BLACK/HISPANIC MEN AND NATURAL HAIR

TRINITY05

TRINITY05

New Member
It seems that since I went natural I don't get the looks like I use to when I was relaxed. It sems to me and I could be wrong but black men especially just don't like the natural 4b hair. I usually wear twist outs when I wear it out.
 
I know whenever this topic comes up, people pretend like the issue is just in our heads. But I notice the same thing. Its like black men see right through me when I have my natural hair out. Maybe the experience is different if you have looser or wavy natural hair? I don't know.
 
I'm starting to believe that black men don't seem to like natural hair (type 4) because they haven't been conditioned to think that it is beautiful. If over 70 percent of black women are relaxed, then they don't have many natural women to choose from in the first place. If none of the women around them wear natural hair and have negative attitudes about it, what makes us think that this same attitude won't be passed down to the men?

If the majority of black women were natural, they wouldn't have choice but to like it.

And since the majority of us are NOT natural, we can't truly say whether they like it or not.
 
I think if the majority of us were natural then they would find women of another race. It seems hair is a BIG issue to men of all races. Men are visual and I am typically speaking for 4B women who wear their hair natural. Black/Hispanic men turn they heads away from us. If they have to accept the natural hair it would have to be naturally curly.
 
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I get lots of compliments on my hair from black men. Admittedly, most are 35+ (I'm 30+ myself, though). I think it's because they are from a time when they can remember lots of black women wearing their hair natural (afros). I think if we wore our hair natural more and learned and did all the styles for it, men would also become accustomed to it. A lot has to do with style, health, and length, because I've definitely gotten more positive responses since joining this forum.

I'm 4b, btw.
 
TRINITY05 said:
I think if the majority of us were natural then they would find women of another race. It seems hair is a BIG issue to men of all races.
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They do that already. Why get a woman with fake non-black woman hair, when you can get the real thing. That has nothing to do with relaxed or natural.

Also, since the majority of black men prefer black women, I think they'd stay with us, nappy hair and all.
 
TRINITY05 said:
I think if the majority of us were natural then they would find women of another race. It seems hair is a BIG issue to men of all races. Men are visual and I am typically speaking for 4B women who wear their hair natural.Black/Hispanic men turn they heads away from us. If they have to accept the natural hair it would have to be naturally curly.
Click to expand...

That goes back to my point of them being CONDITIONED to not like anything outside of straight or curly hair. And a lot of that conditioning comes not only from the media, but also from the black women around them.

If we don't like it, talk bad about it, or hate it, what makes you think that they won't do the same?
 
I used to think this was an issue, but I actually get compliments either way.

My husband and dad both think natural hair rocks... but that the quality of how you carry yourself AND your hair is more important.

I'm not saying the "blindness" is a mental assumption we make, but I think if black women... collectively (starting one by one) took care of their hair the best way possible (because I'm assuming we're all doing what we think is best, not what IS best for us individually)... and we maintained lovely, supple heads, we'll come a long way.

I get more love for my natural hair now... or just my hair period... now that I love and appreciate it as opposed to when I was natural or permed and hated it.
 
Bosinse said:
I know whenever this topic comes up, people pretend like the issue is just in our heads. But I notice the same thing. Its like black men see right through me when I have my natural hair out. Maybe the experience is different if you have looser or wavy natural hair? I don't know.
Click to expand...


It is! I hate to say it but if your natural hair has the looser or wavy hair, then yeah, they love the natural hair.

But if you have the real Afro-Textured natural hair, then no, most of them are not feeling you. I'm serious on this.
 
I BCed when I was with my ex who was Puerto Rican. He freaked out...not so much about the texture but because my hair was short and he said women should have long hair. Um whatever..I did it anyway and if he didnt like it he could kick rocks.

We broke up shortly after (for other reasons) and my new man was black. He met me with short natural hair and after being together for a bout a year he said " I didnt like your hair at first but now I really do". We're not together now but we still talk occassionally and the last time I went by his house to pick up some mail with conditioner in my hair (i was DCing). He thought I cut my hair again but when I pulled it and it was collarbone length he was like OMG dont ever put a perm in your hair. Its so long and thick. Now I dont even think my hair is long but I guess he only been dealing with relaxed heads that didnt take care of their hair properly and been weaved up.

