Can You Tell the Difference Between Relaxed and Natural Straightened?

[J Hazel]

your hair does not look relaxed at all to me, but hey if sooo many other people think it does i guess it may

BlackMasterPiece, thank the lord that your hair does not indeed look relaxed, as you'd loose that gorgeous thick and full look!!!

I love your hair!!!

 

[J Hazel]

Did you ever attempt to tweak your regimen?

Maybe your hair didn't like daily moisture like mine......as for using fantastic conditioners, just because a conditioner is raved about doensnt mean its gonna work with your specific hair type, you have to do some experimentation until you can settle on your staples.

Also why do you feel you looked like sideshow bob? What styles were you attempting? just curiosity, no judgement.

I hope I'm not coming off like I'm grilling you its just you've presented your posts as if the relaxer was the only way for you to get long thick healthy hair and I just don't think thats a fair assertion or a positive message to be putting out there. I respect you sista and you made beautiful progress but I think that has more to do with the fact that you were more willing to handle your hair relaxed......thats all.

I'm glad you've seen progress with your current style choice

ITA with the bolded.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

BlackMasterPiece, thank the lord that your hair does not indeed look relaxed, as you'd loose that gorgeous thick and full look!!!

I love your hair!!!

:blush3:Thanks so much hun!

I agree

 

[J Hazel]

1) LOL @ people getting upset about others' opinions about the look of straightened natural hair and relaxed hair. If someone has observed and if it is their opinion that pressed natural hair does indeed look different (healthier, shinier, whatever) than relaxed hair, what is the problem? The OP posed a question and folks are responding to it. These are strangers opinions.... let. it. go.

2) @ the folks getting offended, I tend to think this is because these people are not all the way comfortable with their decision to rock chemically altered hair. They know the real issues surrounding the practice, but don't want to deal with it because they gotta still look 'fly' (for their jobs, men, whatever). Again, if you aren't offended, this statement is not in reference to you.

3) It's funny how people get ticked when a person declares their love/preference for the look of their own natural hair...yet it is A.O.K. to talk about taco meat, hating transitioning hair bc the new growth is way too nappy/unruly/dry, declaring that they are about to walk off of a rooftop/shave bald/ continue chemicalizing because they can't handle their highly textured hair....<<<<THAT is ok, but people saying that they like the look of natural hair better than relaxed hair is terrible, condescending, and divisive

4) Its also funny that the folks who even brought up natural vs.relaxed in this thread are the relaxed heads...leads me to believe there is a bit of paranoia and undue suspicion. Relax (no pun intended, lol).

5) Let me cover some bases, since I know folks are going to come up in here talkin' the following:

"Let people do them"> We are on an online message board...there is nothing else people can do on here but to 'let' others 'do them'. IMO no one on this board should even allow someone else the power to make them upset about their decisions. If a random persons opinion on a random mesage board is upsetting you that much, something is wrong. Either you are not comfortable with your decision or there are other deeper emotional issues going on, lol.

"Why do you care about what others do to their own heads?" >I'm sure most people on the board don't but since the central question in this thread is soliciting opinions and commentary on relaxed and natural hair ...folks are going to respond. If you don't like the response, that has nothing to do with the responder...but maybe more to do with you.

"Both relaxed hair and natural hair can look disgusting and both can look beautiful, lets work together, we're all black women wanting long hair, kumbaya, amen." > I agree .

Tell it sister!!!!!!!!!

 

[sheba1]

Tell it sister!!!!!!!!!

I actually don't think she should tell that, at all. And I'm natural.

 

[J Hazel]

I actually don't think she should tell that, at all. And I'm natural.

In my opinion she's just speaking the truth, 'tis all.

 

[sheba1]

^^^ made evident by your post. In my opinion you shouldn't say such inflammatory things on a board full of people who care so much about their hair so as to pay a fee every year. If she has the right to state her opinion and you have the right to state yours, then I must have the right to disagree, right?

 

[J Hazel]

Yes you certainly do have the right to voice your opinion, but people have been getting offended when someone says that straightened natural hair looks thicker and fuller than relaxed hair, which in may (not all) cases it does.

To the women who's natural straightened hair didn't look too good, maybe it wasn't the fact that their hair was natural and hard to straighten, maybe it's the simple fact that their technique wasn't too good coupled with the fact that they probably weren't taking the best care of their hair in its natural state, leading them to think it was wearing their hair natural that was the problem when the real problem was most probably their shoddy haircare techniques.

 

[sheba1]

Just as see through relaxed hair is most likely due to shoddy haircare techniques in select individuals.

