But I'm Not Mixed...oh lawd!

[vestaluv1]

I just had to post this...
OK, so today I was helping my BF's sister take down her braids. Her hair is quite badly damaged/breaking, relaxed, less than ear length. Anyhoo... she wasn't sure what she was going to do with her hair after she took the braids out and said she may relax or wear a weave, but she wants to grow her hair out.

So I suggested getting a treatment before anything and explained how my hair has grown from SL to BSL since last year.

She said... "but I don't have any mix in me..." ...

I said... "neither do I, you know both my parents are from Barbados and their parents are not white or even mixed". BTW, this girl is from the Caribbean too.

She said, in a suprised and confused tone... "yeah, really... so how did you get your hair to grow so long?"

So I told her about my regimen (very simple BTW) AND SHE STILL SAYS:
"I don't think my hair will ever get that long. Our kinda hair don't get that long". I doubt I have convinced her that she can, but I said that anyone can have long hair with some time and care.

Now, I must say, a while back, I had similar views but I think its a shame that so many black women still think long hair is unattainable.

I have said this many a time, but I'm so glad I've found LHCF.

 

[locabouthair]

Sadly there will always be people who will think like this. My own mother told me last week that not everyone is meant to have hair past their shoulders

Your hair has grown so much!

 

[Neith]

That kind of exchange drives me nuts.

Like she STILL doesn't believe that you're fully black even though you just told her so ?

Sometimes I feel that some people need a DNA sample to be satisfied.

It's sad, but I laugh sometimes too.

 

[melissa-bee]

I'd probably think that too if i never found this site. Oh well

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Unfortunately, very little you say or show by example will change many beliefs about requiring 'some mix' to have nice, healthy, long hair. I have been trying for years to convince a few women..but still get the "but your hair is different." No, same hair type 4..just know how {and want} to care for it is all.

 

[BostonMaria]

You can't change her mind. When she's done making excuses maybe her hair will long like yours.

BTW I know tons of mixed women that don't have long, healthy hair. I don't know why people think all mixed people have 3a flowing hair down to their ankles LOL

 

[hiphoprocker]

it sounds like her issue is kinda deep rooted and the only thing that will change her mind is for her to see results in her own head... maybe she can start slow.. and work her way up to a completely new and improved regimen.. my first little change was cowashing.. and even though i didnt see length immediately i saw an increase in the health of my hair immediately..and figured if that works, maybe i can try this DC or this protein treatement.. and i did.. and it worked/is working...or maybe even showing her this site.. show her some of the ladies on here with long hair.. if she wants to actually see it...

if she doesn't wanna try though nothing you say, or any fotkis or albums you show her will motivate her. it does take work and the ability to invest time and funds to find out what works and what doesn't

 

[Sapphire_chic]

aww what a shame..now showing isn't even good enough. maybe she has still taken some of it in...hopefully

 

[vestaluv1]

Unfortunately, very little you say or show by example will change many beliefs about requiring 'some mix' to have nice, healthy, long hair. I have been trying for years to convince a few women..but still get the "but your hair is different." No, same hair type 4..just know how {and want} to care for it is all.

Yeah... I think it makes a difference if you really want to see results.

it sounds like her issue is kinda deep rooted and the only thing that will change her mind is for her to see results in her own head... maybe she can start slow.. and work her way up to a completely new and improved regimen.. my first little change was cowashing.. and even though i didnt see length immediately i saw an increase in the health of my hair immediately..and figured if that works, maybe i can try this DC or this protein treatement.. and i did.. and it worked/is working...or maybe even showing her this site.. show her some of the ladies on here with long hair.. if she wants to actually see it...

if she doesn't wanna try though nothing you say, or any fotkis or albums you show her will motivate her. it does take work and the ability to invest time and funds to find out what works and what doesn't

Yeah, I think I've given her some good advice, but I don't want to push her. It's up to her now.

aww what a shame..now showing isn't even good enough. maybe she has still taken some of it in...hopefully

Hopefully.

 

[WorkInProgress88]

Its hard trying to tell people their hair can grow long when they have their mind's made up that their hair can't grow at all
I experienced this last night when trying to tell my baby cousin about healthy hair techniques

 

[hiphoprocker]

you're is gorgeous though!! she'd be crazy to not wanna try at least some of what you're doing..

 

[isabella09]

I absolutely agree, it’s just excuses and laziness, what’s perplexing to me is that you’re an example she can see with her own eye and yet she chooses to dismiss it because it doesn’t fit her stereotype . The fact is once your mind is open you’re far more receptive to adopting new health hair practises and this can only be to your benefit; the ladies on LHCF are a testament to this. There is plenty of information out on the website should you be receptive enough to receive it. I wish people would stop complaining about not having long hair if you’re not prepared to do the work (research etc) in order to achievement!
OP your hair is absolutely gorgeous

 

[vestaluv1]

I absolutely agree, it’s just excuses and laziness, what’s perplexing to me is that you’re an example she can see with her own eye and yet she chooses to dismiss it because it doesn’t fit her stereotype . The fact is once your mind is open you’re far more receptive to adopting new health hair practises and this can only be to your benefit; the ladies on LHCF are a testament to this. There is plenty of information out on the website should you be receptive enough to receive it. I wish people would stop complaining about not having long hair if you’re not prepared to do the work (research etc) in order to achievement!
OP your hair is absolutely gorgeous

you're is gorgeous though!! she'd be crazy to not wanna try at least some of what you're doing..

Thanks girlz!

 

[vestaluv1]

I forgot to say that she asked if my hair was STILL growing... .

Then I explained the whole retaining length thing.

I guess if she wants any more advice, she'll bring it up.

 

[robot.]

