ABC video 42% of black women......

okay. seriously. i'm so ill with this crap. 1 in 12 still won't have a husband? hmmmm did anyone do the stats on black women who are not hetero? those who don't want to marry?

not every woman (black or other) wants that MRS degree. and those who do don't limit their choices to only black men.

rolling my eyes for real :rolleyes:

 
I read the article that accompanies the video and had mixed emotions about it.

The overwhelmingly negative statistics seem a little skewed and definitely depressing. The gist that I took away from it was: If you're over 30 and want to marry, find a White male who is financially responsible and doesn't have a problem taking you home to mama. :look:

Or if White won't do, find a Black man who MAY earn a large percentage less than you and make it work. Cut down your list of 'must haves' and "compromise." And I hate to say that I've found it to be true but.... I have :ohwell:

The other option which was preferred was... don't settle, make money, go on your vacations and be single and live your life. That is what the main woman (prosecutor) was leaning towards. How unappetizing.
 
kurlybella said:
^^where is the article?
Click to expand...

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/single-black-females/story?id=9395275

Single, Black, Female -- and Plenty of Company
A High Proportion of Black Women Have Never Married; Four Friends Talk With Steve Harvey About Why
By LINSEY DAVIS and HANA KARAR
Dec. 22, 2009 —


Nicole Marchand is celebrating another birthday. A 31-year-old black woman, she's already a prosecuting attorney in Atlanta and running for state court judge.

Personable yet direct, Marchand isn't the kind of woman you find standing by passively on the sidelines of life. But you would find her, for example, at the Georgia Dome, cheering on the Atlanta Falcons pro football team.

You've heard of a man's man. Marchand is the quintessential man's woman: She appears to have it all. And, yet, she's still single.

She has plenty of company. Forty-two percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who've never tied the knot.

"I look forward to the day," Marchand said. "I look forward to being married."

It's just not that easy. For starters, there are 1.8 million more black women than black men. So even if every black man in America married a black woman today, one out of 12 black women still wouldn't make it down the aisle if they hoped to marry a black man.

Let's take 100 black men. By the time you eliminate those without a high school diploma (21 percent), the unemployed (17 percent) and those ages 25-34 who are incarcerated (8 percent), you have only half of black men, 54 percent, whom many black women find acceptable.

As a prosecutor, Marchand sees this problem firsthand every day.

"It is sad to see that the majority of the defendants that we prosecute are black males," Marchand said. "Those numbers can be very disappointing."

"Nightline" broached the serious dilemma with comedian-turned-relationship-guru Steve Harvey, author of the book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man."


Is Your Requirements Sheet Ridiculous?
"Admittedly, the selection of men is slim," Harvey said, but "there are still a lot of good men out there who are being overlooked. ... There are a lot of women, though, who are trying to match up their education level, who are trying to match up their corporate status to find somebody on the same level, and they are having trouble. That has nothing to do with manhood at all."

Harvey says black women don't have to settle but they may need to compromise.

"You are a corporate exec, does he have to be a corporate exec?" Harvey asked. "You make $150,000. He has to make $150,000 or above? If your requirement sheet is ridiculous, then you have to look at it."

What "Nightline" looked at were the large numbers of professional black women who have groomed themselves for success with B.A.s, M.D.s and J.D.s. Seventy percent of them are still without the more elusive title: M-R-S.

The tick-tock of the biological clock is a bit louder for many women, including several of Marchand's single friends who live in Atlanta.

Chato Waters is a 32-year-old high school counselor pursuing a doctorate degree in psychology. "I would be lying if I said I don't have fleeting thoughts of, 'OK, I am 32, my clock is ticking," Waters said. "We have a saying called the 'black girl curse.' A lot of our white friends are married by 25, happily married with kids by 27, and we're like, 'What's the deal with the BGs?' -- and that's black girls."

Jakene Ashford is a chemist for a pharmaceutical company. Now that she's 34, Ashford (who is 5-foot-9) has lowered the bar when it comes to height requirements.

"I don't have a certain criteria, like if you are not 6-foot-5. ... And I used to, but then as I got older I said, 'Maybe if you are 6-foot-3, 6-foot-2, 6-foot-1, maybe if we can see eye-to-eye."

At issue is whether Ashford needs to set aside certain standards in order to make it down the aisle.

"I kind of have certain standards that I hold myself to, and I don't think I should have to settle on those for the sake of having somebody," she said.


'I Was Thinking, "What Happened?"'
Her parameters are pretty flexible. "I've dated unemployed men, men trying to find themselves, struggling artists and rich men, poor men," Ashford said.

She's also open to dating outside of her race. Indeed, the number of black women entering interracial marriages has more than doubled in the past decade.