Again, I think the offense is more likely the untruth in the blanket statement that natural hair straightened is healthier, fuller, bouncier, etc; whereas relaxed hair is thin, see through, etc. And then, the follow up statement that if that statement offends you, it's not because the statement is untrue; it is because "[deep down] you're not entirely comfortable with your choice to chemically alter your hair." Uh.... ok

 

[J Hazel]

Just as see through relaxed hair is most likely due to shoddy haircare techniques in select individuals.

Again, I think the offense is more likely the untruth in the blanket statement that natural hair straightened is healthier, fuller, bouncier, etc; whereas relaxed hair is thin, see through, etc. And then, the follow up statement that if that statement offends you, it's not because the statement is untrue; it is because "[deep down] you're not entirely comfortable with your choice to chemically alter your hair." Uh.... ok

Well the way I see it, if people were entirely happy with their hair, then they'd have no reason to chemically alter it in the first place!

 

[zzirvingj]

I'm in the group of people that can't really tell the difference between relaxed hair and straightened natural hair. Shoot, I'm just now beginning to detect when a person has a weave lol

I've seen alot of women with gorgeous silky straight hair, especially in ATL...it just seems as though in some places you have access to a larger number of top-notch stylists, who will have your hair looking gorgeously bouncy/full/bone straight whether you are 3-4a/b/c/z, relaxed, natural, weaved, etc....so it makes it harder to tell the difference.

I have had a guy or two come up to me and say they knew my naturally straightened hair was natural. I'm not sure how they knew cuz I didn't ask...but I would be willing to bet it had to do with how thick my hair was. When I was relaxed my hair was "flatter" when straight. Now, when it's straight it's "fuller".

I get the same amount of "bounce" when my hair is first straightened as when it used to be first relaxed (lasts about a week)...but the "bounce" wears off with time whether relaxed or straightened naturally in my experience. ETA: So in the end, nowadays I end up with just a "bigger" version of my straightened hair as a natural. Hope that makes sense.

 

[sheba1]

Well the way I see it, if people were entirely happy with their hair, then they'd have no reason to chemically alter it in the first place!

She said they were offended because they were not comfortable with their decision to alter their hair. That's an unfair. Especially on a board like this where they could simply be offended because their relaxed hair is gorgeous; not thin, see-through, etc.

 

[sharifeh]

Well the way I see it, if people were entirely happy with their hair, then they'd have no reason to chemically alter it in the first place!

If people were entirely happy with their hair then they wouldn't keep finding opportunities to put down the hair of others.
You can elevate your own hair without putting down the hair of others.

 

[jennboo]

If people were entirely happy with their hair then they wouldn't keep finding opportunities to put down the hair of others.
You can elevate your own hair without putting down the hair of others.

Correct me if i am wrong, bc i very well may be, but... i could have sworn the OP asked the question: "Can you tell the difference between straightened natural hair and relaxed hair?"....did she not? Am i missing something, lol? People are responding to her question, based on thier opinions.

Some people find straightened natural hair better looking then relaxed hair and some people find relaxed hair better looking than straightened natural hair . What's the problem? Seriously, i need to know why people are getting upset (i mean, i have an idea why, but, i wanna know y'alls opinions, lol)

 

[sheba1]

^^^ The problem is that naturals saying that natural straightened hair looks better than relaxed hair, across the board, is bound to offend every relaxed head on this board. It's a problem, it is offensive and it should stop.

 

[ceebee3]

Correct me if i am wrong, bc i very well may be, but... i could have sworn the OP asked the question: "Can you tell the difference between straightened natural hair and relaxed hair?"....did she not? Am i missing something, lol? People are responding to her question, based on thier opinions.

Some people find straightened natural hair better looking then relaxed hair and some people find relaxed hair better looking than straightened natural hair . What's the problem? Seriously, i need to know why people are getting upset (i mean, i have an idea why, but, i wanna know y'alls opinions, lol)

No you don't!

 

[sharifeh]

Correct me if i am wrong, bc i very well may be, but... i could have sworn the OP asked the question: "Can you tell the difference between straightened natural hair and relaxed hair?"....did she not? Am i missing something, lol? People are responding to her question, based on thier opinions.

Some people find straightened natural hair better looking then relaxed hair and some people find relaxed hair better looking than straightened natural hair . What's the problem? Seriously, i need to know why people are getting upset (i mean, i have an idea why, but, i wanna know y'alls opinions, lol)

Ya I answered the question in a post above (I usually can't tell anyway)and I'm not offended or upset by any comments since I know that nobody's comments are absolute.

But that specific comment I responded to wasn't in response to the OP, I don't think...It was totally off-topic...and kind of low.

But the comments people are making about "natural" hair being thicker etc. when straight or anything, those didn't upset me at all, it's generally true for one reason or the other though not always true, lol,
Nothing anybody said is always true.
I don't know why you are targeting me lol

 

[ceebee3]

^^^ The problem is that naturals saying that natural straightened hair looks better than relaxed hair, across the board, is bound to offend every relaxed head on this board. It's a problem, it is offensive and it should stop.

