will let you attach a marital joint bank account for child support, not to mention their tax returns. Does he file taxes every year ? At the least you should be getting that.
Girl, if she has a good job, pray they get married so you can get your child's money ! My poor cousin married some guy who had 2 babies by a chica on welfare. They got her bank account and her taxes. And they got it for 3 kids. By the time they got to court and found out one of the kids wasn't his, she got a chunk of change and my cousin was ready for a divorce. This was in Cali so check your state and get down to the courthouse asap.

 

[meia]

be honest with you ladies, I think ex's only call like that because they still love you so much and they want to make you feel pain because they messed up originally...

my previous ex (but now current bf) slept with his ex-girlfriend nearly the moment we broke up (over something he did to me). Hardly remorseful and the whole nine. I believe he did it because he loved me so much and it did nothing but make him feel like he one upped me....

to the OP...he deeply loves you- otherwise he wouldn't have gone and got a 21 year old pregnant (who we all know most likely isn't on your intelligence/emotional/mental level) and he wouldn't have called you not even once...him acting like he still has something "to prove" to you tells me that...

if he was truly happy, confident, and satisfied with his choices then he wouldn't have called at all. Living well is the best revenge- he wouldn't have called at all, seriously.

ETA: Don't worry about blowing up on him or anything of that nature. You reacted as any other red-blooded female would have.....and he preyed off of that. You did correct. At least you told him how you felt so there aren't any actual regrets....

 

[MissYocairis]

My ex-husband is an A$$hole! He called yesterday on Thanksgiving to let eveyone at my house know his 21 year old girlfriend, ( He's 36) just had a baby. Mind you he owes me about 3 years/ $30,000 worth of child support and hasn't seen his kids in 3 years. I really do hate him but I'm mad at myself for going off on him. I shouldn't even let that fool get to me. I'll just see his a$$ in court.

I do not even know what to say/think. I am speechless....wth, kind of person is THAT deluded?

 

[meia]

be honest, I think he just has regrets and his regrets make him act out...
and he shouldn't treat your family like that....how could he deprive his children so deeply? I would definitely take him to court- just be very cautious not to put yourself through additional pain...you certainly DON'T deserve it.

 

[MissYocairis]

be honest, I think he just has regrets and his regrets make him act out...
and he shouldn't treat your family like that....how could he deprive his children so deeply? I would definitely take him to court- just be very cautious not to put yourself through additional pain...you certainly DON'T deserve it.

I know. It makes me sad to hear he has dropped the ball with the children going on three years now and has actually brought forth ANOTHER one? These men need real men to take their azzez out in the back alley and whup some sense into them.

 

[meia]

I know. It makes me sad to hear he has dropped the ball with the children going on three years now and has actually brought forth ANOTHER one? These men need real men to take their azzez out in the back alley and whup some sense into them.

I think men today have sorely lost touch of their responsibility (i'm not negating women, not in the least...there are some sleazies in the bunch!)....to their children, their wives, and their families....

the way to rectify a possible broken relationship is NOT to jump right back in. I'm 22...I know how vulnerable a 21 year old can be....i'm sure he's taking advantage of her to make himself feel large.....and he'll abandon her just the same. Trust- men don't do it once, get away with it, and change....

now my question is, how much does the 21 year old REALLY know about his family and the situation he's left the OP in? If she does, like another poster said, she DUMB with a capital D to think he won't do the same to her when it strikes his fancy and he wants to move on....its an ongoing cycle until someone breaks it and i'm sad to say the 21 year old won't be the end, i'm sure.

looking at my SO his dad had 4 babies by 3 different women and owed back child support to my SO's mom....he even told my SO once that (and I quote), "he could've just left him at the hospital and pretended that he wasn't his son"... right, because telling your child that makes it ALL better and reaffirms how much he's loved, RIGHT? jesus.

 

[MissYocairis]

I think men today have sorely lost touch of their responsibility (i'm not negating women, not in the least...there are some sleazies in the bunch!)....to their children, their wives, and their families....

the way to rectify a possible broken relationship is NOT to jump right back in. I'm 22...I know how vulnerable a 21 year old can be....i'm sure he's taking advantage of her to make himself feel large.....and he'll abandon her just the same. Trust- men don't do it once, get away with it, and change....

now my question is, how much does the 21 year old REALLY know about his family and the situation he's left the OP in? If she does, like another poster said, she DUMB with a capital D to think he won't do the same to her when it strikes his fancy and he wants to move on....its an ongoing cycle until someone breaks it and i'm sad to say the 21 year old won't be the end, i'm sure.

looking at my SO his dad had 4 babies by 3 different women and owed back child support to my SO's mom....he even told my SO once that (and I quote), "he could've just left him at the hospital and pretended that he wasn't his son"... right, because telling your child that makes it ALL better and reaffirms how much he's loved, RIGHT? jesus.

There are soooo many pathetic men out there. And, they seem to have no shame about it whatsoever.

 

[meia]

There are soooo many pathetic men out there. And, they seem to have no shame about it whatsoever.

Not even the slightest bit of shame. It really makes me sad to see there are so many men that choose not be stronger and bigger than their circumstances. To me- so many are afraid of what they don't know at all and aren't willing to change. If I had kids? Even if I had to "man-up" and be the mom and dad for my child (Even though I really think children need a father in their lives)- I would be just as strong as cherryhair123 and not let my circumstances get me down. She's staying strong for her kids so no one can take that away from her in the least.