Advice for someone new on the HHJ! RELAXED HEADS COME ON IN!

[MsLizziA]

So i ultimately talked my cousin into trusting me with her hair even though she's relaxed and i am natural. She was complaining about her being dry, falling out, having flaky scalp.

I have learned a good bit from you ladies about caring for relaxed hair and the care that is needed is not that much different then natural hair.

From what i could tell this is what she was doing wrong

• Shampooing every week
• Blow drying and flat ironing every week (no heat protectant)
• Absolutely no DCing... NONE!

That is basically her regimen.
Well i told her to stop shampoon every week erplexed, STOP using heat every week erplexed, and DEEP CONDITION HER HAIR!

She went and bought VO5 moisture milk conditioner to cowash with, aussie moist as her leave in, no heat for a month, ORS moisturizing lotion as her moisturizer, and jojoba oil as her sealant.

She is gonna use the ORS deep conditioning packs as her DC. I told her if her hair doesn't look better in a month, because she is very skeptical, i am going to buy her some ice cream.

I would really appreciate it if the relax heads chime in case im missing something and to double check my advice. Thanks!

ETA: I also told her to bun her hair after she does for the entire month
and air dry

ETA: This is how her hair currently looks

 

[Toy]

You gave her some Great info and let her know to get a satin or silk scarf to protect her hair Thats all i can think of right now.

 

[Gigi-07]

Yeah, you gave her some good basics to start with. She's lucky to have you as a cousin!

 

[JJamiah]

I dunno I wash my hair weekly. I agree to limit the heat until her hair is stronger and DEFINITELY deep condition weekly. But I know from experience if my hair doesn't get washed weekly with my Hair One my hair starts all sorts of shedding and breaking. So I am on point.

 

[BlackGeisha]

Pre-Poo with oil before using shampoo, detangle only on wash day finger comb in between that time.

 

[MsLizziA]

oh and i told her make certain that she focuses on her ends when moisturizing

 

[lovelexi]

and i think that low manipulation is important.

 

[LittleLuxe]

So i ultimately talked my cousin into trusting me with her hair even though she's relaxed and i am natural. She was complaining about her being dry, falling out, having flaky scalp.

I have learned a good bit from you ladies about caring for relaxed hair and the care that is needed is not that much different then natural hair.

From what i could tell this is what she was doing wrong

• Shampooing every week
• Blow drying and flat ironing every week (no heat protectant)
• Absolutely no DCing... NONE!

That is basically her regimen.
Well i told her to stop shampoon every week erplexed, STOP using heat every week erplexed, and DEEP CONDITION HER HAIR!

She went and bought VO5 moisture milk conditioner to cowash with, aussie moist as her leave in, no heat for a month, ORS moisturizing lotion as her moisturizer, and jojoba oil as her sealant.

She is gonna use the ORS deep conditioning packs as her DC. I told her if her hair doesn't look better in a month, because she is very skeptical, i am going to buy her some ice cream.

I would really appreciate it if the relax heads chime in case im missing something and to double check my advice. Thanks!

ETA: I also told her to bun her hair after she does for the entire month hand air dry

Hmmm, well I am a newbie but my hair seems to be doing pretty great lately so I'll chime in.

I don't think there's anything wrong with shampooing weekly. My hair was at it's healthiest and most vibrant when I was so I've picked it back up again. I think the real tip is to ensure she finds a shampoo that doesn't contain any harsh drying sulfates.

I agree about the flat ironing, since her hair is breaking off it's best for her to lay off the high degrade of heat. Still buy her a heat protectant in the future and tell her everything in moderation.

I'd definitely start deep conditioning and mixing in some beneficial oils to ensure her hair gets the most moisture, I'd also introduce protein and porosity control since as a relaxed head her hair needs some of that. The triple wham-bam of deep conditioning, protein, and porosity should help with the dryness and breaking. As for her scalp I'd give it a week or so to see if a change in procedure helps and if not trying rubbing aloe vera or castor oil on her scalp as often as is needed.

Well...that's what I got. Hope that helps!

ETA: Why I thought degrade was the word needed baffles me

 

[MsLizziA]

thanks for the advice!

 

[*CherryPie*]

I shampoo twice a week, always have, and my hair is doing great. I don't think there's a set of rules that fit all relaxed haired ladies. Almost everyone is gonna have something slightly different that they do.

My hair loves heat. I use a heat protectant, but some people on here doesn't even use heat protectants and their hair looks fine.

Oprah's stylist (Andre) never uses heat protectants, and look at Oprah's hair.

Some ladies never DC. They say that they don't need to cause they cowash so much. If they DC'ed, they would get mushy hair.

 

[MsLizziA]

I shampoo twice a week, always have, and my hair is doing great. I don't think there's a set of rules that fit all relaxed haired ladies. Almost everyone is gonna have something slightly different that they do.

My hair loves heat. I use a heat protectant, but some people on here doesn't even use heat protectants and their hair looks fine.

Oprah's stylist (Andre) never uses heat protectants, and look at Oprah's hair.

