A little help with Caucasians please....

Foufie

Foufie

New Member
The problem is I wear my hair in a kazillion different styles and one day it may be short and one day I have braids down to my hiney or a weave or whatever. They are quite bold but I don't mind answering questions about it was done and what not. However I do have a problem when they just beak out all loud and what not with "Now is this your real hair?" I mean WTF. What difference does it make number one and number two did you have to ask loud enough for everyone to around and wait for an answer. How effin rude! I mean obviously it is not seeing as how I grew 14" of hair over night. Today I have my hair in a twist out, so its short. Been wearing it this way for a week or so and this woman asks me about it from half way up the corridor. I kindly whispered back "Yes this is my real hair". She answers "Oh okay, cause I know when you have the braids its not".

Ya'll I am so tired of these types of conversations, how do I counter them? I just don't want the whole world to be all up in my scalp.
 
Coworker: Is that your real hair?
You: (With your new 16 inch weave) Yes.

The end
 
Your title made me lol. :lachen:

If it bothers you and it's the same people, speak up on it. I would straight up tell a co worker that she is annoying me with all the repeated questions about my hair. Sorry, but you aint gonna drive me crazy day after day.

What I usually do is just keep it moving if it's a stranger. I don't really care what someone that I don't know thinks of my hair.

Also, you're probably going to run into ignorant people from all races. Such is life. A lot of people are rude/idiots/ignorant. :yep:


 
"Oh okay, cause I know when you have the braids its not".

I'm sorry is there a test at the end of the day about your hair or something? Whoa.

You may have to get a little rude with folks when they won't leave you alone about your hair. I don't care what color they are.
 
I know ya'll. I was trying not to cuss a mutha@$#% out. But they testing me. I was just trying to see how others handled it. *sigh*
 
yaya24 said:
Coworker: Is that your real hair?
You: (With your new 16 inch weave) Yes.

The end
Click to expand...

Yes!! haha. This is funny. It actually might work. Or you could say, "is that YOUR real hair?This IS my hair. If this is on my head its mine. Please don't let my personal business concern you, I try not to get too involved in your personal affairs either." And smile or something.
 
"I just love variety! What can I say? I'm a black woman and everyone knows black women love to play with their hair. You can probably figure out when I'm wearing my own hair all on your own, right? I mean, common sense, right?"
 
Or you could try something passive aggressive like, "Well GOSH, you sure are curious about black women's hair aren't you!" or, "Gosh, you sure are obsessed with my hair aren't yoU!" And have them respond to that.
 
Now, this is an interesting issue for me because I have recently (past few months) started wearing wigs and I am considering trying a weave.

Not just European-ancestry people ask me about my hair. I work with several South Asians and East Asians, as well as a Black American woman who, as far as I can tell, has had the same simple, permed style and length (shoulder) for several years. I don't know how familiar the latter is with the diversity of fake hair options (wigs, half wigs, weaves, phony buns/ponies, clip in extensions) out there.

My hair is a always a topic of discussion. "Oh, did you cut your hair?" (me: no, I just wore it curly, so it looks shorter); "Oh, how'd you get your hair to wave like that?" (it was a wig, BTW, but I didn't tell them).

I find myself not very happy with the constant commentary. I wish I could just express my hair creativity without having to always explain it. I'm not angry about it, but I will admit that the desire to avoid constant scrutiny and group discussions about my latest hair style or wig is becoming somewhat of a deterrant/hamper.
 
FluffyRed said:
They are asking loud to be rude on purpose.

They don't loud talk everybody on their personal grooming choices
Click to expand...

I completely agree. Even I, socially clueless as I am, know that is a rude thing to ask, especially all loud like that.

I like Kiynwah's idea. Someone else in another thread thought "why do you ask?" was a way to turn it around on them.
 
Hahaha... I had something similar happen between me and a classmate (Jewish-white girl) at the beginning of the semester.

I wore my hair in extension twists that's about about BSL; the extensions where #30 brown and totally different form the jet black braids I had the previous semester:

Anyhoo...

Classmate: you look very different. Is it because of your hair?
Me: I don't know you tell me.
Classmate: (wispers) is not your real hair right? (At this point I'm thinking to my self like WTF!)
Me: yes it is.
Classmate: WOW!!!! It's very long
Me: No it's not. It's just normal average length.


Must I add that this happened during the whole Chris Rocks "Good hair" phase.
 
My manager used to do this every time I come to work with a new hairstyle! She'd be like Hey I like your your hair!! ....that..is..your..hair..isnt it??
Every da@$ time!
 
I change my hair often now due to transitioning. I have been in lots of different wigs, half wigs and braided styles. My White coworkers have finally stopped asking me if it's my real hair after over a year of questions.

I recall that one coworker, on a work trip to Atlanta, was shouting across the room about my hair and how nice it looked. She kept talking about the hair cut, when did I get it, where, how much it cost, etc. She does not even live in the same state as me so she was asking to be a pest.

She was loud and she has a Fran Drescher nasal voice. Finally, after she got close enough for me to whisper, I told her "It's a wig." She shut up after that.

