Can I get some advice about managing my natural hair?

[anon123]

Okay, can I ask the folks on this board for some advice specifically for me? So selfish, I know. But every time I do one of the "right" things for my hair to alleviate a problem, it just introduces another problem. I keep trying different permutations in my routine hoping for success, but I never seem to get it right.

For example, this washing the hair in sections thing. I have a couple of problems from washing in sections. Or more accurately, from washing and letting it dry in sections. But what else can I do because I can't let my hair dry loose? See, I've been detangling before washing. Then I put my hair in twists and wash like that. But that makes for 2 problems for me: 1) all the bits of tiny lint can't get out of my hair. the very mechanism that keeps my hair from getting tangled because it doesn't allow it to move around is the same thing that keeps stuff from properly getting washed out; 2) is really more a result of letting the hair dry in those sections. My hair really holds its shape. I can keep the world's most defined twistout for a week with no product at all. This means that when my hair dries in a position, it is stuck in that position until it is re-wet. So when I dry my hair in big twists, they do not want to take any shape other than a chunky twist out. And even that doesn't look good because my hair was combed before it was washed and not after and my twistout doesn't look good like that. It looks hard and crinkly with some parts shrunk up more than others and not soft and fluffy. Trust me, whatever moisturizer or oil or whatever I add, those twists will be hard as rocks once they dry (I've tried almost all the "miracle" products). And I can't manipulate it easily after that, even to get it into a decent puff. The roots will be sooo puffy. I can't do anything except a (ugly) chunky twistout, put into twists or a really puffy-root bun without somehow combing through my hair dry. Washing in braids make this situation even worse.

picture of dried wash sections:



Puffy root bun:


If I try detangling after I wash, there's another problem. I like to detangling my hair with lots of product on it. I've recently been using an egg + condish + oil mixture, but next time I'm going to try one of those big tubs of cholesterol. Anyway, once I've put all that stuff on my hair to detangle, I can't just leave it there. It's too much. I have to wash it out. And then it's back to the problem I talked about in the previous paragraph of how to wash, the whole sections thing and drying into hard giant crinkle twists. I can make it look better by combing it after drying, but I'm trying to comb less. Combing really breaks my hair off, and I feel pretty strongly that it is not because I'm not using the right miracle product, as I've tried both miracle moisturizers and I've even done some protein (Aveda and the eggs,too). My hair is just naturally of a fragile type.

I've been natural for about 12 years now. Before I found the hair boards, my "routine" was simple. I washed and conditioned weekly, with my hair loose, got out the shower, added a little oil or lotion to my hair sometimes (and sometimes not), and detangled with my afro pick, which is what I still use. Then put in a puff to dry or blow dry lightly until dry or almost dry and put in a puff. That's basically it, except some times I would do twists. If it looked bad, I wore a hat. But this was not helping me retain length, so that the longest I got in all that time was, I guess (because I never measured it or pulled it and did a length shot), near bsl. I used to not care about length, but now I want to grow my hair out. So I'm trying to do the "right" things but they are making my life more difficult! Any advice for me?

 

[Candycane044]

I'm going to try to tackle this the best way I can, but I'm kind of new at dealing with my natural hair.

What I do is put my hair in sections then take them down one by one during the wash. I detangle my hair while I'm washing section by section. I twist the hair back up after I detangle and then get out of the shower. Depending on the style I want, depends on the next step. Since I've been wearing my hair in a smoothed lower puff, I take the twists down, put a moisturizer on, put my hair in the puff and tie a satin scarf around it. Usually with the puff part, I'll put that in small twists so it's crinkly when I take the scarf off. That is all. I hope that helps a little I'm sure more ladies will come in with some tips as well.

I think the most important thing is to comb your hair ONLY when it is wet. The satin scarf comes in handy if you don't want your roots to be puffy.

 

[Nonie]

I have some nerve trying to give advice to you when my hair is nowhere near the length you have. But what I have found working for me--although I'm always in braids or twists--is using less products. To be more precise, using no leave-ins at all when in braids and twists...and using SCurl when wearing hair combed out. Otherwise, the more I've tried all the products everyone raves about, the more I have had some of the problems you describe. Most of all, my hair just curls back on itself so tightly that it could make a nice doormat on a muddy day.

