Black Men Can Be Sickening at Times...

[Alpha Female]

Ok, I KNOW I will get a lot of posts from ladies disagreeing with me and trying to clobber me over the head, thinking I'm generalizing and what not. So let me first start off by saying I'm not talking about ALL Black men, because you can't generalize a whole race or group of people. I was doing some net-surfing for this conversation/discussion group I will be participating in on the state of Black Male/Female relationships, and came across the article in the link below.

Now let me secondly come right off the bat and say that I have no problems with black men dating white women - that was not my issue with the article because I, in fact, date people outside my race as well. What I took issue with is this guy's little rant about all the reasons Black men don't date Black women. It was literally nauseating! "We're too independent, too head-strong, too controlling, expect too much, don't care about our appearance, not sexually open (compared to other races), don't make our men feel appreciated, don't cater to our men, we're bitter, we're angry, yada, yada, yada.

And I'm like gimme a fricking break already!!! I'm sick of hearing this bull#$&! I'm sick of a lot of Black men whining like babies about how unfair the world is to them, about how racism is still keeping them down & holding them back, about how Black women don't build them up & encourage them. I'm like - Build up YOUR SELF already! Stop blaming your past & your environment for everything wrong in your life. Stop expecting a Black woman to wait hand & foot on you! Stop thinking you're some King that's supposed to be bowed down to & catered to. Stop blaming your choice to date White women on what you perceive as the inadequacies of Black women. Be a damn man already, and start taking some responsibility for yourself and the decisions & choices you make in life, and stop blaming everybody else for what is wrong in your life!!! GGGGGRRRRRRRRR.

It's just so frustrating and sickening to hear this type attitude from a lot of our Black men. No wonder Black marriages are on the decline! No wonder more & more Black women are staying single longer, not marrying at all or finally starting to cross the color line. I'm not saying some of the above things aren't real issues - because yes, racism is still alive & well in 2008, but for God's sake, JUST DEAL WITH IT! And I'm not saying don't believe in & encourage your man because every relationship should include that, with the belief & encouragement flowing in BOTH directions! But when is it enough for some Black men?!?! I mean, really, when is it ever enough?! One thing I do agree with that this guy said in the article was his statement at the very end "It is harshly possible that we may never be able to come together in harmonious attempts to survive as a race." And that's a sad, but true possibility...

http://www.blackstate.com/dateblackwomen.html

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I wholeheartedly agree!

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

This is an urban letter... look up the Willie Lynch letter... is it not the same?

And Persaud's book, from what Black Expressions is saying, does not say what you (many) think it does...

 

[poetist]

I try not to get worked up over things that I merely read. In my experience, this man and his views are the minority. THe majority of the black men that I know, dont share the warped views mentioned in the article. Do I know some who do? Sure. But I also know men of every ethnicity who harbor self hate. I used to date an Indian guy who came from a VERY traditional Indian family where marriages were arranged and he became a career student to try to avoid the inevitable. But he had some REALLY disturbing views on Indian women.

THe difference is that I think media perpetuates the negative views that some black men harbor about us. I even think that they create false statistics on marriage and interracial marriages to attempt to discourage us. Then we get mad bitter and perpetuate the same internal hate. I agree with Lauryn that it acts as "The WIllie Lynch" letter was supposed to and attempts to divide us.

Anyhow, I love black men. Especially, my husband.

 

[Theo]

lol... this popped up awhile back. If you notice, homeboy did his "surveys" on 5 black men.

I'm not paying this negro no kinda mind... honestly look up his pic. Whould you date him? Who is really losing here? LMAO.

 

[Magus484]

I try not to get worked up over things that I merely read. In my experience, this man and his views are the minority. THe majority of the black men that I know, dont share the warped views mentioned in the article. Do I know some who do? Sure. But I also know men of every ethnicity who harbor self hate. I used to date an Indian guy who came from a VERY traditional Indian family where marriages were arranged and he became a career student to try to avoid the inevitable. But he had some REALLY disturbing views on Indian women...

Just Indian women? What were these views?

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Regardless of race, religions, etc...I hate it when any group will down another group just to justify their own actions. "I only date (insert group) because (insert group) are selfish, lazy, whatever.... NO, perhaps some of these people should look at the shortcomings of their own group. Divide and conquer works like a charm.

 

[poetist]

Just Indian women? What were these views?

Yup. He LOVED LOVED LOVED Latino women, but Indian chicks....

He said that he didnt find them attractive, lacked personality, not adventurous, boring in bed (although he claimed to have never slept with anyohwell, too submissive (in personal and professional life), poor hygiene, and the list goes on.

It was all a very strange dynamic, especially since he will end up marrying that which he claims to hate