Be Honest: Would You Look At Your Friend Differently

Would You View Your Friend Differently?

  • Yes

    Votes: 120 83.9%

  • No

    Votes: 23 16.1%
  • Total voters
    143
  • Poll closed .
tru4reele said:
Im sorry but I couldn't be friends with none of yall jugemental women. If you were a real friend you would talk to her and find out more about the situation. Why she is with him? What she likes about him? What he is telling her? If she is in love with this man then she may need ur emotional help. Give her your opinion. That sounds crazy for y'all to say hell naw i won't be her friend no more. Maybe if she is an associate. But my true homie...no way...we ride together forever and always. Ain't no d*ck coming between me and my girl. ESPECIALLY NONE THAT AINT EVEN MINE.
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You do realize some women will continue the affair regardless of what their friends and family think or say? Even if they realize that it might put them in a morally compromising situation (if they know the man or wife).

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tru4reele said:
Im sorry but I couldn't be friends with none of yall jugemental women. If you were a real friend you would talk to her and find out more about the situation. Why she is with him? What she likes about him? What he is telling her? If she is in love with this man then she may need ur emotional help. Give her your opinion. That sounds crazy for y'all to say hell naw i won't be her friend no more. Maybe if she is an associate. But my true homie...no way...we ride together forever and always. Ain't no d*ck coming between me and my girl. ESPECIALLY NONE THAT AINT EVEN MINE.
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Please, if she cant respect a marriage and is that grimey what makes you think peen wont come between you two? The best way I know it wont is to have friends that dont need to sink that low for any reason. I had one friend like that and I knew she was all types of things but made excuses after excuses because I was a loyal friend and believed in her. That trick showed me her behind like the crocodile she was.:yep: That's fine if you want to ride and die for folks but the only folks I ride and die for are the ones I can respect.
 
tru4reele said:
Im sorry but I couldn't be friends with none of yall jugemental women. If you were a real friend you would talk to her and find out more about the situation. Why she is with him? What she likes about him? What he is telling her? If she is in love with this man then she may need ur emotional help. Give her your opinion. That sounds crazy for y'all to say hell naw i won't be her friend no more. Maybe if she is an associate. But my true homie...no way...we ride together forever and always. Ain't no d*ck coming between me and my girl. ESPECIALLY NONE THAT AINT EVEN MINE.
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I agree with this completely. My real friend? We'd have to get to the bottom of why she was quitting on herself and settling for less than what she deserves. We'd have to discuss why she would inflict pain on a family, maybe even children. We'd have to talk, period, and I wouldn't drop her. We're FRIENDS. Real friends. Naked friends. Meaning we support the raw, unadulterated versions of ourselves at our lowest, most disgusting points in life. I expect/get the same support. A lifetime is a long time. I don't drop friends over a moment.

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I'd still care about her, but I'd be disappointed in her. I figure no one's perfect, and despite shortcomings, we all need someone in our corner, but at the same time, I wouldn't trust her with my DH.
 
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FemmeFatale said:
if you found out that she was dealing with a married man (knowingly)?
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hell yeah if you will steal............yeah yeah yeah you can't own or steal a man on lhcf but in my world that ish exists and i don't cosign you corvet what you see often and if she is your friend and you have a man............NO BOUNDARIES

The question was not if we would talk it out and be nosey cause I sure would but I would look at her differently call me Judge Judy
 
NYAmicas said:
Please, if she cant respect a marriage and is that grimey what makes you think peen wont come between you two? The best way I know it wont is to have friends that dont need to sink that low for any reason. I had one friend like that and I knew she was all types of things but made excuses after excuses because I was a loyal friend and believed in her. That trick showed me her behind like the crocodile she was.:yep: That's fine if you want to ride and die for folks but the only folks I ride and die for are the ones I can respect.
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I totally agree. My friend left me high and dry for some niggra! I had to let her arse go. What's so bad about it is that we had been best friend since we were in 1st grade. It took me to mature before I realized what a snake she was.

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Meemee6223 said:
I totally agree. My friend left me high and dry for some niggra! I had to let her arse go. What's so bad about it is that we had been best friend since we were in 1st grade. It took me to mature before I realized what a snake she was.

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That's horrible Meemee6223 & sorry you had to go through that. I recently had a friend do some grimey stuff myself that I had to drop. I read her her Miranda, told her about herself and kept it moving though the betrayal really bothered me. I took my L because looking back the signs were all there that she aint have any respect for herself or anyone else. The lesson I learned is to keep people that have some type of values and integrity about themselves that tie in with my own. Doing otherwise is like leaving a crackhead with your purse.:nono:
 
tru4reele said:
sistatv did u read my next sentence?
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Yes, darling I did read your next sentence fragment. Here's hoping you read mine. I was using sarcasm to allude to the flaw in your especially if ain't mine logic... Just because someones messed up behavior doesnt affect you directly doesn't mean it won't or can't. Someone who knowingly interrupts a marriage for love, lust, lies, or whatever else suffers from a serious lack of good judgement . Whats to stop her from falling in love with ya sistas man, ya daddy, or whoever else she just can't help falling in love with... And I say that not as some oh dear god please don't snatch up all the kangs type... I say that as a don't bring no bs to the QUEENS type.
I strongly believe I am my sisters keeper but a woman who would knowingly continue to trollop with another womans husband IS NOT my sister. That hoe gotta go.
* sent from the batphone excuse the typos*
 
