A certain 'type'

Britt

Britt

Well-Known Member
Is there a certain type that you naturally gravitate towards? Have you ever dated outside your type and it did / did not work out? By type, I mean physically and personality wise. Ex, the way they dress, certain key personality traits that you are driven towards naturally.

I ask this b/c I know myself, and since I was young (like pre teen/elementary) young, I'm innately drawn to a certain 'type' and for the most part it has not changed... even in my adult years. There are several key characteristics that will make me really drawn to a person or not. For example, funny... I'm drawn to comedic men, whether they are a character naturally, or they are a funny person. I also like men who are go getters, very protective, masculine, a bit rough around the edges (can hold their own), or people just kinda gravitate towards them. Even if they aren't 'rough around the edges' they have to be the other things said above. There's more to it, but I just find it amazing that even at 28 I am still drawn to this. FYI - I'm not talking about a dope boy or street hustla ... been there, done that already. I like men who can take charge and lead the way.

Even when I look at men outside my race or different SES brackets, there's a certain 'it' that I find myself attracted to. So it's def not just a 'black' thing... though, that is my preference.

This summer, I read this book, and it really does explain and break down our biological personality types and what we are naturally drawn towards. A very bright :think: went off in my head when I read it. The book really was an eye opener. It even helped me to put friendships into perspective. Even though my ex was my type physically speaking, as time went on, I realized that he wasn't on the inside. There were some key things that just would not work for me. But that's just who he was, and this is not to bash him, it truly was a character trait that you either accept or you don't. I ask this b/c even though when we look for our mate, we have a reasonable and rational list of all that we want, but someone could have all of those things on your list, or damn near close and you're still not attracted to them.
Compatibility can be quite complex :perplexed
 
First of all, I've been wanting to say this for a while. She should be sucking and he should be softly biting.:yep:
 
I use to like tall, thin nerdy types. Cowboys in tight jeans. Would be great if I could find a combo of all that. I'm not sure what my type is now.

One thing I remember my mother saying, you can tell an aggressive lover when you see one and I think that's true.
 
dlewis said:
I use to like tall, thin nerdy types. Cowboys in tight jeans. Would be great if I could find a combo of all that. I'm not sure what my type is now.

One thing I remember my mother saying, you can tell an aggressive lover when you see one and I think that's true.
Click to expand...
How can you tell an aggressive lover?
 
I usually gravitate to intellectuals since I'm one myself, nerdy or not.:grin: Doesn't matter if the guy is Black, Asian or anything else, my type isn't race specific. I like calm, composed guys with dry humor. I've gravitated towards guys not my usual type and my interest wanes pretty quickly.
 
I like a lot of different types both physically and personality wise. I think the one thing that attracts me is confidence and conversation. If a man can hold a good conversation I'm a goner.
 
I like very silly, goofy, funny guys. Life of the party types. I have no physical type. None of the guys I've liked look the same.
 
My type hasnt changed much enough. I like masculine looking men - meaning sharp or strong jawlines, muscular build or model lean figure. I more gravitate toward dark skin and slightly ethnic look. Professional but cultured. Confident and can mingle and fit in with anyone but very strong in who they are.

I have had to make a slight adjust in the usual jerks I am attracted to. I have literally been attracted to arrogant and stubborn men that are more of a challenge. My family says I lose interest too fast. Oh well....Now, I look for my sensitive qualities.

My current SO is a dream come true. But I did have to switch it up just a little bit and get used to the less challenging approach.
 
Darker [skin tone] men. Don't know why, but for some reason I've always been somewhat 'drawn' to darker men.

I tried to identify it with my Dad, but he wasn't dark toned.

Character wise most of the men I've had serious feelings for were funny and good to be around. They were also romantic and 'liked' being with me. So I guess my kind of man is the one who's Hershey chocolate and likes 'me'. :lol:

Looking at my 'handsome man's' picture, he's tall, dark and handsome.... :lol:

Oh well... :grin:
 
prettyfaceANB said:
My type hasnt changed much enough. I like masculine looking men - meaning sharp or strong jawlines, muscular build or model lean figure. I more gravitate toward dark skin and slightly ethnic look. Professional but cultured. Confident and can mingle and fit in with anyone but very strong in who they are.
Click to expand...

