A confused black man wants to know...

[gone_fishing]

tfleming32_2000 yahoo ID

thomas: Women are soo complicated
thomas: I've been doing a test
gratiae: uh huh
thomas: speaking to them different
thomas: and am getting more responses
thomas: what do you love most about your man?
gratiae: his muscles
gratiae: I KID
thomas: I know
thomas: tell me
gratiae: hard for me to put my finger on just one thing.
gratiae: it's the total package
gratiae: not just one attribute
thomas: ok
gratiae: you know
thomas: I got you
gratiae: i think generally people fall in love with someone who makes them feel good about themselves
gratiae: that's why sometimes you seen fine men with ugly dudes or ugly women with fine dudes
gratiae: there's something about the person that makes them just generallly feel good as a person
gratiae: they are supportive, affectionate, positive, uplifting
gratiae: rather than nagging, negative, insulting, and making you feel like crap all the time
thomas: right
thomas: oh well
gratiae: why oh well?
thomas: just frustrated, I wanna be in love so bad, and I know I would treat her great... Just can't find someone that is worthy
gratiae: what is "worthy" to you
gratiae: cause no woman is ms. perfect ya know
thomas: right
gratiae: and my man certainly has his IMS days
thomas: but ok take for instance
thomas: last girl I was talking too
thomas: suddenly stopped the relationship saying that she is getting fat and needs to refocus
gratiae: wha?
thomas: said that she needs all this new stuff
thomas: car
gratiae: well her priorities were all whacky anyway
thomas: right
gratiae: you can work out
gratiae: and be in a relationship
thomas: but I was starting to love her
gratiae: lol
gratiae: oh
gratiae: well sounds like those were some excuses on her part
thomas: I would have helped her get all the new stuff she wanted
thomas: funny thing is that she was the one always asking me to come over
thomas: I would be in my bed sleeping
thomas: but it became I always wanted to see her
thomas: and I was a distraction
gratiae: hmm
thomas: second girl told me I was too much for her
thomas: cause I cared
gratiae: sounds like that movie i saw
thomas: I only saw that crazy girl once
thomas: maybe twice
thomas: I either meet hoes
thomas: or women that don't know what they want
gratiae: yep
thomas: they front like they are good girls but they are lost
gratiae: i hear that a lot form guys
gratiae: you really ought to see that movie
gratiae: it'll help you understand why they are that way
thomas: one girl told me that when I compliment her she gets scared and thinks its game
gratiae: seriously
gratiae: you should talk to my friend anwon
thomas: I was like damn, since when did gamers give you a true compliment
gratiae: he's from that site
thomas: funny thing is I wanna get married
thomas: have another baby
thomas: buy a house and car
thomas: be the man of someone's dreams
thomas: that is why I wanna start the social club
thomas: so that good people can find good people
gratiae: good idea
thomas: this stuff is ridiculous
gratiae: you'll find someone
gratiae: be patient
gratiae: pray
thomas: I know
gratiae: but don't force it
thomas: but I want someone for my birthday
thomas: thanksgiving
thomas: christmas
thomas: funny th ing is my cuzin has a hundred women but he is a dog alll the way
gratiae: lol
thomas: they seem to like that better
gratiae: yeah
gratiae: i've heard all this before
gratiae: you are classic
gratiae: that's not better
gratiae: believe me
gratiae: you don't want the kind of women
gratiae: he's probably attracting
gratiae: they are emotinally damaged
gratiae: even if the yare beautiful
gratiae: because they have a defect
thomas: like normally when I see a woman on myspace I say how are you doing beautiful
thomas: no reply
gratiae: some women are broken
gratiae: they don't want a good guy
thomas: but today I was like, damn sexy. how are you feeling, they respond
gratiae: can i use this convo to start at thread on this black woman's forum?
gratiae: LOL
thomas: sure you can
gratiae: omg
gratiae: that's crazy
gratiae: they respond to that?
thomas: yep
gratiae: can i post your pic?
gratiae: otherwise they'll assume your just some scrub
gratiae: lol
thomas: sure you can
thomas: but you gotta let me know where this stuff is?
gratiae: yeah
thomas: you are a mess
thomas: I think Imma blog it on Myspace
thomas: this is sad
thomas: and thank you for not letting me be a scrub
gratiae: lol
gratiae: no problem.

 

[Kurlee]

WOW! There seems to be a disconnect with dating, good women can never find a good man and good men can never find good women. he's handsome and he 'seems' like a nice guy. I never understood women who love those bad types.... nice guys are so much better in the long term.

 

[DarkAngell]

WOW! There seems to be a disconnect with dating, good women can never find a good man and good men can never find good women. he's handsome and he 'seems' like a nice guy. I never understood women who love those bad types.... nice guys are so much better in the long term.

Exactly. I wish a man would say some of those things to me! I always find the ones that "dont want anything serious" and run if u even MENTION the word "commitment" LET ALONE "babies", "marriage" or anything of the sort.

But i stay patient and try and have faith...and what you just posted shows me that there ARE men out there that are still looking for all that. Just like there are many women out there who want what he wants/wants to give so tell him to keep his head up & stay just the way he is

 

[jturner7156]

Good Post...I just got an inch of hope !

 

[frostydoll]

I posted my reply in the "nice guys finish last thread" didn't realize there was another thread.

 

[gone_fishing]

I posted my reply in the "nice guys finish last thread" didn't realize there was another thread.

That was my mistake. Earlier today I was trying to change the title of the thread but I think I backspaced in order to change it and it created a double post. Sorry about that.

