MaryJane3000
New Member
Had a nice long convo with an older friend of mine, I'll summarize because it's a very long story. Basically, she started dating this guy who approached her a month or two after he broke up with his gf of two years. She was skeptical of him so they weren't intimate until they dated for 4 months, and it was an intense four months might I add(like hanging out all the time, movies, and ect) and two months after that he brought her home to meet his mother for the fourth of july. She went on a cruise with her family the following week, turns out while she was gone he had sex with his ex. He did this twice. Over a two month span.
They're both in college at this point and she doesn't know this but she snoops and basically finds out but doesnt want to believe they were actually intimate and believes his story that they just hung out. So they had a rocky first year to say the least because of a lot of mistrust. Then she finds out later on that he was trying to get her to break up with him at one point and was talking to his ex about breaking up with her so they could be together again. He also told his ex, that he wasnt going to do that.
Now after that first year and another rocky year, they finally have a great relationship. Like he treats her with respect and everything is great and shes sure theres no more cheating. And he's even talked about how he wants to marry her. But they had an argument and some of that stuff was brought back up and now she's in a little funk because those feelings of betrayal are coming back up.
So my question is, can a relationship really survive cheating? Like wont that always happen? You'll remember something or something will come up that will bring back those painful memories and cause you to look at that person differently? I read that like 36% of marriages can survive infedelity, but is that really a healthy marriage or will you always have those scars?
They're both in college at this point and she doesn't know this but she snoops and basically finds out but doesnt want to believe they were actually intimate and believes his story that they just hung out. So they had a rocky first year to say the least because of a lot of mistrust. Then she finds out later on that he was trying to get her to break up with him at one point and was talking to his ex about breaking up with her so they could be together again. He also told his ex, that he wasnt going to do that.
Now after that first year and another rocky year, they finally have a great relationship. Like he treats her with respect and everything is great and shes sure theres no more cheating. And he's even talked about how he wants to marry her. But they had an argument and some of that stuff was brought back up and now she's in a little funk because those feelings of betrayal are coming back up.
So my question is, can a relationship really survive cheating? Like wont that always happen? You'll remember something or something will come up that will bring back those painful memories and cause you to look at that person differently? I read that like 36% of marriages can survive infedelity, but is that really a healthy marriage or will you always have those scars?
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