Broke Up With SO..Now He Needs Favors..Should I??

[MizzBrown]

I posted before in my 'SIGNS THAT YOU JUST BROKE UP W/ SO' Thread
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=172949
that one of the signs was that i wonder who is gonna fix his computer. So why did I get an email from him that he needs help with some software??

We haven't spoken in over 30 days and we work at the same job, and if pass him by, I don't speak or really acknowledge him. Why? He was bitter that I broke up it off and thought i was overreacting.

I sent him a friendly email asking how he was doing, that even though we broke up, we can still at least be amicable, and that i hope he was doing okay for the holiday season.

He wrote me back w/ malice in his heart saying not to worry about him, mind my own business and that he was just "vibrant" so i dont need to check on him.

That was 2 weeks ago. So why would he suddenly want me to help him w/ his computer? He already burned the bridge! I can't believe the nerve of him. He better take his laptop to CompUSA and have them check it out!

What would yall do in this situation? Does your EX still call you for favors?

 

[GodivaChocolate]

I'd keep moving...why bring up the past...you can be cordial..say hello on the most generic levels but why even look back. You're not his "miss fix it" because what will happen is that he will keep throwing this guilt trip in your face. You left him for a reason so keep moving forward.

 

[Laginappe]

I posted before in my 'SIGNS THAT YOU JUST BROKE UP W/ SO' Thread
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=172949
that one of the signs was that i wonder who is gonna fix his computer. So why did I get an email from him that he needs help with some software??

We haven't spoken in over 30 days and we work at the same job, and if pass him by, I don't speak or really acknowledge him. Why? He was bitter that I broke up it off and thought i was overreacting.

I sent him a friendly email asking how he was doing, that even though we broke up, we can still at least be amicable, and that i hope he was doing okay for the holiday season.

He wrote me back w/ malice in his heart saying not to worry about him, mind my own business and that he was just "vibrant" so i dont need to check on him.

That was 2 weeks ago. So why would he suddenly want me to help him w/ his computer? He already burned the bridge! I can't believe the nerve of him. He better take his laptop to CompUSA and have them check it out!

What would yall do in this situation? Does your EX still call you for favors?

I think I'd respond with a reminder that I was directed by him to mind my own business. 'Cause he's all "vibrant" and such.

 

[Bublin]

He has probably thought twice about his behaviour towards you and asking you to fix his PC is like an olive branch to say sorry.

If you broke up with him he probably still likes you and was hurting - we can all say silly things when we are hurt.

Hopefully now he has gotten over that feeling and just wants to be friends.

I am still very good friends with an ex (we were together for 8 years) but it took him a long long time to stop loving me in that way and to start seeing me as a friend. We are both good people, just not right for each other.

 

[sonce]

What would yall do in this situation? Does your EX still call you for favors?

With me, if the bridge is burned, that bridge stays burned unless I myself need him for something (in which case it is pure quid pro quo and once the exchange is complete, he's back on permanent ignore). If we ended amicably and are still on amicable terms, and being around him doesn't hurt my heart, then I'll do the dude a favor (depending on what the favor is).

 

[xstacy2]

His computer would still be down.

 

[cocosweet]

He needs to go to Comp USA and cough up the dough. I'm s'pose to help you when you can't even be civil to me? I don't think so, son!

 

[Arcadian]

He needs to go to Comp USA and cough up the dough. I'm s'pose to help you when you can't even be civil to me? I don't think so, son!

agree!!! You owe his ass no favors. He wants help, tell him to go geeksquad it.

-A

 

[Syrah]

I posted before in my 'SIGNS THAT YOU JUST BROKE UP W/ SO' Thread
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=172949
that one of the signs was that i wonder who is gonna fix his computer. So why did I get an email from him that he needs help with some software??

We haven't spoken in over 30 days and we work at the same job, and if pass him by, I don't speak or really acknowledge him. Why? He was bitter that I broke up it off and thought i was overreacting.

I sent him a friendly email asking how he was doing, that even though we broke up, we can still at least be amicable, and that i hope he was doing okay for the holiday season.

