Are there just some people that you don't want to share any of your...

[Lovelylocs]

Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

hair expertise with? I feel this way about most people that I meet in everyday life. I want to be the one with the longest hair in the room. LOL /images/graemlins/laugh.gif No I am not crazy. But, why should i have to tell people what i do with MY hair? I dont see anyone else giving out all of their beauty secrets. People rarely share all of their make-up tricks etc. Plus, people don't know how to act. People were asking me if I relax my hair. I guess b/c with the blowouts you can't tell. Well, of course I said yes b/c that just seemed natural to me. Tell me why this one girl told someone when i got my retouch. A girl complimented me and she goes, "that is a fresh relaxer". /images/graemlins/frown.gif I am not embarrassed to tell people this, but now I think I am going to avoiding the question. I don't relax my hair, my stylist does. And when I do my twist outs people all want to know how i did it so that they can copy it. I don't want for everyone's hair to look like mine!!!

 

[bajanplums1]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

honestly, when i see people, i want to tell them. i want to help them out. i hate seeing black women with jacked up hair. every other ethnoic group (Indians, Latinas) seem to be able to teach girls how to care for their hair.

I just feel that I am beautiful and telling others how to make themselves healthier or look better does not detract from me.

 

[lovechic]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
bajanplums1 said:
honestly, when i see people, i want to tell them. i want to help them out. i hate seeing black women with jacked up hair. every other ethnoic group (Indians, Latinas) seem to be able to teach girls how to care for their hair.

I just feel that I am beautiful and telling others how to make themselves healthier or look better does not detract from me.

[/ QUOTE ] me too!!!

 

[lovechic]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

PASS ON THE BLESSINGS!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MizAvalon]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

Lovelylocs, I feel you on this. But, I mostly don't like sharing tips because I'm not big on giving out hair advice. What works for me is not necessarily going to work for you, so why would I tell you all about what I do. Also, I find that *most* people that ask aren't willing to make the lifestyle changes that it takes to have beautiful hair anyway. They want some kid of quick fix and aren't really interested in hearing about properly taking care of their hair and making sure it's healthy. Now, when I encounter someone who is sincerely interested in learning about healthy hair CARE and not just some dumb style, then I occasionally part with some tips.

 

[unlvgirl]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
MizAvalon said:
Lovelylocs, I feel you on this. But, I mostly don't like sharing tips because I'm not big on giving out hair advice. What works for me is not necessarily going to work for you, so why would I tell you all about what I do. Also, I find that *most* people that ask aren't willing to make the lifestyle changes that it takes to have beautiful hair anyway. They want some kid of quick fix and aren't really interested in hearing about properly taking care of their hair and making sure it's healthy. Now, when I encounter someone who is sincerely interested in learning about healthy hair CARE and not just some dumb style, then I occasionally part with some tips.

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel the same way /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[MizAvalon]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
unlvgirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
MizAvalon said:
Lovelylocs, I feel you on this. But, I mostly don't like sharing tips because I'm not big on giving out hair advice. What works for me is not necessarily going to work for you, so why would I tell you all about what I do. Also, I find that *most* people that ask aren't willing to make the lifestyle changes that it takes to have beautiful hair anyway. They want some kid of quick fix and aren't really interested in hearing about properly taking care of their hair and making sure it's healthy. Now, when I encounter someone who is sincerely interested in learning about healthy hair CARE and not just some dumb style, then I occasionally part with some tips.

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel the same way /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

unlvgirl, I'm a little late, but I just viewed your album and your hair is INSANE!! I love it and you are my new hair inspiration! Simply gorgeous, dahling! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[candibaby]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

Yes, there are some people I dont want to share my secrets/tips with. Simply because some people only want to criticize everything I do. Like one of my friends, E*, she always asks me what I do.. only to say something negative. Like "why do you wash your hair so much, it'll dry up and fall out" (obviously it wont because my hair is the healthiest its ever been and hers is not).. when people do stuff like that it makes me not want to tell them anything at all.

