8th BIG CHOP in 2 years!! I'm FURIOUS! (kinda long)

[BeatriceFly]

Hello everyone,

Its been years since I have posted. YEARS. (And looking back my hair is the same length now as it was then smh)

Anyways I am still relaxed. I have a very coarse dry tangly texture by nature. I work so hard and I am through because I am still getting nowhere!

For the 8th time, I have had to cut my hair to neck length. The middle of my hair and nape of my hair is soooo coarse and dry and has no elasticity. Everywhere else grows so long and healthy no matter what I do to it. And the middle and nape is always broken off and I end up having to even it all out.

I have tried the following (at different times):

-relaxing that area last or every other month
-changed my pillow cases to silk
-cowashes
-roux corrective conditioner
-moisturize and seal that area daily
-raw coconut oil in that area
-just finally incorporated aphogee keratin reconstructor in my regimen before relaxing (started this 2 relaxers ago)


I have NOT found a solution


I relax every 6 weeks with Mizani Butter Blends Relaxer (stretching DOES NOT WORK FOR ME....my nape pops/breaks horribly no matter how much I keep it moisturized and baby it)
For deep conditioning, I use aubrey organics honey suckle rose mostly and I also use alter ego garlic conditioner or aubrey organics GPB
I daily moisturize with neutrogena silk touch (kind of stopped that) and seal with coconut oil
I wash weekly and deep condition as well
I alternate wrapping directions every night ( I feel like I initially lost my nape hair when I stopped wrapping and it was getting matted under my scarf)

I don't know what else there is left to do but to shave my head

PLEASE HELP!

 

[virtuenow]

I had a similar section in the back left side of my hair that would always break off. I stretched super long, med, short; co washed, protein, DC'd, protective styled, switched relaxers, went under the care of a skilled beautician; did everything possible. The section would break off randomly (along w/other sections) right after a relaxer. It was almost as if the relaxer was melting my hair off. I had to keep cutting my hair back to neckish length every year or every other year to even it out. I am one of few people that a stylist actually insisted I go natural. Anyway, I ignored her until about 2 years later, I still hadn't achieved any length. I had a new stylist-- I just finished a super long 9 month stretch & was ready for her to relax. She wanted to cut my relaxed hair off on the spot after looking at how beautiful my natural hair was next to my relaxed ends. She showed me how strong my natural hair was and how weak the relaxed hair was next to it. I had never considered going natural, but she convinced me it was beautiful & I couldn't deny the strength. I let her chop it on the spot. Some people will never grow hair w/a relaxer... our hair is just not agreeable w/this chemical.

 

[BeatriceFly]

I had a similar section in the back left side of my hair that would always break off. I stretched super long, med, short; co washed, protein, DC'd, protective styled, switched relaxers, went under the care of a skilled beautician; did everything possible. The section would break off randomly (along w/other sections) right after a relaxer. It was almost as if the relaxer was melting my hair off. I had to keep cutting my hair back to neckish length every year or every other year to even it out. I am one of few people that a stylist actually insisted I go natural. Anyway, I ignored her until about 2 years later, I still hadn't achieved any length. I had a new stylist-- I just finished a super long 9 month stretch & was ready for her to relax. She wanted to cut my relaxed hair off on the spot after looking at how beautiful my natural hair was next to my relaxed ends. She showed me how strong my natural hair was and how weak the relaxed hair was next to it. I had never considered going natural, but she convinced me it was beautiful & I couldn't deny the strength. I let her chop it on the spot. Some people will never grow hair w/a relaxer... our hair is just not agreeable w/this chemical.

Hi, thanks for replying! I relaxed at 21 years old. When natural, the same section was always shorter. Even as a child my braids where always shorter in the middle. My mom tried everything in her power to get that section to grow out but was unsuccessful.

 

[virtuenow]

Hi, thanks for replying! I relaxed at 21 years old. When natural, the same section was always shorter. Even as a child my braids where always shorter in the middle. My mom tried everything in her power to get that section to grow out but was unsuccessful.

Believe it or not, I know exactly what you mean. My back (crown) also broke off as a natural. But It broke off in a different way. My relaxed hair would break off to the root in big patches ( i.e. almost the whole back of my head would break off sometimes, but always the left side; and patches throughout). My natural hair broke off short but not that short. I was treating my natural hair like my relaxed hair for years (productwise/regimen) and using heat once a week to get the straight look. When I was relaxed, I wasn't using heat. I found my crown to be a weaker area that needs nurturing-- and my natural hair needs a totally different routine than relaxed hair. I also needed to stop trying to make it mimic my relaxed hair. To that extent, your natural hair is so unique you have to find what it likes. For instance, cheapie conditioners just sit on my hair, make it hard and dry it out. ACV rinses also dry my hair out and so does glycerin. My hair likes daily moisture spritzes and responds really well when I seal it in w/a hair lotion & oil (LOC method). And my hair especially loves regular protein & reconstructor treatments (weekly). I got the Komaza analysis to help me figure my hair out when I couldn't crack the code. You might want to consider it if you've tried everything and its still not working for you.

