Being natural does not a Nazi make.

[RngdeCurls]

An incident with a coworker last night made me realize that a lot of people assume that I'm some sort of hair elitist ever since I've gone natural. Despite my obvious interest, I notice that I shy away from talking about hair since I'm afraid of being labeled a "natural Nazi." Even when other people are rude to me regarding my hair, I still feel like I'm obligated to take the hair high road since I've become so knowledgeable about healthy hair practices. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

The Incident (if you're interested)

Her: I want to get my hair pressed this week. You should go to my girl, I bet your hair would look nice pressed out.

Me: I would like to but I'm really afraid of getting heat damage since I usually wear my hair curly.

Her: Oh no. She's good. She's the only person I trust with my hair and she got me heat-trained.

Me: Well that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want my hair to be straight after I wet it.

Her: Girl, getting your hair pressed one time will not make it straight. When I say heat trained, its just easier for her to get my hair straight and it stays straight for a long time.

Me: Heat training means that the hair is damaged straight. The protein structure of your hair is broken like with a relaxer so your hair stays straight.

Her: So only natural hair is healthy?

Me: erplexed I didn't say that. You can have a relaxer and have healthy hair, I just don't want my hair to be struck straight.

Her: Well my hair is longer than your's so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Me: That's cool. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend the rest of my night searching behind the counter for your edges.

That last part might have been added in, but I was so annoyed with her after that!

 

[CaraWalker]

i was just thinking about this the other day. its always some broad with a relaxer and a weave complaining about natural hair or black women in general. (please dont swarm me for this if it dont apply to you keep it moving.) almost got into an efight with some basic chick on my fb about this but decide to let her and her tacky weave carry on.

 

[Napp]

I'm confused is she relaxed with heat trained hair? Isn't that a bit redundant?

 

[BostonMaria]

So her answer is her hair is longer? It won't be for long if she keeps frying it LOL

 

[RngdeCurls]

I'm confused is she relaxed with heat trained hair? Isn't that a bit redundant?

That's how she self-identifies. I figured its not my place to question it.

 

[Platinum]

I wouldn't have entertained her with that conversation. I would have said, "No thanks." and KIM.

 

[RngdeCurls]

I wouldn't have entertained her with that conversation. I would have said, "No thanks." and KIM.

I agree 100-percent. This conversation was an anomaly for us to be honest since I usually find her overbearing. So do you also feel like you have to shy away from hair conversations?

 

[prettybyrd]

I wouldn't have entertained her with that conversation. I would have said, "No thanks." and KIM.

I was thinking the same thing. For whatever reason your co-worker just seemed very defensive for nothing. I don't have patience for people like that.

I agree 100-percent. This conversation was an anomaly for us to be honest since I usually find her overbearing. So do you also feel like you have to shy away from hair conversations?

I know that you asked this question of Platinum, but I just wanted to chime in.

I would say yes, to a point. After being natural as long as I have, I do not entertain hair talk with everyone. Some people just want to argue and fuss about my hair practices, and I don't make time for those people.

Many people also have expectations that women with natural hair think that natural hair is right and anything else is wrong. Honestly, it's those naturals who do feel that way who give all of us a bad name.

Not engaging in hair talk with people who have been defensive with you, or people you don't know, will lessen the likelihood that you have another conversation like the one you posted above.

 

[Platinum]

I agree 100-percent. This conversation was an anomaly for us to be honest since I usually find her overbearing. So do you also feel like you have to shy away from hair conversations?

Yes. I realized that some people don't understand or respect our choice to wear our hair in it's natural state. I guess I just don't have the patience to convince them why or to get into hair care debates any more. But if someone is really sincere when asking for natural hair care advice, I will help them.

 

[Saludable84]

I think she was starting with you just to get you. There was nothing wrong with your comments, but she sounds stupid (like most girls in the real world, relaxed or natural) and it sounds like she is just against your hair. I don't entertain these girls at work. The last one that gave me a lecture, I let her say her peace and I said "ok" and left the room. I don't have time for small minds and people who think they know better.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I've never gotten into a hair debate.I've been natural for almost three years and most people just want to compliment me or ask questions. When I hear something stupid I just say "Really? That's something!" Like when a friend told me that water breaks off her hair I just said "Really?" No need to discuss it. If she wants to believe water is damaging, so be it.

 

[LaBelleLL]

Well you basically said her hair was damaged (which is true). What did you expect?