He wrote me back w/ malice in his heart saying not to worry about him, mind my own business and that he was just "vibrant" so i dont need to check on him.

That was 2 weeks ago. So why would he suddenly want me to help him w/ his computer? He already burned the bridge! I can't believe the nerve of him. He better take his laptop to CompUSA and have them check it out!

What would yall do in this situation? Does your EX still call you for favors?

If you really want to be broken up and STAY broken up and you know that he still has feelings - it's not going to work. You're only going to hurt and disappoint yourself in the long run.

If ya'll have that type of relationship where you BOTH are clear on where you stand and can take the feelings out if it - I guess it could work out, a few favors here and there.

Keeping in contact with the "ex" can make things difficult if you're not clear on where you stand as individuals. The longer you stick around as a support system, the stickier the situation gets.

 

[*KP*]

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought you meant...you know..."favors" :eyebrows2


Anyway...part of me says ignore him but the part of me that has been in his position says..people are generally angry and/or hurt when someone breaks up with them. The person who ends it knows it is coming and is mentally prepared whereas it comes as a complete shock to the person on the receiving end. Yes, his reaction to your friendly 'how are you' e-mail was uncalled for but that was probably his (poor) way of dealing with the hurt and shock. Him asking for help might be his feeble attempt at rebuilding that bridge after accepting the break-up, men generally have too much pride to ask for help from someone that dumped them.

I think you were on the right track with trying to be on good terms because you work together. I say perhaps don't fix the computer but make polite conversation with him when you next see him to try to keep the amicable thing going.

 

[Tallone]

I wouldn't hold grudges. He probably wasn't ready to be friends when you were. At the same door, I wouldnt' open that door too much.
I would direct him to the nearest geek squad and end the email with "Good Luck"

 

[The Girl]

With me, if the bridge is burned, that bridge stays burned unless I myself need him for something (in which case it is pure quid pro quo and once the exchange is complete, he's back on permanent ignore). If we ended amicably and are still on amicable terms, and being around him doesn't hurt my heart, then I'll do the dude a favor (depending on what the favor is).

ITA...Bump that fool. He just realizing her overreacted or is trying to guage his return. You know some men have a way of acting like nothing ever happened when they mess up....

 

[frizzy]

Find out the hourly rate for computer repair, double that, then let him know how much it will cost him.

 

[MizzBrown]

Find out the hourly rate for computer repair, double that, then let him know how much it will cost him.

UPDATE!

LOLOLat FRIZZY....He actually caught me in the breakroom at work the other day and practically hemmed me up and professed his love for me. *sigh* Then he proceeded to ask what the hell was wrong with his computer and why didnt i answer his email. AND he needed advice for this, that , and the other and proceeded to tell me his life story that occured over the past month. It was so funny, scary, and sweet at the same time.

So I don't know what to believe with him. He seemed like he was gonna spazz out about missing me AND having a broke computer. LOL

He has a 3 yr Warranty on his PC from CompUSA and i told him i wasnt fixin it and don't get paid to do it other than a "Thank You baby, I love you.." and to just take it to the folks that you paid a service for and they will fix it. He's so spoiled w/ me always doing it for him that otherwise he'd be in CompUSA every other day..for simple stuff too.

I was always fixin the damn electronics in his apartment. I didn't realize he got so dependent on me. erplexed

We'll see how this pans out...

 

[KatKronicles]

If you help him, you will place your self in a metaphorical barrel, with your ex, being the transliteral crab.

Dont do that to yourself.

And in all breakups, when a person is wrong, they always always need you before you need them.

If you give it a go, dont beat yourself up about it, honestly I think hes trying to goad you back in to a relationship, so he can rewrite how it ends. Humans are predictable in that.

Keep us posted.

 

[The Girl]

If you help him, you will place your self in a metaphorical barrel, with your ex, being the transliteral crab.

Dont do that to yourself.

And in all breakups, when a person is wrong, they always always need you before you need them.

If you give it a go, dont beat yourself up about it, honestly I think hes trying to goad you back in to a relationship, so he can rewrite how it ends. Humans are predictable in that.

Keep us posted.

exactly couldn't agree more especially with the breakroom confession.