Some ladies never DC. They say that they don't need to cause they cowash so much. If they DC'ed, they would get mushy hair.

Well she doesn't cowash at all. I just recommended that she starts doing it.

Since she gets flaky scalp, i know that's from it being dry so im trying to incorporate as much moisture as i can into her regimen

 

[bellebebe]

OMG! NO D.C? The relaxed hair cannot survive without it. All she really needs to do is retain moisture. Retaining moisture= retaining hair. Oh yeah, she needs some protein as well. That's basically what hair care is about.

 

[Mylin]

I also wash once a week and my hair is doing fine. I would suggest for her to learn if she doesn't know how to rollerset. Rollersetting stopped my hair from breaking.

 

[Bnster]

Some garlic tablets or conditioner treatment won't hurt either if she is shedding. Tell her HHJ from us!

 

[MsLizziA]

OMG! NO D.C? The relaxed hair cannot survive without it. All she really needs to do is retain moisture. Retaining moisture= retaining hair. Oh yeah, she needs some protein as well. That's basically what hair care is about.

Yea i felt the same way but then i remembered, i used to be in the same exact boat she is in. I spend so much time on this hair board i tend to forget that the outside world doesn't know half the stuff we know so i talk to everybody as if im talkn to you guys

 

[bimtheduck]

ORS lotion can be pretty heavy, (the 5th ingredient is petrolatum and the 6th is a cone), so she just might need to shampoo at the end of the week. Tell her to go my how her hair feels. Also relaxed hair needs protein. Next month after she gets the hang of it she might need to incorporate a more protein than what's in the ORS replenishing paks but those are grwta to start off with. You're soo nice to do that for her!

 

[MsLizziA]

Keep it coming because she is gonna be lurkin on this thread because she's not a member and i can't talk her into paying the 6.50 even though it sooooo worth it

 

[MsLizziA]

ORS lotion can be pretty heavy, (the 5th ingredient is petrolatum and the 6th is a cone), so she just might need to shampoo at the end of the week. Tell her to go my how her hair feels. Also relaxed hair needs protein. Next month after she gets the hang of it she might need to incorporate a more protein than what's in the ORS replenishing paks but those are grwta to start off with. You're soo nice to do that for her!

I was really trying to think of a good moisturizer for her but her scalp is flaky and dry so im really trying to keep her away from the shampoo. Right now its going to be in a bun and im really tryin to get her to focus on moisture and restoring her hair

ETA: I was trying to think of a moisturizer that she could pick up at the store yesterday because she went and picked everything up yesterday and ORS was what came to mind. Well what was available to her at that point anyway.

If you guys could recommened some cone free, petrolatum free, mineral oil free moisturizers that she could use , that would get great. I use Qhemet Alma and Olive heavy cream and i love that stuff.

 

[divachyk]

subscribing....just curious to see what the responses are. low manipulation has helped rid some of my unnecessary breakage.

off topic: tell me why i'm so slow at doing my hair now that i'm relying on fingers and hands only! i miss my comb but welcome hair retention far more.

 

[MsLizziA]

bumping......

 

[MsLizziA]

bumping for more responses

 

[MsLizziA]

bumping for more responses

 

[MsLizziA]

bumping for more tips

 

[MsLizziA]

bumpin.........

 

[Minty]

So i ultimately talked my cousin into trusting me with her hair even though she's relaxed and i am natural. She was complaining about her being dry, falling out, having flaky scalp.

I have learned a good bit from you ladies about caring for relaxed hair and the care that is needed is not that much different then natural hair.

From what i could tell this is what she was doing wrong

• Shampooing every week
• Blow drying and flat ironing every week (no heat protectant)
• Absolutely no DCing... NONE!

That is basically her regimen.
Well i told her to stop shampoon every week erplexed, STOP using heat every week erplexed, and DEEP CONDITION HER HAIR!

She went and bought VO5 moisture milk conditioner to cowash with, aussie moist as her leave in, no heat for a month, ORS moisturizing lotion as her moisturizer, and jojoba oil as her sealant.

She is gonna use the ORS deep conditioning packs as her DC. I told her if her hair doesn't look better in a month, because she is very skeptical, i am going to buy her some ice cream.

I would really appreciate it if the relax heads chime in case im missing something and to double check my advice. Thanks!

ETA: I also told her to bun her hair after she does for the entire month hand air dry

I don't see one of the MOST important things here: a deep conditioning product.

When I get badly damaged hair clients this is the program I put them on, I hope it helps you to help your cousin:

tell her to pick days out of the week, for example Tues and Fri.

On Tues:
Warm Olive oil (it could be ANY oil - the idea is to make it as easy for her as possible) and apply it to the scalp and hair, wrap with a plastic cap - leave on 15 mins.

Shampoo - the scalp, not the hair using Suave Almond (green bottle) or Dove Damage Remedy

Deep Condition - Silicon Mix for 30 with a plastic cap

Final Rinse - cool water.

Leave-In - Lacio Lacio (no more than a nickel size amount)

Air Dry to atleast 75% before blow drying.

If she must flat iron, temp. no higher than 350 -- 1 pass only.


