thaidreams
New Member
I can honestly say that I get the same amount of attention from black men when my hair is both pressed and curly. My husband is the only black man I know that actually prefers my hair straight.
BLACK/HISPANIC MEN AND NATURAL HAIR
- Thread starter TRINITY05
- Start date
silvergirl
Well-Known Member
i still think it has more to do with length... although... sometimes i just dont understand black men. when i bd'ed everyone loved it. i still got the look. ring on my finger an all lol. personally i think its just cause it looked good. barely there short hair looks good on alot of heads.
when my hair got to that inbetween length. i noticed the change. but honestly i didnt like my hair either at that length.
now my hair is just beginning to come back into the longer stage of natural. my hair moves in the wind. bounces, i could go out in a wind storm. come back in shake my head around and the hair falls back into place. men love that.. so they say. so to me i think men just like length, and movement. oppose to texture.
when my hair got to that inbetween length. i noticed the change. but honestly i didnt like my hair either at that length.
now my hair is just beginning to come back into the longer stage of natural. my hair moves in the wind. bounces, i could go out in a wind storm. come back in shake my head around and the hair falls back into place. men love that.. so they say. so to me i think men just like length, and movement. oppose to texture.
TRINITY05
New Member
UPDATE:
I have been proudly wearing my 4B hair in twistouts. Black men still hold their head down when they walk pass me.....but oh well as long as I am happy and my husband is happy that's all that matters to me.
White men love it! Asian women can't stop staring (lord knows what they are thinking) and hispanic men are pretty much like the black men.....they look the other way. The black women in my office LOVE IT!!! and they told me I look a lot younger with my natural hair out instead of the wigs.
I have come to the conclusion that I cannot make everyone happy with the way I wear my hair. As long as I am happy with it, that's all that matters.
I have been proudly wearing my 4B hair in twistouts. Black men still hold their head down when they walk pass me.....but oh well as long as I am happy and my husband is happy that's all that matters to me.
White men love it! Asian women can't stop staring (lord knows what they are thinking) and hispanic men are pretty much like the black men.....they look the other way. The black women in my office LOVE IT!!! and they told me I look a lot younger with my natural hair out instead of the wigs.
I have come to the conclusion that I cannot make everyone happy with the way I wear my hair. As long as I am happy with it, that's all that matters.
lovenharmony
ET / OT Bonafide Member
I guess it depends on your environment. I noticed that now that I'm natural, more Black and Hispanic men notice and compliment me than when I was relaxed!
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I don't think it has anything to do with conditioning. I believe men equate strait hair as being well kept. My friend has natural big bush baby hair and she has no prob with black men attention because she looks like a model. I personally am not as educated as I'd like to care for natural hair. I wish my mom could have taught me how to braid or care for my natural hair. She didn't know how to care for natural hair, either.
I get more attention with my hair big and curly--from most races. The word "exotic" gets thrown at me a lot. lol I do think the majority of men prefer straight hair--but like someone else mentioned, I think length (that shows, meaning stretched natural hair) can trump straight.
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
My hair is 3B/3C and I don't have any problems with either black men or Latino men. I DID notice that when my hair was short I didn't get as much attention. Now that my hair is long I do, doesn't matter the race.
I am married to a Puerto Rican man and I could tell he wasn't too happy with my BC, but he was very supportive. He said he liked it, but now that its long again I realize he gives me more attention and always compliments my hair.
OMG yes so true
I am married to a Puerto Rican man and I could tell he wasn't too happy with my BC, but he was very supportive. He said he liked it, but now that its long again I realize he gives me more attention and always compliments my hair.
OMG yes so true
naturalgyrl5199
Well-Known Member
There was some thuggish dude flirting with me last Monday and I had my 3-day old twists in my hair, partially covered with a knitted cap looking rough....(I was at the LAUNDROMAT) of all places....
I was surprised because 1) I was looking rough, 2) My hair is obviously natural....but he was drawn to me because I apologized for almost hitting him with the door and we started laughing and I was just nice to him.....I was totally convinced he was not worrying about my LOOK. I am thinking maybe it was my personality...who knows? But if I wasn't married I might have given him my # because really ladies the one you REALLY want looks beyond your LOOK.....If your attitude is mature, and your confidence is UP (lets be honest, many natural ladies LACK confidence about their hair), it shines through and draws people to you.
I notice I get more looks from men (relaxed, natural, short hair, longer hair when I was 20 pounds heavier, or at my best weight) when I wear a smile, I look confident, and I walk with my head held high. I attract them younger, older, I even had a muslim guy stop and speak, and even ask for a hug (Nothing against Muslims but who would have thought?)