 

[gone_fishing]

I posted my reply in the "nice guys finish last thread" didn't realize there was another thread.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=48701500

That's his myspace page if anyone wants to explain it to him. LOL.

 

[frostydoll]

Aww I don't want to hurt his feelings lol. Can't you just tell him what we said?

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I don't think I'd care to explain it to him, lol. Poor guy though. It can't just be them though. Something has to be in him that's attracting those particular type of female. My cheer coach used to say, you have to be the type of woman that your ideal type of man would want. Same is true for men. Whenever I work on teh inner me, and get results I find my dating life improves as well.

 

[CandiceC]

I don't think I'd care to explain it to him, lol. Poor guy though. It can't just be them though. Something has to be in him that's attracting those particular type of female. My cheer coach used to say, you have to be the type of woman that your ideal type of man would want. Same is true for men. Whenever I work on teh inner me, and get results I find my dating life improves as well.

I agree.
He does seems like a nice guy. Some women like that, but a lot like being treated like crap for some reason. erplexed I have a good male friend that's nice, but he's always having issues with women. I know it's not just them though, it's him too.

His shirt says what I say all the time!

 

[1QTPie]

He's a cutie!

 

[cocoberry10]

Okay, I’m going to break it down like this: Nice guys finish last, but GOOD guys finish first. There’s a huge difference, and here it is. A nice guy is “nice,” in that he’s polite, pleasant, cordial, respectful, etc. However, often a “nice” guy is hiding his true self, b/c he’s trying to win a woman over. In the beginning, most women will like a “nice” guy b/c he’ll open doors, take you out, call you, bring flowers (those types of gestures). However, after a time, he will begin to show his real personality. If he’s really passive, this will become boring for a woman, b/c as human beings we like some challenge (not dramatic, but just differences of opinion). It’s healthy. Confidence is also attractive and healthy in a man. Or if he’s passive-aggressive, he will begin to make subtle digs or statements at you. Since he’s not “hitting” you, or cheating, he justifies this actually very childish behavior. But it’s not okay. Also, some “nice” guys actually have really low self-esteem and seek out “needy” women they can “save.” I have a guy friend who ruined his credit b/c he bought his “needy” girlfriend a car (even though he didn’t make a lot of money) and when she broke up with him, she kept the car and stopped making the payments. Oh, did I mention, she dumped him for her abusive ex.

On the other hand, I would say I want a “good” guy. It’s not the same as a “nice” guy. A good man will also do the polite things mentioned above, however, he is not afraid to disagree with you. He loves himself and has a life. He is not trying to be your savior, and like a good friend will tell you when you need to be told about yourself. He has a life, and is doing the things he wants to do. I hope this makes sense (I’m at work, and they are watching me today).

I don’t know what category your friend falls under. Feel free to share this with him. Maybe it will help!

 

[Radianthealth]

I agree it seems a lot of women don't like good guys. You gave him good advice.

I have always liked good guys. That is why you will never hear me calling men dogs, I never dated any dogs. I went for the type of guy that treated me well. If I saw any sign of foolishness I was out

It could be something else though, something about this convo makes him seem like he is looking at himself like a victim.

If he has this stance he will always attract women that victimize him

He may also come across as desperate, that is a turnoff. Happy positive confidence wins everyone over

 

[Radianthealth]

Okay, I’m going to break it down like this: Nice guys finish last, but GOOD guys finish first. There’s a huge difference, and here it is. A nice guy is “nice,” in that he’s polite, pleasant, cordial, respectful, etc. However, often a “nice” guy is hiding his true self, b/c he’s trying to win a woman over. In the beginning, most women will like a “nice” guy b/c he’ll open doors, take you out, call you, bring flowers (those types of gestures). However, after a time, he will begin to show his real personality. If he’s really passive, this will become boring for a woman, b/c as human beings we like some challenge (not dramatic, but just differences of opinion). It’s healthy. Confidence is also attractive and healthy in a man. Or if he’s passive-aggressive, he will begin to make subtle digs or statements at you. Since he’s not “hitting” you, or cheating, he justifies this actually very childish behavior. But it’s not okay. Also, some “nice” guys actually have really low self-esteem and seek out “needy” women they can “save.” I have a guy friend who ruined his credit b/c he bought his “needy” girlfriend a car (even though he didn’t make a lot of money) and when she broke up with him, she kept the car and stopped making the payments. Oh, did I mention, she dumped him for her abusive ex.

On the other hand, I would say I want a “good” guy. It’s not the same as a “nice” guy. A good man will also do the polite things mentioned above, however, he is not afraid to disagree with you. He loves himself and has a life. He is not trying to be your savior, and like a good friend will tell you when you need to be told about yourself. He has a life, and is doing the things he wants to do. I hope this makes sense (I’m at work, and they are watching me today).

I don’t know what category your friend falls under. Feel free to share this with him. Maybe it will help!

You betta preach!!!

This is too on point and a very accurate distinction between the two types

 

[cocoberry10]

You betta preach!!!

This is too on point and a very accurate distinction between the two types

Aaw thanks. I hope it helps her friend. I think there are a lot of genuinely good hearted guys that struggle between being the nice guy and the good guy, and they can’t figure out why they are having so much trouble.

 

[brownsuga]

Wow. I'm speechless.

 

[audacious1]

myspace is not the venue to get at people. that's his first mistake.

someone will come along when he least expects it. He should be patient.

He's very handsome