Another Observation About Natural Hair...thinking about wearing it straight....

[lana]

I guess you didn't get my post...I wear my hair in it's natural state 99% of the time. Yesterday was like the 4th time straightening my hair even since I've been natural. I'm thinking about using heat to combat these rough ends.


Do you think using heat will just make it worse??? By the way, I have no desire to use chemicals on my hair.

Maybe I should just keep my hair short in order for my hair to look and feel healthy. Every style is just too stressful and involves too much manipulation for my hair texture. I just don't know what to do anymore.

There is no reason to keep your hair short in order to enjoy healthy ends. I used the Maxiglide when I was natural and it got my ends silky smooth. Also make sure you're washing with straightening shampoos and conditioners. I love Redken's Smooth Down line, you will notice a difference IMMEDIATELY in how much looser your curls/coils are. I wish you the best on your hair journey.

I'm texlaxed and I have to say that was the best thing I ever did for my hair since I wanted to wear it straight 100% of the time.

If you decide to trim, make sure and do it yourself or go to someone you trust. There is no reason to trim everything at once if you're worried about damage. You can trim a little bitty bit at a time so that it's less noticeable.

 

[Poohbear]

I forgot one major thing!!!!!

QHEMET BIOLOGICS DETANGLER, A DAB OF QB HEAVY CREAM, AND INFUSIUM 23(ORIGINAL)!!!

My hair usually curls back up while I blow it dry. However, the last time I got a great blow out with straight ends I put THE ORIGINAL INFUSIUM 23 IN MY HAIR WITH SOME QB DETANGLER, AND A DAB OF QB HEAVY CREAM.

I was sort of shocked. My hair was straight on the ends, and my hair was not damaged.

The next time I washed it reverted right back. Now some people complain that the QB line is too greasy, but for my dry hair it is perfect.

I use Infusium 23 Original Leave-in Treatment after washing my hair. I spray each section of my hair, detangle, then plait or twist my hair up. After my hair airdries, my hair is still crinkly and tangled in some areas.

Maybe I need to try that Qhemets Biologic stuff. And maybe I need to detangle with a finer tooth comb. The wide tooth comb just isn't doing it for my fine stranded densely compacted hair.

 

[Poohbear]

I so sorry to hear this. I can sense your frustration. I understand what you mean about your hair seeming damaged from wearing it shrunken. It seems like I lose way more hair when I wear my hair curly than when it's straight. (Maybe it's because when it's straight there is far less manipulation.?) You already know my routine (and I know that our curl patterns are different), but I thought that I could at least try to answer your questions.

1. How can I get my ends back in shape? How can get my ends feeling silky smooth when straightened?

If they are indeed damaged, you may really need a trim. In the mean time, I definitely recommend deep conditioning your hair at least twice a month. (I know some naturals, myself included sometimes, only wash every other week.)

2. What is the best way to airdry hair before flat ironing??? Rollersetting would be best for me for a good stretch but it can be somewhat tedious since I don't have a loose curl pattern, and when I airdry in braids or twists, my hair strands are either crinkly or matted together and I have to comb it out ONCE AGAIN before flat ironing.

You already know that I'm a big advocate for rollersetting and sitting under a bonnet dryer. That's the only thing that has ever really worked for me.

3. I am someone who doesn't deep condition, but I think I need to start doing this... what is a quality and affordable deep conditioner that will restore the moisture to my ends and give my hair flexibility after straightening?

I LOVE the ORS Replenishing Pak. It's like $1.25 per pack, and even with all of my hair, I only use one pack per wash. I put it on a sit under the dryer for about 15-30 min. (depending on how busy I am) before I rollerset. I say definitely deep condition if you plan to flat iron!

4. I can't wrap my straightened hair at night even if I try. How else can I wear my hair so it will not poof/frizz up?

Wrapping is what works for me. I don't understand why you can't wrap your hair. Maybe you need more practice. When I was in college, I cut my hair short, and it was really hard for me to wrap it, but with practice, I mastered it. I say keep practicing, and get a good scarf. I wrap with a paddle brush. It works like a charm when my hair is straight. If, in the end, wrapping is a no go, maybe you can try pin curls with bobby pins and then tie a scarf around it.

