Ask a Natural/Ask a Relaxed...questions that you are too embarassed to ask...

Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

No, I do not regret going natural. It was the best decision I've made in my adult life. Since 2005, I went back to relaxed hair twice, and both times, I got frustrated with relaxed hair and went back to natural via Big Chop even though I had no idea how to take care of my natural hair. It was just like, even though my natural hair wasn't well taken care, and I felt the need to hide it all the time, something deep down in me knew that my natural hair was just right.

Both times I relaxed, I did feel like a failure for turning back. I could not understand why I didn't know what to do with my own hair. My patience and will paid off.
 
I have a simple question for the relaxed women. Can your hair still hold together at the ends if you do something like twists?


Mine stays sometimes. I think I have been texlaxing for years though so I still have some texture to my hair. I have NEVER relaxed my hair bone straight so maybe that has something to do with it.

BTW. I WANT YOUR HAIR. :grin: You and my dd have similar hair and i envy y'all, but will admit to being toooo lazy to transition and my head it too lumpy for a BC
 
Natural- What do you do when your hair creates so many knots its not funny?!?! My hair curls onto itself creating single, double, triple (and keep going) knots. I try to detangle daily or every coupla days and nothing helps. Am I resigned to twists only forever as a natural?!?!

first started out natural I used the same products that I did when I was relaxed. This cause much damage and the knots. My hair was super dry. It wasn't until I chucked the other stuff and got new products that worked that finally stop seeing the knots.

I also changed my routine. I was so rough on my natural hair at first. I stopped doing most of the healthy practices that I did when I was relaxed.

Now, I pre-poo before I shampoo (religiously). I section off my hair before I apply the shampoo and I only put it on the scalp. I deep conditioner for at least 45 mins. with only conditioner that I know work. I leave in conditioner or immediately apply moisturizer to my hair. I dust regularly (usually I wear my natural hair in twists and they last for months. I don't trim every week.)

This week I had a big setback because I did not detangle after I took out my twists. Big mistake. My hair is knotting so much. I don't know how people can go w/o combing their hair.
 
I don't think I've ever truly regretted it. I did go through sooo many frustrating periods though. I hated the shortness, the thickness, the lack of styles, the knots etc. I wondered if being relaxed would combat those issues but then I referred myself back to this picture..

:dighole:

Yeah i have a couple of pics like that somewhere, feels good to not be there anymore lol.


I am transitioning by the way and I am hating every minute of it. the only thing i enjoy is playing wiith my new growth
 
Hello ladies,

Q1. Naturals, with all the moisturizing that you do (or wash n go's), do you ever leave "grease" stains on your furniture or your car seats? This is one of the many reasons why I am not anticipating my chop. The "coming to America" look is not happening in these streets...

Yes I leave these oil marks. When I'm on the bus and lean my head on the glass window, I usually raise my head to check cuz I just KNOW it's there and YEP :yep: there it is a big ol' smear....I use shea butter on my hair. I suspect the same thing will happen when I finally switch to the QG Amla & Heavy...Guess my hair's not absorbing jack!

I don't notice anything on my pillowcase or on other natural fabrics.
A lil' embarrassing but eih, oh well, I got long huuuurrr....

I need to use what these naturals are using...
 
Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

Q2: Relaxed heads, do you ever just with there was an easier way to just instantly be natural, but you keep up the relaxed hair just because of the long exhaustive process of transitioning or BCing and waiting for your length to grow back? Do you feel bad that you just can't go through all it takes to go natural?


BTW: I am relaxed and have threatened to go natural several times. still relaxed though.

Good question. Yes I do sometimes wish it were easier to transition ( I will NEVER BC). But i don't have enough faith that I will know how to handle natural hair. I wish it could be this same length natural. But at the same time, i love the straight look and would probably wear it straight 90% of the time via heat usage or BKT. So it makes me wonder, would it really be that much healthier for me to go natural? :scratchch
 
Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"
 
I would say she is not ready to transition yet. If she does not like any of the styles that are achievable with afro-textured hair and pressing is not the option, this is not the time for her. She even says she is not sure she doesn't want to be relaxed anymore.