I agree it is offensive but that wasn't stated throughout this thread.

 

[J Hazel]

Correct me if i am wrong, bc i very well may be, but... i could have sworn the OP asked the question: "Can you tell the difference between straightened natural hair and relaxed hair?"....did she not? Am i missing something, lol? People are responding to her question, based on thier opinions.

Some people find straightened natural hair better looking then relaxed hair and some people find relaxed hair better looking than straightened natural hair . What's the problem? Seriously, i need to know why people are getting upset (i mean, i have an idea why, but, i wanna know y'alls opinions, lol)

I too have a sneaking suspicion why so many relaxed heads are getting upset too!

 

[jennboo]

^^^ The problem is that naturals saying that natural straightened hair looks better than relaxed hair, across the board, is bound to offend every relaxed head on this board. It's a problem, it is offensive and it should stop.

1) It's an opinion. People are entitled.

2) If i were relaxed and content with my decision and had bomb a** relaxed hair random peoples' opinions on a message board wouldn't offend me one bit, lol.

3) From your logic, all these posts about taco meat and unruly /nasty/natural hair, perming down nappy new growth, etc. should offend all the naturals on the board, so people who state those things should stop too, right? lol. I hardly hear a peep from naturals getting offended about half the stuff posted on this board that denigrates natch hair, its just comical to me and the hypocrisy is so blatant, i feel like i have to point it out, lol.

 

[sheba1]

I agree it is offensive but that wasn't stated throughout this thread.

I'm really not sure if it's been stated word for word. I do think it's been implied.

I honestly didn't see too much reason to post, other than to state my original opinion until this post. I didn't think it was right to state number 2. So I simply stated that.

1) LOL @ people getting upset about others' opinions about the look of straightened natural hair and relaxed hair. If someone has observed and if it is their opinion that pressed natural hair does indeed look different (healthier, shinier, whatever) than relaxed hair, what is the problem? The OP posed a question and folks are responding to it. These are strangers opinions.... let. it. go.

2) @ the folks getting offended, I tend to think this is because these people are not all the way comfortable with their decision to rock chemically altered hair. They know the real issues surrounding the practice, but don't want to deal with it because they gotta still look 'fly' (for their jobs, men, whatever). Again, if you aren't offended, this statement is not in reference to you.

3) It's funny how people get ticked when a person declares their love/preference for the look of their own natural hair...yet it is A.O.K. to talk about taco meat, hating transitioning hair bc the new growth is way too nappy/unruly/dry, declaring that they are about to walk off of a rooftop/shave bald/ continue chemicalizing because they can't handle their highly textured hair....<<<<THAT is ok, but people saying that they like the look of natural hair better than relaxed hair is terrible, condescending, and divisive

4) Its also funny that the folks who even brought up natural vs.relaxed in this thread are the relaxed heads...leads me to believe there is a bit of paranoia and undue suspicion. Relax (no pun intended, lol).

5) Let me cover some bases, since I know folks are going to come up in here talkin' the following:

"Let people do them"> We are on an online message board...there is nothing else people can do on here but to 'let' others 'do them'. IMO no one on this board should even allow someone else the power to make them upset about their decisions. If a random persons opinion on a random mesage board is upsetting you that much, something is wrong. Either you are not comfortable with your decision or there are other deeper emotional issues going on, lol.

"Why do you care about what others do to their own heads?" >I'm sure most people on the board don't but since the central question in this thread is soliciting opinions and commentary on relaxed and natural hair ...folks are going to respond. If you don't like the response, that has nothing to do with the responder...but maybe more to do with you.

"Both relaxed hair and natural hair can look disgusting and both can look beautiful, lets work together, we're all black women wanting long hair, kumbaya, amen." > I agree .

Tell it sister!!!!!!!!!

 

[sheba1]

1) It's an opinion. People are entitled.

Of course. Which means I'm entitled to my opinion to disagree.

2) If i were relaxed and content with my decision and had bomb a** relaxed hair random peoples' opinions on a message board wouldn't offend me one bit, lol.

3) From your logic, all these posts about taco meat and unruly /nasty/natural hair, perming down nappy new growth, etc. should offend all the naturals on the board, so people who state those things should stop too, right? lol. I hardly hear a peep from naturals getting offended about half the stuff posted on this board that denigrates natch hair, its just comical to me and the hypocrisy is so blatant, i feel like i have to point it out, lol.

I find such comments equally offensive and should be addressed at the time the statement is made. It does not make sense, however, to make equally offensive comments and then defend those offensive statements at some later time. Two wrongs; still wrong.

 

[sharifeh]

1) It's an opinion. People are entitled.