I've actually been in situations like these except I have not gone as far to explain what heat trained hair really is. If they want their hair heat trained for whatever reason, I just leave it at that. It's not for me to comment on their hair. It's not my hair. If they want it heat trained, four strands only, or color treated - whatever! Not my hair so I don't need to point anything out.

I feel like hair practices and whatnot aren't for me to explain. If you ask me, to me that means you want to hear me out and I'll tell you everything I know.

I really don't understand this natural hair nazi stuff. I think everyone (newly naturals and relaxed heads) are taking this way too far. I've felt this way for a while now. Maybe it's because I have been natural my entire life. I'm amazed at how people interact regarding natural hair. How defensive it can be. It's not that big of a deal or all that serious. Everyone is out here doing what works for them. Everyone should just let everyone be!!

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[Curlykutie]

I used to have those silly conversations, but now I just ignore ignorance. One of the people I was hanging with ( whose hair is relaxed) was trying to tell me something about natural hair and of course she was wrong. I asked her " how would you know that seeing as how you've always had a relaxer? She stfu and stfd after that. I work with all white people now so there's no hair talk!!! Lol

 

[RngdeCurls]

Two examples and then a question.

1.) The other women at my job can have extensive conversations about hair and its not a problem. They can discuss bundles, glue-ins, relaxers, flat-irons easily without the exchange of ideas and opinions becoming a problem.

2.) Most of the women in this thread are knowledgeable about healthy hair care. They have an interest in the subject but admit that they usually don't participate in discussions about hair IRL.

My question: Why does our hair add a hostile connotation to our words?

 

[LaBelleLL]

Two examples and then a question. 1.) The other women at my job can have extensive conversations about hair and its not a problem. They can discuss bundles, glue-ins, relaxers, flat-irons easily without the exchange of ideas and opinions becoming a problem. 2.) Most of the women in this thread are knowledgeable about healthy hair care. They have an interest in the subject but admit that they usually don't participate in discussions about hair IRL. My question: Why does our hair add a hostile connotation to our words?

I'm not sure what you mean but I think you can definitely have situations where "our hair" doesn't add any hostility. Conversations don't have to be hostile. Really.

Whether it's well meaning or not, once you starting critiquing someone and their hair practices when they haven't asked may not go over very well. Even if they try to push something on you - it may not work because they are coming from a very different point of reference.

And the women at your job can talk about weaves and glue in etc. They are sharing tips. Like with like. Same here. We talk about natural hair practices, what is healthy/unhealthy. Like with like. No hostility.

 

[RngdeCurls]

I'm not sure what you mean but I think you can definitely have situations where "our hair" doesn't add any hostility. Conversations don't have to be hostile. Really.

Whether it's well meaning or not, once you starting critiquing someone and their hair practices when they haven't asked may not go over very well. Even if they try to push something on you - it may not work because they are coming from a very different point of reference.

And the women at your job can talk about weaves and glue in etc. They are sharing tips. Like with like. Same here. We talk about natural hair practices, what is healthy/unhealthy. Like with like. No hostility.

The conversation that we had at work took place a little while ago so unfortunately it was not quoted verbatim. The best I can do is to explain that I did not critique her hair. The term "your" in my recreation is being used to refer to a hypothetical player, not my coworker directly. But again, I can see how that would have been expressed to you because the argument was not quoted verbatim. The gist of the discussion I'd hoped to start was in the first paragraph.

 

[CaraWalker]

Whether it's well meaning or not, once you starting critiquing someone and their hair practices when they haven't asked may not go over very well. Even if they try to push something on you - it may not work because they are coming from a very different point of reference.

you seem to think the op was rude and the coworker had a right to be defensive. as if the coworkers comment werent intrusive, rude, pushy, and sneak dissing in their own right. everyone knows telling naturals to straighten their hair is another way of saying natural hair is "nappy" and "ugly" and it needs to be changed. "your hair would like nice pressed out" = "your hair does not look nice in its current state." if anyone had a right to be defensive it was op.

 

[havilland]

U handled that well. I'm glad u didn't go off in her cus I know u wanted to!

 

[LaBelleLL]

you seem to think the op was rude and the coworker had a right to be defensive. as if the coworkers comment werent intrusive, rude, pushy, and sneak dissing in their own right. everyone knows telling naturals to straighten their hair is another way of saying natural hair is "nappy" and "ugly" and it needs to be changed. "your hair would like nice pressed out" = "your hair does not look nice in its current state." if anyone had a right to be defensive it was op.

