Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of action?

[BGT]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Why do you hate chivalry?

Being young and not knowing any better is all I can think of. I was taken back by that also.

I just don't like being doted on like that. It's not the 1600's. I've just never liked a guy running around opening my side of the car. I mean, don't treat me like a dude, but don't treat me like your granny either. I can't explain it, I just don't like that.

 

[ThickHair]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I just don't like being doted on like that. It's not the 1600's. I've just never liked a guy running around opening my side of the car. I mean, don't treat me like a dude, but don't treat me like your granny either. I can't explain it, I just don't like that.

Oh girl, please don't say that out loud. When you are older you will get it.

 

[Transformer]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I say find a new group of friends--a group where you will be the least attractive--maybe men will found you the least intimidating of that group and ask you out!

 

[MizzBrown]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Oh girl, please don't say that out loud. When you are older you will get it.

She's the reason why when I am at work and a guy dropped something, he looked at ME to pick it up.

I nearly cursed him out.

This is why Chivalry is dead.

 

[korean]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Maybe your friends have more personality or are more jazzier then you
alot of times you may be the prettiest girl in the room but if you
are a plain jane then it doenst it matter. Oh and maybe its because
you dont like the chivalry thing.. a man likes to feel like a man and he
likes to think that there are things he can do for a woman that she cannot
do for herself lol...so if he wants to open doors and pull out chairs let him.
with every man in my life its mandatory lol but then again I was raised in
the South

 

[luvn_life]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I'd have to say that I agree. I am almost in the same position except for all of my girls are top knotch... But, they are very nice and friendly, as opposed to me... I am very shy and reserved when I'm around a guy that I like. So, that puts guys off and it makes them think that you are very stuck up and disinterested. No guy likes to be rejected just as girls don't. That's the position I'm in right now and it especially ain't workin for me because the guy I like is quiet and shy himself. I like quiet guys LOL. But everyday its a learning process. Maybe you just need to work on you anyway right now because if you have 0% self confidence you cannot possibly love someone else in a healthy way. You need to find the beauty in you, because if you don't NO ONE else can.

Hope this helps bella

 

[BGT]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

This has always been an issue with me that is kinda hard for me to change. I can do really well with someone one-on-one. Like I love going out with just one of my friends and going to the movies and out to eat because I feel like I can connect with her more. When it's a group of people, I feel like I fade in the background because I don't know how to get into the convo without interrupting someone else.

 

[Syrah]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I just don't like being doted on like that. It's not the 1600's. I've just never liked a guy running around opening my side of the car. I mean, don't treat me like a dude, but don't treat me like your granny either. I can't explain it, I just don't like that.

Chivalry isn't about inability. He's not opening the car door for you because you're unable or incapable. And they're not opening the door because the door handle is dirty or because you lack the strength.

Chivalry is about relieving women of certain things simply on account of being a woman.

And a chivalrous man doesn't fly in the face of your independence. If anything it should contribute to it. Girl, relax and let that man be a man.

 

[GoingNatural]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Action, what's action? I dont know if I'm the prettiest, but I know my friends get more play than me. I'm the mean girl though--the one that people always yell at from across the street saying "why dont you smile!?"

 

[cmperez]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Action, what's action? I dont know if I'm the prettiest, but I know my friends get more play than me. I'm the mean girl though--the one that people always yell at from across the street saying "why dont you smile!?"

Girl, me too.

I've always had the friends who I knew weren't the most attractive but always had all kinds of men falling all over them for whatever reason... but my friends put out. I don't sleep around so I've been told that that sort of thing makes a big difference. I guess it's some kind of a "whora" men can see but I can't? LOL... I do know that I'm not viewed as "approachable" because I don't smile or whatever. Every single one of my friends are a lot more sociable than I am so I know that has a lot to do with it as well.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Yes, you do and it will come in time. But it may take time because sometimes those negative thoughts are hard to let go of. Honey, I remember sitting in a class where (white) students said they felt Affirmative Action needed to be done away with because unqualified Black folks were getting into college over more qualified white folks. And yes, I was THE only black girl in the class and I sure felt them looking at me sideways out of the corner of their eyes. So I know how it feels to have pressure. But ummm...I've got my degree, double majored, had over a 3.0 and I'm doing just fine! Where are they now? Don't know, don't care! So you hang in there, you will be just fine.

