are you secretive about ....?

FineChyna

FineChyna

Member
is anyone on here secretive towards people you know about how you got to hair goals or how you made progress? if so why. if not do you know anyone that is?

for instance on another message board someone gave me this link and they also had a HUGE thread about biotin. the author of the biotin thread was saying that she had a friend who had really short hair for YEARS and then suddendly it started growing in long and healthy but she refused to tell anyone how her hair got like that. but someone caught her at GNC buying vitamins, but never said anything to her face, just told others how the vitamins must have made the change in her hair.

i was wondering since people are sooo generous w/ info if you are like that in the real world as well or if you have friends who are ultra secretive and stingy in giving ideas or even directing people to vitamins
 
I knew a lady that was like that at my old hairdresser's shop. She said she "prayed" to get her hair to waist length. At the time, had I been more knowledgable about hair care, I would have seen that she wore braids, kept it moisturized, only trimmed when needed until she reached her goal.

But I didn't know any better then, I really thought long hair was for the "lucky" LOL!
 
I've known a lot of women with long hair who weren't so secretive. They revealed to me that they didn't relax often (about 4 times a year). I was just brainwashed and believed that they had "good hair", and that method wouldn't work for me.
 
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I knew a lady that was like that at my old hairdresser's shop. She said she "prayed" to get her hair to waist length. At the time, had I been more knowledgable about hair care, I would have seen that she wore braids, kept it moisturized, only trimmed when needed until she reached her goal.

But I didn't know any better then, I really thought long hair was for the "lucky" LOL!

[/ QUOTE ]

"prayed for long hair" LOL
 
I am secretive about it unless someone seems like they are showing a genuine interest. Some people will ask you, "How did you get your hair to grow like that?" only for you to tell them and they brush it off with a "Well, I can't do that, I don't have enough time/enough patience/"good hair" or whatever they think is holding them back from their goals.

It gets on my nerves when I tell folks tips on what could make their hair healthier after them asking me and they blatantly ignore the advice and I see them month after month with the same chewed up hair.

Another reason is pretty obvious for most females, too. You know how when you meet first meet a guy you go without a head scarf, don't let him see you until you are completely ready and all that jazz? It's because you want it to seem like you effortlessly look this damn good.

It's kinda the same way with haircare. Trying to say to the world, "I'm so sexy it'll make you slap ya mama and
I don't even try."
 
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I knew a lady that was like that at my old hairdresser's shop. She said she "prayed" to get her hair to waist length. At the time, had I been more knowledgable about hair care, I would have seen that she wore braids, kept it moisturized, only trimmed when needed until she reached her goal.

But I didn't know any better then, I really thought long hair was for the "lucky" LOL!

[/ QUOTE ]

"prayed for long hair" LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

Girrrl, not only that but she said she also fasted. It was so terrible because I remember when her hair was short and it took her about 3 years to get to waist length. I saw her recently and her hair is now past her butt. She can sit on it!! But to not come real... (shaking head) that is TOO sad aint it?

I wouldn't be secretive, I tell people now if they ask me. Why hide it?

A little OT, but I also hate when chicks do that with clothes. You know how you can compliment someone on say, their blouse and they'll go "Oh, I don't remember where I bought it?" SIIIIGH!! We females can be funny sometimes. It's like "don't trip, I probably won't look like you look in the shirt anyway!"
 
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I knew a lady that was like that at my old hairdresser's shop. She said she "prayed" to get her hair to waist length. At the time, had I been more knowledgable about hair care, I would have seen that she wore braids, kept it moisturized, only trimmed when needed until she reached her goal.

But I didn't know any better then, I really thought long hair was for the "lucky" LOL!

[/ QUOTE ]

"prayed for long hair" LOL

[/ QUOTE ]

Girrrl, not only that but she said she also fasted. It was so terrible because I remember when her hair was short and it took her about 3 years to get to waist length. I saw her recently and her hair is now past her butt. She can sit on it!! But to not come real... (shaking head) that is TOO sad aint it?

I wouldn't be secretive, I tell people now if they ask me. Why hide it?

A little OT, but I also hate when chicks do that with clothes. You know how you can compliment someone on say, their blouse and they'll go "Oh, I don't remember where I bought it?" SIIIIGH!! We females can be funny sometimes. It's like "don't trip, I probably won't look like you look in the shirt anyway!"

[/ QUOTE ]

thats really awful that the church lady did that...shame on her. like telling someone to change shampoos, or use a certain moisterizer or take vitamins would actually hurt someone or prevent her hair growth. she could have told you anything BUT that praying and fasting nonsense though. if i was her after all that lying i would have been scared that god was gonna burn that stuff right off my head in public :shakes head in disgust:
 
Nope, I'm not secretive at all about hair care stuff. I love to help out others (whether hair care or something else).
 