Now the guy I talk to now (hes African but was raised in the US) I was wearing a lace wig when I met him. I tried to feel him out and ask questions and he prefers straight long hair. Im now wearing my hair natural and he hasnt said anything about it.

For me its been guys fall for me first and my hair warms up to them. I think its a confidence thing too because my hair is always fly, Im always trying new and unique styles and Im naturally a glam girl.
 
Oh yea and I forgot to mention I wore lace wigs through the summer because Im a promotional model. They usually prefer long straight hair. I met one of my friend for drinks that manages for a company and my hair was in a twist out pinned up to the side. She was like OMG I love your hair I need you for our new program.

Well low and behold there is an alcohol that is doing a neo soul, 60's themed program. I was very surprised since they usually go for the mainstream look.
 
hairsothick said:
They do that already. Why get a woman with fake non-black woman hair, when you can get the real thing. That has nothing to do with relaxed or natural.

Also, since the majority of black men prefer black women, I think they'd stay with us, nappy hair and all.
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They stay with us because majority of Black women wear relaxers.

When everybody was wearing Afros, EVERYBODY was wearing Afros. Not only that but at the time when wearing Afros was happening, the mood in Black America was completely different. After that period, when that mood died, it went right back to what it was before, men liking the straigter hair.

My brother told me about how everybody was wearing Afros back then, but is a straight-haired sister with "good Hair" walked into the room, he said you best believe that majority of the brothers start walking toward her.

Let's not get this twisted. The majority of them DO NOT like afro-textured natural hair. If they did, then more sisters would wear their hair natural. Because the majority of Black American women still have afro-textured natural hair.

I think sometimes we see such wide range here on this forum, but that's not the case with most Black American women.
 
I think another factor is where u live. In places where natural hair is seen often most people just adapt. I live in NYC and I get a fair amount of attention but I went to dc and I got a whole lotta love out there.
I don't know. I think a lot of us have accepted that the type of guy u attract may change or the amount of guys u attract may change but it's not always a bad thing. My face still looks the same but my hair can always change. So if he's all caught up in my scalp then I don't know what to tell him, lol.
 
I appreciate the honesty of this thread. I do believe that there are Black men who don't pay as much attention to me because of my hair. They take one good look at my 4B head and it's like they see right through me.

On the other hand I think it depends on where you live and who the man is. I get a lot of positive feedback from Black men coming from metropolitan areas like New York (where there are tons and tons of natural styles :yep:). I also get a lot of attention from African men. Finally, I sincerely believe that if the hair style brings out your features, then that plays a role, too. Ever since I big-chopped I've gotten so many compliments and I know it's because closely-cropped hair brings out my bone structure and other features on my face. :yep: But I would be lying if I didn't agree with others who say that Black and Hispanic men ignore them. I just figure, if they're ignoring me over my hair, they're not worth my time anyway. :yep:
 
Yes many Black men do not like natural hair on women. Why would they, when they like everyone else have been conditioned to believe that natural Black hair is unappealing especially the tightest coils. When most Black women wear their hair straight why would they choose the unpopular choice? Sadly many men are very susceptible to public opinion and peer pressure. In fact I've heard Black men say that Black women wearing their natural hair are usually gay, stuck up, militant or intimidating.

The upside to this is that your cat calls and disrespectiful comments are minimized, the men that approach you are mature and want a woman with natural hair or just don't care as long as you good. That's my take on it.
 
AvaSpeaks said:
They stay with us because majority of Black women wear relaxers.

When everybody was wearing Afros, EVERYBODY was wearing Afros. Not only that but at the time when wearing Afros was happening, the mood in Black America was completely different. After that period, when that mood died, it went right back to what it was before, men liking the straigter hair.

My brother told me about how everybody was wearing Afros back then, but is a straight-haired sister with "good Hair" walked into the room, he said you best believe that majority of the brothers start walking toward her.