When I wore twists, I'd wash my hair in the twists and DC or just condition in the twists and end the wash with a dunk in ACV solution. The result would be soft smooth strands that you can't help wanting to play with. If I undo the twists, the hair separates with such ease that I thank the heavens that no product is gluing the strands together. I was trying to take pics for someone who wanted to see what I was describing but my Webcam is the first edition ever invented LOL so it takes such lousy pics that I don't think I captured it well, but I'll post a pic anyway. I find that not using leave ins (I wash or condition-wash often as my way of keeping it moisturized) makes not using a comb possible. This is why I can go for days using fingers only, never a comb, to undo, detangle and then re-braid or re-twist my hair.

Here's what my hair looks like when I undo my fringe/bangs (currently braids w/o extensions) using my fingers. Hair is untangled and strands separate with ease:

And this is my hair out of braid extensions (notice no matting at the base and no need to comb):

My twist-out w/o products looks like how you describe yours, but the hair is not stuck together. If I wanted to separate the strands, I can. And that again is why I didn't use a comb for months when I was wearing twists. I'd wear a twist-out and then separate strands at the end of the day using fingers and re-twist. After all hair was twisted, I'd immediately dunk my head in a solution of ACV and let it drip dry because I wanted the twists to hang straight down. Maybe the ACV solution has a lot to do with the strands separating easily, but I do know that leave-ins just make my hair impossible to deal with by making the strands stick together, curl back on themselves very tightly, and just feel really messy. And while the kind that stay moist/wet like SCurl spray do keep it feeling soft, albeit icky LOL, other products feel soft on application and then my hair dries up hard (oils and shea butter). I don't know if this no-product regimen is easy to pull off when you're not used to it, but I think AFashionSlave tried it and she has hair worth talking about. So maybe drop her a PM and find out how she transitioned to no-products, if you should decide to try it. A friend of mine tried it on a section of her hair and hated it , so don't feel bad if this isn't your cup of tea.

ETA Also, using no products has meant less lint in my hair. I have cats so I do keep my hair tied or under a plastic cup if I plan on rolling about with them. But because I don't have any "glue" in my hair, I can just use a lint roller to remove cat hair from my own, should my fluffy babies leave bits of themselves in my hair.

 

[anon123]

Thank you for the advice, CandyCane! As for the scarf trick, that picture I posted is after having done it with gel and a silk scarf. It will help with the fuzz for a little while, but it can't make the roots non-puffy.

I guess I didn't mention all the methods I've tried since the post was getting kind of long. I did try the method of detangling while in the shower with conditioner. But there were two problems with this. Well, one problem which then lead to another problem. It takes me a long time to detangle my hair. To do a proper job, it takes at least 1 hour and can take up to 2 hours. At the end of this my hair still will not be as detangled as others, because I still can not get a comb through it and it still has knots, but I usually give up after all this time. This means that I can't really detangle in the shower because my showers would be longer than an hour. Therefore when I detangle in the shower I do a half@$$ job and leave tons of tangles and knots in. This is okay for a week or two, but after that the number of tangles and knots gets really out of control.

I don't mean to dismiss your advice; I do really appreciate the suggestion. Just saying that I tried those things and they don't work well for me.

I did get a PM that suggested, after washing, to put the hair in several small ponytails made with scrunchies tight at the root and lying in the direction I want the hair to go for a puff or bun. I will definitely try that for next time.

I also agree that I should not be combing my hair dry. And believe me, I don't want to. I am very tender-headed. But it's so hard to avoid and still have it look good unless it's tied down in twists or something. Because even though I detangle with stuff on my hair, as soon as I wet my hair again to rinse the stuff out, my hair naps back up so it always looks uncombed and scraggly.

 

[Candycane044]

Aww, it's okay! I'm not offended at all! I just want you to be able to find a method that works. I know some women try the banded method to dry their hair, have you tried this? I'm not really familiar with this method because my hair isn't long enough yet.

As far as detangling, I'm not really sure? Since it takes too long in the shower, maybe you can spritz your hair until it's soaking wet with water and detangle section at a time. This way your showers won't be hours long.

 

[anon123]

Thank you for the advice, Nonie! Hmm, no-product routine. I think I was unwittingly on that routine for 10 years, hahaha. Before the hair boards, I had a bottle of pink lotion. That's it. And I often didn't even put that on. Sometimes I put on body lotion. Sometimes nothing. The hair boards really convinced me that I needed products, and how could I not believe it? After being natural for so long, my hair was not very long so I must have been doing something wrong.