She should give it time, and maybe look for natural styles she does like. The mental transition is the hardest part, and it takes time to discover the beauty in natural hair and the styles it can achieve.

Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"
 
Natural- What do you do when your hair creates so many knots its not funny?!?! My hair curls onto itself creating single, double, triple (and keep going) knots. I try to detangle daily or every coupla days and nothing helps. Am I resigned to twists only forever as a natural?!?!
Argh, pixie/fairy knots...comes with the natural territory...they say upping moisture is KEY, and it may also be a sign that you may need a trim. :)

NATURALS, especially those who have hair TOO SHORT TO TWIST/PUT IN CHUNKY BRAIDS before bedtime: How do you prevent MAT? :perplexed:lachen: I go to bed and wake up with a mowhawk; flat on either side, puffy and sticking straight up in the middle! :lachen:
 
If your hair can take baggying, that might help. I did that before I started wearing my hair in large twists. The moisture just helps the hair keep its shape.

Argh, pixie/fairy knots...comes with the natural territory...they say upping moisture is KEY, and it may also be a sign that you may need a trim. :)

NATURALS, especially those who have hair TOO SHORT TO TWIST/PUT IN CHUNKY BRAIDS before bedtime: How do you prevent MAT? :perplexed:lachen: I go to bed and wake up with a mowhawk; flat on either side, puffy and sticking straight up in the middle! :lachen:
 
I have a simple question for the relaxed women. Can your hair still hold together at the ends if you do something like twists?

My relaxed ends come right undone...I twist the whole length of my hair put on shea butter mix and IMMEDIATELY roll...it's a pain...
 
If your hair can take baggying, that might help. I did that before I started wearing my hair in large twists. The moisture just helps the hair keep its shape.

You know, baggying used to help my hair thrive as a relaxed...It just loves water/and DOES need more moisture, so I'll try that, thank you!

What products did you use before baggying?
 
It would vary. Sometimes, I would use either cholesterol or Giovanni's Direct Leave-In. Other times, I would just baggy with no product as suggested by Nonie.

You know, baggying used to help my hair thrive as a relaxed...It just loves water/and DOES need more moisture, so I'll try that, thank you!

What products did you use before baggying?
 
Naturals,
I am transitioning to natural. So would I have keep the same weekly shampoo routine? I've read where naturals don't have to shampoo as often though.

My Weekly Routine:
1. Separate hair into 4 or 6 sections w/ long scrunci clamps
2. Prepoo scalp and hair alternating protein and moisture
3. Shampoo diluted heavily with water (Thanks Kami & Chicoro)
4. Deep condition mixing in 1 tbsp EVOO, JBCO & honey and apply onto hair in sections using conditioning cap and sit under dryer for 20-30 mins
5. Let DC cool, add more conditioner and get into shower. Gently detangle one section at a time with running water and shower comb
6. Use Roux Porosity Control as my final rinse
7. Rollerset:
- Using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and sometimes oil my wet ends then airdry
- Keep style using 6 flexirods or sleep in baggy and wear hair out during the day
8. Buns:
- Scarf method with using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and always oil my wet ends then airdry. (Thanks Sylver2)
9. Moisturize with Nexxus humectin conditioner sometimes mixed w/ NTM silk touch then seal with 100% pure jojoba, coconut, JBCO, grapeseed, sweet almond or olive oil as needed
10. Baggy every night when bunning
11. Once monthly I steam flat iron or do braidouts
 
Argh, pixie/fairy knots...comes with the natural territory...they say upping moisture is KEY, and it may also be a sign that you may need a trim. :)

NATURALS, especially those who have hair TOO SHORT TO TWIST/PUT IN CHUNKY BRAIDS before bedtime: How do you prevent MAT? :perplexed:lachen: I go to bed and wake up with a mowhawk; flat on either side, puffy and sticking straight up in the middle! :lachen:

See thats my issue, my hair is too short to put in chunky anything to stretch it overnight to wear loose the next day! I just BC'D so I don't see how I could need another trim. I've got some good answers but at my length, I guess I'll be wearing wigs over my twists (the twists are not good enough to wear out!) to avoid taking a trip to Knots City!:ohwell:
 