I think it's self-fulfilling prophecy for a lot of women, though. "I can't grow long hair, so why try?" So they don't try and then their hair doesn't grow! It's a vicious, sad cycle.

 

[aquajoyice]

Yeah it is sad, but yet at the very beginning of my journey I didn't think my hair would get any longer than shoulder length either. I remember a specific moment when I was standing in the mirror looking at my broken hair thinking what makes me thing my hair can be long. But I stopped myself frmo thinking negative and kept pushing forward.

 

[Truth]

I say, show her LHCF .. let her lerk some fotki's and see the amount of goregous heads of hair on this site ( including urs..lemme borrow it!) ... and let her draw the conclusion on her own... I thought that my hair would never go past NL.... my bestfriend gave me this site.... and there was NOOOOOOOO turning back...

 

[Bachelorette]

Well, do you intend on helping her out?

That's the real question.

 

[MAMATO]

Where do AA women get that their hair is different than the Carribean women's hair ??? From what I've seen, there aren't any differences. Same race=Same hair=Same issues or benefits

 

[HoneyA]

Your hair has grown so well! Impressive!

 

[Chromia]

Sadly there will always be people who will think like this. My own mother told me last week that not everyone is meant to have hair past their shoulders

Your hair has grown so much!

Your mom sounds just like my former hairstylist. That's what she said (actually she yelled it) to me. "Some hair just doesn't get any longer!"

When my hair was relaxed and only an inch or 2 past my shoulders someone asked me if I was mixed and someone else thought it was a weave. What a shame that they thought a black woman couldn't have hair that length.

I noticed the same thing with youtube videos of black women with long hair - they get comments and messages asking if they're mixed or what they're mixed with. They keep saying they're not mixed but they keep getting those questions.

I used to think that my hair couldn't grow any longer. Before I found this site I used to go to Wanakee's site and look at the pictures of her and other women there. I still though I couldn't grow my hair that long.

After spending time on LHCF and fotki I realized that my hair could grow longer - or rather it could retain more length - with the proper care and patience.

 

[Taina]

I used to think that too, with the time she will learn that it IS possible. God, i just wonder. Do all the ppl that see AA with long and healthy hair thinks is a wig?

 

[Lyoness]

That's the same reason I stop talking hair with ppl, they don't believe I'm not mixed either..

 

[Skiggle]

I just want to say
that your hair is beautiful..

 

[Bun Mistress]

Really, I think healthy hair pratices are universal. I've seen asain women with WL hair that do weekly oil treatments and keep a moisture protein balance.
I think its the rare person that just has long hair and doesn't think or do anything and then the question is it they hair healthy or chewed up?

And yes once you get "long hair" everyone thinks you're mixed. Have some ear lengthed hair, you be black. Why?

 

[andromeda]

Yes, the exchange you described is all too common and frustrating. However, what strikes me is that you admit to having similar views pre-LHCF. I applaud you for this acknowledgment bc empathy is a huge piece of the puzzle, IMO. All too often we get so wrapped in our enlightenment and cringing at others' ignorance that we forget that our own mentalities previous to our HHJs.

I always say, I'm generally an intelligent and inquisitive person, but boy, oh boy, was I ignorant when it came to [my own] black hair. I'm so glad I found LHCF, too! And your hair is beautiful, OP!

So I told her about my regimen (very simple BTW) AND SHE STILL SAYS:
"I don't think my hair will ever get that long. Our kinda hair don't get that long". I doubt I have convinced her that she can, but I said that anyone can have long hair with some time and care.

Now, I must say, a while back, I had similar views but I think its a shame that so many black women still think long hair is unattainable.

I have said this many a time, but I'm so glad I've found LHCF.

 

[FluffyRed]

I always say, I'm generally an intelligent and inquisitive person, but boy, oh boy, was I ignorant when it came to [my own] black hair. I'm so glad I found LHCF, too! And your hair is beautiful, OP!

Me too. AFter a year here, I just started to believe I can be APL, like, in the last two months.

 

[sheba1]

Well Vestaluv, your picture was my first motivator as I started my journey. It didn't even include this last photo where your gorgeous hair is at BSL. I remember I saw that first and second photo side by side and said, "ok, my hair can do this." The turn around in your hair is beyond inspirational and may just open up the possibilities for her? I say show her the pics. If that doesn't do it. Well, then she's just one of the few that Locabouthair's Mom spoke of that isn't "meant" to have long hair. hahaha

 

[vestaluv1]

Well Vestaluv, your picture was my first motivator as I started my journey. It didn't even include this last photo where your gorgeous hair is at BSL. I remember I saw that first and second photo side by side and said, "ok, my hair can do this." The turn around in your hair is beyond inspirational and may just open up the possibilities for her? I say show her the pics. If that doesn't do it. Well, then she's just one of the few that Locabouthair's Mom spoke of that isn't "meant" to have long hair. hahaha

Wow. I'm really glad that my pictures motivated you. Thats the whole point of me taking comparison shot: to motivate myself and others. Happy hair growing.
As far as the giving advice is concerned, she's giving me a bit of attitude when I talk about 'healthy hair practises, etc' so I'm done with that.
My sister on the other hand is a lot more interested and although she is keeping a short cut, she is a lot more open minded and trying more healthy hair practises. (she has also seen the site and photos, etc).

 

[RedVelvet310]

It's THIS kind of thing Chris Rock should have made a movie about! Black women CAN grow long hair. My mother, my sister, my brother, my cousin (who by the way is a straight-A university student) were all non-believers until they saw my progress. Now all the women in my family are on healthy hair care journeys. We need to let go of this false belief, because many of us do not realize how beautiful our hair actually IS if we take care of it (I mean look at the big hair thread going on RIGHT NOW!)