Actually, for twists, I completely agree. If I want to wear my hair in twists all the time, I have no problems. I'm good with just a little coconut oil for sheen. Maybe that's my only real option. To be on the safe side, I have a one-wash maximum for hair in twists. After that they start to mat up (though someone else advised me not to even wash the twists loose, to braid them up and wash and let them dry in the braids. but i hate the hard crinkly look that gives). So I can twist my hair, wear it for a week, wash the hair in twists, do a twistout the next day and wear that for a week. Then I can detangle with goop, wash my hair loose, and put back in twists. Definitely true that if I wear twists all the time, I will reduce my problems by 80%. I just don't like twists well enough to wear them all the time. To do a good set takes many hours, otherwise for big twists the back of my head ends up looking like this:



So I was hoping for another alternative. But yes, you are absolutely right that staying in twists reduces the problems.

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

I think you need to search for a good leave in/detangler that wont leave your hair yucky and in need of a wash and will assist in styling. I use a leave in to detangle my hair after I wash it most times. Then you could retwist or braid. If you not in the mood for twists, try some other styles but you may be asking for trouble (Ex. I cant do puffs... that = gobs of hair in my comb)

 

[SparklingFlame]

Hey girl!!

Maybe you should try this: Wash your hair loose to get out all the lint and other things out of your hair. Now heres the lifesaver. A Denman brush. Yes this brush is a MUST HAVE! After your hair is washed and cond you just detangle with this brush in sections or however you like to and I promise it wont take forever to do it. It will not tear out your hair either. If you leave a lil bit of the cond on your hair the brush will just glide thru it. Trust me. Afterward put whatever leave-in and oils on your hair that you like and do twists, braids, pony puff, ect...This sounds simple and it is but it worked for me. I hope you find a solution that works!!!

 

[anon123]

Aww, it's okay! I'm not offended at all! I just want you to be able to find a method that works. I know some women try the banded method to dry their hair, have you tried this? I'm not really familiar with this method because my hair isn't long enough yet.

As far as detangling, I'm not really sure? Since it takes too long in the shower, maybe you can spritz your hair until it's soaking wet with water and detangle section at a time. This way your showers won't be hours long.

For the detangling, the way you suggested is what I do now. Well, I don't spritz, I just pile on the goop, detangle, and then wash out.

Actually, banding does work. If I'm willing to put in the time for many small bands. At least 15-20. Big ones are not very effective. Good suggestion, I'm going to try that again next wash. I'll have to change up the routine as I can't do the gobs of goop detangling method this way because I won't be able to rinse out the goop with my hair all banded. In fact, I was going to put a tutorial in my fotki on this, on how to not have to comb your hair. First you finger detangle (which takes me, sadly, longer than detangling by comb). Then you put the hair in a lot of bands. Then you wash and wait until almost dry. Then you take the bands out and with your fingers coated in oil separate the hairs from each other. it works well, just that the whole process takes, hmm, around 3 hours, not counting drying time or styling time. But the result gives me hair that is very easy to work with:

Washing with this:


Gives me this:


@Beautifulisaunderstatement, thank you. I doubt there is any product, though, that's going to help much in the detangling area without me having to put a lot on. I can do detangle with a leave-in, of course, but it generally results in me just ripping through my hair and cutting out knots. But what you say is what lots of others say. I just hate to accept the idea that I have to wear my hair in twists all the time. I get so frustrated with everyone saying this hair is versatile and easy and then saying that I have to do 4 hour twisting sessions and this is all I can do w/o my hair causing problems. That's neither easy nor versatile. But maybe for natural hair like mine, it's true.


Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. I appreciate them.

 

[Guapa1]

Mwedzi we are ----><----

I thought I had found the answer to my washing problems. I detangled, washed in braids and let them airdry.

Then when I was doing my microtwists last week I found so much lint in my hair and some of my hair was fused together too. I was not impressed, so this is how I've decided to tweak it when I take my twists out.

I'm going to do still detangle first, braid up and wash in braids, but I'm going to take the braids out while in the shower and run my denman through and then rebraid. My hair should still be detangled, but the denman will get rid of anything that needs to come out.

That is taking the best of both my washing regimes and putting them together. Yes it's going to take longer than just washing in braids, but there's no point washing in braids if it's not getting cleaned properly.

 

[anon123]

Hey girl!!

Maybe you should try this: Wash your hair loose to get out all the lint and other things out of your hair. Now heres the lifesaver. A Denman brush. Yes this brush is a MUST HAVE! After your hair is washed and cond you just detangle with this brush in sections or however you like to and I promise it wont take forever to do it. It will not tear out your hair either. If you leave a lil bit of the cond on your hair the brush will just glide thru it. Trust me. Afterward put whatever leave-in and oils on your hair that you like and do twists, braids, pony puff, ect...This sounds simple and it is but it worked for me. I hope you find a solution that works!!!

