A Girl Walks Into A Bar

[naturalmanenyc]

I had to get used to it since I traveled so much for work. I wasn't about to sit in my room night after night. Sit at the bar only get a table if you are not in the mood to talk to anyone. Go to a nice restaurant and have dinner at the bar. Chat with the bartender. Do not read a book or be so engrossed in your phone

+1 to all of this. More often when I travel it's to meet up with colleagues for team meetings but on the occasions when I get in the day before or if I'm traveling alone, I eat at the bar. When I was younger, I'd just order room service and eat alone.

 

[londontresses]

Subscribing. Thanks for sharing OP!

 

[prettyinpurple]

I've been going out by myself for years, so I have that part down. But I do need to work on initiating conversation. It's very hard for me since I'm such an introvert.

I'm gonna ping you next time I'm in Boston and we'll get some conversations started! Hope I get up there in the next few months. Right about now, prob just gonna let the worst of winter pass by

I can't wait until my office moves into DC proper. It's going to make going out sooooooooo much easier. Could be a good or bad thing, but I'm choosing to make it good.

Yay! You know we need to meet in person finally.

 

[prettyinpurple]

I tend to visit casual bars so I'm rarely dressed up for them.

But a cute shirt and a little cleavage never hurt nobody....just saying. Even I can do that on a lazy day.

 

[MzLady78]

I'm gonna ping you next time I'm in Boston and we'll get some conversations started! Hope I get up there in the next few months. Right about now, prob just gonna let the worst of winter pass by


Yay! You know we need to meet in person finally.

Oh, cool. Yeah, definitely let me know when you're in town.

 

[GetHappy2014]

I tend to visit casual bars so I'm rarely dressed up for them.

But a cute shirt and a little cleavage never hurt nobody....just saying. Even I can do that on a lazy day.

Cleavage is the universal language.

 

[prettyinpurple]

Cleavage is the universal language.

Yes it is.

I forget about mine sometimes until I'm leaning over the bar while talking to bartender, or when I leaning in to guys sitting next to me. It's funny to me.

 

[Browndilocks]

This was in hopping in Athens, Greece. Trying to find pictures that don't have me in them but you get the idea. Just do it! You never know.

 

[okange76]

Oh, cool. Yeah, definitely let me know when you're in town.

Can I join y'all ? A girl needs all the help in the world.

 

[MzLady78]

Can I join y'all ? A girl needs all the help in the world.

Absolutely!

 

[shespoison]

Going out to alone bars saved my life today. I am too sick to cook and one of my bar friends (Manager of a bar and the restaurant next door to it) I met while going out checked up on me. He asked if I needed anything and right now I am busting don't some soup and a shrimp app. The delivery man, who knows me because he works at the bar, wouldnt even let me tip him!

 

[DarkJoy]

I'll be waiting for updates!

 

[prettyinpurple]

Can I join y'all ? A girl needs all the help in the world.

Absolutely!

Double yes!

Also I've made friends with the female bartenders and servers, and gotten to know some of the female regulars. Don't think of it as just a place to meet date-able men. You can make friends of both sexes, and expand your crowd.

So start talking to that woman next to you if that's more comfortable for you.

 

[Harina]

I smell a book deal...

 

[ArrrBeee]

Dear LHCF diary,

Entry #1-

Last night went better than I expected. I was nervous but like I always say, feel the fear and do it anyway. I sat at the bar and about 10 minutes later, a sister sat down next to me. We chatted and hit it off and she told me that she was meeting a friend for a networking event. Her friend came over and we joined his group. They had an open bar and free food. There were lots of guys there but no one caught my eye from a prospecting perspective.

One of my goals of getting out of the house, is to interact more with men because I work around a bunch of women. I tried out one of the techniques that I learned from reading The Queens Code and it worked. In TQC, the author states that men want to be protectors and providers and as each man described his job duties, I spoke positively as to how their actions protected us (they worked in cybersecurity). I noticed them swell with pride and stand a little straighter. They weren't being arrogant, I was just speaking their language.

It feels strange to be in my 40's and trying to figure out things that I wish I would have mastered 2 decades ago. You live and you learn.

Cheers,

ArrrBeee

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

How do you not look awkward while doing this? Like not nervously checking your phone, etc.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Dear LHCF diary,

Entry #1-

Last night went better than I expected. I was nervous but like I always say, feel the fear and do it anyway. I sat at the bar and about 10 minutes later, a sister sat down next to me. We chatted and hit it off and she told me that she was meeting a friend for a networking event. Her friend came over and we joined his group. They had an open bar and free food. There were lots of guys there but no one caught my eye from a prospecting perspective.

