Anyone else annoyed when White women put their hands in your hair?

[1QTPie]

I have ONLY had BLACK people put their hands in my hair. They do that crap all the freakin' time. Yes, it does piss me off. If I wasn't afraid of going to jail I would yank their hair out their heads. That's how much it angers me. I wouldn't dare put my hands in someone's hair. That would gross me out. Hell, I don't know if they have lice or any other types of issues....nasty.

I'm not going to lie, if we were friends offline, I would be in your hair like a wedgie. You would curse me, hit me, curse my mother, but I would still ALWAYS be in your hair. Look at it. Girl...

 

[1QTPie]

No, I don't like it. Especially if they don't ask. I don't like for anyone who is not a close friend to touch my hair without asking me, that's invasive. But I especially don't like it when others do it. This means Asian women, too. Makes me feel like I'm in a petting zoo. Do you normally touch strangers' hair? Isn't that a creepy thing for you to do? Is it okay because I'm some exotic creature that fascinates you?

Oh, and when you ask to touch, please wait for me to actually respond. Don't you ask and touch at the same time.

Yeah, add you to the list. I would be in your hair too. And you'd come here and talk about me. I'on curr. I would have my fingers molesting your scalp on a regular basis.

 

[sqzbly1908]

Hi,
To answer your question, it doesn't really annoy me simply if they're white. What annoys me is when they don't ask before touching but that goes for anybody.

But to be honest I actually like when people of other races ask questions or even touch my hair because in most cases it's their first time ever doing so and I think it dispells a lot of myths and misconceptions about our hair that people of other races have.

So it kind of gives us a chance to promote how versatile and beautiful our hair really is whether in it's natural state, relaxed, braids, locs whatever.

Well Stated!!!

 

[fyb87]

No more so than when any other race puts their hand in my hair. My Grandmother is white and she's the only one I allow to do anything with my hair because she understands my journey.

P.S. Some of them are probably just curious as to how our hair feels. It's perfectly understandable. I've touched white people's hair before. It's better that than for them to shrink away, assuming it's full of oil moisturizer or something, IMO. But if you feel uncomfortable with them touching your hair, just let them know and I'm sure they'll stop. I just think it's a natural tendency for women in general to once and a while touch other women's hair.

I do not think this is a natural tendency. I have NEVER in my life put my hands in someone's hair outside of my son, SO or if I was combing my little cousins hair. Nor have I ever saw someone's hair and wanted to touch. This is not something I can fathom. Heck....I see things all the time that I may want to touch, but don't. Why would I do that to a human being?? perplexedperplexed

 

[mscocoface]

This is my number 1 PET PEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a white coworker from the south (GA) everytime we are in the same room she has to either say something or come up and touch my hair. The kicker is she does it from behind.

The last time we were together she mentioned my hair at the sit down dinner party. So of course the room went dead silent and all eyes looked at her then at me. I gave her the Loook! Then said something so quiet and sinister that she realized she had crossed that line waaaaay over the top.

I can't stand this woman. God forgive me. She irks me to no end.

Family is okay we do this to each other all the time we are usually sharing hair stories or figuring out who did what and how did they get the length, etc.

 

[fyb87]

Double post

 

[fyb87]

I'm not going to lie, if we were friends offline, I would be in your hair like a wedgie. You would curse me, hit me, curse my mother, but I would still ALWAYS be in your hair. Look at it. Girl...

LOL! I honestly don't see why anyone would want to touch my hair. It took me almost 37 years to start liking it! I know I should take it as a compliment. You know I'm from New Orleans and this only started happening when I moved from the area. First time it happened I almost punched the lady. Now, I'm calm about it on the outside. But, on the inside I'm steaming!

 

[mzcris]

I've never had this happen to me. But I don't care for certain questions...like do ya'll get a perm like us, how did you go from curls yesterday to straight today....

 

[anon123]

Yeah, add you to the list. I would be in your hair too. And you'd come here and talk about me. I'on curr. I would have my fingers molesting your scalp on a regular basis.

 

[silkii_locks]

Well Stated!!!

Thank you!