Thanks, StillALady. It was raves for the Denman like yours that made me buy that brush though I had not brushed my hair more than 5 times in a decade. But a no-go for me. I cannot detangle my hair with the Denman. I have tried many times. I have the D3, I think. A brush cannot go through my hair, I absolutely promise you. I can hardly get the 1 row of teeth of a comb through, but the 7 rows of teeth on that brush? I can barely get the brush through my hair even after I've detangled already with a comb and when my hair is still covered in my detangling goop. It hurts terribly otherwise and pulls my hair out. Maybe there's some special trick or something that I'm not doing, but as I try to learn what that trick is, I'm making myself bald. I made a video, actually, of me trying to brush with that brush (also one of me detangling with my pick) but it was too large to upload to Photobucket. If I can find it, I'll put it on YouTube so you can see what I mean.

Ah, this is my fault for even asking. I know that my hair just is what it is. But every now and then I think there must be some way my hair can be easy, quick, versatile, and pain-free and I start to hope again. So I ask thinking maybe there's just something I'm missing, and I get some really great suggestions that work for most people but which I've tried and either they don't work for me or take me hours to do.

My hair is the locking kind.

 

[JustKiya]

Oooh, I'll come back to this one...

 

[LynnieB]

mwedzi here's something else i thought about; are you using any silicone based products? i don't mean serums or products heavy in cones but how about a conditioner or leave-in with some milder cones or the cone is far down the list of the ingredients.

cones don't aways = bad it's just you're going to have to watch out for signs of build up and act accordingly.

really, cones do assist in smoothing hair and giving it slip - it can also help with crunchy/stiff hair syndrome.

 

[Guapa1]

I had no joy with the denman at all when I first used it. Then AuNappturale schooled me. You only use the denman AFTER you've detangled. It's not what you use to detangle, it's what you use to get the shed hair out. The sections have to be small. That made such a difference.

 

[JustKiya]

Ooohwee, I suspect this is gonna be LONG. I condensed your posts, Mwedzi.....

I can't let my hair dry loose. I've been detangling before washing.
Probelms
1) all the bits of tiny lint can't get out of my hair. the very mechanism that keeps my hair from getting tangled because it doesn't allow it to move around is the same thing that keeps stuff from properly getting washed out;
2) when my hair dries in a position, it is stuck in that position until it is re-wet.

If I try detangling after I wash, there's another problem. I like to detangling my hair with lots of product on it & I have to wash it out.

I can't really detangle in the shower because my showers would be longer than an hour. Therefore when I detangle in the shower I do a half@$$ job and leave tons of tangles and knots in.

This is okay for a week or two, but after that the number of tangles and knots gets really out of control.

Staying in twists reduces the problems

Actually, banding does work.
finger detangle
put the hair in a lot of bands.
wash and wait until almost dry.
take the bands out and with your fingers coated in oil separate the hairs from each other.

Okay.
First, which ‘miracle’ products have you used? It sounds like the root issue is that your hair stays in the same shape it’s in once it’s dry that it dried in - if you had something that gave your hair ‘moist’ flexibility when dry, that might help - A LOT.

What sort of deep conditioners do you use?
What sort of moisturizers?
What is your leave-in?
How often do you DC?
When’s the last time you clarified?
When’s the last time you balanced the pH of your hair?
Do you have hard water?

I’ve found that the more moisturized my hair is, the worse my twistouts are because the hair ‘falls’ apart from each other - and that sounds like what you need/want your hair to do.

Why can’t you band in larger sections? Have you tried washing your hair, getting out of the shower, soaking your head in conditioner/slip agent, detangling fully, and banding as you detangle each section.

Get back in the shower, unband one section, rinse, reband, and so forth over your whole head - even cutting it down to 8-12 bands would make that easier - and then letting your hair dry in the bands?

Instead of doing multiple small bands, could you use a ribbon? Kind of like the ‘yarn twists’ on hair, but instead a ribbon wrapped around the hair, stretching it out? Attach an elastic to one end, secure that around the root of your hair, wind the ribbon all the way to the end, have another elastic there to secure it to the end of the hair?

How often do you wear your hair loose? When is it getting the chance to tangle? Are you sure that you are getting all of the shed hairs out? If you aren't fully detangling it, each time you detangle, it'll actually get harder to do......

 

[anon123]

I had no joy with the denman at all when I first used it. Then AuNappturale schooled me. You only use the denman AFTER you've detangled. It's not what you use to detangle, it's what you use to get the shed hair out. The sections have to be small. That made such a difference.

