A Conversation with Friends...an Educational sidebar
- Thread starter MzShouldaLength
- Start date
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
It's okay, I've been trying to ever-so-delicately explain to my mother that a harsh shampoo doesn't strip out your perm, that what she is experiencing is the shampoo stripping the moisture out of her hair.
maxineshaw
Well-Known Member
Hilarious!grease was the "moisturizer" of choice back in the day. Lol. And still is to some obviously. SMH...I'm still trying to convert my sister. Anything that smells good to her just has to be great for the hair. Oh well.
Hey now, ain't nothing wrong with some grease.
My sister and your sister must be BFFs or something because that's exactly how she judges products-by their fragrance.
Both of you are very smart. When I started on my healthy hair care journey I was acting like I had just got religion.
That is toooo funny, and it's so true.Now, two separate conversations with my roommate...
Convo #1:
Roomie: Well, I put the relaxer all the way through the ends of my hair.
Me: Why? Your hair is already processed. Overprocessing hair leads to breakage.
Roomie: But it makes your hair straighter if you do it every time you perm your hair.
Me: "..."
Convo #2:
Roomie: *puts leftover relaxer in the fridge*
Me: What are you doing?
Roomie: I'm putting this stuff up so I can use it next time I perm.
Me: Well, why don't you just mix what you need instead of using the entire box?
Roomie: *looks at me like I'm stupid*
I quit after that one.
Hey now, ain't nothing wrong with some grease.
My sister and your sister must be BFFs or something because that's exactly how she judges products-by their fragrance.
Now, two separate conversations with my roommate...
Convo #1:
Roomie: Well, I put the relaxer all the way through the ends of my hair.
Me: Why? Your hair is already processed. Overprocessing hair leads to breakage.
Roomie: But it makes your hair straighter if you do it every time you perm your hair.
Me: "..."
Convo #2:
Roomie: *puts leftover relaxer in the fridge*
Me: What are you doing?
Roomie: I'm putting this stuff up so I can use it next time I perm.
Me: Well, why don't you just mix what you need instead of using the entire box?
Roomie: *looks at me like I'm stupid*
I quit after that one.
I've seen this done quite often, except that the relaxer is put into a freezer (as if it is being put into a time machine).
I'm still aghast that people will relax their hair from root to tip with each application; don't relaxers come with explicit instructions?
empressri
Well-Known Member
This is actually true of some conditioners, or I should say ingredients. They tend to act corrosive if you leave them on for longer than you should and they can break your hair. Never new this till my friend whom majored in chemistry and has her own haircare line told me when we were chatting one day.
Tamster
New Member
this thread is great.
after starting my HHJ, my mom told me that "our hair wasn't meant to be wet"... so I should stop cowashing/washing so much.
.... no thanks. i will not revisit THOSE days. lol.
also, apparently every product I suggest (whether it be honey, an oil, an egg white, avocado, shea butter, etc) "probably can't be used with relaxed hair" for some strange reason like its going to react to it. :/
and she INSISTS on trying to throw some sulfur 8 in my hair (which she made me do for years esp before a touch up.... [aren't you supposed to stop using sulfur before a relaxer??].. even though I hated the smell).. its petrolatum and then sulfur. I tried to explain that I didn't want petro on my scalp but noooooo.
and grandma insists that a fine tooth comb is the only way to comb.
and auntie j gets color and relaxed on the same day. every time. WHY
Somehow they all have their hair to SL, and my mom is bra strap, but its definitely not going past that.
*sigh*
after starting my HHJ, my mom told me that "our hair wasn't meant to be wet"... so I should stop cowashing/washing so much.
.... no thanks. i will not revisit THOSE days. lol.
also, apparently every product I suggest (whether it be honey, an oil, an egg white, avocado, shea butter, etc) "probably can't be used with relaxed hair" for some strange reason like its going to react to it. :/
and she INSISTS on trying to throw some sulfur 8 in my hair (which she made me do for years esp before a touch up.... [aren't you supposed to stop using sulfur before a relaxer??].. even though I hated the smell).. its petrolatum and then sulfur. I tried to explain that I didn't want petro on my scalp but noooooo.
and grandma insists that a fine tooth comb is the only way to comb.
and auntie j gets color and relaxed on the same day. every time. WHY
Somehow they all have their hair to SL, and my mom is bra strap, but its definitely not going past that.
