ABC video 42% of black women......
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Almaz
New Member
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hahahaha hlololololo
You ain't no good
You ain't no good
Um, black people don't snorkel.
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Of course some do, but that right there was PDF (pretty darned funny):float: Um, black people don't snorkel.
Almaz
New Member
bluewater01
New Member
Women like her can't believe that a man like Obama would, *GASP*
treat his dark skinned wife like she is a precious jewel. Pure racism. There is the thinking that Black women are undeserving of love and devotion from her man. Not to mention a Black woman isn't suppose to expect to have a wealthy husband. We must lower our standards because after all we are low on the totem pole right?Steve Harvey took a bad interview and turned it into trash.
This video is pure and simple fodder for White Americans. We are a continuing source of amusement so that they can feel better about screwing this country up. White women are divorced by 40 with children to feed. White men are choosing Asian, Black and hispanic women to date and marry at breakneck speed but that is not being focused on. They even said it in the video that the fastest growing interracial marriages are Black women with White men. Is this video meant to be a deterient, to warn White men away from Black women?
The solutions they offered were not to benefit Black women but to the benefit of Black men. Black men who have failed to meet and surpass the standards these women have met. Why do Black women have to lower their standards when the men have not even tried to measure up? Why do I as a hardworking, smart, educated, open minded, well traveled women have to settle for someone who hasn't put in a 10th of the effort of bringing something to the table. Why?
You know something this video is very sad indeed and it's meant to be that way. Why out of all the races of women Black women still have turned romance into rocket science? It doesn't take a PHD to figure out if your dating pool has dryed up, it's time to start snorkeling in other ponds.
Very well put. ITA. To the bolded, I'm wondering when they are going to do a story on Nightline about all of the troubles the White community is having...
TCatt86
Well-Known Member
Oh Lord!!! Is that Foxy Brown's last name?!!!!!!!!!!!! But no, lol, I'm not related to Foxy Brown, at least not by blood, maybe marriage, my grandfather's sister married into the Marchand family so all of the Marchand's aren't my cousin's, lol. I'm not claiming her.
bluewater01
New Member
I was browsing around on this website yesterday called nomarriage.com and this white guy was bashing American white women and listing all of these reasons justifying why he recommends that men marry foreign women for happiness. It was kind of hilarious but at the same time, he was actually right in a lot of cases.
DDTexlaxed
TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
Yawn. More negative media to try to make black women look like they're desperate.
This is why I hate the media.
This is why black women need to expand their dating horizons.
This is why I hate the media. This is why black women need to expand their dating horizons.
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Some one made the comment that really resonated with me too. Why so angry? I understand disputing the information/topic/evidence, but some seem to really take it personally. Like a personal attack.
I am not personally offended by the information presented mainly b/c I know a disproportionately low number of AA women married that I grew up with (I'm talking never married, some with kids and some not, under 40) who are still single with few prospects. To be fair, t could be b/c I'm in Southern California. I can't tell you how many times I've been told if I wanted to marry, I should move to a town where the pace of life is slower. It's just too competitve and hustle and bustle in most large cities and the men know it. I suspect the ratios would be different in more rural or middle America regions.
Furthermore, I was personally never spoken to about getting married. My mom, though she was married to a doctor for over three years before I was born and she demanded a house before she'd consent to getting pregnant, NEVER told me that I will grow up and get married then have kids in that order. She was so bitter over the yt girlfriend my father had before he married her (she found it out later), she left him and drummed in my head to "get my education and NOT depend on "ANY MAN" for my happiness and care. Well, all that was fine and dandy for her day, many women did depend on their men for their support, but I think she feared that if I planned to marry, i would no longer pursue my education (beyond h.s or b.a I mean).
I read somewhere that men can be intimidated by smart, capable women b/c I've seen stories like the one discussed where yt women "couldn't find a man" b/c they were too accomplished and expected the same level of accomplishment from their men.
To end though, every man wants to feel like a man. I know we can take care of our selves, and get our own doors and bags, and change light bulbs and tires (if necessary), but sometimes we have to let the man be a man. Let him figure it out for you, and for the pete's sake sometimes, HUSH IT! The biggest complaint I've heard from men is women talk (lecutre, nagg, obessess...) too much. They have complained that the women, especially smart and capable ones, know everything and are constantly showing that they don't trust their men because they constantly "remind"them of what ever. The trick is to be the boss, w/o him realizing that he's being bossed. I think those are the main issues with women (regardless of race) who don't marry as early as they would like or think they should.