How small? I really want this brush to work for me, but every time I try I pull my hair out so I'm scared to try again. Like, what fraction of your head do you do each time? I had been doing about 1/15 of my head each section. does that sound too big?

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I'm no expert here, but have you tried "shingling" your hair. After you've washed and detangled your hair, have you tried taking small sections at a time and applying products so that all of your hair has product on it? As my hair got longer, I was having a problem with the products getting through to all of my hair. So after I cowash, with 6 braids, and detangle, I will take a braid down, take small section of that braid and apply a little leave in and product, then rebraid and do the rest, now all of my hair is moisturized with product and it's easier for me to style. Just a suggestion .

 

[anon123]

Kiya, thank you! I am not finished answering your questions but I have to get into the office and don't want to lose all I've typed. I'll come back and finish it up.

Okay, I'm back and finishing it up!

Ooohwee, I suspect this is gonna be LONG. I condensed your posts, Mwedzi.....



Okay.
First, which ‘miracle’ products have you used?

I'll answer this in the specific product type section you have below

It sounds like the root issue is that your hair stays in the same shape it’s in once it’s dry that it dried in - if you had something that gave your hair ‘moist’ flexibility when dry, that might help - A LOT.

I agree, but have never been able to find this product. My hair does not accept products. I don't know how else to explain.

What sort of deep conditioners do you use?

Well, I'm not sure what counts as a "deep" conditioner. Depending on who you ask, it can be a regular mix just left on for a long time or it must be something labeled as a "deep" conditioner. For the former type, I guess I deep condition every time I wash because I put the mix on and it takes so long for me to detangle that the mix ends up staying on for at least an hour. These mixes have included regular conditioner, regular conditioner + EVOO, regular conditioner + EVOO + honey, regular conditioner + egg + coconut oil, regular conditioner + egg + castor oil, also some mix I made with full fat yogurt. Under "regular conditioner" I have tried: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa, Herbal Essences Totally Twisted, MyHoneyChild HoneyNutt Conditioner, Suave Biobasics (the one that's supposed to be like Biolage), V05 Moisture Milk, and whatever other stuff I can't think of right now.

In terms of something that's labeled for deep conditioning, I've only tried the Karen's Body Beautiful deep conditioner and the Neutrogena Triple Moisture Hair Mask. The Neutrogena + eggs + coconut oil so far is my favorite detangler.

What sort of moisturizers?
What is your leave-in?

What's the difference between moisturizers and leave-ins? I don't know the difference, so I'll just say which ones of these I've tried. I've tried: Dark and Lovely Almond Oil Mist (or whatever it's called), Oyin's Juices and Berries, their Honey Hemp Conditioner, and their Whipped Pudding, Qhemet's Heavy Cream and their Olive Conditioner and Detangler, Kinky-Curly's Knot Today, I've tried pure forms of coconut oil, olive oil, and castor oil, mixes of these oils with shea butter and/or glycerin, vatika oil, some jherri curl juice, Karen's Body Beutiful Hair Milk, Neutrogena Triple Moisture creme leave in, Sta-sof Fro, ORS Olive Oil, and I'm sure some others I'm not remembering now.

How often do you DC?

see answer to first question. i've only tried doing it with a micro heat cap twice, two weeks in a row (i generally wash once a week). Didn't notice any difference

When’s the last time you clarified?

I'm not sure, but I've probably used baking soda on my hair 3 times in the last 4-5 months, I guess. I also use real shampoo sometimes. With baking soda without using real shampoo, I don't notice any difference. It can't get rid of gunk. I'll still have a white film on my scalp. So I use real shampoo as that seems to be better at getting stuff out.

When’s the last time you balanced the pH of your hair?

I don't know how I would do that? How would I know it's out of balance? Isn't hair normally not a balanced pH? I have done ACV rinses. I don't notice any difference. Baking soda and ACV don't seem to make any difference to my hair.

Do you have hard water?

Probably. I was reading up on it, says 85% of the country has hard water and definitely in my area. I even bought a shower filter hoping it would help, but I live in a very old building and my shower head was not compatible with the filter type. (btw, anybody wanna buy a new shower filter? they wouldn't take it back. )

I’ve found that the more moisturized my hair is, the worse my twistouts are because the hair ‘falls’ apart from each other - and that sounds like what you need/want your hair to do.

Yes, it is. But I can never get my hair that moisturized unless it's wet. It's not for want of trying, as you can tell by all the money I've spent (wasted?) on all those products that people promised would be the miracle answer for me. But once my hair dries, it is always the same.

