Am I over analyzing/over sensitive? LONG VENT!

[blac_quarian]

The background to this story is: I have always had a decend head of hair, the longest it has been without any great effort on my part is approx 2" past shoulder length and thick. I experienced horrible nape area breakage and as a result my hair's length/volume has diminished. Hence, my hair journey began this year...

Back to the story - I have a friend who is a really great and giving person; I consider her a good friend. However, recently I have been making note (mentally that is) of comments she's made about my hair and now she is practically forcing her haircare opinions on me, none of which I agree with. She is driving me crazy and I am trying to hold it down. I think it's the way she presents her opinions too - in a sort of finger-wagging, tsk-tsk-tsk, "listen to me, cos I know" style. She won't give it up; it's as if she has to demonstrate at every opportunity that my hair is crappy right now. Granted, her hair is currently longer than mine for the first time and she can't seem to get over it! I have never been one to antagonize/torment other females with my long hair status (when I had it), as a matter of fact I usually wore my hair up. About 18 months ago when she sustained damage and had to cut her hair to an ear-length bob, I encouraged her to take vitamins and assured her it would grow back even without the knowledge I have now. I also remember a few years back when we first became friendly, she saw my hair out for the first time and commented "I didn't know your hair was that long, nobody's hair is supposed to be longer than mine!" I took it as a joke at the time, but now I believe it was a serious sentiment.

Am I trippin'? My cousin thinks she is competing with me on some level and predicts the "competition" will escalate and may become an issue when my hair is restored. What do you ladies think? How should I handle this one? Should I just pretend to take her advice instead of debating? Like I say, I do like her as a person and value our friendship.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Unfortunately, when it comes to our hair, for many women it is a competition.

Just take her advice with a smile and a thank you, and keep stepping and doing what you want to do. If she gets even more pushy, you two may have to have a heart to heart.

Congrats on taking steps to get your hair back to healthy condition...you can do it!!!!

 

[sky_blu]

Yep! Sounds like your cousin is right. I dont know why people like to compete about petty things. I would just ignore her and next time she try to force advice on you, tell her exactly what you just told us.

 

[ThinNnappy]

H##LLL no you not bein over sensitive, girl let me tell you bout my bfreind
I have a friend exactly like that-went through the same thing as you, and as soon as i cut my hair her mouth opened up, i was so shocked, cause her hair has never ever been longer then mine and i never said anything to her, always helped her.(my hair is the same length as yours to) But now
shes always telling me this and that and "oh, i remember when your hair was longer than mine" or "i dont know what you did" -I asked her why shes always doing this and i never did that to her when my hair was longer my friend said "cause i can, and your hair wont be longer than mine again cause you bald head" like i dont know how to take care of my head, and thats why my hair is shorter than hers, not cause i cut it. so I said ok-but you know what im gonna do, keep my anger and fustration to myself, let her degrade me if she wants to-keep offering her my help when shes messin up her head-which she laughs at, and in a good 3-5 months let her see instead of me trying to tell her and let her know how simple and childish that mess was and keep bein nice

 

[blac_quarian]

I know, I know ladies! We all know that our hair shouldn't define us as women. It's just hair after all. But when our friends and acquaintances deal with us in a "snide" and/or pushy way, it is hurtful, particularly when you know you would never treat them in that way. I guess I will just smile but in the end I will show and prove. It just gets kinda irritating with all the remarks and unsolicited advice! I will not compete over hair length with anyone. It ain't that serious. I am on this journey for my own satisfaction and to restore my hair's health. Thank you all for reading my post

ThinnNnappy, I hear your frustration girl!

 

[Dee-Licious]

I completly feel your frustration!! With the help of this site I restored my hair to a great health, but due to a coloring job doen by and inept stylist my hair was damaged. I have learned such GREAT info from the ladies here, and it is so irritating wheN I try to pass advice from here on to my cousins who just say, "Look at your hair now!" It's like because my hair was damamged this once the advice that they NEED to use is not valid. I just shut my mouth and keep my adice to myself since it's unappreciated. GOOD LUCK IN WORKING ON YOUR HAIR, BUT NEVER ARGUE WITH OTHERS OVER YOUR OWN HAIR.. JUST DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT FOR YOUR HAIR!!!

 

[UmSumayyah]

thinnnappy I would dump her as a friend.
She treats you badly "because she can"?
And you want to keep someone like that in your life?

 

[jasmin]

Wow these are some kind of friends you all have.

 

[sareca]

thinnnappy I would dump her as a friend.
She treats you badly "because she can"?
And you want to keep someone like that in your life?

Try to be understanding. We all have faults and she may not realize how hurtful that is... Ok, now that I've said that I'll tell you what I'm really thinking... "that ***** needs to go!"

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Wow these are some kind of friends you all have.

my thoughts exactly... those negative chicks need to go... being triumphant because their hair is longer?... ugh!