OMG...This same thing was said on the first day of graduate school to me and the other two black girls. This was in Indiana in 1998. I just can't believe the exact same thing was said to you too. I responded by announcing (not to anyone specifically but to everyone in general) that "I am here to get a Ph.D. and I am not leaving without it... so whoever does not want me here just give me my degree and I will leave tomorrow". Sorry to hijack your thread OP but that post just brought back some memories. Carry on.

 

[Mai Tai]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I just don't like being doted on like that. It's not the 1600's. I've just never liked a guy running around opening my side of the car. I mean, don't treat me like a dude, but don't treat me like your granny either. I can't explain it, I just don't like that.

And this is why I continue to say that these young girls stay confused!

Sweetie... Chivalry is a mans way of catering to you, and showing you that he loves and respects you enough to put you first. This is just one of the numerous gifts a man has to offer you, and part of being a grown woman is to graciously accept this gift without feeling somewhat repressed.

Women in the 60's knew what it meant to be treated like a lady, and men like women that know how to be treated like a lady. Men (the good ones) love doing these things, and rejecting it can lead issues down the line.

My boo opens doors, gives me his jacket when I'm cold, pulls out my chair for me, and every single time, I give him a sexy smile and say "Thank you, Baby.", and he continues to treat me like a queen.

If you don't let a man treat you well, he will...I repeat...WILL find another woman who will.

I'm just trying to hip you to some game...tis is all...

 

[luvn_life]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Action, what's action? I dont know if I'm the prettiest, but I know my friends get more play than me. I'm the mean girl though--the one that people always yell at from across the street saying "why dont you smile!?"

Hahahaha... ME TOO!!!

 

[DragonPearl]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I just don't like being doted on like that. It's not the 1600's. I've just never liked a guy running around opening my side of the car. I mean, don't treat me like a dude, but don't treat me like your granny either. I can't explain it, I just don't like that.

Look no further for your lack of man magnetism.

At heart, men like chivalry and they love and adore women who let them be chivalrous. Men are much more conservative than women think.

 

[metro_qt]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

Action, what's action? I dont know if I'm the prettiest, but I know my friends get more play than me. I'm the mean girl though--the one that people always yell at from across the street saying "why dont you smile!?"

LOL, i tell them i AM smilling..... on the inside...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Re: Are you the MOST attractive out of your friends but get the LEAST amount of actio

I think the title alone says a lot about your perspective and assumptions. While there are men who are drawn to the physical, what really makes them approach and stay attached is the magnetism between you two. This is not to attack you, but if you said this to your friends, they wouldn't take kindly to what can be seen as conceited subliminal condescension... "You don't even look as good as me... why are YOU married and I'm not?"

Keep things in perspective. You might come off as intimidating... that keeps men from approaching. You might also have an aura or personalities traits which might present more of a challenge or less of an appeal to the men you might come in contact with on a daily basis.

I'm not saying you're stuck on looks or are even ugly. I have no clue what you look like.. and it doesn't matter. But when you think positively about the situation, things may change. Think that you're not being approached because it takes a special kind of man to approach you, and that man hasn't arrived yet. Essentially, there are many potentials on a daily basis, a few great possible connections, but at the end of the day, you might just have a small pool of a tiny few who are really on your level and ready to marry you... and you choose one! Chances aren't slim per se, but you might need to keep it in perspective. Im sure half of the guys who see aren't someone you want to holla at seriously... you would just enjoy the acknowledgement.