5. I'm thinking about straightening my hair with a flat iron every 2 weeks... is that okay, or should I aim for once a month?

If you do it every 2 weeks (which is what I do now becasue I have gotten lazy) I say you MUST deep condition. Aslo, you know that I set with leave-in. Also, don't forget a heat protectant, but don't use too much because they are sometimes really oilly. Someone here recommended that I try a wax to flat iron my hair. It supposedly helps in humidity, but I haven't tried that so I have no personal experience.

I hope that I have helped you a little. Don't let it get you down. I know this is very frustrating. This summer, I was almost ready to go back to the chemicals because I was so frustrated with my hair. Thank God I didn't do that because now I've fallen back in love with my natural hair. I've been wearing it curly more, but for fear of shedding and breakage, it actually seems stronger when it's flat ironed.

Thanks for your advice. The FIRST time I ever straightened my hair with a flat ALL your advice from that thread about naturals who use heat tips... I washed my hair, conditioned with the ORS pak, rollersetted with infusium 23, airdried, flat-ironed with Jilbere flat iron and Silk Elements heat protection spray... and I got big poofy hair with jacked up ends while you got sleek and smooth hair. I think it's because our hair textures are different.

This time around, I used this Mizani silkening wax as a heat protectant. It did a pretty good job except my ends. Hopefully, I can figure out something.

My rough frizzy ends are the reason why I can't wrap my hair. I'm afraid they will just break off if I start brushing my hair around my head to wrap it. Some of my ends are matted together too. erplexed

 

[Poohbear]

See everyones hair is different. I have 4 hair and those oils are perfect for me.

Since your ends were clipped in August they are probably fine.

Try the coconut oil, or sesame oil, or sunflower, or jojoba. You may also be more of a butter person.

When I say baggie method, I mean cover your whole head with a plastic cap, and tie it up with a scarf and night. This of course would be done when your hair natural, because it is pressed and you do this, your hair will be wet in the morning when you take the scarf and plastic cap off.

I've done this several times... it leaves my hair feeling moisturized, but it leaves it smelling funny and tangled up and shrunken more. And I didn't like sleeping in a plastic cap with a scarf over it. The sound of the plastic cap when I moved around in my sleep would keep me awake.

And I'm not sure if I'm a butter person... I've used shea butter on my hair and it didn't do anything.

My hair likes grease for styling in twists and braids, but I'm just tired of my twists and braids shrinking and I'm tired of looking like a little kid. Everyone that sees me says I look like I'm in the 12-16 year old range. I'm 23 years old.

 

[imstush]

Hey Poohbear...we don't have the same curl pattern but I started doing what Diva does and it works great for me. When you rollerset, make sure your hair is wet and your ends are flat against the roller..that helped my rollersets. Also as far as reverting back to your texture...my hair usually reverts quickly from standing in the hot train station, so I purchased the Aveda Anti humectant (I think that's the name) and it definitely works like a charm.

 

[gmw]

I use Infusium 23 Original Leave-in Treatment after washing my hair. I spray each section of my hair, detangle, then plait or twist my hair up. After my hair airdries, my hair is still crinkly and tangled in some areas.

Maybe I need to try that Qhemets Biologic stuff. And maybe I need to detangle with a finer tooth comb. The wide tooth comb just isn't doing it for my fine stranded densely compacted hair.

Wow PB you are right on it. I wouldn't use that much Infusium 23. I noticed that it does make the hair hard. So I just put about a quarter size in for all of my hair. Then I back up with QB products. They are very moisturizing for my hair.

 

[Twisties]

My hair shrinks too much to go into a baggy. See, I don't have a loose curl pattern like most naturals here who do the baggy method (Chicoro comes to mind). I could put my hair in two puffs and put two baggies on each one but I think that's too much manipulation and will cause even more shrinkage.

