Yeah, I know you are right. Sometimes I feel bad for not liking or being attracted to the good guy but the guy which may not be best for me. I mean, I try to see if something is there but these good, celibate guys don't attract me. I don't know what it is cause the non-celibate ones are the ones I am attracted to and that is where the problem lies with most Christian men ....
and women
Please pray for me.
I just feel you and feel for you. What you wrote reminded me of something I wrote a little bit ago on the Relationship Forum about re-representing men. In short, when a man proves his unworthiness (becoming your ex in that instance) no longer think of him as "good" or that attractive potential mate but think of him as what he is. To that end, an ex-boyfriend lost the privaldedges of having his name and was renamed 'Mr. Phlegm'. Everytime I think of him, I think of phlegm, so no I didn't ever want him back.
After deciding I wanted to only eat healthy I re-represented all the fast food places along the street. Whenever I saw the golden arches I would think of vomit and for 4 years I haven't been able to eat there.
Re-representing things that look good to us is something God has told us to do. He has said, there is a way that seems right (looks good) unto man, but it's end is death. He has told us to look by His Word which is what messed up Adam and Eve. Eve saw the fruit and it looked good, therefore she ate it. She didn't look at the fruit and say, "oh that is gross b/c God says so". When we don't re-represent what our eyes see to align with God's Word, then life becomes more difficult.
All this to say, immediately after reading your response here I thought of this passage where a young man doesn't re-represent in his mind this woman in Proverbs 7.
6 At the window of my house
I looked out through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple,
I noticed among the young men,
a youth who lacked judgment.
8 He was going down the street near her corner,
walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading,
as the dark of night set in.
10 Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him
and with a brazen face she said:
14 "I have fellowship offerings at home;
today I fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you;
I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed
with colored linens from Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let's drink deep of love till morning;
let's enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money
and will not be home till full moon."
21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose
23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.
24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
her slain are a mighty throng. 27
Her house is a highway to the grave,
leading down to the chambers of death.
All this young man saw was beauty, perfumed sheets, etc. He did not see what she really was, death. Perhaps if you can re-represent these guys you meet that are attractive on the outside, fun, enticing etc. and think of them as 'death' it can be helpful. You might even try putting a picture of death on them like thinking about nasty cancerous growths, or fully blown AIDS side effects or just a lump of nasty dead poo.
I too have prayed for you. Stay strong!
erplexed
I think that's more aptly named "desperation" and it's up a river in Egypt called....De Nile. I don't know why Black women are continually expected to settle.