Physically this is almost the same thing I like to a T. In terms of personality I seem to be drawn to the strong silent types...but that normally doesn't work because I introverted myself. :sad: I think the life of the party types or the super social, out all the time guys are just too much for me. It kind of tires me. When these kind of guys approach me I normally don't follow up. :look:
 
I've always liked well-read, well traveled, tall, skinny skateboarders/rockers/hipsters. I never go for the traditionally masculine guys, I like my men to be a little weird. Almost every guy I've been serious with has 1) parents that are still married 2)tattoos 3) played guitar and 4) been multi-lingual.

I would never mesh with a simple, conservative guy.
 
My serious relationships have been with men who more or less look like myself. :grin:

My type has a good heart, is trustworthy and genuine. A man with integrity and kind brown eyes. That's what I love. Someone I can respect.
 
I don't think I could ever date a guy who wasn't a little nerdy. What're we gonna talk about? Sports? Kanye? Boobs? :perplexed
 
^^^Lol @ abcd09. I like nerdy guys too. The guy who is just into whatever is currently playing on the radio and football is not a good look. We need to be able to talk about something.

I found an article that talks about the types from the book the OP posted. I dont fit any of the types to a T but the closest is the Negotiator. I think i'm drawn to guys who fit the Director description.

Our Love Quiz Can Improve Your Marriage
 
Imani said:
^^^Lol @ abcd09. I like nerdy guys too. The guy who is just into whatever is currently playing on the radio and football is not a good look. We need to be able to talk about something.

I found an article that talks about the types from the book the OP posted. I dont fit any of the types to a T but the closest is the Negotiator. I think i'm drawn to guys who fit the Director description.

Our Love Quiz Can Improve Your Marriage
Click to expand...


I took this test again and got the same results. I am a NEGOTIATOR/builder. I truly do make up both of these characteristics and I am really drawn to Director type men. It's like we balance each other in some ways. I suspect my ex was a negotiator/builder (not sure which is his dominant personality) but he lacked the 'umph' and directness and other factors that a Director would have that I feel I need from a man. I don't necessarily want a man just like me. I was with a (unbeknownst to me at the time) a very big negotiator about 10 years ago, and I always felt like he was really the male version of myself. It was uncanny, and we are a few days apart too, even went to the same daycare, we have similar handwriting, we are both lefties... We have a lot in common but I was never attracted to him in that way. Fast forward, I recently saw him and we had a drink I still feel the same way about him. There was even several times where I'd try and force myself to like him b/c he is such a great guy! He'd make a fantastic spouse or SO, but not for me. The funny thing is, he wants someone just like me. I guess maybe it's the negotiator in him seeking another negotiator.
 
Brittster said:
I took this test again and got the same results. I am a NEGOTIATOR/builder. I truly do make up both of these characteristics and I am really drawn to Director type men. It's like we balance each other in some ways. I suspect my ex was a negotiator/builder (not sure which is his dominant personality) but he lacked the 'umph' and directness and other factors that a Director would have that I feel I need from a man. I don't necessarily want a man just like me. I was with a (unbeknownst to me at the time) a very big negotiator about 10 years ago, and I always felt like he was really the male version of myself. It was uncanny, and we are a few days apart too, even went to the same daycare, we have similar handwriting, we are both lefties... We have a lot in common but I was never attracted to him in that way. Fast forward, I recently saw him and we had a drink I still feel the same way about him. There was even several times where I'd try and force myself to like him b/c he is such a great guy! He'd make a fantastic spouse or SO, but not for me. The funny thing is, he wants someone just like me. I guess maybe it's the negotiator in him seeking another negotiator.
Click to expand...


I think me and my ex were both negotiators. We were reallygreat friends, tried to date. Big disaster. I feel the same way u do, I don't want a man just like me either. He was a great guy, but it was just so draining and I think I am naturally drawn romantically someone with more masculine energy.
 