 

[lthomas1]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
candibaby said:
Yes, there are some people I dont want to share my secrets/tips with. Simply because some people only want to criticize everything I do. Like one of my friends, E*, she always asks me what I do.. only to say something negative. Like "why do you wash your hair so much, it'll dry up and fall out" (obviously it wont because my hair is the healthiest its ever been and hers is not).. when people do stuff like that it makes me not want to tell them anything at all.

[/ QUOTE ] This is true. They will also try to say "Why do you wash your hair so much, you're not white".

 

[bajanplums1]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
lthomas1 said:
[ QUOTE ]
candibaby said:
Yes, there are some people I dont want to share my secrets/tips with. Simply because some people only want to criticize everything I do. Like one of my friends, E*, she always asks me what I do.. only to say something negative. Like "why do you wash your hair so much, it'll dry up and fall out" (obviously it wont because my hair is the healthiest its ever been and hers is not).. when people do stuff like that it makes me not want to tell them anything at all.

[/ QUOTE ] This is true. They will also try to say "Why do you wash your hair so much, you're not white".

[/ QUOTE ]
I think that;s all part of educating people. when I came to the board, i did not know it was ok to wash my hair more than once a week.

 

[AudraChanell]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

Shame on you ...Imma /images/graemlins/spank.gif

 

[ms_kenesha]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

My mom & someone else who I won't name! Moms because she won't do it and will start criticising me. The other person because she thinks her hair is so awesome as is.

Everyone else, if they ask I'll tell. But I don't give unsolicited advice.

 

[Jenai]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

Most people that ask about hair care want a quick fix or a product solution - girl, just use some 'gro kwik' and your hair will be long in a minute. Just like most people can't eat donuts evryday and sport a six pack, most women can't abuse heat and overstlye their hair and expect it to grow long and healthy.

 

[Mariaat40]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
bajanplums1 said:
honestly, when i see people, i want to tell them. i want to help them out. i hate seeing black women with jacked up hair. every other ethnoic group (Indians, Latinas) seem to be able to teach girls how to care for their hair.

I just feel that I am beautiful and telling others how to make themselves healthier or look better does not detract from me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm the same way. I hate seeing black women with toe up hair. But, like some of the others have said, I don't think many are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to have healthy, long hair. So I don't share because I don't think it will be received well /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[cutebajangirl]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

I share all the time, I like helping people and I don't think anyone's pluses take away from mine.

 

[BAILEYSCREAM]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
lovechic said:
[ QUOTE ]
bajanplums1 said:
honestly, when i see people, i want to tell them. i want to help them out. i hate seeing black women with jacked up hair. every other ethnoic group (Indians, Latinas) seem to be able to teach girls how to care for their hair.

I just feel that I am beautiful and telling others how to make themselves healthier or look better does not detract from me.

[/ QUOTE ] me too!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Me three!!! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I do not like seeing black women with busted hair./images/graemlins/lachen70.gif I want to fix it for them. So when they ask me what I use for my hair I make them a list /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Desert Skye]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
MizAvalon said:
Lovelylocs, I feel you on this. But, I mostly don't like sharing tips because I'm not big on giving out hair advice. What works for me is not necessarily going to work for you, so why would I tell you all about what I do. Also, I find that *most* people that ask aren't willing to make the lifestyle changes that it takes to have beautiful hair anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with you on that. People dont understand that they should be learning how to do good hair care not just hair styling. I am also reluctant to tell them too because what may work for me wont work for them and i will feel kinda bad if it dont.

 

[LB_Williams]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of you

[ QUOTE ]
Mariaat40 said:
[ QUOTE ]
bajanplums1 said:
honestly, when i see people, i want to tell them. i want to help them out. <snip>

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm the same way. I hate seeing black women with toe up hair. But, like some of the others have said, I don't think many are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to have healthy, long hair. So I don't share because I don't think it will be received well /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

That's my dilemma.