The following oils make my hair dry and crispy: EVOO, olive oil, and castor oil. Hot Six Oil does a pretty good job at keeping my hair soft and moisturized, and I still haven't tried coconut oil on my natural hair. Looks like I just need to stock up on a good deep conditioner and a good oil to put on my ends each night.

The last time I had a trim was around the end of August.

I fogot this suggestion earlier, but all those oils you list here, plus Shea Butter made my hair hard like you are decribing. However, these oils are working as a oil rinse. So I went back to good old fashion grease as a final moisture sealer. A lot are opposed to this, but it works for me and I have tried a lot of things.

After I have done my final rinse, I GENTLY towel blot my hair and then I seal the moisture in with either Blue Magic Coconut GREASE or plain old Vaseline (this in done only once, not daily). Then the following days, I use ORS Olive Oil Moisturizer daily until my next wash. My hair stays soft and ends are not bad off. Scalp not clogged either.

It is up to you if you want to try this, but it worked and I admit, it took me a long time to face that fact that I needed something from the old school -- "back in the day straight up grease" in my hair to help me.

 

[Poohbear]

2. What is the best way to airdry hair before flat ironing??? Rollersetting would be best for me for a good stretch but it can be somewhat tedious since I don't have a loose curl pattern, and when I airdry in braids or twists, my hair strands are either crinkly or matted together and I have to comb it out ONCE AGAIN before flat ironing.

I've only flat ironed once, but I rollerset it beforehand. Can I ask what you use to detangle? I've found that like you my ends get ratty fast and I've started using a paddle brush after I use the wide tooth comb. I'll run the comb through first and then take the brush and smooth that same section out. I don't know why but it's really help with my ends...and it's made rollersetting easier too.

Thanks mkstar for your advice. I use Infusium 23 to detangle before rollersetting or putting my hair in braids or twists. Maybe I need to use a paddle brush after detangling with a comb to make it easier.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I read your reply, and I can definitely sense your frustration. I just wanted to add one more thing. I can NEVER air dry my hair before I straighten it. I ALWYAS sit under the dryer. If I didn't, I would have a big puffy mess too.

I have learned that even my curly looks turn out better when I sit under the dryer to dry. I am a FIRM believer in the bonnet dryer. The times I tried to use a blow dryer, my ends turned out just like yours.

 

[Poohbear]

I fogot this suggestion earlier, but all those oils you list here, plus Shea Butter made my hair hard like you are decribing. However, these oils are working as a oil rinse. So I went back to good old fashion grease as a final moisture sealer. A lot are opposed to this, but it works for me and I have tried a lot of things.

After I have done my final rinse, I GENTLY towel blot my hair and then I seal the moisture in with either Blue Magic Coconut GREASE or plain old Vaseline (this in done only once, not daily). Then the following days, I use ORS Olive Oil Moisturizer daily until my next wash. My hair stays soft and ends are not bad off. Scalp not clogged either.

It is up to you if you want to try this, but it worked and I admit, it took me a long time to face that fact that I needed something from the old school -- "back in the day straight up grease" in my hair to help me.

I have Blue Magic Coconut Oil Grease. It works great for styling my hair in twists and braids, but I'm tired of twists and braids as a style. However, grease doesn't work very well for airdrying my hair. I have to do so much to my hair to get it to look right to me. I have to first airdry it in twists or plaits. After my hair airdries, it looks like Miss Ceely. So I have to unravel and re-style in twists. Sooner or later, it starts looking like Miss Ceely again because my hair is very layered and uneven.

 

[Poohbear]

I read your reply, and I can definitely sense your frustration. I just wanted to add one more thing. I can NEVER air dry my hair before I straighten it. I ALWYAS sit under the dryer. If I didn't, I would have a big puffy mess too.

I have learned that even my curly looks turn out better when I sit under the dryer to dry. I am a FIRM believer in the bonnet dryer. The times I tried to use a blow dryer, my ends turned out just like yours.