"Last night, I was at a restaurant and had a great conversation with a Caucasian man," she said. "I mean we were vibing, we were clicking and I am thinking at the end of the night he's going to ask me for my number, because white men never ask for my number, and he said. 'Great conversation, maybe I will see you around.' And I was thinking, 'What happened?'"

Melinda Watson is a 28-year-old payroll specialist who hasn't had an exclusive relationship since college.

"We are maybe not as coveted as black men in society," she said. "I just feel there is a lot of taboo that is associated with dating black women, because I don't think they are necessarily ready to take us home to see momma."

The consensus in this group was that their preference is to marry a black man. And it's not that they can't find one to date. The issue, in many cases, is exclusivity.

"You meet these great guys, you have a good relationship, and then it is like, 'I'm going to keep you around, and hopefully when I am ready to settle down, you'll be there,'" Ashford said.

Waters said, "That is the back-pocket girl. Every once in a while, they will check in on you to make sure you are still single: 'You still single, you still waiting on me?'"

Waters hasn't been in a committed relationship in more a decade. "I have my emotional moments where I cry, where I sit and I think, 'Could I have done something differently?'" she said.

"I get lonely, but in that same vein the hurt I felt, and no peace, being in a situation I knew wasn't right for me. I am more at peace with just crying myself to sleep sometimes, or going everywhere with Jakene [Ashford], rather than just having that little piece of a man."

Marchand speculated on underlying causes.

"It may be the numbers," she said, "It may be the options, it may be them realizing the disparity is there and saying, 'Well, let me just test the waters and see what the options are.'"

Waters said, "If you have four quality women in rotation, who is going to rush into a marriage?"


'You Have a Biological Clock. We Don't.'
Harvey, the self-proclaimed expert on men, listen in as the single ladies talked about their requirements.

"I had a list of about 50 things that I would keep in my Bible," Waters said. "It is now down to about 10."

"Honesty," Ashford said.

"Supportive," Watson said.

"Financially stable," Waters said.

"Now granted, I am 31, so he needs to be at a certain stage," Marchand said.

"We need to be able to pray together," Waters said.

As for the deal breakers, Watson said, "Just because of my past -- men with kids or just not being ambitious."

Ashford said, "If I don't have that initial chemistry, it's not going to work, I don't care if you have everything on the list."

Marchand said, "I am not going to talk to you if I'm not attracted to you."

Harvey's first reaction was not, technically, advice.

"Y'all fine as hell, who don't want to go out with y'all?" he said.

"Men my age have made a mistake in that we didn't teach the generation behind us the principles of manhood."

His advice was to go for the older man.

"You have a biological clock," he said. "We don't."

While these women look forward to settling down, they say they're not willing to settle.

"The one thing that I can't control is a man choosing to marry me," Ashford said, "and, so, I choose not to worry about it."

Waters said, "I am lonely, but having the faith I have and being the woman I am and waiting as long as I have, I can't settle now. It's not an option for me."

She's not alone. "I would love to be in a relationship, in a marriage, but I don't feel that defines me," Marchand said.

"So if I don't find the perfect person for me, then I'll just remain single."


Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures
 
^^^I wish they would stop worrying about what we are doing or not doing and tend to their own issues...I will stop right there i don't want to get banned...:nono:
 
Just my opinion.. but why is everyone so focused on black women lately.. we must be intimidating somebody..

It's like the other races who act/or say.. well black women might have the booty/body.. but I am prettier/more desirable..
^^ Yeah in your mind.

They are just jealous of us.. b/c unlike some races of women, black women are largely independent, go-getters, and still capable of being beautiful..

We don't need a man to define us, and we don't need a man to provide for us..
When that time comes for someone to become the husband, then that's fine.. but until then.. BLACK WOMEN WILL BE FINE.
 
Um, we're not capable of being beautiful....we ARE beautiful. Just wanted to clarify.

There's been a lot of focus on "us" since Obama got elected. I don't remember seeing all this crap before his election. The media is so quick to report what's wrong with the black community.
 
phynestone said:
Um, we're not capable of being beautiful....we ARE beautiful. Just wanted to clarify.

There's been a lot of focus on "us" since Obama got elected. I don't remember seeing all this crap before his election. The media is so quick to report what's wrong with the black community.
Click to expand...

I remember reading about it in Freakonomics, and seeing it every gall-dang month in Essence magazine. Essence: "Black women still can't find men! Why black men cheat! Why black women won't marry cheating black men! Where have all the black men gone?"

On and on and on.
 
I meant by mainstream media. Of course Essence will continue to recycle that mess, just like the rest of their stuff.
 