I'm a little confused. what kinds of women are you guys describing? it seems as if there is:
-the no respect for thyself, consistently shady broad who cheats with the married man
&
-the good girlfriend with similar morals and values to your own who doesn't cheat (this is who you'd rather surround yourself with)

Believe it or not there are women who fall in the middle. They have morals and values. However, for whatever reason, they make that really bad choice and date a married man or one who "says" he is separated. Even if it's once. In this case, which is what I have dealt with, I did not drop her. I definitely judged her and spoke to her about her actions but didn't drop her. And she heard me out and eventually agreed because she knew better. Those values were ingrained in her. The scenarios some of y'all are describing...it seems like the writing was on the wall for a long time. Sorry but that has more to do with you sticking around rather than whether you'd drop her after she dated a married man.
 
sistatv said:
Um yes!!!

And from my High Horse I would pull one of these...
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and

tumblr_lr62uyik8b1qdlkgg.gif



Cause
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I'm sorry I just don't fuggs with no trollops...

We've all made mistakes my eye...
tumblr_lrj4darhpu1qax6b8.gif


I would also try my best to "accidentally" rat out dude with the quickness...
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What would be the point of doing the bolded? I mean why cut her off then get deeply involved in the mess by telling the wife and starting drama. Cool you don't want to be her friend but you don't sound much better than your friend running around gossiping and starting ish. Messy, very messy of you.

As they say the wife is the first to know. More than likely she already knows and you would come across just as bad as your friend by getting involved in somebody else's mess.
 
and for those that are like - "oh i'd drop her!" or "she dun b/c she comin afta my man next!!"- would you do the same and rationalize the same way if your friend cheated on her husband?
 
knt1229 said:
What would be the point of doing the bolded? I mean why cut her off then get deeply involved in the mess by telling the wife and starting drama. Messy, very messy of you.
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In this very vague hypothetical situation we've been given, I imagined I knew the husband and possibly the wife and if knew for sure it was truth... And they werent stopping. I think I would say something. Diseases and all kinds of foolishness... No sir...
But this is all hypotheticals so who knows given a situation....

Also... The person who tells is not the one being messy or starting drama... The people who are married and cheating are...



* sent from the bat phone excuse the typos! *
 
LaBelleLL said:
I'm a little confused. what kinds of women are you guys describing? it seems as if there is:
-the no respect for thyself, consistently shady broad who cheats with the married man
&
-the good girlfriend with similar morals and values to your own who doesn't cheat (this is who you'd rather surround yourself with)
Believe it or not there are women who fall in the middle. They have morals and values. However, for whatever reason, they make that really bad choice and date a married man or one who "says" he is separated. Even if it's once. In this case, which is what I have dealt with, I did not drop her. I definitely judged her and spoke to her about her actions but didn't drop her. And she heard me out and eventually agreed because she knew better. Those values were ingrained in her. The scenarios some of y'all are describing...it seems like the writing was on the wall for a long time. Sorry but that has more to do with you sticking around rather than whether you'd drop her after she dated a married man.
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From the two bolded, it's quite simple as either way they're sleeping with a married man good girl or not. I'd hear her out and explain to her that now she knows he is married she needs to drop him. If she doesnt that's not the type of friend I need around me.:yep: Obviously not everyone who gets into those types of situations are the Devil Incarnate but to choose to stay and continue in that suggests something is amiss with their character as another poster stated. Shady type people are liabilities in my book.
 
LaBelleLL said:
and for those that are like - "oh i'd drop her!" or "she dun b/c she comin afta my man next!!"- would you do the same and rationalize the same way if your friend cheated on her husband?
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I was wondering about this too...

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sistatv said:
In this very vague hypothetical situation we've been given, I imagined I knew the husband and possibly the wife and if knew for sure it was truth... And they werent stopping. I think I would say something. Diseases and all kinds of foolishness... No sir...
But this is all hypotheticals so who knows given a situation....

Also... The person who tells is not the one being messy or starting drama... The people who are married and cheating are...



* sent from the bat phone excuse the typos! *
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I can't understand how being gossipy is better than being a cheater. To me they both indicate problems with integrity, discretion, and decision-nmaking.
 