Oh okay. I will use a bonnet dryer next time when drying my hair in rollers.

I can't use a blow dryer on my natural hair either. My hair laughs at a blow dryer.

Edited to add: maybe I need to dry under a bonnet dryer when I put my hair in plaits or twists as well!!!

 

[Twisties]

I have Blue Magic Coconut Oil Grease. It works great for styling my hair in twists and braids, but I'm tired of twists and braids as a style. However, grease doesn't work very well for airdrying my hair. I have to do so much to my hair to get it to look right to me. I have to first airdry it in twists or plaits. After my hair airdries, it looks like Miss Ceely. So I have to unravel and re-style in twists. Sooner or later, it starts looking like Miss Ceely again because my hair is very layered and uneven.

Poohbear I am cracking up and do feel the frustration coming through!

Have you considered a cute wig when you feel like this. That's another option. When I get real tired of twists, puffs, 'fros and plaits, I pull out some of my cute wigs (I have straight and curly) depending on my mood.

 

[Poohbear]

Poohbear I am cracking up and do feel the frustration coming through!

Have you considered a cute wig when you feel like this. That's another option. When I get real tired of twists, puffs, 'fros and plaits, I pull out some of my cute wigs (I have straight and curly) depending on my mood.

Sorry but I HATE FAKE HAIR WITH A PASSION! It crossed my mind for a split second and then I thought to myself "No, I can't do it." Wigs just don't look right to me. don't want to walk around with a wig on my head when everyone else is wearing their hair out in all its glory. I've also thought about braid extensions, but I know I would take them out after a week of wearing them.

 

[Afrikaisi]

I have Blue Magic Coconut Oil Grease. It works great for styling my hair in twists and braids, but I'm tired of twists and braids as a style. However, grease doesn't work very well for airdrying my hair. I have to do so much to my hair to get it to look right to me. I have to first airdry it in twists or plaits. After my hair airdries, it looks like Miss Ceely. So I have to unravel and re-style in twists. Sooner or later, it starts looking like Miss Ceely again because my hair is very layered and uneven.

Sorry, but this is funny. I understand it all too well.

 

[Afrikaisi]

I just looked at your fotki. You are too cute lady. You remind me of my Aunt Tina, well when she was much younger. She had all the guys!

Anyway I hope everything works out for you. You are making me want to just go ahead and start me some locs and forget about wearing my hair loose.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Oh okay. I will use a bonnet dryer next time when drying my hair in rollers.

I can't use a blow dryer on my natural hair either. My hair laughs at a blow dryer.

Edited to add: maybe I need to dry under a bonnet dryer when I put my hair in plaits or twists as well!!!

I was just about to add this.

Personally it wasn't until very recently that I was able to get a good twistout w/out sitting under a bonnet dryer. If i didn't I'd have a big poufy mess instead of defined curls and coils and smooth ends.

Also I gave up the leave in game. It didn't work for me. It just made my hair drier. Now I use water, castor oil, and suave coconut conditoner in a spray bottle and spray my hair with that as I twist. I have worked with hair I think is very similar to yours and one thing I haven't noticed in reading your posts in your regular mositurizer. What do you use in your hair underneath the oil. I did my gf's hair who has a very similar cottony texture as you, and she was just oil and gel, and couldn't get the smooth twist out she wanted. I used healthy hair butter, my spray bottle mix, and topped it off w/ miss jessie's curly meringue clamped the roots and sat her under the dryer for about 30 minutes. She didn't take the twists out until the next morning, and she said it was the most defined and healthiest she'd ever seen her hair. Which brings me to my second point...

I think you have a point about the wash and gos. I think that wearing them too much is too much stress on the hair b/c of all the dentangling that has to be done after. IMO I think only twistouts, braidouts or something that stretched the hair, adn encourages it not to tangle are beneficial to very textured hair. And I do twistouts after washing about once a week, and then do retouches where I retwist bad looking pieces throughout the week. And I apply healthy hair butter, or hair milk every night b4 putting on my satin bonnet. It'll take some time, but it's worth it. HTH!

