Anyone else annoyed when White women put their hands in your hair?

[naturalmanenyc]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

 

[dlewis]

It doesn't bother me as long as their hands are clean, I'm good.

I did a blog post on this recently.http://www.longhaircareforum.com/blog.php?b=8725

 

[yvette]

I don't want ANYONE putting their hands in my hair. That is a strict violation of my personal space and is tacky.

Like we use to say as kids, see with your eyes, not your hands!

 

[mrsjohnson75]

It has never happened to me. If it did..I would probably give them the "screw face"erplexed. I don't like folks touching me.

 

[silkii_locks]

Hi,
To answer your question, it doesn't really annoy me simply if they're white. What annoys me is when they don't ask before touching but that goes for anybody.

But to be honest I actually like when people of other races ask questions or even touch my hair because in most cases it's their first time ever doing so and I think it dispells a lot of myths and misconceptions about our hair that people of other races may have.

So it kind of gives us a chance to promote how versatile and beautiful our hair really is whether in it's natural state, relaxed, braids, locs whatever.

 

[keepithealthy]

Doesn't bother me either. I think there just curios about our hair. Since I bc'd I have a co-worker who loves to come by and run her hands through my hair. She is amazed at how soft it is. I take it as a compliment.

 

[january noir]

I wish somebody would, anybody, white or black, yellow or red.

I'd be annoyed at that gesture from anyone unless it's my hair dresser and he's paid to do that.

 

[january noir]

I don't want ANYONE putting their hands in my hair. That is a strict violation of my personal space and is tacky.

Like we use to say as kids, see with your eyes, not your hands!

OMG! That saying brings back a flood of memories!

 

[ladylibra]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

RE: the bolded - from what I've seen, they do. the only white people who touch my hair are my friends. and i touch theirs too. so it's all good.

see, i've never had the problem of random strangers touching my hair, or my pregnant belly. i don't play that!

 

[silkii_locks]

Doesn't bother me either. I think there just curios about our hair. Since I bc'd I have a co-worker who loves to come by and run her hands through my hair. She is amazed at how soft it is. I take it as a compliment.

So do I.

 

[beans4reezy]

Race aside, I don't want anyone's hands my in hair; this is such a violation of space.

Although, I am secretly awaiting my first weave check

 

[krikit96]

Hi,
To answer your question, it doesn't really annoy me simply if they're white. What annoys me is when they don't ask before touching but that goes for anybody.

But to be honest I actually like when people of other races ask questions or even touch my hair because in most cases it's their first time ever doing so and I think it dispells a lot of myths and misconceptions about our hair that people of other races have.

So it kind of gives us a chance to promote how versatile and beautiful our hair really is whether in it's natural state, relaxed, braids, locs whatever.

Okay, ITA with the bolded. I had two roomates my sophomore year and one was Filipino and the other was Chinese. I was their first up close experience with a black person at all. The chinese chick had never EVER talked to a black person... they always ASKED first, but wanted to touch and ask questions about all my braid styles, natural hair... even wanted to do each others hair ( I declined)

 

[nysister]

Recently I cut my hair into a TWA.I've only had 2 people touch it. One asked, the other didn't. I forgave her, as I know her and she's a sweet person, so I don't think she meant anything by it. I have to admit to touching other people's hair without asking though. I mean I don't usually, but I know I've done it before.

 

[alarafan]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

When we were growing up, at one point my brother and I were the only black people at the school. we used to get it all the time. My mum's suggestion was to do it back ie. let them touch your hair but then also touch and feel their hair. Then they realise how inappropriate and how it violates their personal space. I still do it now

 

[Miss*Tress]

But to be honest I actually like when people of other races ask questions or even touch my hair because in most cases it's their first time ever doing so and I think it dispells a lot of myths and misconceptions about our hair that people of other races have.

So it kind of gives us a chance to promote how versatile and beautiful our hair really is whether in it's natural state, relaxed, braids, locs whatever.

Maybe so, but do any of us actually touch the hair of people of other races or ask them daft questions about their skin?

 

[varaneka]

it's not just white women. blacks, asians, hispanics...EVERYONE MESSES WITH MY HAIR AND IT ANNOYS THE SH** OUT OF ME lol

and then when I say don't touch me, THEY HAVE NERVE TO GET MAD @ ME LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG

SMH

they're crazy

 

[Lucky's Mom]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

I can't even go there.


IMO -
It is a legacy of the Slave Markets.............
A complete disrespect and de-humanization of us as a people....

I am not a damn cat, bear, chimp, or any other beast that you should feel the need to stroke or touch me in that manner.

Can you tell that I am a bit irritatied by this?

 

[*Muffin*]

No more so than when any other race puts their hand in my hair. My Grandmother is white and she's the only one I allow to do anything with my hair because she understands my journey.

P.S. Some of them are probably just curious as to how our hair feels. It's perfectly understandable. I've touched white people's hair before. It's better that than for them to shrink away, assuming it's full of oil moisturizer or something, IMO. But if you feel uncomfortable with them touching your hair, just let them know and I'm sure they'll stop. I just think it's a natural tendency for women in general to once and a while touch other women's hair.