 

[virtuenow]

Okay, the above post is long. The gist is, you get different kinds of breakage whether you are relaxed or natural. My relaxed hair was receiving chemical breakage. My natural hair was receiving mechanical breakage (from constant heat & rough detangling & no moisture-- b/c I wanted it to stay straight I was rarely moisturizing to avoid reversion). IN other words, you have to pin point where your breakage is coming from. Remove the offending thing; and discover what works for your hair. Or you can get some help, like I did by doing the analysis.

 

[BeatriceFly]

Okay, the above post is long. The gist is, you get different kinds of breakage whether you are relaxed or natural. My relaxed hair was receiving chemical breakage. My natural hair was receiving mechanical breakage (from constant heat & rough detangling & no moisture-- b/c I wanted it to stay straight I was rarely moisturizing to avoid reversion). IN other words, you have to pin point where your breakage is coming from. Remove the offending thing; and discover what works for your hair. Or you can get some help, like I did by doing the analysis.

That's exactly it... I cannot seem to pinpoint it at all.

 

[DoDo]

Hi, thanks for replying! I relaxed at 21 years old. When natural, the same section was always shorter. Even as a child my braids where always shorter in the middle. My mom tried everything in her power to get that section to grow out but was unsuccessful.

Do you have finer strands in that section?

 

[Theresamonet]

EbonyPerez Have you been to a dermatologist to asses whether this is a scalp issue? Since the issue has been pretty much life long, I would look into that.

Also, are you using enough protein? As a relaxed head, that should be right up there with moisturizing.

 

[havilland]

have you tried changing relaxers? i am not sure if the brand may be an issue or not, but for me i had breakage in my crown from certain relaxers because the hair is more fragile there. it's worth considering.

i would try the hair analysis for sure too.

i have to say....i tried everything to get my hair to grow and stay long. the only thing that really worked for me was stopping relaxers and finding products that worked and a regimen that worked.

i had a regimen that worked, products that worked and 4 years of consistent care and babying and whatnot and my hair was still thin on the ends and needed to be chopped have to shoulder length no matter what every year or two since i started my journye...big chop dates from thin ends.....2008, 2010.....finally in 2011 i started to long term transition. i was tired of cutting my progress off. i was married to my relaxer but we had to get a divorce.

 

[faithVA]

I have a similar spot in the back of my head. It is right in the middle. The hair to the left and right is fine. But the hair in the center feels flimsy. It feels to be half the size of other strands and seems to be a breeding ground for split ends. But is also feels smooth and silky.

I definitely think you need to be more consistent with your protein. When I was relaxed, the only thing that helped that area grow was to keep my back in an updo like a french roll. Or to keep my styles simple like a wrap where it was kept straight but rarely combed.

 

[almond eyes]

Are you sure after your relaxer you are neutralising properly. Sometimes you may think you or your hairdresser are but in reality traces of the relaxer still remain enough to cause breakage. I used to get that type of breakage all the time when I realised that I was culprit, my hair was not neutralised properly and I was combing my hair when wet. And also on the issue of stretching I find that the problem is the technique, when I used to try and smooth with my hands a little past the roots, the tension was too much for my fine strands to handle. Now, I use a relaxer brush to smooth only stick to my roots and do not go for that bone straight look.

You may have to skip relaxing your nape for a while. There is nothing that says in stone that your entire hair has to be relaxed every touch up. I have a god sister who has inflammation of the scalp and it affects her crown, this inflammation has been caused by an infection. When she gets her hair relaxed her hair dresser does not touch the crown.

Stop co washing it causes a lot of build up in some women. I used to be in love with co washes but I have stopped for one year now.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Saludable84]

Have you tried opening the cuticles prior to conditioning and seeing if maybe that is the issue. Your products sound pretty ok, so something has to work. If it isn't, your hair may be too tight.

You could change relaxers too and make sure Lu are neutralizing well.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[BeatriceFly]

Do you have finer strands in that section?

the strands do seem finer but i dont think it grows from my scalp that way

 

[BeatriceFly]

Believe it or not, I know exactly what you mean. My back (crown) also broke off as a natural. But It broke off in a different way. My relaxed hair would break off to the root in big patches ( i.e. almost the whole back of my head would break off sometimes, but always the left side; and patches throughout). My natural hair broke off short but not that short. I was treating my natural hair like my relaxed hair for years (productwise/regimen) and using heat once a week to get the straight look. When I was relaxed, I wasn't using heat. I found my crown to be a weaker area that needs nurturing-- and my natural hair needs a totally different routine than relaxed hair. I also needed to stop trying to make it mimic my relaxed hair. To that extent, your natural hair is so unique you have to find what it likes. For instance, cheapie conditioners just sit on my hair, make it hard and dry it out. ACV rinses also dry my hair out and so does glycerin. My hair likes daily moisture spritzes and responds really well when I seal it in w/a hair lotion & oil (LOC method). And my hair especially loves regular protein & reconstructor treatments (weekly). I got the Komaza analysis to help me figure my hair out when I couldn't crack the code. You might want to consider it if you've tried everything and its still not working for you.

i might have to get that analysis because i am too through

 

[BeatriceFly]

EbonyPerez Have you been to a dermatologist to asses whether this is a scalp issue? Since the issue has been pretty much life long, I would look into that.