NYAmicas said:
From the two bolded, it's quite simple as either way they're sleeping with a married man good girl or not. I'd hear her out and explain to her that now she knows he is married she needs to drop him. If she doesnt that's not the type of friend I need around me.:yep: Obviously not everyone who gets into those types of situations are the Devil Incarnate but to choose to stay and continue in that suggests something is amiss with their character as another poster stated. Shady type people are liabilities in my book.
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ok so you'd drop her after she didn't stop seeing the married man. i didn't quite catch that from some earlier posts. i didn't realize she had to cheat repeatedly for her to get the boot.

and what about your friend who was cheating on her husband? would you drop her after she met up with the poolboy (à la Kris Jenner :lol:) for a second time after you told her it was wrong to cheat on her husband?
 
LaBelleLL said:
ok so you'd drop her after she didn't stop seeing the married man. i didn't quite catch that from some earlier posts. i didn't realize she had to cheat repeatedly for her to get the boot.

and what about your friend who was cheating on her husband? would you drop her after she met up with the poolboy (à la Kris Jenner :lol:) for a second time after you told her it was wrong to cheat on her husband?
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I didnt realize I had to state how many times she needed to sleep with the married man as I was simply answering the question. Usually by the time your friend is telling you about something like that it's already been going on I'd imagine and I doubt she'd be quitting just based off my opinion.

For the friend who was cheating on her husband? If he's abusing her, she cant leave, or he's cheating then I'd understand. Otherwise, I dont need that around me either.
 
fifi134 said:
Real friends tell their friends the truth, so yes, I would tell her regardless of if she thought I was judging her.
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ITA. I'm not sure if I would drop her immediately though. If I felt like her situation/foolishness started wearing on my spirit, then I would have to tell her what time it is. I wouldn't want to hear anything about the inner workings of their relationship.....it's too much.

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I'm loyal to my friend and will look out for her best interests. Her interests would NOT include dating/sexing a married man so I'd voice my opinion and let her know that I do not approve.

I would not kick her to the curb. I probably wouldn't hang with her as much until she got herself together.
 
I'm sorry but after growing up and seeing the hurt and pain infidelity causes in a home, I can't sit smiling next to someone I KNOW is dealing with a married man. YES, the man is the one stepping out on his marriage and breaking his vows, not the side piece. But the day the wife decides to do something crazy like send someone to splash acid on ol' girl's face, you the good friend gon' be in the passenger seat and get splashed by association :nono:

I know a lady who has no qualms sexing other people's husbands and she proudly says it to all who will listen (for what it's worth she's close to 400lbs and had a really rough upbringing so I know she has issues). She attends our church ( yes, there every Sunday) and while I try to get her help with going to school and stuff, my cousin would go out with her to clubs and stuff with her married boos.She has two sons and she would help them with school work, take them shopping for clothes, etc. because the woman has no family in this state. She said she couldn't judge her and everyone does things for different reasons :blah:

Well, at the time my cousin was engaged and she is no longer engaged. Ol' girl smashed her homie and told her right in her face the next day. When she got mad and tried to fight her, she gave her a big ol' Kanye shrug :nono:
 
My best friend did it and is now married to the guy.

Although he did pull that seperated thing (lying) at the start.

I was salty with her at the beggining and stopped talking to her. Then towards the end when the wife was trying to befriend her more and more.

Apart from that I accepted her situation eventually, although I had no true sympathy for the drama it caused and is still causing.

In terms of men in general I've known her for 10 years & no man has ever come between us, or any other of her friends.
 
If you knowingly sleep with it even just entertain a married man I'm going to drop back. If you come to your senses quickly I might be able to still respect you enough to be your friend.

If you are my married friend, and I fight out you are stepping out on your mate I am again dropping back.
 
Thank you LabelleL

I was thinking the same thing. One character seems super extreme. Like, a messed up, consistently trifling skank or a law-abiding, good angel. Sometimes-- often-- NORMAL people make mistakes.

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I'd view their judgment and values differently, yes. I'd still love them and be their friend, and try to talk to them about their behavior and hope they make better choices.
 
Interesting responses..from what I have observed, there is an unwritten woman code somewhere (outside of the bible, lol) that states that we should not be sleeping with married men and most women feel violated and take personal offense to the act even if it has absolutely nothing to do with them.
 
HauteHippie said:
Thank you @LabelleL

I was thinking the same thing. One character seems super extreme. Like, a messed up, consistently trifling skank or a law-abiding, good angel. Sometimes-- often-- NORMAL people make mistakes.

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Exactly. The people that are being described aren't the ones who are in the middle. It's amazing to see how threatened women feel by other women, even when they do something that has nothing to do with them just yet. To be honest, if I had a friend that cheated with a married man, i'd imagine both my husband and I would give her the side eye. And we would both judge her. But what do I know? I'm not married yet so perhaps i'll turn into someone who will fiercely want to protect my marriage and my husband from what I perceive to be temptation? I haven't a clue.

But hey in the end, do what works for you. It just happens that people that I call my friends, I love. It would take a lot more than them cheating with a married man for me to just drop them. And vice versa. If they were cheating on their own husbands.
 
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