 

[Maynard]

I thought you were going to loc your hair?

I cant keep up!

 

[Poohbear]

I was just about to add this.

Personally it wasn't until very recently that I was able to get a good twistout w/out sitting under a bonnet dryer. If i didn't I'd have a big poufy mess instead of defined curls and coils and smooth ends.

Also I gave up the leave in game. It didn't work for me. It just made my hair drier. Now I use water, castor oil, and suave coconut conditoner in a spray bottle and spray my hair with that as I twist. I have worked with hair I think is very similar to yours and one thing I haven't noticed in reading your posts in your regular mositurizer. What do you use in your hair underneath the oil. I did my gf's hair who has a very similar cottony texture as you, and she was just oil and gel, and couldn't get the smooth twist out she wanted. I used healthy hair butter, my spray bottle mix, and topped it off w/ miss jessie's curly meringue clamped the roots and sat her under the dryer for about 30 minutes. She didn't take the twists out until the next morning, and she said it was the most defined and healthiest she'd ever seen her hair. Which brings me to my second point...

I think you have a point about the wash and gos. I think that wearing them too much is too much stress on the hair b/c of all the dentangling that has to be done after. IMO I think only twistouts, braidouts or something that stretched the hair, adn encourages it not to tangle are beneficial to very textured hair. And I do twistouts after washing about once a week, and then do retouches where I retwist bad looking pieces throughout the week. And I apply healthy hair butter, or hair milk every night b4 putting on my satin bonnet. It'll take some time, but it's worth it. HTH!

I've tried all types of moisturizers. The moisturizer I'm currently using is African Royale BRX braid spray. Moisturizers I've used in the past: BB Oil Moisturizer with Aloe & castor oil, S-Curl, African Organics Shea Butter Lotion.

I don't think I'm ever going to do a wash n go again.

When I do twistouts and braidouts... I think I need to do even more babying to my hair. I usually don't moisturize when I do twistouts and braidouts because of SHRINKAGE!!!! But I guess I just have to bite the bullet and moisturize and retwist and rebraid every night.

Maybe I need to stick with twistouts instead of straightening with heat. I've been looking at natural hair styles and came across this picture...I want my hair like T'Keyah:

Here hair looks like it's in the same shape as mine... shorter in the front and longer in the back...but her hair is probably looser in hair texture than mine. I'm hoping I can maybe achieve this style... if only I can figure out how to properly dry my hair after washing and twisting it up, I would have it made. I hope drying under a hooded/bonnet dryer works for me.

 

[realitychk]

Wow! Her twist-out is gorgeous!

 

[CORBINS]

Hey Pooh:
I can truly understand your frustrations. It's difficult to stay on track with 4a/4b hair. I have a few recipes for deep conditioners that I wanted to share with you. They have helped me keep my ends in shape ( I have a bad habit of trimming them whenever they don't look right to me). You just need to give the deep conditoners time to work on your hair. I also tried straightening and it did my hair absolultely no good. I hope these recipes help.

SPLIT END TREATMENT
1 tsp Honey
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 Egg Yolk

Mix honey with olive oil, beat in egg yolk. Massage on hair, wrap with shower cap for 30 mins, rinse and shampoo.

REVERSE DRY HAIR
Simmer together one cup of milk,one cup of water, and dried rose petals. Allow mixture to cool and pour into blender. Add a ripe avocado and 2 tsps of honey and almond paste (or almond oil without alcohol). Blend - Massage into hair, wrap in plastic and rinse after 30 mins.

DEEP HOT OIL TREATMENT
1 tablespoon Refined Casto Oil
1 tablespoon Soybean Oil
Apply a hot towel to head to open pores. Leave on for 2 mins. Mix Oil, Warm mixture over low flame until luke warm. Massage oil into hair and ends. Wrap hair in a hot towel for 15-20 mins then shampoo.