*sigh*
teysmith
Well-Known Member
Its true a lot of people dont believe that relaxers are permanent. I guess that explains why a lot of people relax from root to tip.
Many People think that If they stop relaxing then they are natural.. My sister thinks this.
when I told my coworker that I cut my hair off because I wanted to be natural she looked at me like I was crazy and was like "so u cut off your hair so you could be natural? why didnt you just stop relaxing?"
Lucky's Mom
New Member
So much reeediculous garbage being taught to folks! NO thanks! Don't need you stylists!
IMO people can do what they want with their hair what gets me mad is when people try to tell ME what to do with my hair (people with chewed up EL/NL hair at that). The other day my mum kept telling me my hair wasn't "relaxed enough" (it's not bonelaxed and I love it!!!). Then I was told by my sister if I don't weave I'm going to have to flat iron every day and relax every month to maintain my own hair...
Do what you want with yours but if you don't know what you're talking about please don't tell me what to do with mine!
Do what you want with yours but if you don't know what you're talking about please don't tell me what to do with mine!
Kurlee
Well-Known Member
this sounds so 1845 on massa's porch. So embarrassing.Great thread! I have had ppl tell me I wash my hair like a "white girl", and "white" products don't work on black hair.
I heard a convo in the bbs that went like this:
lady 1: black people are ONLY supposed to wash there hair ONCE a month
lady 2: That's Nasty! I wash mine TWICE a month!
then they went on to talk about hair grease...
lady 1: Blue Magic is the best grease for growing hair. I been using it for years!
lady 2: I'm gon start using it.
lady 1: I grease my head very week!
the curious side of me just had to see what their hair looked like, so I walked to the side of the store they were in and lady 1's hair was at the top of her ear, badly damaged, broken, no edges and just a hot mess. lady 2's hair was NL but badly broken, see-thru and scraggly ends.
All I could do was smdh... the blind leading the blind...
I think the thinking behind that is you cut off split or damaged ends in order to retain length. If you leave them the split ends will travel up the hair shaft and cause breakage, it's more about retention than growth... I think...
JuiceMobsta
Well-Known Member
I always wonder why people use the words "relaxer" and "perm" interchangeably as if it were the same thing...:scratchch
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
caribeandiva
Human being
Are you serious?The fight starts when I mention drinking water ... my cousins and mother have to force themselves to drink water because it tastes BAD
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
doll-baby
Well-Known Member
Both of you are very smart. When I started on my healthy hair care journey I was acting like I had just got religion.
I was the same way I started giving hair advice to any and everyone who would listen. My mom took my advice but my BF told me she'd figure her hair out on her own
MzShouldaLength
New Member
Just as I thought that I was the only one that's experienced crazy conversations about hair, this thread shows up!
What happened to you reminds me of what happened when my daughter and I went to the hairdresser a few months ago. I’m sitting in the visitor’s chair eyeing my stylist to make sure that she only trims my daughter’s hair (because lately she’s taken to cutting instead of trimming) when her other client noticed what I was doing. Apparently she felt that I cautioned my hairdresser one too many times about cutting my child’s hair because the woman (who introduced herself previously as someone in the medical field) felt the need to tell me about the benefits of cutting hair.
First she starts off with,” Oh you really shouldn't worry about your daughter's hair being cut. You see, what most people don't know is that most of our body is controlled by hormones and hormones deliver messages to our bodies through the use of receptors….”
As she launches into her explanation, my hairstylist, who is now prepping my child’s hair for a rollerset, starts to nod vigorously.
But then she continues ,” so it’s really good when your hair is cut because whenever it's cut the receptors in your hair sends messages to your hormones letting them know that your hair has been cut and that jumpstarts your hormones to start growing new hair. So when you cut your hair, that’s the signal to your body to tell it to start growing again!”
When she said this - Noooo joke – I paused to wait for her to break into a smile or something that said that she was kidding! That's when I realizes that she. was.serious!!