See thats my issue, my hair is too short to put in chunky anything to stretch it overnight to wear loose the next day! I just BC'D so I don't see how I could need another trim. I've got some good answers but at my length, I guess I'll be wearing wigs over my twists (the twists are not good enough to wear out!) to avoid taking a trip to Knots City!:ohwell:
I guess you can try upping the moisture and baggying at night, as was suggested to me. If your hair was good with baggying while relaxed, it should be fine (as long as it isn't drenched) natural. :)
 
Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?
I've been natural 2 times with not good results, and this is mt third one and i'm loving it. The first 2 times i wasn't sure of beeing natural, so i turned back to relax my hair again. Now, that i did the BC because i wanted to, i just love it, and i don't imagine going back, but in the case i do it in a future, i will not consider myself a failure or anything like that. Natural or relaxed, if the hair is beautiful and healthy, is ok for me.
 
It depends. Everyone is different. There are naturals who still shampoo weekly, and there are relaxed heads who do not shampoo.

It really depends on how much product you use and how your hair feels. If your use a lot of product, than I think weekly shampooing is a good idea. You use a prepoo, and you dilute your shampoo. You should be fine!

Naturals,
I am transitioning to natural. So would I have keep the same weekly shampoo routine? I've read where naturals don't have to shampoo as often though.

My Weekly Routine:
1. Separate hair into 4 or 6 sections w/ long scrunci clamps
2. Prepoo scalp and hair alternating protein and moisture
3. Shampoo diluted heavily with water (Thanks Kami & Chicoro)
4. Deep condition mixing in 1 tbsp EVOO, JBCO & honey and apply onto hair in sections using conditioning cap and sit under dryer for 20-30 mins
5. Let DC cool, add more conditioner and get into shower. Gently detangle one section at a time with running water and shower comb
6. Use Roux Porosity Control as my final rinse
7. Rollerset:
- Using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and sometimes oil my wet ends then airdry
- Keep style using 6 flexirods or sleep in baggy and wear hair out during the day
8. Buns:
- Scarf method with using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and always oil my wet ends then airdry. (Thanks Sylver2)
9. Moisturize with Nexxus humectin conditioner sometimes mixed w/ NTM silk touch then seal with 100% pure jojoba, coconut, JBCO, grapeseed, sweet almond or olive oil as needed
10. Baggy every night when bunning
11. Once monthly I steam flat iron or do braidouts
 
Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"

I don't think any natural needs to do puffs, cornrows, afros, twists etc if they don't want to. I don't do cornrows, box-braids or twists. I did braid extensions because they were a means to an end.

There are a lot of naturals who just do braid-outs, twist-outs, flat-twist outs, wash and go's (maybe that's too much of a "natural style" though?) and buns. You can do an updo with a braid-out, flat-twist out or twist-out or pin it in different ways etc. I think there are a lot of variations within those styles (and buns too).

Tell her to check out:
http://public.fotki.com/velvethalo/
http://public.fotki.com/lifesacatwalk/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17bikfURvOU&feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/curlychronicles
 
Naturals,
I am transitioning to natural. So would I have keep the same weekly shampoo routine? I've read where naturals don't have to shampoo as often though.

My Weekly Routine:
1. Separate hair into 4 or 6 sections w/ long scrunci clamps
2. Prepoo scalp and hair alternating protein and moisture
3. Shampoo diluted heavily with water (Thanks Kami & Chicoro)
4. Deep condition mixing in 1 tbsp EVOO, JBCO & honey and apply onto hair in sections using conditioning cap and sit under dryer for 20-30 mins
5. Let DC cool, add more conditioner and get into shower. Gently detangle one section at a time with running water and shower comb
6. Use Roux Porosity Control as my final rinse
7. Rollerset:
- Using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and sometimes oil my wet ends then airdry
- Keep style using 6 flexirods or sleep in baggy and wear hair out during the day
8. Buns:
- Scarf method with using Chi Keratin Mist, Lacio Lacio & KeraCare leave-in, setting lotion, and always oil my wet ends then airdry. (Thanks Sylver2)
9. Moisturize with Nexxus humectin conditioner sometimes mixed w/ NTM silk touch then seal with 100% pure jojoba, coconut, JBCO, grapeseed, sweet almond or olive oil as needed
10. Baggy every night when bunning
11. Once monthly I steam flat iron or do braidouts