 

[Poohbear]

Hey Pooh:
I can truly understand your frustrations. It's difficult to stay on track with 4a/4b hair. I have a few recipes for deep conditioners that I wanted to share with you. They have helped me keep my ends in shape ( I have a bad habit of trimming them whenever they don't look right to me). You just need to give the deep conditoners time to work on your hair. I also tried straightening and it did my hair absolultely no good. I hope these recipes help.

SPLIT END TREATMENT
1 tsp Honey
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 Egg Yolk

Mix honey with olive oil, beat in egg yolk. Massage on hair, wrap with shower cap for 30 mins, rinse and shampoo.

REVERSE DRY HAIR
Simmer together one cup of milk,one cup of water, and dried rose petals. Allow mixture to cool and pour into blender. Add a ripe avocado and 2 tsps of honey and almond paste (or almond oil without alcohol). Blend - Massage into hair, wrap in plastic and rinse after 30 mins.

DEEP HOT OIL TREATMENT
1 tablespoon Refined Casto Oil
1 tablespoon Soybean Oil
Apply a hot towel to head to open pores. Leave on for 2 mins. Mix Oil, Warm mixture over low flame until luke warm. Massage oil into hair and ends. Wrap hair in a hot towel for 15-20 mins then shampoo.

Thank you for those recipes.

But I'm afraid to apply honey and castor oil to my hair. They made my hair sticky. Do they work better when mixed with other things?

 

[Soliel185]

I've noticed that split and rough ends are not nearly as noticable on curly or textured hair. So when someone who normally wears their hair curly straightens, they usually have rough dry ends and are in need of a trim - they just never realized it b/c it blended into their hair texture. You'll see this on all heads, not just the AA ones. You can try being extra nice, sealing with castor oil, stuff like that. As for Deep Con, there are a good number of cheap ones, another option is to add ingredients to a cheap con base and leave it on longer. It depends on your preference. HTH

 

[CORBINS]

Thank you for those recipes.

But I'm afraid to apply honey and castor oil to my hair. They made my hair sticky. Do they work better when mixed with other things?

These recipes only require a small amount of each. Plus, with both of the recipes that require honey and castor oil, you have to *shampoo* after using them.

 

[gradygirl]

My ends were extremely dry and brittle. Deep conditioning for an hour each wash has really turned my hair around.

 

[hothair]

Poohbear there is a sticky Tracy did for double processed hairhttp://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=26204&highlight=bootcamp+2004(i'm only coloured) but my ends looked like yours when I straightened them. The treatment uses foil paper and olive oil to "seal" your ends! It worked brilliantly and also a lil glycerin in my moisture spray helped immensely

 

[glamazon386]

PoohBear, I thought you were locking?

But anyway, I honestly think that our ends being raggedy like that comes from those one strand knots. When I got my hair colored, trimmed and flat ironed at the salon a little over a month ago my ends were clean when I left. But when I got home I ended up having to re flat iron my hair because I spent too much time outside and my hair puffed. He used different products that day and for some reason serums make my hair fuzzy. It usually doesn't do that.

But when I went to run the flat iron over my hair, I noticed some one strand knots. I never really notice them when my hair is in it's natural state. I generally don't even get tangles in my hair. But as I was bringing the iron close to my ends I could hear pieces breaking off. IDK why it does this only when I do my own hair though. When he does my hair at the salon it doesn't happen. Clearly it doesn't because my ends look perfect when he's done and I have a fresh trim. The 2nd time I went to him I thought I needed a trim and he was like no your ends look fine. You don't need one.

My hair is healthy I don't have any problems with breakage. But I really think that it was breaking off on strands where those little knots were. And I noticed a few days later that my ends no longer looked clean cut. So I've just been trying to pay more attention to my ends and keep my hair moisturized. I'll only see those knots like around my edges when my hair gets really dry. (like when I have a weave I always get them in this one patch in the very back near my nape and around my hairline both on the left side. I guess just from the hair getting wet in the shower and shrinking back up.)