Why can’t you band in larger sections?

I don't know, they just don't work as well. I tried it and they are not as effective at keeping the tangles away. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. My hair is not very long, and it is really thick and puffy, though, so it's hard to get a tight band on a large chunk of hair. Maybe that's why?

Have you tried washing your hair, getting out of the shower, soaking your head in conditioner/slip agent, detangling fully, and banding as you detangle each section.

No, but I've tried this all except for the banding part. Just replace "banding" with "twisting up" and that's what I've done.

Get back in the shower, unband one section, rinse, reband, and so forth over your whole head - even cutting it down to 8-12 bands would make that easier - and then letting your hair dry in the bands?

Instead of doing multiple small bands, could you use a ribbon? Kind of like the ‘yarn twists’ on hair, but instead a ribbon wrapped around the hair, stretching it out? Attach an elastic to one end, secure that around the root of your hair, wind the ribbon all the way to the end, have another elastic there to secure it to the end of the hair?

I did want to try banding with a piece of yarn. I will try it at some point soon and let you know how it goes. thanks for reminding me about that! maybe I can even do smaller sections that way. those tiny holders didn't work well, anyway, as I ended up with multi-colored fluff bits throughout my hair.

How often do you wear your hair loose? When is it getting the chance to tangle? Are you sure that you are getting all of the shed hairs out? If you aren't fully detangling it, each time you detangle, it'll actually get harder to do......

If by "loose" you mean not twisted or braided, a lot. This is the problem. Like I said in reply to someone else's post, if I wore my hair in twists all the time, it would be a lot easier. I just don't want to wear my hair in twists all the time. They take a long time to do. I prefer a simple puff. But maybe I have no choice. But then again, I took my bun down to moisturize and redo and I found knots. I was like, wth, I put you into a bun directly after detangling, no fair. And I'm pretty sure I'm not getting 100% of the shed hair out. But with my detangling sessions these days consistently stretching to two hours, I just give up. 2 hours detangling + however much time for washing and conditioning and deep conditioning and clarifying + 3 hours of styling = hair that in no one's imagination can be called "easy".

It's okay, I guess I could give it all up if there was a consensus that this hair is not both easy and versatile, then I could just be like "okay, it is what it is." But with everyone saying how easy and versatile it is, I stay on the quest to make my hair, in fact, easy and versatile. And it ain't working.

 

[Twisties]

Hi mwedzi

Your hair is absolutely gorgeous to me. I like all of the pics you posted.

Also, your situation seems very similar to what I experienced with my neice's hair. Her hair resembles yours and the description of how it behaves is the same...oils have helped her alot, but i know everyone does not respond the same.

Have you tried using natural oils after styling? Almond, Grapeseed, etc?

After I wash and condition her (I use Biolage Ultra Hydrating for Coarse, Thick, Unruly hair (ha ha that's how they labeled it), I have been spraying her hair with sweet almond oil (I put it in a regular spray bottle) and just squirt through her hair 2x's a week and massage her scalp (while still in the style). That is all I use the remaining time until her next wash. (I use NOW Almond Oil). I also stopped styling her hair while wet...

When I am ready to do her next wash, 2-days before I increase the amount of oil and I saturate her hair at nite, especially the ends with the oil and do a massage. This has helped so much with "tender-headedness" (is that a word ?) and there are nowhere near as much tangles. There is no buildup or lint like it used to be with water-based spray detanglers... her hair is in much better condition. I would say tangles have been reduced about 85%....

 

[anon123]

Hi mwedzi

Your hair is absolutely gorgeous to me. I like all of the pics you posted.

Also, your situation seems very similar to what I experienced with my neice's hair. Her hair resembles yours and the description of how it behaves is the same...oils have helped her alot, but i know everyone does not respond the same.

Have you tried using natural oils after styling? Almond, Grapeseed, etc?

After I wash and condition her (I use Biolage Ultra Hydrating for Coarse, Thick, Unruly hair (ha ha that's how they labeled it), I have been spraying her hair with sweet almond oil (I put it in a regular spray bottle) and just squirt through her hair 2x's a week and massage her scalp (while still in the style). That is all I use the remaining time until her next wash. (I use NOW Almond Oil). I also stopped styling her hair while wet...

When I am ready to do her next wash, 2-days before I increase the amount of oil and I saturate her hair at nite, especially the ends with the oil and do a massage. This has helped so much with "tender-headedness" (is that a word ?) and there are nowhere near as much tangles. There is no buildup or lint like it used to be with water-based spray detanglers... her hair is in much better condition. I would say tangles have been reduced about 85%....