As the other girl told you, it going to depend on your hair. what does it wants to?.
Speaking of myself, i don't shampoo a lot because my hair is very dry and everytime i shampoo, i feel it dryer than normal (and i have to DC and Moisturize more than normal) :drunk:
I still shampoo every 15 to 25 days, or everytime i use a hard-to-clean treatment that sticks too much in my hair.

But is up to you, you will find what is better to your hair once you are fully natural.

Good Luck!!
 
:dighole:

Yeah i have a couple of pics like that somewhere, feels good to not be there anymore lol.


I am transitioning by the way and I am hating every minute of it. the only thing i enjoy is playing wiith my new growth


Lol. It sure does, that's the only way I can share them :lol:. When I notice myself complaining about styles, length etc, I take a lot at that picture. Very humbling.

Good luck with your transition - the pay-off when it's all over will make the process so worth it!
 
Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"


i dont really like "natural" styles either. you will never see me in twists, cornrows, braids, frohawks, or anything of the sort. but im sure that i dont want to ever relax my hair. even i if eventually decide i like straight hair better i would flatiron my hair a couple times a months rather than get a relaxer.

the good thing about being natural is that there ARE so many styles out there. so you def dont have to like them all. just experiment with the ones you do.

though i live in canada it can get very very humid here and a natural pressed/flatironned style could burst into an afro within minutes! however if you find the right product you be surprised that you can infact have a natural straight style last for days in the most hot humid weather. :)
 
Q1. Naturals, with all the moisturizing that you do (or wash n go's), do you ever leave "grease" stains on your furniture or your car seats? This is one of the many reasons why I am not anticipating my chop. The "coming to America" look is not happening in these streets...

I use coconut oil from head to toe, no grease stains. Yeah, RIGHT after I put it on, it's a little oily, but it absorbs and is nice and non -greasy in a short time.

My bf thinks it's amazing that I'm always putting conditioner and oil in my hair, but my hair never feels greasy to the touch. :yep:



Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

I have regretted BCing sooner than I wanted to because I miss the length, but I don't regret the fact that I'm natural.

I would probably feel like a failure if I relaxed though :lol: I don't have the desire to be relaxed at all.

Natural- What do you do when your hair creates so many knots its not funny?!?! My hair curls onto itself creating single, double, triple (and keep going) knots. I try to detangle daily or every coupla days and nothing helps. Am I resigned to twists only forever as a natural?!?!

Trim those badboys off if they take over.

Right after I BC'd, I did too many wash n goes and developed tons of them.

Having some knots is unavoidable, but if it gets out of control, I think it's best to cut them.

They catch lint and shed hair and create tangles for me. Stretching the hair after washing keeps them minimal. I now only occasionally do a wash n go.


Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"

I wear twistouts/braidouts 95% of the time. (I like other styles, but I'm waiting until I have more hair to experiment with)

Natural hair has a lot of variety. I see naturals who do beautiful rollersets :lovedrool:

There are plenty of styles you can do with natural hair. :yep: Go on youtube or fotki and search natural hair. SO much variety.
 
Hello ladies,

Q1. Naturals, with all the moisturizing that you do (or wash n go's), do you ever leave "grease" stains on your furniture or your car seats? This is one of the many reasons why I am not anticipating my chop. The "coming to America" look is not happening in these streets...

Firstly, GREAT topic :)!

To address your question, no I don't leave grease stains. I only use a little moisturizer once a day. I deep condition weekly and my hair stays in twists and twist outs. Twisting my hair definitely helps my hair remain moist. I usually use braid spray to moisturize while my hair is twisted. I also use a small amount of Abba Pure Gentle Leave-in Conditioner 1-2 times a week. Using a creamy leave-in or a heavy moisturizer daily will leave my hair feeling weighed down. I like my twists and twistouts to remain light and fluffy until wash day. I have no problems with dryness at all.