Example: Way back when I wanted to get braids, I was asking ladies who did theirs and most were quick to tell me, "none of your business". I think it stems from weird self-esteem issues. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

So as much as my heart wants to help out and tell the gals I see with rat's nests for hair about alternatives, I know better than to approach them. If someone were to ask me for help, I'd share what I could with them in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately so far all I have had are opportunities to hold my tongue. /images/graemlins/covereyes.gif

 

[MonaLisa]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
bajanplums1 said:
[ QUOTE ]
lthomas1 said:
[ QUOTE ]
candibaby said:
Yes, there are some people I dont want to share my secrets/tips with. Simply because some people only want to criticize everything I do. Like one of my friends, E*, she always asks me what I do.. only to say something negative. Like "why do you wash your hair so much, it'll dry up and fall out" (obviously it wont because my hair is the healthiest its ever been and hers is not).. when people do stuff like that it makes me not want to tell them anything at all.

[/ QUOTE ] This is true. They will also try to say "Why do you wash your hair so much, you're not white".

[/ QUOTE ]
I think that;s all part of educating people. when I came to the board, i did not know it was ok to wash my hair more than once a week.

[/ QUOTE ]

Co-signing. I got "You're gonna lose your natural oils and dry out your hair and You're gonna wash the relaxer out sooner..." I just gave up trying to give tips and sharing things I have learned.

 

[Nyambura]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
cutebajangirl said:
I share all the time, I like helping people and I don't think anyone's pluses take away from mine.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/up.gif /images/graemlins/up.gif /images/graemlins/up.gif Me too! /images/graemlins/smile.gif I also feel that many women on the internet hair clubs have been giving away free advice that has benefitted my hair, so why would I then want to shut the door on someone else? Somehow, it doesn't seem right. Now, if I give someone advice and she doesn't take it, then next time with her I'll save my breath - but it's up to the person to show me she doesn't care, not for me to decide that for them.

 

[Isis]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
Nyambura said:
[ QUOTE ]
cutebajangirl said:
I share all the time, I like helping people and I don't think anyone's pluses take away from mine.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/up.gif /images/graemlins/up.gif /images/graemlins/up.gif Me too! /images/graemlins/smile.gif I also feel that many women on the internet hair clubs have been giving away free advice that has benefitted my hair, so why would I then want to shut the door on someone else? Somehow, it doesn't seem right. Now, if I give someone advice and she doesn't take it, then next time with her I'll save my breath - but it's up to the person to show me she doesn't care, not for me to decide that for them.

[/ QUOTE ]
ITA! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[FlowerHair]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

I love giving advice to other women. We are so few with this kind of hair where I live so we just have to help eachother.

 

[Tai]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

If people ask me for advice, I give it to them. If they want to try a product I'm using, I'll give them a sample. But the moment they want to start criticizing what I'm doing, all advice stops.

 

[jasmin]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
candibaby said:
Yes, there are some people I dont want to share my secrets/tips with. Simply because some people only want to criticize everything I do. Like one of my friends, E*, she always asks me what I do.. only to say something negative. Like "why do you wash your hair so much, it'll dry up and fall out" (obviously it wont because my hair is the healthiest its ever been and hers is not).. when people do stuff like that it makes me not want to tell them anything at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. I would love to tell people but sometimes it's just not worth it for some people. I mean why ask if you really don't want to hear what I'm saying. I'm baffled by that fact that people get laughed at when someone compliments their hair and ask what they do. The minute they tell them they have something negative to say. I mean really....put 2 and 2 together if you see that my hair is bangin. It must be working.

 

[webby]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

I used to be more reserved with my sharing, only because one of my cousins, who had a head full of hair, as did I, when we were children was very, very critical and turned hair care into a competition /images/graemlins/huh.gif? rather than a learning process.