One of my goals of getting out of the house, is to interact more with men because I work around a bunch of women. I tried out one of the techniques that I learned from reading The Queens Code and it worked. In TQC, the author states that men want to be protectors and providers and as each man described his job duties, I spoke positively as to how their actions protected us (they worked in cybersecurity). I noticed them swell with pride and stand a little straighter. They weren't being arrogant, I was just speaking their language.

It feels strange to be in my 40's and trying to figure out things that I wish I would have mastered 2 decades ago. You live and you learn.

Cheers,

ArrrBeee

This is how I will start 2016.
In fact will start sooner.

 

[mzpurp]

Sounds like a good night! Looking forward to reading more!

 

[ArrrBeee]

How do you not look awkward while doing this? Like not nervously checking your phone, etc.

Use the menu as a prop, stall by ordering a glass of water, and look around casually and smile. That's what worked for me.

 

[abcd09]

I got two outfits that bring me success

ETA:

If its super cold I wear tights and bring a jacket.
If its to cold for that I stay home

ot: where do you shop and how old are you

 

[summertimewine]

ot: where do you shop and how old are you

I either shop at Macy's or online at thot shops like my bandage dress.com lol
I am 22

 

[abcd09]

I either shop at Macy's or online at thot shops like my bandage dress.com lol
I am 22

Okay not trying to be creepy I promise. I like the second outfit and was wondering if I could pull that off being in my late 20s

 

[kupenda]

Okay not trying to be creepy I promise. I like the second outfit and was wondering if I could pull that off being in my late 20s

You are too young to be asking if you can "pull off" outfits

 

[sgold04]

How do you not look awkward while doing this? Like not nervously checking your phone, etc.

I usually watch tv (if there is one), I try to sit by the TVs that show something I watch, like basketball, football or the news (as long as it's not Fox). If I'm feeling chatty I'll strike up a convo with someone sitting next to me about the game, or with the bartender, but 90% of the time others start conversing with me first. When chatting with the bartender, others usually chime into our conversation.

I don't know how else to describe it, but just look like you are comfortable in your own skin. Most people aren't judging someone who is solo, if anything, it makes you more approachable. I must add that I don't have resting **** face, I look "open" from what people tell me, whatever that means.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I usually watch tv (if there is one), I try to sit by the TVs that show something I watch, like basketball, football or the news (as long as it's not Fox). If I'm feeling chatty I'll strike up a convo with someone sitting next to me about the game, or with the bartender, but 90% of the time others start conversing with me first. When chatting with the bartender, others usually chime into our conversation.

I don't know how else to describe it, but just look like you are comfortable in your own skin. Most people aren't judging someone who is solo, if anything, it makes you more approachable. I must add that I don't have resting **** face, I look "open" from what people tell me, whatever that means.

Uh oh ... I have RBF. Or actually Resting Bored Face. People ask me if I'm okay or if I'm having fun a lot. I don't have the cure yet, I smile quite a bit but in-between, that's what I get.

 

[summertimewine]

Okay not trying to be creepy I promise. I like the second outfit and was wondering if I could pull that off being in my late 20s

Yeah it's a skirt and a top. Very cute on anyone. Just wear it with confidence and the rest will fall in line.

 

[gimbap]

Have you guys seen the latest episode of #blacklove. The relationship expert made one of the ladies go to a bar by herself. She just kinda sat there, chatted with the bartender, fluffed her hair, played with her phone I figured that's what I'm going to look like. But I'm going to force myself to do it anyway, at least once. After the holidays

 

[ArrrBeee]

#2-
Met a friend and her hubby for happy hour. We were seated on the patio but since I'm committed to this "experiment", I devised a strategy. I went to the bar and stood by 2 guys and asked them if I could look at the drink menu. They both introduced themselves and I asked some random blah blah questions about the restaurant. I then left and went back to my friends. Later in the evening, I went back to the bar and one of the guys was still there. I invited him to our table and he hung for awhile. He gave me his number and I looked like and told him that he could have mine. He texted me yesterday and invited me to dinner. We had a good time and he wants to go out again.

 

[Naveah2050]

go head sis!!

 

[sweetvi]

#2-
Met a friend and her hubby for happy hour. We were seated on the patio but since I'm committed to this "experiment", I devised a strategy. I went to the bar and stood by 2 guys and asked them if I could look at the drink menu. They both introduced themselves and I asked some random blah blah questions about the restaurant. I then left and went back to my friends. Later in the evening, I went back to the bar and one of the guys was still there. I invited him to our table and he hung for awhile. He gave me his number and I looked like and told him that he could have mine. He texted me yesterday and invited me to dinner. We had a good time and he wants to go out again.

girl!! forget that!! in 2016, I am putting myself out there. I noticed that when I travel to other countries, I get approached more because I'm always out and about and doing things on vacay. no matter where I am at, I got approached . I believe it was the combination of being happy and being carefree. As opposed to back in the states, I am home in my room watching TV or YouTube


.......welp!