She was sitting there looking at me with the most serious look on her face as if she’d just dropped some valuable knowledge on me! Meanwhile, I wanted to tell her that hair can’t have active receptors in it because hair is already dead (not to mention that even if it were alive, cutting inches of hair would still take away from the inches of new growth), but I just couldn’t!!! I was too busy trying to hold it together as I looked at the looks on both my daughter and my hairstylist’s faces! When my hairstylist heard this she stopped nodding and started becoming extra busy roller setting my child’s hair. Meanwhile my daughter turned away from the mirror so that she couldn’t see me and burst into laughter! I was left all alone to respond to this woman!!!
All I could do was turn to her (who by the way has ear length hair) and say,”Wow that’s….that’s an interesting theory. Uhm….listen,
have you heard of a site called LHCF?”Wooooooooowwwwwww!
Bless her heart!!!!
Uber
Active Member
IMO people can do what they want with their hair what gets me mad is when people try to tell ME what to do with my hair (people with chewed up EL/NL hair at that). The other day my mum kept telling me my hair wasn't "relaxed enough" (it's not bonelaxed and I love it!!!). Then I was told by my sister if I don't weave I'm going to have to flat iron every day and relax every month to maintain my own hair...
Do what you want with yours but if you don't know what you're talking about please don't tell me what to do with mine!
Exactly. when my mum stayed round, at that time I washed my hair every morning, she asked "why you washing your hair again". This is from a lady whose only hair advice was not to grease my hair before washing because I'd waste the grease. For years I thought I had to wash my hair as little as possible which probably amounted to about 3 times a year or after removing extensions. My mum's proud of my hair. She thinks she spent a lot of love and attention to get it to s/l. She doesn't know I'm a few inches on my way to APL (by God's grace).
when she commented on me washing my hair I smiled and said nothing. I'm looking forward to the day I bamboozle her with hair down my back. I love her but don't want advice from her.
MzShouldaLength
New Member
Just as I thought that I was the only one that's experienced crazy conversations about hair, this thread shows up!
All I could do was turn to her (who by the way has ear length hair) and say,”Wow that’s….that’s an interesting theory. Uhm….listen,
Wooooooooowwwwwww!
Hahahaha...
And it ALWAYS be the ones who just about bald trying to give you advice. Even if what she was saying had ANY kind of truth to it, why would I believe you when your strands are barely past your ears? Gon keep cutting, you really gone be bald in a minute. Lol. Them hair receptors won't be getting the msg then.
Uber
Active Member
It's funny...until recently I never even noticed how many ladies have really badly damaged hair. I sit in church and a large proportion of ladies' hair is no longer than neck length with damaged ends or they have really really bad weaves/extensions. I sincerely never noticed before. It's a shame really and I wish I could give every one of them advice but I daren't
caribeandiva
Human being
I'm curious. What area of the medical field does she work in? please don't say dermatology!Just as I thought that I was the only one that's experienced crazy conversations about hair, this thread shows up!
What happened to you reminds me of what happened when my daughter and I went to the hairdresser a few months ago. I’m sitting in the visitor’s chair eyeing my stylist to make sure that she only trims my daughter’s hair (because lately she’s taken to cutting instead of trimming) when her other client noticed what I was doing. Apparently she felt that I cautioned my hairdresser one too many times about cutting my child’s hair because the woman (who introduced herself previously as someone in the medical field) felt the need to tell me about the benefits of cutting hair.
First she starts off with,” Oh you really shouldn't worry about your daughter's hair being cut. You see, what most people don't know is that most of our body is controlled by hormones and hormones deliver messages to our bodies through the use of receptors….”
As she launches into her explanation, my hairstylist, who is now prepping my child’s hair for a rollerset, starts to nod vigorously.
But then she continues ,” so it’s really good when your hair is cut because whenever it's cut the receptors in your hair sends messages to your hormones letting them know that your hair has been cut and that jumpstarts your hormones to start growing new hair. So when you cut your hair, that’s the signal to your body to tell it to start growing again!”
When she said this - Noooo joke – I paused to wait for her to break into a smile or something that said that she was kidding! That's when I realizes that she. was.serious!!
