Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Black Ambrosia said:
I can't co-sign on this one. She was wrong for snooping but it seems justified since he was really doing wrong. Where she went wrong was continuing the surveillance when she found out what was going on. She should have called him out immediately. Her snooping doesn't put her on the same level as his cheating though.



I'm confused. How does she not know he cheated if she read the emails and saw that the experience was ethereal and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and whatever other words he used to describe their time together?
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I meant care.
 
Black Ambrosia said:
I've heard of this before. I think its more common than we realize. The couple discusses it and decides to get their stuff together before announcing it publicly. This is the time where he saves for the ring, gets the bill collectors off his/her back, formalizes child custody or child support issues before the crazy baby momma knows that the door is closed forever, etc. I guess it could include marriage counseling as well but most will do this after the engagement is announced.

As long as its only a secret for a short period of time then I don't see anything wrong with it. I can see a man's ego not being able to handle her not having a ring or having a puny ring so I may give a pass on something like that for a short period of time. The same applies to one person having debt if there is a realistic plan to get it paid off. Most issues can be resolved without keeping the engagement under wraps though. To each his own. :look:
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It's not the secretly engaged part that has me perplexed. I know some people who were. It's what went down while they were engaged. I can't believe she's still going to marry him.
 
HoneyA said:
It's not the secretly engaged part that has me perplexed. I know some people who were. It's what went down while they were engaged. I can't believe she's still going to marry him.
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I get the impression that she feels that she's "won." :ohwell:

Maybe she did.
 
nevermind...

Our relationships really are reflections of where we are internally. I hope this lady moves to a higher plane before she marries this guy.
 
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nicola.kirwan said:
nevermind...

Our relationships really are reflections of where we are internally. I hope this lady moves to a higher plane before she marries this guy.
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Yeah.

Not sure that she'll reach a higher plane in a few short months but :look:.

She was snooping to "make sure" that he didn't relapse.

He relapsed.

At this point it's like watching a train wreck. She's gonna proceed because her (male) pastor told her to pray and remain faithful.
 
deltagyrl said:
Yeah.

Not sure that she'll reach a higher plane in a few short months but :look:.

She was snooping to "make sure" that he didn't relapse.

He relapsed.

At this point it's like watching a train wreck. She's gonna proceed because her (male) pastor told her to pray and remain faithful.
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Wow, she's stupid. What more is it going to take for her to see that he is disrespecting her? It's right in her face and she's still gonna proceed? Like someone else said, she deserves whatever is coming to her. :ohwell:
 
deltagyrl said:
Yeah.

Not sure that she'll reach a higher plane in a few short months but :look:.

She was snooping to "make sure" that he didn't relapse.

He relapsed.

At this point it's like watching a train wreck. She's gonna proceed because her (male) pastor told her to pray and remain faithful.
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I have a serious problem with that statement. I'll refrain from saying more.
 
*sings Jojo* LEAVE GET OUT IT'S THE END OF YOU AND ME IT'S TOO LATE AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO BE GONE *hmhmhmdodohmhmdodo*
 
deltagyrl said:
Yeah.

Not sure that she'll reach a higher plane in a few short months but :look:.

She was snooping to "make sure" that he didn't relapse.

He relapsed.

At this point it's like watching a train wreck. She's gonna proceed because her (male) pastor told her to pray and remain faithful.
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And this right here is why I will continue to worship God in my own way, from my own home. :look:
 
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deltagyrl said:
Yeah.

Not sure that she'll reach a higher plane in a few short months but :look:.

She was snooping to "make sure" that he didn't relapse.

He relapsed.

At this point it's like watching a train wreck. She's gonna proceed because her (male) pastor told her to pray and remain faithful.
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She really wants this man and will not let anything get in the way.
 
Welp.

I finally spoke to her and asked why she was going through with it when it was obvious that they had "issues."

Her response was that he's a good man and she's not going to let the devil take what's hers. The "ex" was sent by the devil to tempt her man and though he fell, they are still standing.

:look:

The pastor is her brother. He's also marrying them.
 
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deltagyrl said:
Welp.

I finally spoke to her and asked why she was going through with it when it was obvious that they had "issues."

Her response was that he's a good man and she's not going to let the devil take what's hers. The "ex" was sent by the devil to tempt her man and though he fell, they are still standing.

:look:

The pastor is her brother. He's also marrying them.
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Wow, I just read this whole thread within minutes..it is like a lifetime movie.:look:

Seriously though, I know women like her..if she lets him go she'll feel she lost and if she gets him, she'll feel like she won. She will do anything to keep him, nearly anything. :nono:
 
deltagyrl said:
Welp.

I finally spoke to her and asked why she was going through with it when it was obvious that they had "issues."

Her response was that he's a good man and she's not going to let the devil take what's hers. The "ex" was sent by the devil to tempt her man and though he fell, they are still standing.

:look:

The pastor is her brother. He's also marrying them.
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umm no ma'am! her man is the devil.. hes reaching out to his 'ex' and if hes such a good man.. why would she feel the need to check back in on him to make sure he wasnt doing dirt???

if she trusted him.. she wouldnt feel the need to 'snoop'.. look and u will find it.. shes found it AGAIN... NOW WHAT???
 
She seems like a lost cause to me :nono:....no talking sense to her at all. What else can you do? All the bad signs are being presented to her. Nothing humanly possible can be done for her....only divine intervention. But then again, hearing about what her pastor brother is telling her....it is probably all over. Hate to be the pessimist but......
 
deltagyrl said:
Welp.

I finally spoke to her and asked why she was going through with it when it was obvious that they had "issues."

Her response was that he's a good man and she's not going to let the devil take what's hers. The "ex" was sent by the devil to tempt her man and though he fell, they are still standing.

:look:

The pastor is her brother. He's also marrying them.
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The only devilish behavior going on is in her own house. If their situation was strong, no amount of tempting would cause it to falter....

Some people don't understand that relationship drama is a choice..
 
hell naw !she should keep walking and look for a more deserving man ,dont care how he was 4 months ,heck 4 years ago ! it doesnt matter now ,he messed up and there s no way back .
 
^^I don't think that will happen.
They will go on and do the married thing. This "incident" will resurface time and time again during the course of their marriage and he will spend the rest of their marriage trying to make up for it.

She will try to convince herself that she "won" and,

He will, in his quiet time, still think about the ex.

And they will grow old together.

Or something like that.
 
deltagyrl said:
Real Scenario-
You've been seeing this guy (long distance) for about a year and things are coasting along nicely.
About 4 months ago he starts to act...different.
You find out that his college sweetheart, the one he's carried a torch for forever, has resurfaced and they've been talking and hanging out. "Talking" means 4-5 hours almost every night. "Hanging out" means he cancelled a trip to come see you to travel 4 hours to see HER. You're pretty sure they touched & agreed from texts that described their meeting as ethereal & beautiful & inevitable & amazing & spectacular (his words).
You've never had sex with this guy (although you've tried) because he was abstaining before you met.

Now he feels guilty and is coming to see you.

What say you?


My advice was to bounce because, er, um, yeah. :perplexed
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:grin::grin: you're right she needs to let that one go.
 
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