 

[cocoberry10]

Subscribing to this thread, b/c I think I'll have the same issues when I'm natural!

 

[Hair Iam]

Hi love..Congrats on your growth!
Training you ends are important. I don't feel that you need to cut; I think your end need to be trained. For example 2 strand twists for a week could help to improve your ends. After doing them, use a mix of olive oil and castor oil or any oil mixed with castor oil. Lubricate your twists daily. I believe this will greatly improve them. Also start digesting some healthy oil ....everything starts from the inside out. Just 2 cents worth
Keep up your good work

 

[danimani]

I've had a lot of luck flat ironing--I'm a ton better but I still have some ways to go.

I always wash and condition the night before, braid my entire head, and straighten one braid at a time. My hair would never get straight any other way. Your ends need to be incredibly well moisturized in order to get them straight flat ironing.

I also have my flat iron on above 375 and I go through it twice. I also blow dry straight each piece before I flat iron it.

Finally, I have a ceramic curling iron and I usually curl the ends and that also helps with the frizziness.

It takes a LOT of patience. I read on hear about flat ironing hair in 45 minutes or less-HA! It takes me close to 2 hours, but the end result is worth it.

Another thing--the longer my hair gets, the easier it is to flat iron, because (at least in my case) the healthier it is. My hair was looking like a burnt crispy mess when I first started flat ironing it--I was only neck length. I'm nearly armpit length now and it looks way, way different.

 

[Wildchild453]

I think wearing my hair in it's shrunken state has ruined my ends. My natural hair is very different than most naturals here who have loose coils and curls... my hair strands clump and tightly coil around each other and even stick/matt together especially after wetting/washing. No matter how much I detangle my hair, it is still tangled after washing. I have to do another detangling session in order to stretch my hair out. So I think all this clumping, coiling, twisting, and bending has caused my ends to be totally out of wack. As my hair gets longer, all of this gets worse!

So, I have been thinking of adopting a straightening routine for smooth hair (and so people don't think I'm a 12 year old), but I need your help. My ends look and feel horrible after straightening my hair with a flat iron. And given that my hair grows out in layers doesn't help either. They aren't breaking off or anything, they just feel rough (I may need a trim). My roots and hair shaft look and feel great. I'm thinking my ends aren't in as good of a condition as my roots and hair shaft. After flat ironing my hair yesterday, I oiled my ends really good and rolled my ends with rollers. I really don't want to have to do this every night just to have nicer ends.

Now on to my questions for my natural ladies:

1. How can I get my ends back in shape? How can get my ends feeling silky smooth when straightened?

2. What is the best way to airdry hair before flat ironing??? Rollersetting would be best for me for a good stretch but it can be somewhat tedious since I don't have a loose curl pattern, and when I airdry in braids or twists, my hair strands are either crinkly or matted together and I have to comb it out ONCE AGAIN before flat ironing.

3. I am someone who doesn't deep condition, but I think I need to start doing this... what is a quality and affordable deep conditioner that will restore the moisture to my ends and give my hair flexibility after straightening?

4. I can't wrap my straightened hair at night even if I try. How else can I wear my hair so it will not poof/frizz up?

5. I'm thinking about straightening my hair with a flat iron every 2 weeks... is that okay, or should I aim for once a month?

Thanks in advance!
Poohbear

Here are pics of how my hair looks when straightened...the front view (roots & hair shaft) looks alright:

...here's a back view of my layered hair and horrible looking ends:

I know how you feel, when I flat iron my hair at home my ends always come out looking raggedy and I don't know why

To answer your questions:

1) you can try putting a little product on your ends and then oiling(sealing) them. that should help alot

3) I really like Miss Keyes 10 en 1 and have recently started using a mix of coconut milk and Trader Joe's Nourish Conditioner

4) When I didn't feel like wrapping, I would just pin it up with a bobby pin and then put my scarf on. It didn't really matter to me since I didnt really wear my hair down

5) I think every 2 weeks is alot. I used to do that and I noticed a definite change in my hair texture