If the topic comes up these days, which is rare, I start to ask them about their hair color. I never even paid attention that most White women do not wear their natural hair color but now that I am watching, 95% of my coworkers color their hair.
 
My thing is this: They don't do this to each other. I know they definitely wear extensions a lot, granted, probably not as often as black people, but it is common place among yt people. So, what gives them the right to do this when it's a black person? Why is it ok to them to ask such a question, even though it would be considered a rude thing to do if the OP had been white.

Any psych majors in here? I'm interested in what process a person would go through in deciding to ask a question like this, even though they know it's rude ... added with the fact that they'd probably never do it, in this manner, to someone of their own race, but are ok with doing it to another. I'm not saying that they are 'racist,' but I know i.e. in social situations, we (as in everbody does this), have a tendency to sometimes treat a person who is 'different' (not just racially) in a different manner to everybody else.
 
Every where I've ever worked, my hair has seemed to intrigue a few of my white co-workers. lol I've never felt like they meant any harm, they were genuinely interested. That doesn't, however, mean that it's not annoying. I learned that always answering their questions is almost allowing or confirming that it's okay for my hair to be the topic of the day. What you need to do is to just blatantly ignore the questions. Kinda' like:

Co-worker: How did you get your hair to do that? Is that your real hair?
You: What time is that staff meeting tomorrow?

After a couple times of that--they'll start to get the picture.
 
YankeeCandle said:
Not just European-ancestry people ask me about my hair. I work with several South Asians and East Asians, as well as a Black American woman who, as far as I can tell, has had the same simple, permed style and length (shoulder) for several years. I don't know how familiar the latter is with the diversity of fake hair options (wigs, half wigs, weaves, phony buns/ponies, clip in extensions) out there.

My hair is a always a topic of discussion. "Oh, did you cut your hair?" (me: no, I just wore it curly, so it looks shorter); "Oh, how'd you get your hair to wave like that?" (it was a wig, BTW, but I didn't tell them).
Click to expand...

Clearly these folks are bonding over this issue. I would take the ringleader for a one on one conference on how she is sofa king rude!!!

Extra polite, of course. "Is there some reason you're so interested in my fake or real hair?"

I actually don't know exactly how the course of the entire meeting would be mapped out, but UGH!!!
 
yaya24 said:
Coworker: Is that your real hair?
You: (With your new 16 inch weave) Yes.

The end
Click to expand...

goodnight :dead:

I would just say "are those your real boobs? I know they look much bigger when you wear a wonder bra." or something equally intrusive and rude.

Maybe then they will get the idea that it's personal and you can't go blurting that down the hallway.
 
We had a casual staff meeting, everyone is jeans, and I'd done my hair in a bun with little tendrils. I said hello to a man from another office, looked around, and he's STANDING there looking down at my hair:nono: Now the few times he'd seen me was in my short curly wig, but he's beyond old enough not to do crap like that! I asked if something was wrong with my hair and he said no. I guess the tendrils hanging near my chest threw him off!

Why does it matter so much what we do to our hair! Now, if someone admires my wig, I say thanks and keep it moving, but I won't be loud talked!!!
 
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I get this at work as well, and when they ask me the stupid is that your hair question all loud I give them a real sarcastic response back, just as loud.

co-worker: Wow your hair grew fast... Is that your hair
me: yup sure is, us black women have a secret serum that grows our hair overnight.

I've stopped plenty of people from asking me that silly *** question with this response. I say it with as much sarcasm I can muster and a sweet innocent smile on my face
 
Foufie said:
I know ya'll. I was trying not to cuss a mutha@$#% out. But they testing me. I was just trying to see how others handled it. *sigh*
Click to expand...



You're too funny! I know how you feel tho.The ones i work w/ stay checking my strands for weave! Too bad for em' cause i really don't wear it (probably would a lil' more if i didn't work there). But i feel like i'm always trying to bust their balls and their stereotypes! I say Effe em' they ain't worth it like she said KIM!!
 
Possibly-Before I answer you I just have to ask, have you put on weight? Something looks different about you. Contacts? Are you ill? You look tired. Anyway, take care of yourself, I need to get home or(back to work or whatever)

Or- It seems as if your hair never changes, same style all the time. I guess some people are afraid of change. Anyway, I need to get back to work.

Or change of subject-Comment on weather(or whatever), instead of answering the question.
 
I think you are to be commended for keeping your cool. You would not BELIEVE how much people have been wanting to try me lately. It definitely seems to be a trend with Caucasians especially. They gettin bold.

I do feel, however, that there is a difference between curiosity and rudeness. And trust me, they know the exact difference too. I know some caucasions who feel obligated to talk about my hair or matters such as "rap music" for example, just to feel for a minuscule second that can relate to my ethnicity. Which is silly and does the complete opposite.
It's always better to educate them whenever you have situations like this, so that theres one less ignorant person in the world. But I am also a strong believer of putting the fear in peoples heart when need be...which would also be in your situation :yawn:
 
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