 

[CurlyMoo]

White women only compliment my hair. Hispanic women get touchy feely and ask if I ever straighten my hair.

ETA: I notice that this is an issue with Black women. Most women of other races touch each other's hair or touch each other. It's a sign of affection. If it includes pulling and snatching then that's something else.

 

[MAMATO]

That does not bother me at all, if they touch my hair, I just touch theirs, then we respectively compliment each other and KIM...Life is too short to get frustrated on something so trivial

ETA: I agree it is a sign of affection. In the sad world we live in, why would I reject that? I dont worry about microbs, you'll get them anyways by shaking their hands, by opening a bathroom door, getting money change or buying your coffee ...

 

[CurlyMoo]

Okay, ITA with the bolded. I had two roomates my sophomore year and one was Filipino and the other was Chinese. I was their first up close experience with a black person at all. The chinese chick had never EVER talked to a black person... they always ASKED first, but wanted to touch and ask questions about all my braid styles, natural hair... even wanted to do each others hair ( I declined)

Why did you decline?

 

[*Muffin*]

I do not think this is a natural tendency. I have NEVER in my life put my hands in someone's hair outside of my son, SO or if I was combing my little cousins hair. Nor have I ever saw someone's hair and wanted to touch. This is not something I can fathom. Heck....I see things all the time that I may want to touch, but don't. Why would I do that to a human being?? perplexedperplexed

Since the act is so common, I assume it is a natural tendency. I can understand that some things are hard to fathom, especially if it's not something we do. When I was going to high school it was very common for girls to play in the hair of the girl in front of them. At first I thought they must know each other, but then I had a girl do it to me whom I did not know at all when I was in class. I doubt that most of the white women that touch black women's hair have alterior motives while doing so. They probably don't even know what they are doing is offensive. I would just let them know it bothers me, and they should stop. It's when they continue touching your hair AFTER you've told them to stop that would be offensive.

 

[prospurr4]

If someone (regardless of race) touches my hair, I see it as an expression of admiration. However, if I think that person is trying to weave-check me, then I take it as a compliment.

Eiither way, it certainly doesn't bother me.

 

[CurlyMoo]

My sentiments exactly - and I don't give a hot damn who you are or your race. As a matter of fact, when I went out with my DH on our first date, he ran his fingers all up and down the back of my hair (because his arm was on the passenger seat of the car - so he says). I cussed his rude a** out too.

As a person who experiences things through sense, I can understand wanting to touch something, but for the love of sanity, ASK FIRST!!! A woman's hair is very personal. I don't walk around touching white women's tits, or men's packages to see how they feel or to see if they are real.

You are NOT entitled to touch me just cause you want to, are curious, or feel like it. @*&$%!!

I was going out with a guy who pet my hair like a kitten and I loved it. Love when men touch my hair out of affection. Only if I am dating them, strangers and aquaintences NO.

 

[soulie]

I regard it as presumptuous for ANYONE to TOUCH me ANYWHERE without my prior and express approval. The only exception to this will be if I am about to step into traffic in the path of a moving vehicle, or if I am about to step off a precipice. To me it is the height of disrespect and disregard for my feelings and my space. I guess it's the way I carry myself; people don't presume that it is okay to feel/pat/paw/maul me.

 

[MAMATO]

Y'all better not move to some Western European, Mediterranean, Carraibean, African countries. People are all over touching you while they are talking to you LOL LOL LOL

ETA: I travel a lot for my job. I remember once my English and French coworkers and I gave each other two big kisses on the cheeks at the end of the conference as a matter of saying good bye since we were flying back home pretty soon... the red faces of my American co-workers were priceless LOL LOL LOL

 

[keepithealthy]

Y'all better not move to some Western European, Mediterranean, Carraibean, African countries. People are all over touching you while they are talking to you LOL LOL LOL

ETA: I travel a lot for my job. I remember once my English and French coworkers and I gave each other two big kisses on the chicks at the end of the conference as a matter of saying good bye since we were flying back home pretty soon... the red faces of my American co-workers were priceless LOL LOL LOL

lol lol thats true in alot of other countries people are more "touchy feely".

