Are your guy friends having a hard time finding a serious relationship?

[SincerelyJane]

Several of mine claim they are. And they are pretty eligible, at least on paper. They have decent personalities.

I just find it hard to believe because I meet so many cool black women who are open to dating black men. So when my friends complain about trying to find one, I'm like "What are you talking about?" lol.

Anyone hear this from the single men in their life?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I've never heard this one, usually they have the option but not ready.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I've never heard this in my life....

I know a lot of men that claim that it's hard to find the RIGHT woman, but I've never heard a man say that it's hard to find a gf/or even a black woman to date. Never heard that...

 

[LiftedUp]

Yes.

Except that because they're guys they actively seek out women.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Yes... My cousin and my male best friend. But the funny thing about both of them is that they say they are content with dating around until "she" shows up. So at times they seem pressed and then they don't. By the way my cousin who is 35 is more concerned about it than my 48 yr old friend. But what they do have in common is both of them lost the love of their life's and were previously in long term relationships so I concluded that men who often go through this are long term relationship types.

As per a lot of acquaintances, more and more women are becoming as trife as men, sleeping around with everybody, having alterior motives for dating like being after someone's money, cheating, etc. So while their may be a lot more women to men, maybe that means it's even harder to find "the one" .....men are getting a toxic dose of their own medicine....although many would never admit.

 

[Aviah]

I have a male frind who I used to work with that always said the same thing. He was early 30s, decent career, not great looking but not ugly, and a cool dude. He just really wanted to get married and have a family and was having a hard time finding someone.

 

[Fine 4s]

Yes but he'd mentally ill... Never from non-sick men.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

I talked to a couple of single guys recently who told me that. I was skeptical...as we're in Atlanta and the ratio must be something like 10:1 in their favour.

They said that there's quantity but quality is hard to find. These guys were 30s-40s age range....they both seemed open to women with older children, and both wanted a woman who "took care of herself" ( from the context of the conversation I took that to mean someone who works out and is in relatively good shape...)

 

[ChasingBliss]

I find a lot of times when guys are saying this...it's the woman they're talking to that they really want. Meaning if he's telling you, he is telling YOU for a reason. My cousin told me that.

 

[fasika]

I've known a few men in the past who were like that. Mostly 35+ men with professional careers. From what I could see, their problem was that their expectations of their 'dream woman' were ridiculous. Once they came back down to Earth, they all got married

 

[NijaG]

I've known a few men in the past who were like that. Mostly 35+ men with professional careers. From what I could see, their problem was that their expectations of their 'dream woman' were ridiculous. Once they came back down to Earth, they all got married

I was about to post something similar.

I know a few guys who have similar complaints. They may consciously think they are, they may say that's what they want, but their actions almost always prove otherwise.

 

[Maynard]

The only men I know who are saying this are over 40, live together and moved from Ohio to Atlanta.

They claim in a city with ALL of these women, neither one can find a suitable women.

:blink:

 

[cutiebe2]

I know a guy who is single, educated, making amazing money, under 30. Its not that he has trouble meeting women but getting to the relationship part is another thing. He seems to want a serious relationship.

I think his problem is he find a girl, and tries to make her the one. Not every woman wants a relationship, especially in their early-mid 20s. He will be okay though lol.

 

[aribell]

I've heard this. I do think it ends up being a compatibility issue for those looking for marriage. If they said they couldn't get even a date at all, then I'd be a little skeptical or think it was them.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I talked to a couple of single guys recently who told me that. I was skeptical...as we're in Atlanta and the ratio must be something like 10:1 in their favour.

They said that there's quantity but quality is hard to find. These guys were 30s-40s age range....they both seemed open to women with older children, and both wanted a woman who "took care of herself" ( from the context of the conversation I took that to mean someone who works out and is in relatively good shape...)

Now I've DEFINITELY heard a few guy friends mention this to me. They SWEAR to me that to women it just LOOKS like men have more "options" since there are so many women compared to men, but they swear that finding a GOOD quality woman is VERY rare.

They have told me that finding a woman that you're attracted to, interested in, who is also a GOOD person, has a good head on her shoulders, is responsible, and also a woman who is wife material and who they would ALSO want to be the mother of THEIR children is extremely HARD. erplexed

I can see how that could be the case.


Sometimes we women think that the grass is always greener on the other side, but in reality....sometimes it's not.

 

[Lucie]

Yes, I have. But normally the woman they like are not good for them. And the ones that are good for them, they don't like.

 

[jeanghrey]

Yes, I have. But normally the woman they like are not good for them. And the ones that are good for them, they don't like.

Can't the same be said of women?

 

[janiebaby]

Now I've DEFINITELY heard a few guy friends mention this to me. They SWEAR to me that to women it just LOOKS like men have more "options" since there are so many women compared to men, but they swear that finding a GOOD quality woman is VERY rare.

They have told me that finding a woman that you're attracted to, interested in, who is also a GOOD person, has a good head on her shoulders, is responsible, and also a woman who is wife material and who they would ALSO want to be the mother of THEIR children is extremely HARD. erplexed

I can see how that could be the case.


Sometimes we women think that the grass is always greener on the other side, but in reality....sometimes it's not.

Sounds like the exact same thing women are complaining about. You're right, the grass may not be greener.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Another thing I just remembered...my daughter's father (we have loooong since separated) lives out in South Carolina. He told me that he is having a hard time finding a committed relationship. His exact words were, "most women these days just want to be F buddies." They dont want to be exclusive. Digressing here but I remember one word coming to mind....KARMA... It came for you in this life dun.