2) If i were relaxed and content with my decision and had bomb a** relaxed hair random peoples' opinions on a message board wouldn't offend me one bit, lol.

3) From your logic, all these posts about taco meat and unruly /nasty/natural hair, perming down nappy new growth, etc. should offend all the naturals on the board, so people who state those things should stop too, right? lol. I hardly hear a peep from naturals getting offended about half the stuff posted on this board that denigrates natch hair, its just comical to me and the hypocrisy is so blatant, i feel like i have to point it out, lol.

If I were "natural" and content with my hair, I wouldn't always feel the need to put down others hair.

@ 3 bolded take a look at the taco meat thread....

I wasn't particularly offended in this thread, but I personally don't get the correlation between contentness and getting offended. I'm content with my heritages and races, but if people insult them I get offended.

 

[jennboo]

Of course. Which means I'm entitled to my opinion to disagree.



I find such comments equally offensive and should be addressed at the time the statement is made. It does not make sense, however, to make equally offensive comments and then defend those offensive statements at some later time. Two wrongs; still wrong.

Bolded: Definitely! I agree with you! People frequently disagree with my sentiments about things, i welcome it, bc it leads to discussion, but then people start getting angry/offended.

I am also genuinely curious as to the derogatory statements made about relaxed hair in this thread. Can you point 'em out, copy and paste, give me a post #, something, lol. Just because a person is pro natural hair doesnt mean they think relaxed hair is disgusting. Just like if a person is pro-black doesn't necessarily mean they are anti-everything else. I don't see how a person saying that they prefer the look of their own natural hair as being offensive to relaxed heads.

 

[ceebee3]

Bolded: Definitely! I agree with you! People frequently disagree with my sentiments about things, i welcome it, bc it leads to discussion, but then people start getting angry/offended.

I am also genuinely curious as to the derogatory statements made about relaxed hair in this thread. Can you point 'em out, copy and paste, give me a post #, something, lol. Just because a person is pro natural hair doesnt mean they think relaxed hair is disgusting. Just like if a person is pro-black doesn't necessarily mean they are anti-everything else. I don't see how a person saying that they prefer the look of their own natural hair as being offensive to relaxed heads.

People are offended very easily, sometimes it's clear why they are offended but other times, I just don't get it.

 

[sheba1]

I'm not pro natural or pro relaxed; I just like hair. So I'm just pro hair. I've frequently stated in recent posts the statement that inspired my comment.

 

[vkb247]

I don't think people are necessarily implying what you think they are and if a few have than please refer to these posts directly. Because I think that the general tone of this thread has been positive. People are answering the question based on their experiences and that just is what it is.

 

[Chanteuse]

Bolded: Definitely! I agree with you! People frequently disagree with my sentiments about things, i welcome it, bc it leads to discussion, but then people start getting angry/offended.

I am also genuinely curious as to the derogatory statements made about relaxed hair in this thread. Can you point 'em out, copy and paste, give me a post #, something, lol. Just because a person is pro natural hair doesnt mean they think relaxed hair is disgusting. Just like if a person is pro-black doesn't necessarily mean they are anti-everything else. I don't see how a person saying that they prefer the look of their own natural hair as being offensive to relaxed heads.

Here's one. It's subtle but the implication is clear.

BlackMasterPiece, thank the lord that your hair does not indeed look relaxed, as you'd loose that gorgeous thick and full look!!!

I love your hair!!!

 

[sheba1]

I don't think people are necessarily implying what you think they are and if a few have than please refer to these posts directly. Because I think that the general tone of this thread has been positive. People are answering the question based on their experiences and that just is what it is.

Hey there Vkb247,

My initial comment was specifically pointed to this quote:

1) LOL @ people getting upset about others' opinions about the look of straightened natural hair and relaxed hair. If someone has observed and if it is their opinion that pressed natural hair does indeed look different (healthier, shinier, whatever) than relaxed hair, what is the problem? The OP posed a question and folks are responding to it. These are strangers opinions.... let. it. go.

2) @ the folks getting offended, I tend to think this is because these people are not all the way comfortable with their decision to rock chemically altered hair. They know the real issues surrounding the practice, but don't want to deal with it because they gotta still look 'fly' (for their jobs, men, whatever). Again, if you aren't offended, this statement is not in reference to you.

And it's not like this is a natural vs relaxed debate because I'm natural, too. I just don't think this should have been said. So when it was quoted and e-high fived and stated to "say it again"... I simply replied stating that it should not be said again.

Which seems to have sparked a spin off debate. Again, my primary issue is specific to this statement.

It matters not that it was said, I only wanted to go on record stating that I think it is wrong.

 

[vkb247]

I will give you that one Chanteuse.

But to you and Sheba, I was actually wondering about the posts made before the debate began when people first started to get offended. I think that most people aren't seeing it your way because most were simply answering with their opinions.