After How Many Years of Marriage Is It "Too Late" To Get A Divorce?

[MrsQueeny]

My friend's parents got divorced in their sixties. The wife waited until her husband got sick and left him. She said that she when she was young and raising her children and needed him he was running all over town with different women. Now that she no longer needs him, he can get one of those women to come and take care of him. I kind of feel bad for her husband, but he brought it on himself.

Now that's gangsta!!! Q

 

[prettywhitty]

It's never too late to start over. There is no price tag that can pay for having peace of mind...we don't know what kind of man Santana is, he could be crazy.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

My friend's parents got divorced in their sixties. The wife waited until her husband got sick and left him. She said that she when she was young and raising her children and needed him he was running all over town with different women. Now that she no longer needs him, he can get one of those women to come and take care of him. I kind of feel bad for her husband, but he brought it on himself.

I see that a lot. I used to wonder why I'd see these old-old looking men nearly dribbling on themselves and some older, but comparatively younger woman looking vibrant and happy. I think a lot of women (esp. of the old school) get their revenge in the end. Those men spent their youth chasing booty, the women stayed home and put up with it. In old age the husbands are too old and frail to put up much fight. The woman then has control over everything she didn't have any domain over.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

as a commercial used to say, it's never too late for a new beginning...

 

[gn1g]

reading this thread made me think about Patti LaBell. Girlfriend is a trooper or at least it appears that way. She was married 30+ years and left that man! And she looks better and better all the time.

 

[Laginappe]

That reasoning relies on the belief that finding a romantic partner/replacement is a priority for both the individuals involved. With that reasoning, very unattractive people should also reconsider divorce since some would say they are lucky to have found one person.

Agreed.

That a person should stay in a marriage because their "catching" days are over is just idiotic. What happens if dude drops dead tomorrow? She should just curl up and die right along with him because some view her as past her prime?

 

[firecracker]

Is that your grandbaby in your avatar?

Yes Ma'am that's TeeTa's first grandbaby!

 

[firecracker]

My friend's parents got divorced in their sixties. The wife waited until her husband got sick and left him. She said that she when she was young and raising her children and needed him he was running all over town with different women. Now that she no longer needs him, he can get one of those women to come and take care of him. I kind of feel bad for her husband, but he brought it on himself.

I ain't mad at her. Did the kids kick him to the curb also?

 

[lizjoseph]

Thanks for the many replies ladies! Just to clarify, I by no means meant that once you hit 60 you are old,and yes, I do know that people date at all ages; but I'm thinking that if they were able to last so long in the first place, why end it now? And also, many people do end up remarrying and I think that (for me persoanlly) it would be a hassle to have to start from zero with someone brand new after I've given everything to a man that I've been married to for over 30 years. I would be the type to be the like, hey we made it this far, so lets try to salvage what we have, we made it this far for a reason...right? And if the marriage was not salvagable (like he was a serial cheater like Sanatana is said to be) and I HATED the man and only stayed for the children, then what's wrong with at the end, him having his room and me having my own? I can do me, and you can do you; but to bring in lawyers, having to pay them HUGE fees, have people all up in your business, figuring out who paid for what and who owns what, dragging yourself to court and the whole nine...it's too much. You do you and I'll do me. That would be fine by me. If I'm close to retiring, why would I bring another hassle on my back? I should be enjoying life, not staring at a judge and a whole bunch of lawyers in suits that my money probably paid for.

Does that make sense......?

 

[tocktick]

it's never too late to exit a marriage where you are unhappy; even if a couple have been together for 50 years. the idea of staying together once you get past a certain point is ultimately to save face and to please other people. now ask those same people if they would trade places with you in the miserable marriage you are enduring and i bet the likely response from them is "no". additionally, i do not people as pathetic or look down upon them because they may be older and may have trouble getting another mate. so they should be dissatisfied with their current husband but should not leave even if the situation is truly shyt because there may be a possibility they wont re-marry etc? that's quite a joke, imo. and clearly, such people probably need to feel validated by having a man/woman in their lives.

 

[lejardinier]

I doubt very much that any woman who has been married that long is thinking 'OOooooh, I can't wait to get out there and date again!' Maybe she will somewhere down the road. Who would want to stay with anyone a moment longer than they have to? And why would you think that you have to suffer another day with the idiot. Can you imagine the hell it must have been to stay with him? And the freedom she felt when she broke free?
In the church where I grew up there was a couple with four kids. They were the PILLARS of our church. I'm mean when you looked up faithful and true on our church board you saw their faces. Choir, deacons, deaconess, etc., etc.
The nicest people. And I loved the Mom, she was the sweetest. Well they had a son that I had a crush on. And the father wouldn't let his son ask me out because my mother was divorced and remarried. I mean he was strict and judgmental about certain things. Do you know that when all of the kids had graduated from grad/med school, gotten married and started to have kids on their own that she left him. At the age of 75!!!! It turns out that this man had tortured his family for almost 58 years! He was a monster. Verbal and emotional abuse. You name it. He kept them from speaking about it for all those years. And she was so happy. She died at the age of 88. But for the 13 years she told us that she was never happier. She traveled and lived in her own apt. Imagine if she had spent those last 13 years wondering about what life was really like. All of this is just to say - I just don't think it's about dating again all the time.

 

[Precious_1]

I ask this question because I heard on the radio that Santana (the Latin guitar player/singer) and his wife are getting a divorced. She filed the papers after about 30+ years of marriage. I say, what's the point of getting divorced now? Your good "man catching days" are over! So you're close to 60 and divorced....now what? I mean I know people can date at any age nowadays and it's not really frowned upon, but I'm like you spent nearly half your life with this man and NOW you want a divorce....and to have to start all over again with someone new? Come on now! I mean, yes, she will probably walk away with half of what he has...but come on now, might as well stick it through....especially at her age(not sure how old she is, but I'm guessing late 50's early 60's by the looks of Santana and the fact that they've been married over 30 years) What do you ladies think? How longbefore it's "too late" or "not worth it" to get divorced?

Oh ok, so just because you get older you are not worthy to find love or be loved? Or be happy for that matter, I didnt know that.

 

[Precious_1]

Now that's gangsta!!! Q

For real!! I aint mad at her

 

[lizjoseph]

Oh ok, so just because you get older you are not worthy to find love or be loved? Or be happy for that matter, I didnt know that.

I've thought it over...and I think that the stress level and all the hoopla of getting divorced after so many years is a headache. There is no age at which you should not be happy. Not at all...hey you only have one life to live, but why get a divorce. Hey, I'll be your house mate, but paperwork, a divorce, and lawyers at a time when I should be enjoying life cause the kids are finally out the house...too much drama! You sleep in your room,I'll sleep in mine and we'll spilt the mortgage payments!

 

[cocoberry10]

Sadly, marriages can unravel at any time, that's why you should always appreciate your spouse and not take him for granted!

 

[GinnyP]

It's never too late to be happy

I second that!

 

[kally]

I would say never. In my family law class my instructor who was a family law attorney knew of a couple who was in their 80's and waited until their kids died before they divorced.