I've got a cousin (trainee hairdresser) that is very secretive when it comes to hair and beauty tips. She also doesn't like anybody's hair, especially mine to grow longer than hers. Six years ago,it took me 3 years of hard work to grow my hair bra-strap length, while it took her 3.5 years to grow shoulder length hair. She got so jelous that she even collaborated with her hair-dresser friend and cut about 2 inches or more off my hair when I let them cornrow my hair
cry3.gif
! Anyway, I eventually cut that hair because I decided to wear very short hair styles.
 
I like sharing what I know about hair care. I would like to see more black females with healthier and longer hair. Sometimes I hold back wit some people on the info though because peoples minds are already set about things like greasing the scalp and not washing often. If I told them washing your hair everyday was good they'd laugh and call me crazy
 
i'm such a hair obssesed maniac that it's hard for me to be secretive. *L* whenever someone mentions my hair, or how they can't get the same result, i go into a long conversation about how i did it and what i use etc... but i do agree with the person who said that she's getting secretive because when she tells someone what she does they dismiss it; that happens to me all the time. i'm beginning not to even bother giving advice...
 
I too love to help others out with their hair, but only if they're realy interested.Otherwise I feel like I just wasted my time and energy, advice... on someone who really doesn't care. Kind of throwing pearls to the swine sort of thing! That's why it was so GREAT!! to find this board, full of others willing to share thoughts, suggestions, cheer each other on, be truly happy for success and sorry for setbacks... and not secretive about what they do, so that we can all learn and grow together, and all have beautiful hair!! Thanks to all of you wonderful ladies!!
 
I try to be open, maybe a little more open than I should. Because this statement: [ QUOTE ]
It gets on my nerves when I tell folks tips on what could make their hair healthier after them asking me and they blatantly ignore the advice and I see them month after month with the same chewed up hair.

[/ QUOTE ]

rings so true. I feel this way especially about conditioner only washes. I hear stuff like "Wetting your hair everyday is going to make your break. You know that right?" // " What, u think you're white?
rofl.gif

PUHHHLEEEEZZZZ!!!! It makes me wish I woulda kept my mouth closed.
 
I'm not when the person is geniunely interested. I mean why hide? It's pointless to me anyways. If someone did grow their hair longer than mine, I wouldn't lose sleep.
 
I tell people who I think will actually make an effort. I told my best friend about this board numerous times because she really wants to grow her hair longer, she's made no mention that she's even looked at it yet, so what can I do. My mother will also ask me why my hair is growing so fast, but she knows I'm a member of this board and she never visits, plus she thinks it's crazy how much I wash my hair, that I don't "greaze" it, etc.
nuts.gif
 
well ditto! I try to be brief and non-condescending but if I KNOW the person isn't going to really apply any of my recommendations, I change the subject. People can't believe you should wash your hair and scalp at least weekly and that most hair products out there are bad news for our hair and scalps.

If I feel the person is receptive though, I'll BREAK IT DOWN and tell em everything I do to my hair
smile.gif
 
I'm not secretive about hair care tips and products, but I am secretive about this board. At first I would tell people about the site and they would look at me like I was crazy. Then they started making jokes. Now I'll just say something like, "I heard that L'Oreal Unfrizz Smoothing Treatment is a great conditioner." Or "Curl activator is a good moisturizer."

They don't need to know where I "heard" it...
sekret.gif
 
i tell ppl who are geniunly (sp) intrested. if you are cracking jokes or gonna hit me with that good hair crap i stay quiet. but i love to talk about hair
 
I like to share my emergent knowledge re: hair care and hair care products with others. It's fun, and, if it helps them, it's a win/win situation!

northernbelle
 
Only the people who live in my house and one close friend know I go on the hair care board. I haven't told anyone else, but I do offer suggestions. I know if I told some one who has fried, dried, and laid their hair to the side and is very ignorant what I do to care for my hair, they would laugh in my face.
 
I love giving hair tips. I usually do so when people ask or I'll ask them if I can make a suggestion if they tell me of a hair problem. And when they do ask, I've noticed it goes in one ear and out the other. Or they criticize what I say, trying to find something wrong with it. I'm not sure why, but I think that most people are just not ready to hear the answers, even when they ask. Maybe it has to do with breaking free from all the myths passed down over the generations.
scratchchin.gif
 
I wouldn't say I'm secretive - but I don't offer advice unless I'm sure, that I'm sure, that I'm SURE, that I'm not dealing with a hater.
My experience with a lot (not all, but in my experience many is not hyperbole) of women is that that they look for any and every "hole" in who you are (the elaborateness or lack thereof of your hair regime, your spending budget and whatever else you may do) and attack it visciously given the opportunity. Many women are just WAITING for you to open the door so they can pick you apart.