Bunny77
New Member
Bunny77
New Member
Well, I would like the ladies that are actually married and successful to give their input on this too. I'm trying to figure out why are there certain Black women out there that are able to get married and why some are not :scratchch. I want to know how some of you guys got your husband’s (keeping appearance, cooking skills, weight and attitude) and what roles you take in the marriage. The concerns that Angie ^^^ was talking about is what I hear from Black males too. What type of advice would yall married women give to a young black woman that is looking forward to getting married in the future?
I keep on hearing relationship advice from single black women that are in their mid 30 and above or single on what it takes to attract and keep a man. It's just not people here but I just want advice from a woman that is in a position where I want to be.
Don't mean to offend but I want to go straight to the source
I keep on hearing relationship advice from single black women that are in their mid 30 and above or single on what it takes to attract and keep a man. It's just not people here but I just want advice from a woman that is in a position where I want to be.
Don't mean to offend but I want to go straight to the source
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I agree, I noticed that my relationship with my bf changed significantly when I started watching and listening to the mature women who were married and had been married for a long time. Most of them said to basically pick my battles and let him make his mistakes instead of pointing out what he's doing wrong all the time, even when you know he's going in the wrong direction, just enjoy the ride and he'll eventually ask you. That seemed pretty smart to me and once I let go of the control reigns, he stepped it up.Well, I would like the ladies that are actually married and successful to give their input on this too. I'm trying to figure out why are there certain Black women out there that are able to get married and why some are not :scratchch. I want to know how some of you guys got your husband’s (keeping appearance, cooking skills, weight and attitude) and what roles you take in the marriage. The concerns that Angie ^^^ was talking about is what I hear from Black males too. What type of advice would yall married women give to a young black woman that is looking forward to getting married in the future?
I keep on hearing relationship advice from single black women that are in their mid 30 and above or single on what it takes to attract and keep a man. It's just not people here but I just want advice from a woman that is in a position where I want to be.
But you're right, I'd like to hear from women who have been married more than say 8 years (there may even be a thread about this somewhere here) too.
I did start a thread so, we'll see Sorry if it's been done before, but it didn't come up when I searched
Last edited:
ClassicBeauty
New Member
I went to college with the lawyer in the video. Maybe they should leave Atlanta!
Those are very sad statistics.
Those are very sad statistics.
TCatt86
Well-Known Member
Hmmmm so that confirms that she is my cousin b/c I think I remember you mentioning where you went to college. But yeah maybe they need to move where there are more eligible heterosexual black men. I would never move to Atlanta as a single woman. NEVER!!!
Wow, thank you for responding
. I thought I was the only one that felt that way 
I didn't know you started a thread already but I will try and search for it again. Repeated topics are nice because sometimes you forget about them .
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
I won't tell anyone what they should/shouldn't do, but I will talk about what worked for me (I'm married and in my early 30s, by the way):...I keep on hearing relationship advice from single black women that are in their mid 30 and above or single on what it takes to attract and keep a man. It's just not people here but I just want advice from a woman that is in a position where I want to be.
- Marrying someone's potential is fine when it comes to education and career (provided that they are actively working towards improving themselves), but if you want a grown man for a husband, make sure you walk down the aisle with one. Marrying someone and waiting for him to grow into the stable, selfless, hardworking person you really want to be with is a no go.
- Picking battles is great, but marrying a person with whom you'll never (or are unlikely to) fight certain battles is even better. Yeah, people can and do change, but men show women A LOT of who they are before they get married. It's on you to listen.
- Ask yourself what you're really looking for when it comes to your criteria. Someone can be intelligent without a degree and ignorant with one; Good people can have bad finances (not everyone has a poor credit rating because they got impulsive one too many times with one too many credit cards);People can work their fingers to the bone and have a small paycheck or surf the internet all day and have a big one. Having preferences or not wanting to struggle with certain obstacles is fine, but people are making a lot of invalid character judgments based on a handful of tangible characteristics.