 

[Lucie]

Can't the same be said of women?

Yes, but this thread is about men having a hard time.

 

[Browndilocks]

I've known a few men in the past who were like that. Mostly 35+ men with professional careers. From what I could see, their problem was that their expectations of their 'dream woman' were ridiculous. Once they came back down to Earth, they all got married

This. Quite often these men think they're so perfect and God's gift to women, and anyone would feel lucky to be with them. So they raise the bar so high that they can't reach it themselves.

 

[ChasingBliss]

This. Quite often these men think they're so perfect and God's gift to women, and anyone would feel lucky to be with them. So they raise the bar so high that they can't reach it themselves.

Didnt somebody post a thread on here a while back about these men talking about the rediculous things they want out of a woman in order for her to fit the bill. It was like some type of group discussion. She had to do everything, be everything and look better than everything and do it all like a pro. Just re-damn-diculous.

 

[SincerelyJane]

Yes but he'd mentally ill... Never from non-sick men.

Wow. Yeah, I can see how he'd have a tough time!

I find a lot of times when guys are saying this...it's the woman they're talking to that they really want. Meaning if he's telling you, he is telling YOU for a reason. My cousin told me that.

Lol this is funny. But an interesting thought. I'll ponder on it.

I've known a few men in the past who were like that. Mostly 35+ men with professional careers. From what I could see, their problem was that their expectations of their 'dream woman' were ridiculous. Once they came back down to Earth, they all got married

Interesting. I guess I never inquired on their dream women specifications. I just took what they said at face value. Do you mind sharing some of the ridiculous expectations that you've seen? fasika

I know a guy who is single, educated, making amazing money, under 30. Its not that he has trouble meeting women but getting to the relationship part is another thing. He seems to want a serious relationship.

I think his problem is he find a girl, and tries to make her the one. Not every woman wants a relationship, especially in their early-mid 20s. He will be okay though lol.

Yes, this I have seem. Sometimes guys who are peri-30, will try to wife up these really young girls who are just not there mentally. I see this pretty often actually. I've been the woman in this situation myself now that I think about it

Now I've DEFINITELY heard a few guy friends mention this to me. They SWEAR to me that to women it just LOOKS like men have more "options" since there are so many women compared to men, but they swear that finding a GOOD quality woman is VERY rare.

They have told me that finding a woman that you're attracted to, interested in, who is also a GOOD person, has a good head on her shoulders, is responsible, and also a woman who is wife material and who they would ALSO want to be the mother of THEIR children is extremely HARD. erplexed

I can see how that could be the case.


Sometimes we women think that the grass is always greener on the other side, but in reality....sometimes it's not.

I think finding a great partner is hard for anyone. Now that I really think about it, I'm not even sure these guys are really having such a hard time per se, but they just had funthrough out most of their twenties and then assumed whenever they were ready a perfect girl would fall into their lap . Now they just have to go through kissing a few toadettes to before finding the one. Which is perfectly normal!

 

[nlamr2013]

Lol at Black women open to dating black men. I do the working just tickled me.
Uhm I know many black men engaged married or seriously bood up

 

[DarkJoy]

I have had men tell me this. All of them want a 10 when they're a 4. That score could be their looks, financial situation, mental condition or a mix.

 

[Browndilocks]

^^^ I don't recall any guys like that. Most of them really do have it going on in one way or the other. As mentioned, they just have to come back down to earth. They get over it eventually.

Sidenote: have you seen Heather Lindsey's youtube? She's cute - I like her, but her husband made a video that basically said the same thing. Something to the effect of not getting exactly what you say you want. Thought it was kinda funny. Especially when he was implying that she didn't cook the things he liked.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FAd6dQYmHM&feature=c4-overview&list=UUttZ5MEJtUXkKyVYMNwHQdQ

 

[MD_Lady]

The men I've encountered like this:

1) are too busy being bitter about past relationships/encounters and don't appear to realize they're turning other women off in the process (although I don't know how they can't )

2) talk the LTR talk, but don't walk the LTR walk (read: If you want to be in a LTR, why are you investing time and energy on women who CLEARLY don't?)

3) really aren't that serious about settling down, but aren't honest enough to say so (maybe because they feel it sounds juvenile coming from someone who's over 30?)

 

[Fine 4s]

I agree with above poster. They don't really want to settle down so that's they're excuse.

I remember this one guy from a different culture said that black men in the US want to live in an eternal music video. Don't know why but that always stuck with me....

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I know a guy who is single, educated, making amazing money, under 30. Its not that he has trouble meeting women but getting to the relationship part is another thing. He seems to want a serious relationship.

I think his problem is he find a girl, and tries to make her the one. Not every woman wants a relationship, especially in their early-mid 20s. He will be okay though lol.

Is he attractive?

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I agree with above poster. They don't really want to settle down so that's they're excuse.

I remember this one guy from a different culture said that black men in the US want to live in an eternal music video. Don't know why but that always stuck with me....

Lmao, yes! They really do. I think I made a thread awhile back about dream girl expectations.

But anyway, I agree with the poster who said their talk and their action don't match. A lot of men won't to turn a heaux to a housewife. And I don't mean a girl who is literally a heaux, but in the sex-party-tequila phase of life. They want fun to turn into a lifetime. But don't give effort into making lifetime fun.