Thank you, Twisties. Okay, so for your niece you have abandoned water-based products in favor of oil products? This is what someone recommended to me. Well, no water-based products on loose hair, only applied to twists. On loose hair you could only use oils. Their method was to never have wet and loose hair at the same time. I tried this for a month and was successful but I still got lint. I think if I can resign myself to wearing twists all the time, I could do her method and not have to comb. I avoided a comb for 4-5 weeks like that and I had few tangles. It was just the lint, I had to wash loose to get it out. But I could start over again after each new wash.

I have not tried those particular oils you mention. I have only tried castor, coconut, and olive.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I will try a few more of the variations on routines you have suggested and let you know how it turns out! Thank you!

 

[naturalgurl]

Woooo girl. Couldn't read through all of those posts. So if I repeat something forgive me. First of all, nothing softens, conditions or detangles like natural stuff. I use nothing but natural in my hair. NO PRODUCTS. I have 4a/b hair and I NEVER experience knots or tangles like I read about on different forums. Take a look around in my fotki because it's too much to type here. I tried the washing while hair is sectioned...PLEASE! I do plait my hair in fours and let it dry with no tangles or stiff hair. I don't use any shampoo, my condishes consist of (protein) egg whites with natural yogurt and (moisturizing) honey with EVOO. I'm telling you girl, no dry stiff hair here and again I'm a 4a/b.

 

[Crown]

My 2 cents:
Principle: don't let your natural hair loose and wet at the same time for untangled hair AND detangle wet hair after wash for smooth dry hair.
1a.Wash your hair loose
detangle with your fingers under running water and braid or twist in 4 (or more) sections under running water.
Finish your shower (you are in braids or twists)
or
1b.Before washing, part your hair, add conditioner or DC and detangle with your fingers, braid or twist in 4 sections (4 braids), in the tub undo one braid at a time and wash and rebraid.
Finish your shower (you are in braids or twists)
or
1c. It is 1b but with more braids. Wash in braids, don’t undo your braids.
Finish your shower (you are in braids or twists)

2. After shower: Undo one braid/twist, divide it (hold the non divided part with a ponytail or a clip), spray cold distilled or filtered water on the little section, add moisturizer :leave-in or cream or grease (oil or butter or whatever is best for you), detangle with comb, braid or twist or band.
(roller set and air dry your braids or twists for smoother and longer hair)
Try the little ponytails method and roller set if you want smooth hair (smooth roots and lenght and ends), you can also make ponytails and roller set without braid/twist for a different look.
No comb for detangling until next wash day.
Keep it simple with products. Avoid cones.
Blessings!

 

[cutenappygrl]

have you ever tried using castor oil - it always makes my hair softer and more pliable - I would just rewet and apply it and restyle my braid/twist out.

 

[naturalgurl]

have you ever tried using castor oil - it always makes my hair softer and more pliable - I would just rewet and apply it and restyle my braid/twist out.

That's some good advice! Castor oil is a staple in my regimen and it's wonderful. I guess that might be one of the reasons I don't experience tangles and knots. I also saturate my hair in aloe. I rarely deal with it dry. If it's "dry" as in not wet, I soak it in something before I start messing with it. Don't ever mess with it crackly dry...ever.

 

[ladylibra]

i'm confused as to why you're using something with egg in it to detangle your hair? egg is protein. detangling with protein would be hell on my hair...

(maybe i'm missing something...)

 

[CocoGlow]

Mwedzi, since we consider ourselves hair SISTERS, almost Hair TWINS, I do not have any suggestions but I am definitely feeling your pain and going through the same exact problems w/ finding a suitable routine + products or ingredients for my hair!

This is part of the reason why I have worn individual braids & twists all Winter but I am determined to figure out how people w/ our texture can rock "out" styles successfuly and keep our hair moisturized and not break down in tears from hours-long detangle sessions that result in massive hair loss no matter how gentle we are (w/ fingers or combs)!

So I will definitely be taking advice from all of you as well...

Nappywomyn....I am interested in the banding w/ ribbons technique..it seems like it would stretch the hair evenly down to the tips so that when dry you won't have those ripples you get from using 50-11 bands on one section

NaturalGirl ...so you don't wash in sections?.....would you mind posting what you use to cleanse your hair/scalp, how much of each ingredient you use for your deep conditioning treatments and what you use to moisturize your hair?