When I look shy, or mean, or walk with my shoulders slumped I don't get a second look...
But sure, I can agree many black men are not attracted to natural looking hair, but at the same time, MANY MANY black and latino men are NOT AVERSE to it either.....If you are wearing your GARMENT OF CONFIDENCE, then like I said...the MAN YOU WANT will like you whether your hair is natural, short, long, rough looking or WHATEVER....However your hair is-keep it clean, healthy, looking shiny, and maybe you can change many men and women's mind about natual hair...as I have been fortunate to do. I can proudly say I have about 7 facebook friends who are transitioning or wanting to go natural now because they saw my natural progress pics....Not bragging....its just my personal experience that has surprised even myself over the last 2 years.
We Naturals have to make this NATURAL THING look GOOOOD!
I was surprised because 1) I was looking rough, 2) My hair is obviously natural....but he was drawn to me because I apologized for almost hitting him with the door and we started laughing and I was just nice to him.....I was totally convinced he was not worrying about my LOOK. I am thinking maybe it was my personality...who knows? But if I wasn't married I might have given him my # because really ladies the one you REALLY want looks beyond your LOOK.....If your attitude is mature, and your confidence is UP (lets be honest, many natural ladies LACK confidence about their hair), it shines through and draws people to you.
I notice I get more looks from men (relaxed, natural, short hair, longer hair when I was 20 pounds heavier, or at my best weight) when I wear a smile, I look confident, and I walk with my head held high. I attract them younger, older, I even had a muslim guy stop and speak, and even ask for a hug (Nothing against Muslims but who would have thought?)
When I look shy, or mean, or walk with my shoulders slumped I don't get a second look...
But sure, I can agree many black men are not attracted to natural looking hair, but at the same time, MANY MANY black and latino men are NOT AVERSE to it either.....If you are wearing your GARMENT OF CONFIDENCE, then like I said...the MAN YOU WANT will like you whether your hair is natural, short, long, rough looking or WHATEVER....However your hair is-keep it clean, healthy, looking shiny, and maybe you can change many men and women's mind about natual hair...as I have been fortunate to do. I can proudly say I have about 7 facebook friends who are transitioning or wanting to go natural now because they saw my natural progress pics....Not bragging....its just my personal experience that has surprised even myself over the last 2 years.
We Naturals have to make this NATURAL THING look GOOOOD!
naturalgyrl5199
Well-Known Member
Amen to the bolded.....Now that my hair is longer I of course get more looks....I think healthy looking natural hair, with a nice shine/no matter the texture vs natural, dry looking hair trumps straight too.....JMO.
Nasdaq_Diva
Well-Known Member
For me, I've noticed a different BREED of black men who approach me since being natural. I'm no longer approached by the thugs/wankstas. I'm approached by black men on the professional level.
White men, LOVE me! Point blank...lol they let it be known too that they are interested.
I've never really gave a damn if a man liked/disliked me if I was natural. If I'm not his type, I'm just not his type. I know alot of women have that fear when they consider transistioning back to their natural hair. But, Ain't no way in hell I'm going to straighten my hair just because I'm afraid of getting/keeping a man.
White men, LOVE me! Point blank...lol they let it be known too that they are interested.
I've never really gave a damn if a man liked/disliked me if I was natural. If I'm not his type, I'm just not his type. I know alot of women have that fear when they consider transistioning back to their natural hair. But, Ain't no way in hell I'm going to straighten my hair just because I'm afraid of getting/keeping a man.
azuquita_morena
New Member
I agree that everyone has different experiences. As for me personally [with 3c/4a hair] I can't say I have had one group/race that overwhelmingly loved my hair. Some guys love it, some indifferent, and a select few that do not like it. I remember hearing so many people saying white guys love and raves over natural hair, but for me, they are the main ones that are indifferent. I never had a white American compliment my hair. However, I've had some black men and women compliment my hair, and I still get hit on by latin or other men as I did when I had straight hair.
Either way I don't care, I love my hair and my opinion is the only one that counts lol.
ETA: I do agree with the others who believe it is more about long hair than the texture. While I have APL (and some BSL) length hair, when I wear my curls, I have a ridiculous amount of shrinkage, making my hair look less than shoulder length. I do think that has an effect on how many compliments I get on my hair.
Either way I don't care, I love my hair and my opinion is the only one that counts lol.