As long as Obama is in office; the yt ppl will always be interested in blacks. Sometimes I feel like a new species of animal. So I do the same to them.....
 
And they picked ATL of all places, where there is an overwhelming majority of BW vs BM.
I think it article/video is a load of horse droppings, they do not have a man because they are too picky and because they limit themselves...pure and simple.
 
Funny, I was just talking about this with my 19 yaer old son. He dates interracially sometimes and while I don't have any problem with this, as we were looking at the basetball games yesterday, I started wondering what the precentage of wealthy or famous AA men have married across racial lines. My son had nothing to offer, but listened intently as I told him that it all breaks down to how couples interact culturally. Are they coming from or going to the same place in spirit, education, family expectations, and of course financial goals.

When we read over and over again that money is the main reason couples fight and divorce, we have to look at how we AA are fairing in enconomics. It seems that women are very often given a chance (perhaps b/c the yt boss is trying to "get in their undies" I'm not aying that it actually happens that way at all, but we know that attractive people get more/better opportunities than "unattractive" people), whereas AA men have a tougher row to hoe when trying to break into upwardly mobile careers. I assume it's because the world is still threatened by AA men and less so by AA women.
 
It is natural to look at other people problems then yourself: the bible talks about pulling the log out of your own eye first to see clear blah blah blah.....
We/people love to talk about the ghetto girl who cannot talk right/style her hair right/....
or the fat girl who wears the unflattering clothing.....
It is natural and everyone does it....but we hate it when it applies to us.

Black Women are being talked about b/c Ms. Obama does not fit the stereotype of who Mr. Obama would marry. If she was a stereotype then the media would not have this obsession.
 
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Re: marrying an old head. I'm of the opinion that an unmarried man over 40 just ain't sh!t no way, and that's why he is single.
Also, both sexes have biological clocks. If you try to conceive with an old head it usually manifests in miscarriages (which make it look like the wife is the one w/ the fertility issues when, in fact, her problem is that she's trying to conceive w/ an old head).
 
Why are some of you so mad about people discussing this topic? What's really going on here? You get mad when people want to talk about our hair, you get mad about people wanting to know why a lot of black women aren't getting married? What's wrong with talking about it??? Someone please help to understand why these two subjects make people angry? I mean we stay discussing white folks business. :look:
 
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Adel10 said:
It is natural too look at other people problems then yourself: the bible talks about pulling the log out of your own eye first to see clear blah blah blah.....
We/people love to talk about the ghetto girl who cannot talk right/style her hair right/....
or the fat girl who wears the unflattering clothing.....
It is natural and everyone does it....but we hate it when it applies to us.

Black Women is being talked about b/c Ms. Obama does not fit the stereotype of who Mr. Obama would marry. If she was a stereotype then the media would not have this obsession.
Click to expand...

Why does Michelle not fit the stereotype? They are both highly educated, attractive people with similar beliefs. That's who I would expect him to marry?
 
Ivy_Butter said:
Why does Michelle not fit the stereotype? They are both highly educated, attractive people with similar beliefs. That's who I would expect him to marry?
Click to expand...

For the reasons you posted. When a AA man succeeds here in america, it's often the chance for a yt trailer girl to make the come up. I have seen many times a yt woman marry an AA doctor or whatever, when if this same girl were standing on a yt doctor's lawn, they'd turn the sprinklers on.
There was a thread about this a few days ago about racist ppl in interracial relationships. Often, the reason is simply that a woman will take her best socio-economic option, even if she is racist. These same women know they can't get within a 5 mile radius of a prominent (or even comparable) man of their own race.
I've also heard yt women say that they would like Pres Obama more if he had a yt wife.
 
Optimus_Prime said:
For the reasons you posted. When a AA man succeeds here in america, it's often the chance for a yt trailer girl to make the come up. I have seen many times a yt woman marry an AA doctor or whatever, when if this same girl were standing on a yt doctor's lawn, they'd turn the sprinklers on.
There was a thread about this a few days ago about racist ppl in interracial relationships. Often, the reason is simply that a woman will take her best socio-economic option, even if she is racist. These same women know they can't get within a 5 mile radius of a prominent (or even comparable) man of their own race.
I've also heard yt women say that they would like Pres Obama more if he had a yt wife.
Click to expand...

You cannot be serious...:nono::nono::nono::nono:
 
I wonder about how strict to facts and accurately this was written. For example:

Let's take 100 black men. By the time you eliminate those without a high school diploma (21 percent), the unemployed (17 percent) and those ages 25-34 who are incarcerated (8 percent), you have only half of black men, 54 percent, whom many black women find acceptable.
Click to expand...