Now, if someone asks I openly share. It's the way I learned...from someone willing to give of their wisdom.

 

[Premierepearl08]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of you

[ QUOTE ]
LB_Williams said:

That's my dilemma.

Example: Way back when I wanted to get braids, I was asking ladies who did theirs and most were quick to tell me, "none of your business". I think it stems from weird self-esteem issues. /images/graemlins/confused.gif

So as much as my heart wants to help out and tell the gals I see with rat's nests for hair about alternatives, I know better than to approach them. If someone were to ask me for help, I'd share what I could with them in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately so far all I have had are opportunities to hold my tongue. /images/graemlins/covereyes.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA! I remember when I first went natural. I asked this girl who had been natural a few months longer than I how she had done her hair. I was desperate for help and wasn't in a location that really catered to natural hair. This girl looks down her nose at me with the superior attitude and answers "nothing". A year or two later I figured out that it was an old twist out. I vowed that I will never be like that. As a matter of fact, I have told some of my students about this website in the hopes that they, or their mothers, will take some of the advice here to heart.

I do share, but mostly only when asked. I am with the other women, I cannot stand to see a Black woman with a jacked up hair do, or hair that appears to be on its way out. If I can help, I do.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
GiGi said:
Most people that ask about hair care want a quick fix or a product solution - girl, just use some 'gro kwik' and your hair will be long in a minute. Just like most people can't eat donuts evryday and sport a six pack, most women can't abuse heat and overstlye their hair and expect it to grow long and healthy.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree witht this. I hadnt seen my friend in over a year, the first time she saw me was two weeks ago and she was going on and on about my braid and how long my hair had gotten. She asked me how did I do it. I told her I had been wearing moisturized buns and an occasional braid for damn near two years, this chick broke fool on me. "Oh hell no, you keep your hair up every day like that, just to get long hair??!!!!" I said yep. She thought I was lying and that I was holding some magic secret from her. I was so frustrated I changed the subject /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif.

 

[Lovelylocs]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

Also, I dont think that most people are going to believe some of the advice we have to offer. Add honey to your conditioner? 2 of my friends are bio majors, which means that they have had their fair share of chemistry classes as well, and they told me that the honey would probably get stuck in your hair. Conditioner only wash every day or every few days? I get you need to use shampoo so that your scalp will get clean.
People aren't willing to even try to be open-minded for just 2 seconds. They arent willing to realize that if what they are currently doing for their hair doesnt work, then maybe they need to try something new. And, they act like I have some special hair texture that makes my hair look the way it does and grow long. They act like I must be mixed somewhere and have naturally curly/wavy hair that is "easier to manage". I have regular old 4a afro textured hair just like the rest of them. But, no one is trying to hear that or my advice. So, why bother? Whenever i try, people look like they are getting offended b/c they think that their hair looks jacked up because nature made it that way and that i just dont understand. Plus, I am out numbered and everyone will just tell me that I am wrong and look at me like i am crazy. So, if someone REALLY wants to know and seriously sits down and asks me and seems willing to try, then okay i will tell them a little bit of info (provided that i dont feel like she is any competition. lol).

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

[ QUOTE ]
GiGi said:
Most people that ask about hair care want a quick fix or a product solution - girl, just use some 'gro kwik' and your hair will be long in a minute. Just like most people can't eat donuts evryday and sport a six pack, most women can't abuse heat and overstlye their hair and expect it to grow long and healthy.

[/ QUOTE ]

You said it,Lil Mama!!

 

[bellydancer]

Re: Are there just some people that you don\'t want to share any of your...

YES! one of my "friends" is so conceited. She is always talking about how she has good hair. Her hair is broken off and only comes to her collar bone. She always makes a point to mention she has good hair when we talk about hair. I don't even want to give her advice. One day I tried to giver her advice and she said "Oh girl. My hair will grow back cuz I got good hair."