 

[CurlyMoo]

Y'all better not move to some Western European, Mediterranean, Carraibean, African countries. People are all over touching you while they are talking to you LOL LOL LOL

ETA: I travel a lot for my job. I remember once my English and French coworkers and I gave each other two big kisses on the chicks at the end of the conference as a matter of saying good bye since we were flying back home pretty soon... the red faces of my American co-workers were priceless LOL LOL LOL

Yes this is true, particularily in Latin American countries. I almost boxed the ears of a guy in Cuba for rubbing my back and arms while we were talking.

 

[CurlyMoo]

lol lol thats true in alot of other countries people are more "touchy feely".

I've only noticed this from people of Latin decent not the Germans and English. But the French and Spanish yes. Latins tend to be very physical.

 

[ladylibra]

ETA: I notice that this is an issue with Black women. Most women of other races touch each other's hair or touch each other. It's a sign of affection. If it includes pulling and snatching then that's something else.

ITA. that's why i say, friends are different than strangers. i wouldn't want some random person just touching my arm... if a friend did it, i'd assume they really need something from me or whatever.

Y'all better not move to some Western European, Mediterranean, Carraibean, African countries. People are all over touching you while they are talking to you LOL LOL LOL

ETA: I travel a lot for my job. I remember once my English and French coworkers and I gave each other two big kisses on the chicks at the end of the conference as a matter of saying good bye since we were flying back home pretty soon... the red faces of my American co-workers were priceless LOL LOL LOL

very true. a lot of my Hispanic friends (not just Mexican, but South Americans too) are much more "touchy-feely" than my American friends. the guys for example insist on hugging me when we greet instead of a simple "hello." naturally SO didn't like it at first but they are never out of line with it, no groping or anything like that. i'm sure if they weren't "Americanized" by living here, they'd also kiss me on the cheek like a lot of the girls do. again... different because they're friends (and because we live in the U.S.). it would be rather odd to me if i politely said "hello" to a stranger in passing, and they grabbed me and hugged me, then kissed me on the cheek.

 

[lowridin76]

I've never had anyone's hand in my hair. That seems odd, and I guess means my hair's not touch-worthy, lol.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I learned in a Black career development class this week that it happens to 99% of the Black women at my company....and one man who had braids. Relaxed heads and naturals alike are experiencing this.

What is that about? They don't go around touching each other's hair?

When it happens, what do you do? How do you react? If it's at work do you react differently than if it happens at a social event unrelated to work?

I'm annoyed when anybody puts their hands into my hair, white, black, purple with polkadots. They don't have to touch me and I don't like it. Don't touch my head. How'd they like it if I cupped their breasts? My hair is just that personal.

 

[RedVelvet310]

I'm not a fan of anyone touching my hair. And WW are not even the worst. I find (with natural hair) it's black men who are the most hands on. I feel like Neo from the Matrix with the guy I'm dating right now because anytime I wear my hair in a wash-n-go he has to try and put his hands in it!

 

[MAMATO]

Yes this is true, particularily in Latin American countries. I almost boxed the ears of a guy in Cuba for rubbing my back and arms while we were talking.

It is a cultural thing... and yes your Cuban was probably stretching it a little bit.

At least I learned something today, I better not be touchy with my beautiful African American sisters while I'll be traveling in the US That will be hard though since it is in my genes anyway

Heck naw, I'll do that anyways, I dont mind being Guess what, I will still love you anyways

 

[1QTPie]

I aint skurred of you or FYB87. Brang it on! I pull hair.

 

[MizAvalon]

I am annoyed when anyone, of ANY race, puts their hands in my hair. Unless you know me like that or you have been invited to, don't touch!

I see white women stroke and run their hands through each other's hair all the time though.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

The idea of random strangers or co-workers putting their hands in my hair makes me want to vomit. I do not know where their hands have been, and I would probably spend the whole day freaking out about it in my mind.

Now, friends, I don't mind. I play in their hair all the time, and I can not wait to get to the point where they actually want to play in mine.

 

[BARCA]

I don't really mind when people touch my hair as long as we're not complete strangers. At my last job there was a white girl who had really curly hair an we'd sometimes compare the "spring action" of of our curls.