When my hairstylist heard this she stopped nodding and started becoming extra busy roller setting my child’s hair. Meanwhile my daughter turned away from the mirror so that she couldn’t see me and burst into laughter! I was left all alone to respond to this woman!!!
All I could do was turn to her (who by the way has ear length hair) and say,”Wow that’s….that’s an interesting theory. Uhm….listen,
Wooooooooowwwwwww!
divachyk
Instagram: adaybyjay
I'm 32 and just recently learned that you can't wash out a relaxer b/c it's permanent. I use to think washing your hair made you need to relax sooner. LHCF taught me otherwise.Friend 1: 5 wks...
Me: WHAT?! And u already about to perm again....I'm 10 wks post...
Friend 2: Oooo girl, how u do that...anything past 5 to 6 wks and it's breakage everywhere...
Friend 1: It's almost time for me to wash my hair...I wash about every 3 days...
Me: Me too...I can't go longer than that
Friend 2: Well that's the reason why you need a perm so often...you WASHING the perm out!!
Me:erplexed I mention that you can't WASH out a perm, it's permanent?
Glamorous_chic
Well-Known Member
this thread is funny. thankfully alot of this information i never believed b/c my sister helped to educate me about hair. one thing i was guilty of was believing i needed a relaxer every 6 weeks b/c my beutician told me this after i waited 12 weeks. she told me i waited to long and my hair was badily broken and she had to cut it. after that, i made sure to relax every 6 weeks to prevent breakage.
i recently wrote a thread about cutting hair and making it grow. some people truely believe if you cut your hair it will make it grow. not retention, but grow! one of my friends who said this also told me that it had been 7 weeks since her last relaxer and she was almost natural. said her growth was down to her chin.
lachen: that was the look gave and quickly changed the subject. considering her hair was only sl, how is her ng down to her chin after 7 weeks?! i had a high school friend who went natural in high school tell me that she never transitioned. said her hair dresser used a special shampoo to wash the perm out (explained difference between perm and relaxer too) she didnt believe me though.
so now, i dont give unsolicited advice. i just and keep it moving.
i recently wrote a thread about cutting hair and making it grow. some people truely believe if you cut your hair it will make it grow. not retention, but grow! one of my friends who said this also told me that it had been 7 weeks since her last relaxer and she was almost natural. said her growth was down to her chin.
lachen: that was the look gave and quickly changed the subject. considering her hair was only sl, how is her ng down to her chin after 7 weeks?! i had a high school friend who went natural in high school tell me that she never transitioned. said her hair dresser used a special shampoo to wash the perm out (explained difference between perm and relaxer too) she didnt believe me though.so now, i dont give unsolicited advice. i just
and keep it moving.
arosieworld
Thanks 4 our nail *****!
I just stop by the office at my work (with wet hair) and my boss said
"girl how can you make mondays your wash day?"
I said "everyday is my wash day."
Boss "your gonna break all that stuff and you just grew it."
Me "I've been wash it this way since I was bald, when's it gonna start breaking off?
Boss "Really? You must have that indian hair."
Me " No, its a myth that it hurts your hair."
Boss "Black hair can't take that much water"
Me "LOL maybe yours can't but we both know how fast mine grows"
Boss " Yeah I know I wish you would start selling that stuff"
Meanwhile I have sent her a link to this site a million times. Her hair is the same length it was when I shaved my head.
"girl how can you make mondays your wash day?"
I said "everyday is my wash day."
Boss "your gonna break all that stuff and you just grew it."
Me "I've been wash it this way since I was bald, when's it gonna start breaking off?
Boss "Really? You must have that indian hair."
Me " No, its a myth that it hurts your hair."
Boss "Black hair can't take that much water"
Me "LOL maybe yours can't but we both know how fast mine grows"
Boss " Yeah I know I wish you would start selling that stuff"
Meanwhile I have sent her a link to this site a million times. Her hair is the same length it was when I shaved my head.
KweenBeeDiva
Well-Known Member
The most ig'nant comments I get are about conditioner/products for 'White people.'
Other than that, I KIM.Honestly, it's getting to the point where I don't like to discuss it IRL unless it's at the salon or around my mother.
Other than that, I KIM.Honestly, it's getting to the point where I don't like to discuss it IRL unless it's at the salon or around my mother.
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