Before becoming natural, I thought that would need to moisturizer 2 times a day plus sealing with oil but I realized all of that was not necessary for my hair. I don't use oil in my hair because I don't need it. My hair retains moisture w/o the need to seal. HTH :)!
 
Thanks girls.

Q3. For natural ladies, does your regimine change with the seasons?

Not yet. Now that the weather is cooler, my regimen still has not changed and I haven't had any issues with dryness. This winter will be my first winter as a natural and I honestly don't think I'll be changing anything. I plan to wear hats to keep my hair protected from the cool air. Other than that, I will continue washing and deep conditioning once a week as I've been doing since I've become natural.
 
Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"

i agree with whoever said check out YT and other natural hair tutorials for hairstyle varieties. it doesn't always have to be puffs, and afros. also, i was thinking if she likes the "straighter" looks most of the time, but doesn't want to relax, maybe she can try a BKT (at her own risk). Therefore she can still have some of the advantages of relaxed hair.


ETA: I have a question for the naturals (yes it's dumb too :giggle:).. but how do you "stretch" your hair. I hear a lot of y'all saying that y'all stretch the hair to prevent knots, or stretching after washing, and etc. But how exactly do you do it? do you make a big braid? :perplexed
 
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Q1: Naturals, do you ever regret going natural, but keep it up because of the long process of having gone natural and finally seeing totally natural hair? Do you feel like you'd be a failure for turning back?

No, those thoughts have not crossed my mind. Once I BC'd, I've been in love with my hair and love it more as it continues to grow. I love my natural hair alot more than my relaxed hair. I feel like I can do alot more with my natural hair. I also like that my hair is soo much more thicker and healthier.
 
Okay ladies. Here's a question that I got from a family member of mine who is too cheap to pay for a subscription. :look: Okay, I'm kidding but she feels content in lurking so I'm fine with that too.

This question may not be for the faint at heart.

Question: "What if I don't like "natural styes?" Puffs, cornrows, afros, twists (kept in), single braids and so on. I only like braidouts and twistouts styles where I can wear my hair down. However, I want to transition so I can free my scalp from relaxers. I'm not even sure I do not want to be relaxed anymore, I just know I want to live a chemical-free lifestyle. Pressing wouldn't work for me because I live in a very humid location in the south. Should I go natural? Or do I HAVE to like natural styles in order to be natural?"


I wear my hair in braid-outs, knot-outs or twist outs 99% of the time. The other 1% is split between puffs, twists, and flat-ironed styles.
 
i agree with whoever said check out YT and other natural hair tutorials for hairstyle varieties. it doesn't always have to be puffs, and afros. also, i was thinking if she likes the "straighter" looks most of the time, but doesn't want to relax, maybe she can try a BKT (at her own risk). Therefore she can still have some of the advantages of relaxed hair.


ETA: I have a question for the naturals (yes it's dumb too :giggle:).. but how do you "stretch" your hair. I hear a lot of y'all saying that y'all stretch the hair to prevent knots, or stretching after washing, and etc. But how exactly do you do it? do you make a big braid? :perplexed

I band my hair to stretch. If you've seen a banded ponytail (a few bands are placed along the length of the pony), I basically just do that on about 8 or more sections for a "band-out". If I want to stretch my hair but still retain some coils, I do less sections and only use one non-metal hairband throughout the length of the section. You can band with cloth too; Naturaline has an example here.

I don't like using twists (unless I do 4-6), braids, bantus etc to stretch because it doesn't stretch the hair as much. I hope that made sense.
 
ETA: I have a question for the naturals (yes it's dumb too :giggle:).. but how do you "stretch" your hair. I hear a lot of y'all saying that y'all stretch the hair to prevent knots, or stretching after washing, and etc. But how exactly do you do it? do you make a big braid? :perplexed

I usually make several braids/plaits throughout my hair to stretch my hair.


Naturals I have a few questions:

1) For those that baggy, have you had any problems with your hair becoming over moisturized?

2) For those that never use heat, do you still get split ends?

3) Do you trim your hair? If so, how often do you trim?
 
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