Any ladies regret not telling a Guy...

[Neala21]

that you were interested in him but always kept him as a friend but now that he has another girl you are wishing you were her?

Okay, let me give you some background history as to why I am asking. I grew up with this guy since childhood. He would come pick me up for school and we'd walk to school and home. We also grew up in the church together as well. Then during my childhood I moved to the southern states with my mom for about 2 years and then we moved back to the northern states. During High school I met back up with my childhood crush. Everyone close to me knew I had a thing for him and would tell him all the time but I would deny it. (Too scared of rejection and the fact that so many girls liked him I didn't wanna feel like I was just another one to add to the list). Anyways his brother finally came to me an ask me if I liked his brother (my crush) and I said no (we were walking from school in the direction to my cursh's car and I felt like it was setup). So, time passes and he hooks up with another girl and we remain friends. Now I am in a different state once again and he is still with same girl. And all I think about how things could have been different if I would said yes!

Have any of you ladies been in a situation like this? IF so if you ever ran into them again would you tell them how you feel about them? or If you even had the way to contact them via email would you? Or just keep quiet and wait till they are available again or just move on?

 

[chichibean]

Neala... I know just how you feel!!! I have loved from afar too. But to be honest I would never let it go on (especially if I knew him as well as you know your man) without letting him know at some point.
I believe in living with NO regrets!! The last thing you want to do is feel like the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" girl! I wish you all the best... and I think you should eventually let him know if you are still plagued by it today. I know that rejection hurts and it is scary, but at least you will always know that you were confident enough to take the chance. And if you live your life that way... you never know what can happen.
My mom always said that if you take a risk there is a 50% chance you will get what you want... if you don't there is a 100% chance that you WON'T!
Good luck... you seem like a sweet person... he'd be crazy not to be flattered and happy about being with you

 

[Opalsunset]

Neala... I know just how you feel!!! I have loved from afar too. But to be honest I would never let it go on (especially if I knew him as well as you know your man) without letting him know at some point.
I believe in living with NO regrets!! The last thing you want to do is feel like the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" girl! I wish you all the best... and I think you should eventually let him know if you are still plagued by it today. I know that rejection hurts and it is scary, but at least you will always know that you were confident enough to take the chance. And if you live your life that way... you never know what can happen.
My mom always said that if you take a risk there is a 50% chance you will get what you want... if you don't there is a 100% chance that you WON'T!
Good luck... you seem like a sweet person... he'd be crazy not to be flattered and happy about being with you

I agree. I have been hurt before when I have told guys how I felt about them, but it wasn't like there was such a strong bond between the both of us so in this case I agree perhaps letting him know isn't such a bad idea because the fact that there may be regret if he does hook up with someone else will linger.

I care about this guy tremendously and we are best friends, he lives in another state and I am falling in love with him, at the same time I haven't told him that nor have I told him my feelings too detailed yet, I have hinted but. (you know guys dont get hints) so It's friends we will be for a while, I want to tell him how I feel I just am too shy to make the first move, but after reading this thread I'm thinking about it.

 

[Neala21]

Thanks for the replies so far!

Lately, I've just been REALLY contemplating it but I dont wanna ruin his current relationship by telling him how I feel but then on the other hand if I do and he drops his girl that's not my fault is it? Cause to me if they were to happen and would seem that he wasn't happy with his current girl.

I don't know what to do yet! More replies would ge helpful so I can really weigh things out. Cause I agree with the ladies so far if I don't tell him from MY own mouth he'll never know but then I have this thing where a guy is suppose to approach the woman if he's interested... Talk about confused!

Lord help us all!

 

[Everything Zen]

Been there, done that- and now he's living with that bag-of-a$$.

I say good for them.

I think that if he's a real man- and he was worth anything he'd be the one pursuing you one some kind of level.

 

[drasgrl]

I'd say drop it. What's the point of telling him now? Do you want him to leave his current gf for you? If he breaks up with her then tell him otherwise you had your chance the ship has sailed.

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

Thanks for the replies so far!

Lately, I've just been REALLY contemplating it but I dont wanna ruin his current relationship by telling him how I feel but then on the other hand if I do and he drops his girl that's not my fault is it? Cause to me if they were to happen and would seem that he wasn't happy with his current girl.

girl, don't do it.

 

[Butterfly08]

girl, don't do it.

2nd. If it was meant to be it will be. And I tend to agree with another poster who said if he was interested he would've pursued you.