 

[peony]

I don't like people who are not very close to me (family/good friends) touching my hair because I know nothing about their hygiene! The thought of someone not washing their hands after using the restroom and then touching my hair makes me nauseous.

For me it isn't about race but it has been far more frequent that white American people rather than African Americans, Asians, Latinos, or Europeans, have touched my hair uninvited.

 

[silkii_locks]

Maybe so, but do any of us actually touch the hair of people of other races or ask them daft questions about their skin?

I do if I've known them for a while, but that's just the type of person that I am.

 

[tmrskltn]

I think that people just are curious, it's a natural instinct i think to want to touch, feel, see, smell, things. I think people of different races are just curious about our hair and i think they don't understand that it really is a violation of ones personal space. But black woman do it too...i think in peoples mind they are touching because they like what they see, so they think that some how u know this and don't think u will mind. But i personally would never just go up and start petting someone i don't know. That's a no-no. People do it when u r pregnant to ..

 

[Miss*Tress]

I do, but that's just the type of person that I am.

Fair enough. I shouldn't have generalized.

In any case, I'm not the slightest bit interested in touching others or having them touch me. I'm not a dolly baby or a pet.

 

[silkii_locks]

I think that people just are curious, it's a natural instinct i think to want to touch, feel, see, smell, things. I think people of different races are just curious about our hair and i think they don't understand that it really is a violation of ones personal space. But black woman do it too...i think in peoples mind they are touching because they like what they see, so they think that some how u know this and don't think u will mind. But i personally would never just go up and start petting someone i don't know. That's a no-no. People do it when u r pregnant to ..

ITA. I would never do this either I always, always ask and I have to atleast have known them for a little while.

 

[Aspire]

I can't even go there.


IMO -
It is a legacy of the Slave Markets.............
A complete disrespect and de-humanization of us as a people....

I am not a damn cat, bear, chimp, or any other beast that you should feel the need to stroke or touch me in that manner.

Can you tell that I am a bit irritatied by this?

My sentiments exactly - and I don't give a hot damn who you are or your race. As a matter of fact, when I went out with my DH on our first date, he ran his fingers all up and down the back of my hair (because his arm was on the passenger seat of the car - so he says). I cussed his rude a** out too.

As a person who experiences things through sense, I can understand wanting to touch something, but for the love of sanity, ASK FIRST!!! A woman's hair is very personal. I don't walk around touching white women's tits, or men's packages to see how they feel or to see if they are real.

You are NOT entitled to touch me just cause you want to, are curious, or feel like it. @*&$%!!

 

[Finally Free]

It doesn't bother me, it's the things that people say!

My family and I were invited to a church. We get in...at the door there are usher's there to greet you and gives out programs and to find out if you're a visitor, so that they can welcome you. If you're a visitor you must complete the visitor's form.

While filling out the form' this blk chick reaches out and touches my hair, commenting on how "good" it was. I ignored her comment and kept filling out the form. She then turned to this wht chick and said, see... I got this "nicca hair" tugging on hers. I was sooooo embarrassed and angry at the same time. I wanted to take my family and leave, but realized I was there to serve the Lord!

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

White people in general have NEVER put their hands on my hair and I've been around enough of them as a natural lol. Only black people seem to touch my hair and no I dont particularly care for it.

 

[keepithealthy]

While filling out the form' this blk chick reaches out and touches my hair, commenting on how "good" it was. I ignored her comment and kept filling out the form. She then turned to this wht chick and said, see... I got this "nicca hair" tugging on hers. I was sooooo embarrassed and angry at the same time. I wanted to take my family and leave, but realized I was there to serve the Lord!

that's just sad

 

[anon123]

No, I don't like it. Especially if they don't ask. I don't like for anyone who is not a close friend to touch my hair without asking me, that's invasive. But I especially don't like it when others do it. This means Asian women, too. Makes me feel like I'm in a petting zoo. Do you normally touch strangers' hair? Isn't that a creepy thing for you to do? Is it okay because I'm some exotic creature that fascinates you?

Oh, and when you ask to touch, please wait for me to actually respond. Don't you ask and touch at the same time.

 

[fyb87]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

I have ONLY had BLACK people put their hands in my hair. They do that crap all the freakin' time. Yes, it does piss me off. If I wasn't afraid of going to jail I would yank their hair out their heads. That's how much it angers me. I wouldn't dare put my hands in someone's hair. That would gross me out. Hell, I don't know if they have lice or any other types of issues....nasty.

 

[1QTPie]

I don't mind if friends touch my hair. I do mind when friends damage my hair. Like when my BLACK friend snatched out my red henna'ed gray hair. Right outta my scalp and acted surprised when I said it hurt. It really ticked me off, but I let it go.

Most of my white friends have dated black men, so they know what black hair feels like. I think they just want to touch MY hair because I'm approachable and because I'm one of the only one in our circle that has natural hair.