- Get a life
and let him have his. No, I'm not saying that married people should behave like they are single, but maintaining a sense of self is very important. You should be a woman AND wife just like he should be a man AND a husband. Not only is maintaining a certain level of independence good for you, it will benefit your marriage as well.- Understand that different men want different things. Not every man requires a super freak, June Cleaver, or a woman who is June Cleaver in public and a super freak in private. Bringing your best to the table and getting to know a man for who he is (not who you want him to be or wish he were) is going to be much more valuable than the advice that a stranger (i.e. someone who doesn't know him) could give you.
- If you don't want to compromise a single thing, fine, just understand the reality that it might take you a little longer to find that "perfect" man (if you find him at all). If that's a problem for you, then you'll have to make some changes. Not giving yourself (or a perspective partner) any wiggle room, but expecting to find the man of your dreams immediately just isn't realistic.
Best of luck to you Princess Teearra!!!
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Well stated and thank you for answering the post. The bolded is key, I had to take off the rose colored glasses a long time ago, and that's when I realized that I could marry this man.I won't tell anyone what they should/shouldn't do, but I will talk about what worked for me (I'm married and in my early 30s, by the way):
- Marrying someone's potential is fine when it comes to education and career (provided that they are actively working towards improving themselves), but if you want a grown man for a husband, make sure you walk down the aisle with one. Marrying someone and waiting for him to grow into the stable, selfless, hardworking person you really want to be with is a no go.
- Picking battles is great, but marrying a person with whom you'll never (or are unlikely to) fight certain battles is even better. Yeah, people can and do change, but men show women A LOT of who they are before they get married. It's on you to listen.
- Ask yourself what you're really looking for when it comes to your criteria. Someone can be intelligent without a degree and ignorant with one; Good people can have bad finances (not everyone has a poor credit rating because they got impulsive one too many times with one too many credit cards);People can work their fingers to the bone and have a small paycheck or surf the internet all day and have a big one. Having preferences or not wanting to struggle with certain obstacles is fine, but people are making a lot of invalid character judgments based on a handful of tangible characteristics.
- Get a life
- Understand that different men want different things. Not every man requires a super freak, June Cleaver, or a woman who is June Cleaver in public and a super freak in private. Bringing your best to the table and getting to know a man for who he is (not who you want him to be or wish he were) is going to be much more valuable than the advice that a stranger (i.e. someone who doesn't know him) could give you.
- If you don't want to compromise a single thing, fine, just understand the reality that it might take you a little longer to find that "perfect" man (if you find him at all). If that's a problem for you, then you'll have to make some changes. Not giving yourself (or a perspective partner) any wiggle room, but expecting to find the man of your dreams immediately just isn't realistic.
Best of luck to you Princess Teearra!!!
I won't tell anyone what they should/shouldn't do, but I will talk about what worked for me (I'm married and in my early 30s, by the way):
- Marrying someone's potential is fine when it comes to education and career (provided that they are actively working towards improving themselves), but if you want a grown man for a husband, make sure you walk down the aisle with one. Marrying someone and waiting for him to grow into the stable, selfless, hardworking person you really want to be with is a no go.
- Picking battles is great, but marrying a person with whom you'll never (or are unlikely to) fight certain battles is even better. Yeah, people can and do change, but men show women A LOT of who they are before they get married. It's on you to listen.
- Ask yourself what you're really looking for when it comes to your criteria. Someone can be intelligent without a degree and ignorant with one; Good people can have bad finances (not everyone has a poor credit rating because they got impulsive one too many times with one too many credit cards);People can work their fingers to the bone and have a small paycheck or surf the internet all day and have a big one. Having preferences or not wanting to struggle with certain obstacles is fine, but people are making a lot of invalid character judgments based on a handful of tangible characteristics.
- Get a life
- Understand that different men want different things. Not every man requires a super freak, June Cleaver, or a woman who is June Cleaver in public and a super freak in private. Bringing your best to the table and getting to know a man for who he is (not who you want him to be or wish he were) is going to be much more valuable than the advice that a stranger (i.e. someone who doesn't know him) could give you.
- If you don't want to compromise a single thing, fine, just understand the reality that it might take you a little longer to find that "perfect" man (if you find him at all). If that's a problem for you, then you'll have to make some changes. Not giving yourself (or a perspective partner) any wiggle room, but expecting to find the man of your dreams immediately just isn't realistic.
Best of luck to you Princess Teearra!!!