I mean, are these really separate groups, statistically? I have a hard time believing that the no h.s. diploma having group is an entirely non-overlapping group from the unemployed group and from the incarcerated group. That is, I don't think 46% of black men fit one of these 3 characteristics. Anybody else?
 
mwedzi said:
I wonder about how strict to facts and accurately this was written. For example:



I mean, are these really separate groups, statistically? I have a hard time believing that the no h.s. diploma having group is an entirely non-overlapping group from the unemployed group and from the incarcerated group. That is, I don't think 46% of black men fit one of these 3 characteristics. Anybody else?
Click to expand...

I think the stats are a sham.

I also think that these stats are not inclusive of black immigrants from the Caribbean, Africa, Europe, etc who reside in the United States. And there are countless of black, educated, single, marriage-oriented black male immigrants in this country.

*SMDH*
 
Oh yeah I have heard this many times from White women. One Patient at the hospital before the election was like. I think that IIIII would have made a better wife to Obama. The attending doctor who was there starting doing his hands like a scale and said

Ummm Michelle Princeton Law school grad
You school bus Driver
Hummm Big job with City of Chicago and ran a division and the University of Chicago Hospital
You school bus Driver
Michelle very poised in shape and well dressed
You school bus driver

Heck I would marry Michelle Obama. Hahahah Laugh laugh laugh chuckle chuckle

She chuckling too her response was well he was raised with white people and his mother was white he should have married a white woman His chances of winning would have been greater if he married a white woman. Michelle is holding him back I mean I know she is educated and all. But I don't think the world is ready for a BLACK first lady of the United States.

They day they won I was like Wow a first black lady wonderful. Chuckle chuckle

She was very angry by the look on her face. A fat fluffy sickly uneducated looking like a scene from Deliverance trasy looking white woman who is the same age as Michelle but looked like she was in her 60's talkin bout I can be a better wife to him. She meant that too. :nono:






AfriPrincess411 said:
You cannot be serious...:nono::nono::nono::nono:
Click to expand...
 
Almaz said:
Oh yeah I have heard this many times from White women. One Patient at the hospital before the election was like. I think that IIIII would have made a better wife to Obama. The attending doctor who was there starting doing his hands like a scale and said

Ummm Michelle Princeton Law school grad
You school bus Driver
Hummm Big job with City of Chicago and ran a division and the University of Chicago Hospital
You school bus Driver
Michelle very poised in shape and well dressed
You school bus driver

Heck I would marry Michelle Obama. Hahahah Laugh laugh laugh chuckle chuckle

She chuckling too her response was well he was raised with white people and his mother was white he should have married a white woman His chances of winning would have been greater if he married a white woman. Michelle is holding him back I mean I know she is educated and all. But I don't think the world is ready for a BLACK first lady of the United States.

They day they won I was like Wow a first black lady wonderful. Chuckle chuckle

She was very angry by the look on her face. A fat fluffy sickly uneducated looking like a scene from Deliverance trasy looking white woman who is the same age as Michelle but looked like she was in her 60's talkin bout I can be a better wife to him. She meant that too. :nono:
Click to expand...

Women like her can't believe that a man like Obama would, *GASP*
treat his dark skinned wife like she is a precious jewel. Pure racism. There is the thinking that Black women are undeserving of love and devotion from her man. Not to mention a Black woman isn't suppose to expect to have a wealthy husband. We must lower our standards because after all we are low on the totem pole right? :rolleyes: Steve Harvey took a bad interview and turned it into trash.

This video is pure and simple fodder for White Americans. We are a continuing source of amusement so that they can feel better about screwing this country up. White women are divorced by 40 with children to feed. White men are choosing Asian, Black and hispanic women to date and marry at breakneck speed but that is not being focused on. They even said it in the video that the fastest growing interracial marriages are Black women with White men. Is this video meant to be a deterient, to warn White men away from Black women?

The solutions they offered were not to benefit Black women but to the benefit of Black men. Black men who have failed to meet and surpass the standards these women have met. Why do Black women have to lower their standards when the men have not even tried to measure up? Why do I as a hardworking, smart, educated, open minded, well traveled women have to settle for someone who hasn't put in a 10th of the effort of bringing something to the table. Why?

You know something this video is very sad indeed and it's meant to be that way. Why out of all the races of women Black women still have turned romance into rocket science? It doesn't take a PHD to figure out if your dating pool has dryed up, it's time to start snorkeling in other ponds.
 
CurlyMoo said:
You know something this video is very sad indeed and it's meant to be that way. Why out of all the races of women Black women still have turned romance into rocket science? It doesn't take a PHD to figure out if your dating pool has dryed up, it's time to start snorkeling in other ponds.
Click to expand...

:float: Um, black people don't snorkel. :hide:
 
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