I just took that quick test..I'm definitely a negotiator. And oddly enough, most of the men I've dated have been Directors (which has conflicted with my other side which likes to rebel against controlling types).

As far as type, there's two who I consistently fall for/and approach me---the athletic, jock types, very manly and traditional,professional....and the artistic,spiritual, intellectual vegan type. I wish I could meet someone who is a combo.
 
Duchesse said:
I just took that quick test..I'm definitely a negotiator. And oddly enough, most of the men I've dated have been Directors (which has conflicted with my other side which likes to rebel against controlling types).

As far as type, there's two who I consistently fall for/and approach me---the athletic, jock types, very manly and traditional,professional....and the artistic,spiritual, intellectual vegan type. I wish I could meet someone who is a combo.
Click to expand...

Im the same way, I like the artistic types, but I still like manly men and can be professional as well. I used to talk to a guy who kinda fit that bill. He wasn't athletic at all. But he was very ambitious, intelligent, and professional. But he was also a musician on the side and into the indy scene and healthy eating and stuff as well. He was very controlling tho and some other issues so that didn't work out.
 
I've noticed that my ex's are usually dark skinned, average built, nerdy/geeky. However, there is a flip side because for some reason, I'm drawn to guys that are not available both physically and emotionally. This aspect of the guys personality always drew me in as like a savior to them and a desperate need for me. Now, I'm still attracted to the dark skinned, average built, nerdy/geeky kind but it's their personality and traits that I'm looking at the most is a sense of humor, single (ok that's not really a trait), career/goal orientated, born-again believers in Christ and have a relationship with him, respectful, supportive, healthy, good teeth (it shows a good hygiene), and someone who is available to build a friendship that will lead to something more. I believe with each relationship, I've taken something in me that is good and it allows me to learn what I would like to have in a mate but also what I would not tolerate.
 
Imani said:
I think me and my ex were both negotiators. We were reallygreat friends, tried to date. Big disaster. I feel the same way u do, I don't want a man just like me either. He was a great guy, but it was just so draining and I think I am naturally drawn romantically someone with more masculine energy.
Click to expand...

This is me......
I need a balance. I need more masculine energy, i've come to realize this is not only in one's appearance, you could physically be very masculine looking but your actions, mannerisms, behavior do not match your exterior. I learned the hard way and was disappointed :perplexed.
 
I am the Builder/Negotiator.

I'm really more attracted to a guy that is rough around the edges(maybe a little thug in him) but also smart. The one thats not scared to get their hands dirty but yet can be a man and make me feel protected and is strong. (guys i think of would be maybe Wale and Raheem Devaughn types)
 
bluediamond0829 said:
I am the Builder/Negotiator.

I'm really more attracted to a guy that is rough around the edges(maybe a little thug in him) but also smart. The one thats not scared to get their hands dirty but yet can be a man and make me feel protected and is strong. (guys i think of would be maybe Wale and Raheem Devaughn types)
Click to expand...

Same here.. I need a dude w/ some use. My ex was extremely masculine looking on the outside, but that ninja can't fix shyt, wines and cries, is overly dramatic... total opposite of what his appearance gives off! What I did like about him is that he was sharp and attentive. But looking back in hindsight, I think I'd be more compatible w/ someone that has more of a masculine edge to them. Be able to fix basic things, protective of me, not passive aggressive or afraid to say what he wants. Someone w/ an aire of confidence to them. These are the things I need in addition to all of the major requirements that will make us compatible. Attraction is just as much as important as compatibility in other ways. Ex, someone w/ values, morals, financially stable, marriage minded, honest, good father, etc.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

LivingDoll
I Have a "THING" For Barbers...
2
Replies
44
Views
645
LivingDoll
LivingDoll
L
Attractive but not your Type
2
Replies
31
Views
641
babyu21
babyu21
isawstars
Is it true...
Replies
16
Views
367
kjeneen
kjeneen
Theo
Could I Be Under A Spell?
Replies
9
Views
308
Nefertiti0906
N
SvelteVelvet
Is there a type of man...
Replies
14
Views
320
EccentricRed
EccentricRed
Back
Top