Crown, I really like how you broke down the different detangle options and I will try each one that I have not tried out already....I also like the drying options, I really am interested in the ponytail rollersets being that I've never done a rollerset and this seems like a logical way to ensure that my texture would come out smooth from root to tip ..is there a thread about this technique somewhere?

Thanks
NappyRina

 

[nurseN98]

mwedzi here's something else i thought about; are you using any silicone based products? i don't mean serums or products heavy in cones but how about a conditioner or leave-in with some milder cones or the cone is far down the list of the ingredients.

cones don't aways = bad it's just you're going to have to watch out for signs of build up and act accordingly.

really, cones do assist in smoothing hair and giving it slip - it can also help with crunchy/stiff hair syndrome.

I agree with this. I used to not use them but some products with silicones like Pantene breakage defense line (either the relaxed & natural or the regular works) have really helped me out. With these i do shampoo weekly though and I clarify once a month or so or my hair gets a little dry. I also agree with using the denman in small sections to remove shed hair after you detangle. The thing is not to rip it through in one stroke, just gently tug it down.

Good luck!

 

[anon123]

Mwedzi, since we consider ourselves hair SISTERS, almost Hair TWINS, I do not have any suggestions but I am definitely feeling your pain and going through the same exact problems w/ finding a suitable routine + products or ingredients for my hair!

This is part of the reason why I have worn individual braids & twists all Winter but I am determined to figure out how people w/ our texture can rock "out" styles successfuly and keep our hair moisturized and not break down in tears from hours-long detangle sessions that result in massive hair loss no matter how gentle we are (w/ fingers or combs)!

Yay, it's 'Rina! I always feel like she knows what I'm talking about. I, like you, wonder how they do it w/o tangles and what not. As soon as you figure it out, run back and tell me! That goes for you, too, Guapa.

Let's see, I will try to answer everyone's questions quickly.

Natural Girl, I will definitely be looking through your fotki. All of the ingredients you suggest I have tried but not in that specific combination. I have definitely tried them all by themselves. I'll try to remember that combo for the future, since I already have all the ingredients. By aloe did you mean aloe vera gel? That's what I have.

NaturalGirl and CuteNappyGirl, yes, I have tried plain castor oil, which actually I really dislike by itself. The texture is really tacky and sticky and it doesn't make my hair any softer than anything else. And it's a very poor detangler all by itself. I did a trial where I put about 9 different products on 9 different sections of hair for detangling, and pure castor oil was near the bottom of the list. It was much better when mixed with coconut oil, though. So though I have tried it alone and mixed with other stuff, I still have almost a full bottle.

LadyLibra, I used it for detangling because it works the best. I stumbled on it when trying to find a protein treatment. There's something about the consistency of the eggs, it's so slippery, so it was so much better than the other stuff I had tried. But I am starting to worry about all the constant protein treatments, so I said to myself that next time I would try one of those giant tubs of cholesterol.

 

[JustKiya]

Products:

I'd suggest trying Elasta QP Intense Fortifying for a conditioner (or are you avoiding parabens?), and the caramel treatment for a DC - it sounds like you'll have all the oils, then some.

The reason I asked about the pH thing, was your comment about your hair 'sticking' together - is it almost 'velcro' like? If so, you might want to try a citric acid rinse - I use that when my hair starts getting 'grabby' with each other, and it seems to tame some of the cling.

After I posted, I realized that even in MY head leave-in = moisturizer, so don't ask why I asked you that twice. I've found that my 'perfect' leave-in is a mix of stuff - have you tried shealoe butter? I'm UTTERLY in love with the stuff - it's SO perfect. I mix that and whipped pudding about half and half, dump some glycerin and a lil bit of conditioner into it, and that's my leave-in for my hair....

Have you tried spritzing? Instead of a full 'soak' giving your hair a good 'mist' every day/twice a day, and seeing if that helps it keep some moisture? I've noticed that it seems to be an on-going thing for my hair - kind of a moisture ramp-up is needed....

Yeah, I know what you mean about wearing your hair loose - I've more or less given up on that even being a possibility for me without requiring a 3-4 hour detangling session until my hair is long enough to be pulled into a single HUGE two strand twist. *sigh* I've got dense hair (and a big head) so I figure I'll be in twists til 2009, at the earliest. *sigh*

 

[Crown]

[quote I really am interested in the ponytail rollersets being that I've never done a rollerset and this seems like a logical way to ensure that my texture would come out smooth from root to tip ..is there a thread about this technique somewhere?

Thanks
NappyRina[/quote]

I suggest you to check the album of Iris for the ponytail roller set.
Isis instead of Iris.