Well thank you
I gladly appreciate the response and I hope it helps other women on here who doesn't like to post questions on here 
.
deltagyrl
Well-Known Member
This thread makes me sad but its true. I am surrounded by yt women at work and even though some look like they are 10-15 years older than they are, they believe that they are DIMES. I was "privy" to a convo yesterday where they all expressed interest in screwing black men but wouldn't dare bring them home to their families. I listened then casually told them to go for it as the curiousity is natural. I then let it slip that I'd dated yt in college and you could've bought them for 2 nickels...lol. They couldn't believe that yt guys were attracted to my black arse...lol
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
Good eyes, Mwedzi!
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
Women like her can't believe that a man like Obama would, *GASP*
treat his dark skinned wife like she is a precious jewel. Pure racism. There is the thinking that Black women are undeserving of love and devotion from her man. Not to mention a Black woman isn't suppose to expect to have a wealthy husband. We must lower our standards because after all we are low on the totem pole right?
This video is pure and simple fodder for White Americans. We are a continuing source of amusement so that they can feel better about screwing this country up. White women are divorced by 40 with children to feed. White men are choosing Asian, Black and hispanic women to date and marry at breakneck speed but that is not being focused on. They even said it in the video that the fastest growing interracial marriages are Black women with White men. Is this video meant to be a deterient, to warn White men away from Black women?
The solutions they offered were not to benefit Black women but to the benefit of Black men. Black men who have failed to meet and surpass the standards these women have met. Why do Black women have to lower their standards when the men have not even tried to measure up? Why do I as a hardworking, smart, educated, open minded, well traveled women have to settle for someone who hasn't put in a 10th of the effort of bringing something to the table. Why?
You know something this video is very sad indeed and it's meant to be that way. Why out of all the races of women Black women still have turned romance into rocket science? It doesn't take a PHD to figure out if your dating pool has dryed up, it's time to start snorkeling in other ponds.
Thanks for stating this. When Steve Harvey suggested that they pursue "older black men", I thought "what?" That's the answer? Or rather that's the only answer?
Many of the bolded points you brought up are very interesting as well.
I am definitely no relationship expert, but I have noticed that if I want to get married one day, I have to open my mind to "other ponds". It's just the reality of my situation, and to be honest, I don't mind it.
BlackHairDiva
Well-Known Member
I’m 32; I will be turning 33 in 2010.
There are some solutions to the issue. First, as mentioned in the clip marry and date interracially. Second date/marry interracially younger men( mis 20s- to late 20s NON BM) since they marry soon. But there is a second solution that no one ever brings up. You can still marry a black man…A foreign black man (Caribbean, African, South American, etc).
I was born and raised in an all white small town. Of course, I got teased, called ugly, even do I’m not. When I hit my teens I avoided white guys because…these where the same boys that called me the N word. It just made no sense to me to give myself to such a guy. The thought about experiencing my first kiss with one of these guys made me feel sad and discouraged. So I preferred to not date at all until I had access to black men/ African men. After high school, I went to university located in a larger town. There was a large amount of foreign students mostly Africans. Any black men there were from Africa period.
I discovered another ugly truth while in university. The minute my African male classmates noticed that I was doing well in class and that I was independent. They hated it. I became a rival/enemy of some sort. It was seen as not normal. The other black girls the ones that where Africans resorted to cleaning, cooking for the males in return the guys( including male teachers) would give them answers and points. Those of us who did not do these things paid by getting lower grades and if the corrector is a male well We would get the minimum to pass on a good day. Couldn’t report it, because the deans etc, only acted in the interest of white students and white teachers.
I was so hurt. At 18, I realized that if I did well I get stabbed in the back twice as hard by African males (who where the last ones I thought would stab me.), the same with northern African/arab. The WMs not even going to go there. Then asian male where non existent on campus. Black Canadian and black Americans; there was less of them than of us Canadian/American born /raised. All of them where with WWs. Latinos & native indians, none there. Sadly, me and other local( Canada or US) Bw experienced the same thing.
Like the women in the clip. I’m in a tight spot. If I marry someone from my ancestral country it will be difficult. Believe it or not there can some issues such as: culture clash, dealing with in laws, customs, being accused of not being African enough, etc. On top of dealing with the issues mentioned, there is jealousy issues that can come up. Jealousy issues can even appear simply because your are fine and happy at work ( a job that pays lower than his, etc).
So now I’m wondering on top of marrying /dating interracially. Does this mean we have to date younger because men( regardless of race) in their 30s are mostly married with child? Heck I don’t know what to think anymore.
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
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