ETA: I do agree with the others who believe it is more about long hair than the texture. While I have APL (and some BSL) length hair, when I wear my curls, I have a ridiculous amount of shrinkage, making my hair look less than shoulder length. I do think that has an effect on how many compliments I get on my hair.
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naturalgyrl5199
Well-Known Member
I don't know because its been so long since I've processed my hair but I notice I get more compliments when it looks wild vs tamed. Black American men tend not to like it but I get all the foreigners and my husband is Puerto Rican and he HATES when I try to straighten it - his fav request is "wash it and wear it wild". He loves it wild and will even massage it - he's a freak though because he also loves to bury his nose in it. My hair is not very long, shrunken its by my ears and elongated its little past my shoulders.
lilsparkle825
New Member
I think I hit the jackpot with my current SO.....he is Black and Dominican, but was raised by his AA mother. He has been surrounded by natural hair for a while now, since his mom is natural and his sister BC'd a few years back. He loves my hair and makes it known.
Before I met him, it wasn't really like that. Yeah I'd get the occasional Black man falling over himself trying to touch my hair or throwing compliments my way, but most of these compliments came along with them bashing type 4 naturals or something. As a matter of fact, my ex made it clear that he didn't like my hair....I just couldn't tell if that was because it was short (or at least looked that way with all the shrinkage) or because it was curly. All I know is that he loved it when I wore it straight....ol' shallow behind.
Before I met him, it wasn't really like that. Yeah I'd get the occasional Black man falling over himself trying to touch my hair or throwing compliments my way, but most of these compliments came along with them bashing type 4 naturals or something. As a matter of fact, my ex made it clear that he didn't like my hair....I just couldn't tell if that was because it was short (or at least looked that way with all the shrinkage) or because it was curly. All I know is that he loved it when I wore it straight....ol' shallow behind.
deltagyrl
Well-Known Member
This thread is depressing. I couldn't get past the first few posts.
I bc'd in June, went from MBL to a twa and I love, love, love my hair!
It took a minute for me to adjust to it being so short but I get compliments from black/non-black men AND woman frequently.
My goal is to have a big 'ol 4B 'fro that I can shake and rock out to.
I'm sure that there are some men who see me and go
or 
but that's okay.
Imma continue to do me.
Natural hair rocks!
I bc'd in June, went from MBL to a twa and I love, love, love my hair!
It took a minute for me to adjust to it being so short but I get compliments from black/non-black men AND woman frequently.
My goal is to have a big 'ol 4B 'fro that I can shake and rock out to.
I'm sure that there are some men who see me and go
or but that's okay. Imma continue to do me.
Natural hair rocks!
brucebettye
New Member
I am not natural but texlaxed and I love to wear my hair in my big ole side puff. I get lots of attention from any race of man. I do believe it has to do with the fact that my hair is longer. I think in general men just like women with some length, but if you have self confidence men will be attracted to that instead of your hair. I got my husband and my hair was damaged by perms and did not look good. So self confidence and my personality got his attention. Hair is not always a deal breaker to attract a man.
fatimablush
Well-Known Member
bumping this....
MadisonK
Active Member
I agree with the posts that say men prefer longer hair...regardless of the texture. Since I have BC'd, I have had Black, White AND HISPANIC men all look disappointed.
One black man told me that if a woman has short hair it's not as pretty or feminine to a man, and she needs a tight body to counteract. lol
One black man told me that if a woman has short hair it's not as pretty or feminine to a man, and she needs a tight body to counteract. lol
Freespirit02
New Member
I think it all about swagger. I have gotten a lot of compliments from men..white,black and latino..since I went natural. A man I barely know (latino) said "thank god you have your natural hair..i love it". Sometimes I am very insecure about my hair..but I pretend that I'm the ish..and men respond to that. The more I pretend I'm the bomb..the more confident I feel. I also believe its the whole package..that makes a man decide if you are worth their time. If a man is that dumb to judge you just by your hair..they aren't needed. Or maybe it was something else..not your hair.
Afrolatina
New Member
I didn't get the opportunity to read the full thread, but, here are my 2 cents:
Black/hispanic men DO like natural hair- I have 3c hair (4a in some spots) and when it's SHORT (as it is now, it's curly but slightly nappy in some spots) lol I get snide, horrible looks and generally an icy reception from everyone- male and female with a few compliments.
BUT, when my hair is LONG (same texture as mentioned above) I get the most compliments, warm reception and generally a lot of envious/kind looks. It's my opinion that men don't necessarily care about the texture (again this varies but, overall, in my opinion) but it's the LENGTH that sells it...volume is also a plus too.. at my last job, I used to have men and women (customers and employees) of all races giving me compliments, touching my hair, etc., when I was forced to BC, on the other hand, it was nothing but ignorance all. the. way.
