Being A Basic ***** Or Being A Free Spirit

L.Brown1114 said:
I'm not basic. And to say all white women are or black women who "act white" are is extremely ignorant. Get to know people individually before you judge them and THINK you know them. You're no better than he is, take offense to that
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:hand: Did I quote you? That would be no. I don't know where you're getting that I said anything about all women of any kind. Touchy much? :giggle:
 
L.Brown1114 said:
He said the way I talk sounds like a sitcom. He said like "friends" he's Hispanic and dates only black girls. I have a hunch I act too "white" for him. I mentioned it and he didn't deny it...
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I was told I was too 'vanilla'. I took that to mean plain, boring or too white acting and it stung at the time so I know how you feel.
Fast forward 10 years.. dude has two baby mothers and two children no wife and no ethics or honor to speak of.

Hmm... I'm good. I like 'other peoples' drama. not my own. I'll watch from afar.
 
So he said you were basic because you now have plans for your future instead of partying your life away? :confused: He wants you to be the old you?

But that doesn't correlate with the responses given here. Can you clarify?
 
Why do things have to be so Black and White (pardon the pun)? Surely there's a gray area. Why can't you enjoy a little of both worlds? Be responsible for 40 hours a week, sleep for 56 (that provides 7 days of a full night's sleep) and you still have 112 hours to do whatever.

There's nothing wrong with having a good time but returning to "being basic" (whatever that means) when the time comes. I made it through undergrad with honors and partied almost every weekend (Friday and Saturday nights were for "getting it in", Sunday morning was for recovery, Sunday night... back to the books).

As others have said, there's a greater need for self reflection and understanding. WHY were you such a "free spirit"? You mentioned that your being a free spirit left you with hangovers. Could the drinking / partying have possibly been compensation for a deeper underlying issue?

And if you are "BASIC" make sure you've given yourself that title and not fallen prey to someone else's negative view of you. Learn to love your quirks, because until you truly accept yourself, no one else will. Chameleons get tired very quickly.
 
Fine 4s said:
@L.Brown1114

I'm confused my response/show of support was "*****y"? What Did I say To make it so? I thought I was saying he's wack and you're cool. Can someone help me out here?
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Oh okay I'm sorry I read that wrong. I thought you meant I THOUGHT I was cool. My bad lol you gotta watch people on this forum, they constantly throw shade my bad
 
frogkisses said:
Men who are struggling with life or feel as though you have something they don't will go to no end to bring down your confidence. They try to instill self doubt, because of their downfalls.
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Preach! I was in a on/off again situationship in college, and he was resentful and cheated on me because I went back to school (mind you it was senior year, and he agreed to try and make it work even though I went to school out of state). Insecure men like to hold your successes over you and manipulate you to make you feel bad for doing things to improve your life. I should have known things were doomed when he did that. Any man who says things like "you talk White" which is usually code for you speak eloquently, run! He's trying to gaslight you and make you feel bad about yourself because of his own insecurities
 
**SaSSy** said:
The guy I'm currently steady with is "vanilla" too, but I like that and he's open to trying new experiences with me.
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Mine too :)
I'm always out doing something and he just tags along making sure no one messes with me and he keeps me laughing.
Most things we do he always says "I'm not doing that" but then of course he does. He can't resist my pretty face :lachen:
 
Topsido said:
Ha, the oreo cliche. I wouldn't worry too much about him. It's called negging (sp?). It's when someone says something negative or purposefully wrong thing about you to your face so that they can get you to do what they want which is something you normally wouldn't do.
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I second that. Fck him and his bs. Next!!!
 
When I think basic I think dumb, lacking substance, someone who doesn't have much going for themselves. Calling someone basic is an insult so I am gonna hope that he didn't mean to insult you to your face like that and just used the term wrong.
 
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