At which point do you start thinking about marriage? when do you bring it up?

[kismettt]

I was wondering at which point in your relationship do you imagine marrying him? Do you ever say anything? Do you wait for him to say it first?

With my ex I started thinking about it after we had been officially together for two weeks (o no), didn't say a word. Got burned & dumped.
With my current SO, I only started thinking about it recently. Mostly because I forced myself to not think about it so that I couldn't get my hopes up (i guess). We have talked about it. He had me at "I think you could be the last girl I ever date". Which is scary as hell. I'm 18. But him saying that has allowed me to think about the possibility.

 

[Nayeli]

Mmmmm, this is definitely something that differs from one relationship to another I believe.

I started thinking about marriage when I realized that my SO had proven to me that he has the qualities, characteristics and potential that will make for my idea of a successful marriage - took me some months.

If I were with a man for a while and I wanted to know about the general direction of the relationship, I would have no problem discussing it. OP, the fact that he's talking about it is a good sign - I think it's indicative of his desire for a long term relationship with you.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I let people know before hand that I'm looking for a husband that way I don't have to deal with guys who aren't looking for a wife.

At 18 that sounds a bit young. Lay back and let him prove he is husband material. Don't let him put these ideas in your head so that it's like he is looking at you to size you up. Lots of guys do this to get girls excited next thing you know you don't want to say anything about the things that start annoying you because you don't want to mess up the status he just gave you.

Step back and see if he is mature enough to be done with a single social life. Can he support of help support a family? Get your "are you good enough for me" list out and measure.

You are the one who gets to put him on. Not the other way around.

Don't be down with him. Let him PROVE he is good enough to be down with you.

 

[Amour]

I let people know before hand that I'm looking for a husband that way I don't have to deal with guys who aren't looking for a wife.

At 18 that sounds a bit young. Lay back and let him prove he is husband material. Don't let him put these ideas in your head so that it's like he is looking at you to size you up. Lots of guys do this to get girls excited next thing you know you don't want to say anything about the things that start annoying you because you don't want to mess up the status he just gave you.

Step back and see if he is mature enough to be done with a single social life. Can he support of help support a family? Get your "are you good enough for me" list out and measure.

You are the one who gets to put him on. Not the other way around.

Don't be down with him. Let him PROVE he is good enough to be down with you.

good post

 

[kismettt]

i'm definitely not that person, I would never be pacified by that. It simply made me reconsider where we our relationship is going (it has been a year). I'm also a senior in college, so yes, I am young, but I also am very much ahead.

thanks for your post.

I let people know before hand that I'm looking for a husband that way I don't have to deal with guys who aren't looking for a wife.

At 18 that sounds a bit young. Lay back and let him prove he is husband material. Don't let him put these ideas in your head so that it's like he is looking at you to size you up. Lots of guys do this to get girls excited next thing you know you don't want to say anything about the things that start annoying you because you don't want to mess up the status he just gave you.

Step back and see if he is mature enough to be done with a single social life. Can he support of help support a family? Get your "are you good enough for me" list out and measure.

You are the one who gets to put him on. Not the other way around.

Don't be down with him. Let him PROVE he is good enough to be down with you.

 

[LivingDoll]

i'm definitely not that person, I would never be pacified by that. It simply made me reconsider where we our relationship is going (it has been a year). I'm also a senior in college, so yes, I am young, but I also am very much ahead.

thanks for your post.

Wow, you're a college senior at 18??? That's remarkable.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Well I never thought I'd want to be married. After getting out of an abusive relationship, I was just happy to be alive and free.

When I started going out with my husband, I knew. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And this was barely after a couple of months of dating. I think he knew too b/c he would always say things like he wanted to take care of me and DD and he could be with me forever, etc. Mind you, DH isn't the most direct person! LOL. He did ask me to move in with him after about 5 months of being exclusive and I said yes. We bought a condo together.

Before we even moved in, I just came out and asked him:" "Do you want to get married?" You shoulda seen the look on DH's face. I guess I ruined it for him b/c he was planning to ask me (but he had this whole elaborate plan, etc). So I didn't get a "real" proposal like DD says, he didn't get down on one knee, blah blah blah. But whatever. I think we both knew early on that we wanted to be together......

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

It is. and I"m jealous! LOL. you go girl!

Wow, you're a college senior at 18??? That's remarkable.

 

[Radianthealth]

I never really thought about marriage because we got together when I was 18. Marriage wasn't on my mind. He was the one to always bring it up

 

[TayMac]

Depends. I will exclude a guy as non marriage material early on. It usually doesn't come up until we start discussing future goals and ambitions and I find if he is marriage-minded or just going with the flow.