Sure they were both wrong but the way OP told the story - what did she expect by saying the woman's hair was damaged. It started out by her saying OP should straighten her hair and that it would look nice. Sure she became pushy but IMO I usually back off bc I know reasons for treating my hair a certain way is difficult to explain to some people bc they don't have background knowledge.

the second paragraph, lol see that's what I'm talking about. when people have said my hair would be nice pressed, I usually think it would and it would be long too - and they just want to see, lol. I don't think the way you've described. I'm sure this is what people may mean so I'm not denying it's truth but IMO unless you come out your face saying something, my mind doesn't go there.


-

 

[RegaLady]

I'm not sure what you mean but I think you can definitely have situations where "our hair" doesn't add any hostility. Conversations don't have to be hostile. Really.

Whether it's well meaning or not, once you starting critiquing someone and their hair practices when they haven't asked may not go over very well. Even if they try to push something on you - it may not work because they are coming from a very different point of reference.

And the women at your job can talk about weaves and glue in etc. They are sharing tips. Like with like. Same here. We talk about natural hair practices, what is healthy/unhealthy. Like with like. No hostility.

It just wouldn't make sense to talk about natural hair to a group of women to are talking about weave. The rare conversations I have about growing hair/natural hair are with women who are interested in growing hair/natural hair.

Conversations I have about hair are never hostile. They shouldn't be. Its not that serious...

 

[Blairx0]

Off topic, but I am over people using the wore Nazi in reference to hair. No offense to the OP I know this is the common phrasing, but ughhh

 

[grownwomanaz]

I've never gotten into a hair debate.I've been natural for almost three years and most people just want to compliment me or ask questions. When I hear something stupid I just say "Really? That's something!" Like when a friend told me that water breaks off her hair I just said "Really?" No need to discuss it. If she wants to believe water is damaging, so be it.

I LOLd cause I do the same thing except I lean back and give them the side eye as I ask, "Really".

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Girl, you handled it better than me. I would've said the last line and not gave one single care.

 

[Napp]

Sure they were both wrong but the way OP told the story - what did she expect by saying the woman's hair was damaged. It started out by her saying OP should straighten her hair and that it would look nice. Sure she became pushy but IMO I usually back off bc I know reasons for treating my hair a certain way is difficult to explain to some people bc they don't have background knowledge.

the second paragraph, lol see that's what I'm talking about. when people have said my hair would be nice pressed, I usually think it would and it would be long too - and they just want to see, lol. I don't think the way you've described. I'm sure this is what people may mean so I'm not denying it's truth but IMO unless you come out your face saying something, my mind doesn't go there.


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Heat training is already a touchy topic on hair boards so I can imagine why someone with no background knowledge could get defensive.

 

[ElevatedEnergy]

If you were uncomfortable in the discussion, the conversation could have ended after her first statement if you would have just said the following:

 

[ElevatedEnergy]

I can talk hair all day...be it natural, relaxed, weaves, braids, heat etc. However when people start asking why I don't do a particular thing, my answer is usually what I posted above: "Cause I don't want to". I don't need to talk about damage, hair loss, bad edges, high prices of service etc to get my point across...it's simple...you do you...I'mma do me.

 

[SimplyLive]

People exaggerate "natural hair nazism."

 

[havilland]

People exaggerate "natural hair nazism."

I respectfully disagree. If u have never been accosted by someone who accuses u of "trying to be white" or hating yourself, your heritage and your fellow "sistas" because you relax your hair or straighten your natural hair, then u haven't lived.


Seriously......

 

[ElevatedEnergy]

^^^^ I guess I haven't lived cause I have never met someone with nerve enough to say something like that to my face. I would probably ask them did they take their meds that day while I flipped my pressed natural hair in their face, and seriously hope the relaxed ladies would do the same. That sounds like someone off their rocker. Only on the internet would someone flex enough muscle like that cause IRL bayyyyby...first off, them's fighting words...second off #GETYOLIFE if what someone else do to the hair on their head causes someone who is totally unaffected so much grief.

 

[CaraWalker]

i may think women with relaxers have race issues, but i wouldnt bother to have that conversation in real life - they obviously dont think so, and if they did, is that really a conversation you want to have with someone?