-----------------------

Fri Schedule:

On dry hair, apply Silicon mix - leave on 30 mins w/plastic cap

Wash out with warm water - rub slightly to lather. -- cool water rinse

follow the remainder of the program after rinsing


-----------------------

****1x a month use any clarifying/chelating shampoo

****Every night use a pea size amount of oil or Lacio Lacio and apply to the ends of hair first, and work her hands up the length of the hair.

 

[MsLizziA]

I don't see one of the MOST important things here: a deep conditioning product.

When I get badly damaged hair clients this is the program I put them on, I hope it helps you to help your cousin:

tell her to pick days out of the week, for example Tues and Fri.

On Tues:
Warm Olive oil (it could be ANY oil - the idea is to make it as easy for her as possible) and apply it to the scalp and hair, wrap with a plastic cap - leave on 15 mins.

Shampoo - the scalp, not the hair using Suave Almond (green bottle) or Dove Damage Remedy

Deep Condition - Silicon Mix for 30 with a plastic cap

Final Rinse - cool water.

Leave-In - Lacio Lacio (no more than a nickel size amount)

Air Dry to atleast 75% before blow drying.

If she must flat iron, temp. no higher than 350 -- 1 pass only.


-----------------------

Fri Schedule:

On dry hair, apply Silicon mix - leave on 30 mins w/plastic cap

Wash out with warm water - rub slightly to lather. -- cool water rinse

follow the remainder of the program after rinsing


-----------------------

****1x a month use any clarifying/chelating shampoo

****Every night use a pea size amount of oil or Lacio Lacio and apply to the ends of hair first, and work her hands up the length of the hair.

No i told her a DC

She is gonna use the ORS replinishing conditioning packs as her DC.

 

[shasha8685]

Some great advice has been posted. I may have missed it but how often does your cousin relax her hair? You might want to encourage her to begin stretching her relaxers.

Also, recommend a good sulfate-free shampoo (Elasta QP Creme Conditioning is a good one and it is available in BSS). I wash my hair weekly with this shampoo and haven't had any issues. Your cousin should definitely follow up each wash with a good DC. ORS Replenishing is a good DC. Kenra also has a good moisturizing DC as well. I find that alternating between protein DCs and moisturizing DCs is the best for my hair.

Make sure your cousin's porosity is in check! She may be DCing but if her hair isn't holding on to moisture, it can make for a very frustrating experience. Roux Porosity Control is an excellent product for this!

Also, when your cousin does use heat, does she crank the appliances as high as they can go? If so, tell her to stop this at once!

Finally, since you are trying to get your cousin to cut down on the heat usage , I think you may have to stress to her that it is ok if your hair isn't straight all the time. There are ways to have cute hairstyles without her hair being bone straight all the time. Flexirod sets are a good start. Phony ponies are an excellent option as well. This may make it easier for her to wean herself off all of the heat.

HTH! Good luck!

 

[Latomian]

The things that worked for me:
1. DC Once a week (I use silicon mix)
2. Roller setting (I maybe use the Sedu once/10wks)
3. Low manipulation
4. Moisturizing & Sealing

I wash once a week but I use Giovanni, Burt's Bees and Avalon Organics shampoos. I also clarify 1x/month and use a light protein (Aphogee 2 min) every other week. The thing that made most of the difference was the low/no heat (roller setting).

 

[MsLizziA]

Some great advice has been posted. I may have missed it but how often does your cousin relax her hair? You might want to encourage her to begin stretching her relaxers.

Also, recommend a good sulfate-free shampoo (Elasta QP Creme Conditioning is a good one and it is available in BSS). I wash my hair weekly with this shampoo and haven't had any issues. Your cousin should definitely follow up each wash with a good DC. ORS Replenishing is a good DC. Kenra also has a good moisturizing DC as well. I find that alternating between protein DCs and moisturizing DCs is the best for my hair.

Make sure your cousin's porosity is in check! She may be DCing but if her hair isn't holding on to moisture, it can make for a very frustrating experience. Roux Porosity Control is an excellent product for this!

Also, when your cousin does use heat, does she crank the appliances as high as they can go? If so, tell her to stop this at once!

Finally, since you are trying to get your cousin to cut down on the heat usage , I think you may have to stress to her that it is ok if your hair isn't straight all the time. There are ways to have cute hairstyles without her hair being bone straight all the time. Flexirod sets are a good start. Phony ponies are an excellent option as well. This may make it easier for her to wean herself off all of the heat.

HTH! Good luck!

Yea i was going to introduce her to the sulfate free shampoo because she honestly as freaking out about the whole conditioner washing thing even though i explained the science of and everything. All the sulfate free shampoos that i know of have to be ordered so i let her get the conditioner until then.

We haven't even gotten to the porosity issue yet because im not sure if her hair has that problem yet because she just started the regimen yesterday.lol so I really won't find out until she starts complaining about it.

 

[brucebettye]

What has been working for my relaxed hair is by washing and dc at least once a week and bunning my own hair then putting a phony ponytail on. It works great because I am getting lazy with my hair and I want to cut it all off again.