Black/hispanic men DO like natural hair- I have 3c hair (4a in some spots) and when it's SHORT (as it is now, it's curly but slightly nappy in some spots) lol I get snide, horrible looks and generally an icy reception from everyone- male and female with a few compliments.
BUT, when my hair is LONG (same texture as mentioned above) I get the most compliments, warm reception and generally a lot of envious/kind looks. It's my opinion that men don't necessarily care about the texture (again this varies but, overall, in my opinion) but it's the LENGTH that sells it...volume is also a plus too.. at my last job, I used to have men and women (customers and employees) of all races giving me compliments, touching my hair, etc., when I was forced to BC, on the other hand, it was nothing but ignorance all. the. way.
nique3
New Member
I agree this thread is very depressing. I get compliments from black men all the time and I wear my hair in a natural puff. I think it also depends on how a woman styles her hair. It doesn't matter if it's straight, relaxed, telaxed, nappy, kinky, curly if your hair style is not becoming of who you are then you probably won't get very many compliments.
I think natural ladies always want to use the "he must not like my natural hair, because he didn't compliment me" as an excuse. Maybe it wasn't your hair he didn't like, maybe it was the style. Also, just because your natural and love your hair doesn't mean everyone else has to, and this is coming from a natural.
I think natural ladies always want to use the "he must not like my natural hair, because he didn't compliment me" as an excuse. Maybe it wasn't your hair he didn't like, maybe it was the style. Also, just because your natural and love your hair doesn't mean everyone else has to, and this is coming from a natural.
Krymsonkween
New Member
It is funny the white men I meet absolutley love my twa. A couple of black men say why did u do that. My dh says he hates my natural hair but funny he can not keep his hand sout of my head.
He says he loves to feel the curls but still hates natural hair.
Off topic: I am 5'9 and I meet so many hispanic men that are half my height that come up and want to take me out!!!!! Go figure.
He says he loves to feel the curls but still hates natural hair.
Off topic: I am 5'9 and I meet so many hispanic men that are half my height that come up and want to take me out!!!!! Go figure.
Afrolatina
New Member
It is funny the white men I meet absolutley love my twa. A couple of black men say why did u do that. My dh says he hates my natural hair but funny he can not keep his hand sout of my head.
He says he loves to feel the curls but still hates natural hair.
Off topic: I am 5'9 and I meet so many hispanic men that are half my height that come up and want to take me out!!!!! Go figure.
I co-sign!!!
My hubby is crazy... he's mixed and has mostly dated white girls. When we were dating I had natural waist length 3c hair and he admitted back then that it was part of the reason why he fell for me- he absolutely loved it but would NOT want me to wrap it (how ignorant is this? I would put on a silk scarf and he'd frown and say you're not wearing that because the white girls he dated NEVER wrapped it although his mom STAYS wrapped up lol). I had to BC this year and he HATED it (although it was mostly his fault lol but i'ma leave that one alone lol). He admitted he wasn't attracted to me and that he still sometimes isn't- not like he used to be anyway- he's not a jerk, really. And he doesn't honestly feel that way always but it does irk him from time to time. Frankly, I didn't want to BC again anyway, I had to do it 2 times before.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
The good news is that men fall in love with us for a combination of reasons: our faces, personalities, figures, ambitions, dreams, our smiles, and more. Our hair is only an aspect of who we are. If you have a lot going for you, natural hair, kinky or not, will not keep men of any race from wanting you.
lovenharmony
ET / OT Bonafide Member
curlydrea
New Member
I had noticed this when i first BC'd to an inch of 4a hair. I started getting noticed by a different "type" of black guy.
Actually by SO at the time encourged me to go natrual in the first place.
As my hair has grown out, id say i get more compliments now on my hair from men than ever.
As far as white men.. they have told me they love my hair. Esp two strand twist and my afro.
Most of my black male friends didnt like my hair natrually which i figured because their moms have relaxed hair therefore thats what they see as ideal/beautiful sadly.
But as its getting longer, they give me compliments at times
Actually by SO at the time encourged me to go natrual in the first place.
As my hair has grown out, id say i get more compliments now on my hair from men than ever.
As far as white men.. they have told me they love my hair. Esp two strand twist and my afro.
Most of my black male friends didnt like my hair natrually which i figured because their moms have relaxed hair therefore thats what they see as ideal/beautiful sadly.
But as its getting longer, they give me compliments at times
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