Advice Please! How to turn down a guy u might want to see again

[mychai]

Soooo..........

I've been out on two dates with a guy. We were supposed to go out this week but I cancelled. Since we met he's been joking about going away for the weekend, now he's kind of pushing the issue.

I don't feel like I know him very well and I already turned down the invitation, but he called this morning and left a really long voicemail asking me again. He's also offered to make it just a day trip. The thing is we'd go in his car, to the midde of nowhere and even though I think he's a nice person, honestly, I just don't want to.

But, I don't want to hurt his feelings and I wouldn't mind seeing him again. So my question is, how should I handle it? I know I'm over-thinking it, but I've already turned him down a few times and cancelled a couple dates and I don't want to seem cold.

Also what would you do if you were in my situation?

 

[Lilmama1011]

I would just flat out ignore him to be honest, I have done it before. Because I'm very honest how the date going. I once told someone this is the last time I will be out with them and all he did was ask why and I'm like because I'm not feeling you. And that's when you get the blowing up the phone thing so I ignore the mess out of you and if they still calling I download an app to block them and the rest is history. Guys are way softer than they truly appear!

 

[Lilmama1011]

I found that out when I was single, they are soft

 

[frizzy]

Really the only thing you can do is reiterate to him that you are not interested in going away with him at this time.

You need to stand by your convictions and not feel bad about making the right decision for you. Let him know that being pushy and insistent is a major turn-off.

I would turn down a few dates just to see how he "handles" it, but maintain a phone relationship until I felt like seeing him again. HTH

 

[Lucie]

After 2 dates, how much did you expect to know about him hon? I think you just don't like him. I think you need to take less of his calls and just let him go. It seems you have him in the friend zone but he wants more. It will not turn out well if you go out with him after cancelling. Some men have pretty sensitive egos. Good luck.

ETA: I did not read your whole post properly. Let him go. He seems really pushy.

 

[mychai]

Thanks all! I'll just let him know that it's a no-go and start reducing contact. Glad I asked the question. If I had thought about it too much longer, I probably would have agreed to go and then been mad about it.

 

[hopeful]

I think that's a good idea. Him pushing to go away for the weekend is a red flag to me. After just two dates? He's moving way too fast and you shouldn't have to keep saying no. If you really like him, I would just say no day trips, no weekend trips, period, until I know you better, which could take months. Just regular dates for now, and if and when he starts it up again, dump him. I honestly think he is just too aggressive though and I would stay away from him.

 

[kismettt]

i would just tell him that i'm not comfortable? idk i'm pretty straight forward. kind of odd he is pressing for that so early and after you already said no.

 

[dannie]

I just wouldn't answer the phone anymore. Issue solved! It was only 2 dates you dont owe him anything. Men do it to women everyday and could really care less how you feel.

 

[NOEChic]

Why are y'all giving her advice on how to get rid of the guy, when she stated in the OP that she was interested in still dealing with him, just not going away for the weekend.

 

[carcajada]

Why are y'all giving her advice on how to get rid of the guy, when she stated in the OP that she was interested in still dealing with him, just not going away for the weekend.

Because despite the thread title, she doesn't seem that into him.

I've already turned him down a few times and cancelled a couple dates

She doesn't seem interested to be turning him down several times. Yet he keeps coming at her. 2 dates out of the several she has backed out of.

 

[Jmartjrmd]

How long have you know him. Have you only met him the 2 times you went out or were ya'll talking for a while before you went out.
If you want to see him again just be honest. Tell him you'd just rather not go and suggest something else.
This wouldn't make me just up and dump him though.

 

[aribell]

I would just tell him that it's too soon.

Him asking is a red flag, but if you're passive aggressive about it, he's not going to get it.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Guys are way softer than they truly appear!

This. All day. If a guy starts moving too fast I'll pull away even if I like him. You've only been on 2 dates so I agree it's too soon to go away for the weekend together and IMO it's a red flag that he 1) wanted to go away for a weekend after only 2 dates and 2) keeps pressing the issue when you've already told him no. Putting the brakes on things isn't a bad idea at all. But I'm curious, why did you cancel dates before?

 

[ms.mimi]

Men that don't take 'no' as answer scare me. The more you try to convince me the scarier it becomes..... for me