 

[sky_blu]

Yep, I regret telling him until after the fact. So I told him after he started a relationship with someone else and he stopped speaking to me. I wish I would've told him when he was telling me how he felt about me and was open but I didnt because I wasnt sure if thats what I wanted. We were cool friends but I dunno. I say if he's in a relationship dont tell him now. He might get weird and stop talking to you.

 

[reallynow]

Been there done that............he always had an "on again off again" girlfriend. We are great friends so one day we were having lunch (oh bout 5 yrs after I fell hard in crush/like) and I told him how I felt, he was like girl why didn't you tell me, I was interested too... We were actually able to laugh about it and talk about how we felt, BUT we both knew that a relationship on that level between us wouldn't work so we remain friends.

If you truly have a friendship w/said person you may be able to tell him how you feel. Every situation is different. Good luck!

 

[gone_fishing]

Thanks for the replies so far!

Lately, I've just been REALLY contemplating it but I dont wanna ruin his current relationship by telling him how I feel but then on the other hand if I do and he drops his girl that's not my fault is it? Cause to me if they were to happen and would seem that he wasn't happy with his current girl.

I don't know what to do yet! More replies would ge helpful so I can really weigh things out. Cause I agree with the ladies so far if I don't tell him from MY own mouth he'll never know but then I have this thing where a guy is suppose to approach the woman if he's interested... Talk about confused!

Lord help us all!

Would you be feeling this sudden epiphany if he was single?

 

[Neala21]

Been there done that............he always had an "on again off again" girlfriend. We are great friends so one day we were having lunch (oh bout 5 yrs after I fell hard in crush/like) and I told him how I felt, he was like girl why didn't you tell me, I was interested too... We were actually able to laugh about it and talk about how we felt, BUT we both knew that a relationship on that level between us wouldn't work so we remain friends.

If you truly have a friendship w/said person you may be able to tell him how you feel. Every situation is different. Good luck!

Every situation is truly different! And if God allows us to cross paths in person again or the opportunity to tell him face to face and the circumstances are right (meaning he is single) then I will definately tell him how I feel. God knows me best and what's BEST for me! Time will tell!

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I'm going through something like this. Putting yourself out there is very scary. You can solicit all the advice in the world, but you have to do what is right for you.

I do believe that any man with a backbone would pursue you, but in 2008 it seems as if anything goes. Listen to your intuition and follow that!

 

[caribeandiva]

aww... I feel your pain. I was in the same situation for over 7 years. Close families, same church, universities, etc... Everyone knew i liked him even though i thought i hid it pretty well. I knew he liked me too because he always stares at me, even now. His brother even came up to me and asked me why am i putting his brother through this when i know he likes me.

So to make a long story short my crush asked me if i liked him point blank and i admitted it. He also said admitted that he liked me too but he's not single (i knew that). oh well. i'm dating others for now.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

2nd. If it was meant to be it will be. And I tend to agree with another poster who said if he was interested he would've pursued you.

I agree with this...why does he have to know exactly how you feel first before he pursues it...If he is interested there should be some sign from him...

 

[Neala21]

aww... I feel your pain. I was in the same situation for over 7 years. Close families, same church, universities, etc... Everyone knew i liked him even though i thought i hid it pretty well. I knew he liked me too because he always stares at me, even now. His brother even came up to me and asked me why am i putting his brother through this when i know he likes me.

So to make a long story short my crush asked me if i liked him point blank and i admitted it. He also said admitted that he liked me too but he's not single (i knew that). oh well. i'm dating others for now.

See that's what's sorta happened to me his brother asked me if i liked his brother (my crush) and instead of saying yeah I denied it b/c I knew we were approaching my crush's vehicle.

 

[Neala21]

Would you be feeling this sudden epiphany if he was single?

Even if he was single I can honestly say I would be feeling this epiphany. My thing while in high school I had some insecurities and being a twin didn't help cuz we were always being compared. So the day I told his brother I didn't like my crush I've been kicking myself ever since!

 

[Neala21]

I agree with this...why does he have to know exactly how you feel first before he pursues it...If he is interested there should be some sign from him...

There were signs that he liked me but b/c I kept denying everytime one of my friends told him I liked him. So, thinking from his point of view I would have been like this girl is on some games or she doesn't like me or she used to like me.

One thing I do know is I am NOT going to jeapordize a friendship or ruin his current relationship by trying to pursue. That aint me and KARMA is no joke! So if things lined up and we both are single and both interested then we'll see what happens. A woman's intuition is there for a reason.