Let's not get this twisted. The majority of them DO NOT like afro-textured natural hair. If they did, then more sisters would wear their hair natural. Because the majority of Black American women still have afro-textured natural hair.

I think sometimes we see such wide range here on this forum, but that's not the case with most Black American women.
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You're completely ignoring what I said about the conditioning aren't you. It seems like that point is flying right over your head.
 
CurlyMoo said:
Yes many Black men do not like natural hair on women. Why would they, when they like everyone else have been conditioned to believe that natural Black hair is unappealing especially the tightest coils. When most Black women wear their hair straight why would they choose the unpopular choice?
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^^^^^THIS!^^^^:yep:
 
I've asked my husband and other Brothers about this same thing and the consensus was that they liked ALOT of hair - meaning they preferred long hair -whether natural or straight. When I wore my hair in a huge texlaxed fro', I got lots of attention from Black men. They'd say "Wow, you got some hair", and it was only APL. That's not long for lhcf, but it's long enough for most men.
 
ceebee3 said:
Black men have been conditioned to hate themselves just as much as black women.

There are a lot of Black women who don't like natural hair either.
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Yes, you are absolutely right, just remember the thread on the Off topic forum the other day about would you wear natural hair is were a looser texture. There were quite a few ladies here admit they wouldn't wear their natural hair because it's in the 4 range.
 
mwedzi said:
I get lots of compliments on my hair from black men. Admittedly, most are 35+ (I'm 30+ myself, though). I think it's because they are from a time when they can remember lots of black women wearing their hair natural (afros). I think if we wore our hair natural more and learned and did all the styles for it, men would also become accustomed to it. A lot has to do with style, health, and length, because I've definitely gotten more positive responses since joining this forum.

I'm 4b, btw.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are correct most come from older black men, however, I bet is you were to flatiron your hair dead straight, you would receive even more compliments from black men.
 
I thinkit's more so length, rather than relaxed vs. natural.

I have heard Black men rave over women with "lion-like" hair that is just big, fluffy and long. Kinda like Beyoce's darker skinned dancer (she's my hair idol)

I think the resistance that a lot of us get is due to having SHORT hair, not nappy hair.

Prime example is Mwezdi. She has 4b hair but it is long and big. What man wouldn't be attracted to that?
 
Latin men liked me when i was relaxed.
Latin men like me when i bc (i bc after 1 year of transitioning).
Latin men like me when my hair grew longer.

black men did not liked me when i was relaxed (well a few did) i had hair that frizz.
black men def. did not like me when i bc'ed
black men like me now my hair has gotten longer

And yes i do think black men like me more now because i am a 3. Sad but true.
 
Mwedzi, you may be on to something! I'm 40 and I would hear comments like "go 'head Angela Davis" So yeah, it may be generational.
 
I have noticed that men seem to respond more to weaves, loosely textured curly hair, and fly relaxed styles. Long weaves will get a woman the most male attention, though. I don't know if that means black men hate themselves and nappy hair. But I do think that men are more attracted to women who are wearing the latest hair styles and fashions.

If BAA's were to come back in style and Bey, Halle, and Amber Rose started sportin them everywhere they went, in every picture, in every movie and concert, then, black men would suddenly develop an attraction for natural hair and BAA's in particular.
 
My hair is thick and long and the most compliments I get are from black women even when I wear blown out twist-outs. I rarely get compliments from black men. Our people are f-uped in the hair department-self hate and I'm not, so if they don't like it I don't care.
 
laurend said:
Yes, you are absolutely right, just remember the thread on the Off topic forum the other day about would you wear natural hair is were a looser texture. There were quite a few ladies here admit they wouldn't wear their natural hair because it's in the 4 range.
Click to expand...

I PURPOSELY stayed out of that thread because I knew I would get riled up.

Reminded me of some ignorant relatives.
 
The type of man that I attract has changed since going natural. I still get hit on but there's a change in quality. :yep:

Last night I spoke candidly with a group of men and women about it and the consensus was they didn't mind natural hair so long as they didn't know it was natural. Meaning pressed naturals and loose waves and curls :rolleyes:
 
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