So I don't anymore. I give advice with love when I know it will be recieved in love. If I'm not sure, I shut my mouth. People I DON'T know usually assume my hair is healthy and long because I'm "mixed" anyway, so I never have to do much explaining if I don't want to. Sometimes dismissal on false grounds is a GOOD thing.
smile.gif
 
I pretty much tell people about the hair board. I have received mixed responses. For the most part since my hair is noticably getting longer, they don't make stupid remarks (but that could also be that I have cut trifling people out of my life, so I rarely experience nonsense anymore). Tracy - I am sure you know this but I want to reiterate, when you see people attacking you like that, it is because of jealously (wheather or not you think you have something to be jealous of
smile.gif
)or their own insucurities. Unfortunately it can really hurt until you are able to see it for what it is.
smile.gif
 
I was at a parent meeting at my sons school yesterday. He goes to an English speaking school so the kids and parents come from all over the world. I saw a woman with a really nice phonytail and I just had to ask where she bought it.
She turns around and stares at me like I'm crazy and just says- "This is my REAL hair" and just walks off in a damn huff.
I was like
shocked.gif
!
I could see a mile away that it was NOT her real hair, partly because the phony tail was curly, bouncy and shiny jet black, compared to her broken off, strands sticking straight up, no-lye dull brown hair.
Now WHY on earth did she give me attitude?
Was she too blind to see that I am (although pale) no less blacker then her and that I obviously could already spot that it was a damn baggie.
It might seem stupid to you guys but I feel that over here we are so few we have to stick together.
I could've
smashf.gif
upside her head!
 
[ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't say I'm secretive - but I don't offer advice unless I'm sure, that I'm sure, that I'm SURE, that I'm not dealing with a hater.
My experience with a lot (not all, but in my experience many is not hyperbole) of women is that that they look for any and every "hole" in who you are (the elaborateness or lack thereof of your hair regime, your spending budget and whatever else you may do) and attack it visciously given the opportunity. Many women are just WAITING for you to open the door so they can pick you apart.



[/ QUOTE ]

Never have truer words been spoken!
 
I think I'm more selective than secretive. I don't give out the board url to people I don't know, because even though increased membership would be good - I don't want a negative atmosphere to take over. But just to avoid all the attitudes and "hateration", I don't volunteer anymore information than they ask for. I skip the product and hair analysis that only you guys would understand. I give them the basic answer of washing at least 2x a week with a mild non-drying, detangling shampoo, condition after every wash, and do olive oil hot oil treatments regularly, and do rollersets instead of blowdrying and hot curling. That's a basic regimen that anyone can follow if they choose to. I'm not sending them on a dummy mission because I actually follow a version of that myself, and I don't feel like a snob because I ignored their question. If they ask for product recommendations, then I tell them which ones I've heard good things about and which ones I've actually used.
If they start to pick apart what I say, I just shrug and say that it works for me. Then they feel really silly because they asked you for advice, not the other way around. So obviously I must be doing something right.
 
I am not secretive or selective about sharing what I know about hair care and going natural. If they ask-- I will tell.

I get asked a lot of questions and I sing to the world.

I share everything I know because It sickens me to see black women with no edges, broken off hair, thin ends, etc.

I also share because I try to disprove those stupid hair myths for instance: "Black women's hair does not grow" or "Only black women with good hair can grow hair".
 
[ QUOTE ]
I was at a parent meeting at my sons school yesterday. He goes to an English speaking school so the kids and parents come from all over the world. I saw a woman with a really nice phonytail and I just had to ask where she bought it.
She turns around and stares at me like I'm crazy and just says- "This is my REAL hair" and just walks off in a damn huff.
I was like
shocked.gif
!
I could see a mile away that it was NOT her real hair, partly because the phony tail was curly, bouncy and shiny jet black, compared to her broken off, strands sticking straight up, no-lye dull brown hair.
Now WHY on earth did she give me attitude?
Was she too blind to see that I am (although pale) no less blacker then her and that I obviously could already spot that it was a damn baggie.
It might seem stupid to you guys but I feel that over here we are so few we have to stick together.
I could've
smashf.gif
upside her head!

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe she was embarrassed or caught off guard by the where did you buy it question. i'm not saying what she did was right but let me play devils advocate: for alot of people wearing a wig or weave or hair piece is a touchy subject cause they are upset or embrassed that their hair is so messed up that it needs one. i won't like when i was 14 i was sporting a fake ponytail cause my natural hair was an inch above my shoulder in length and i was embarrassed that when i put my hair in a pont tail it looked like a worn off numb. i NEVER EVER lied and told people it was my hair but i was embrassed when people asked me wear i brought the weave from. even more embarassing was being around my cousins who had long flowing permed hair and to have them look at me like i was a pile of s--t cause my hair was short and breaking off. (yes the rubbed in my face and told me i must have all the bad genes since everyone else's hair was long. they made me feel like i was less than them because of my hair problem)

but she had no right to yell like that over a weave. maybe some people when they get upset or embrassed get angry...who knows
 
CBG
kiss.gif


I sound more embittered than I actually FEEL, Nena.
laugh.gif
But thank you for the sweet encouragement and the kind words. You're a gem!
smile.gif
 
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