Also, are you using enough protein? As a relaxed head, that should be right up there with moisturizing.

I just started doing protein treatments 2 relaxers ago so I haven't given up on this yet...that might be it

 

[BeatriceFly]

Have you tried opening the cuticles prior to conditioning and seeing if maybe that is the issue. Your products sound pretty ok, so something has to work. If it isn't, your hair may be too tight.

You could change relaxers too and make sure Lu are neutralizing well.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

how do you open your cuticles?

 

[ezina]

I know some women who braid/cornrow their nape or other difficult places in order to grow it out. Do you think braiding your problem section and then covering it over with the rest of your hair is a feasible option for you?

 

[Stormy]

Okay, the above post is long. The gist is, you get different kinds of breakage whether you are relaxed or natural. My relaxed hair was receiving chemical breakage. My natural hair was receiving mechanical breakage (from constant heat & rough detangling & no moisture-- b/c I wanted it to stay straight I was rarely moisturizing to avoid reversion). IN other words, you have to pin point where your breakage is coming from. Remove the offending thing; and discover what works for your hair. Or you can get some help, like I did by doing the analysis.

OMG! I thought I was the only one. OP, virtuenow is so right about different kinds of breakage. When I was relaxed my crown and nape were my weakest areas. There were times when my crown broke off to the root and other times it was bald! Now, that Alopecia just happened a couple of times. Braiding for a few months, moisturizing and stretching my relaxers made it grow back nicely. As a natural my hair thrives in those areas. My crown is as long as the rest of my hair and my nape for the first time is shoulder length!

@virtuenow girrrrl I experienced the damage from constant heat on the left side in the back of my hair! I'm babying it now, using less heat, less manipulation and the leave-in conditioner Say Yes to Carrots. I plan to add my Aphogee reconstructor next since that has worked well for me in the past.

 

[DoDo]

I just started doing protein treatments 2 relaxers ago so I haven't given up on this yet...that might be it

You may want to protein your finer areas more often than the rest of your head. Those sections may need light protein treatments 1-2x a week while the rest of your hair only needs protein treatments once ever 1-2 weeks.

I have heard of ladies with finer textures on their heads having a separate way of handling their finer section. This tends to mean very low manipulation, very gentle handling and frequent oiling of that section while twisted or braided to keep the ends lubricated. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful.

 

[Saludable84]

how do you open your cuticles?

Maybe trying a higher pH shampoo or mixture like baking soda to open the cuticles. I had bad crown breakage (have had it all my life) and the only things that combat it is using something that will open my cuticles enough then using heat for every conditioning session. I also try my best to make sure my DC have silk or keratin in them and if not, just slip factors.

It just seems to me your hair is really tight. Also, wash with a higher water temperature (mine is warmer to a little hot) and that can open the cuticle then rinse with warm to cool water (but not cold water). Last, stop using the roux for a while.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[BeatriceFly]

I know some women who braid/cornrow their nape or other difficult places in order to grow it out. Do you think braiding your problem section and then covering it over with the rest of your hair is a feasible option for you?

Yes I did this too but id have to braid the whole middle section as well and that would be hard to cover up during the day

 

[BeatriceFly]

You may want to protein your finer areas more often than the rest of your head. Those sections may need light protein treatments 1-2x a week while the rest of your hair only needs protein treatments once ever 1-2 weeks.

I have heard of ladies with finer textures on their heads having a separate way of handling their finer section. This tends to mean very low manipulation, very gentle handling and frequent oiling of that section while twisted or braided to keep the ends lubricated. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful.

I'm going to try this!!

 

[havilland]

You may want to protein your finer areas more often than the rest of your head. Those sections may need light protein treatments 1-2x a week while the rest of your hair only needs protein treatments once ever 1-2 weeks.

I have heard of ladies with finer textures on their heads having a separate way of handling their finer section. This tends to mean very low manipulation, very gentle handling and frequent oiling of that section while twisted or braided to keep the ends lubricated. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful.

true! my crown is wiry and tangly....i moisturize and seal and oil this area more than the rest of my head

 

[crazytrish75]

I have suffered from this problem for years on the back middle of my hair from crown to nape. What finally turned it around for me was I parted my hair to exclude this middle section then I saturated it with my leave-in conditioner, sealed it heavily with coconut oil and braided it straight down the middle, tucking the ends under. Then I either French braid OVER TOP of the middle braid, bun or French twist. It covers it up perfectly and I was able to just leave that section alone, m&s'ing every day.

I used to use NTM leave in (which I like) but now I just mix 1/2 nexus humectruss and 1/2 trader joe's nourish spa with enough distilled water to thin it out some and put it in a empty pump bottle ($2.00 at Sally's). I felt I needed something heavier to leave in.

I am relaxed and brushing BSL. Hth!!! Also, stay on top of those protein treatments! I do Sally's GVP of joico k-pack every week and nexxus Emergencee every 6-8 weeks.

 

[BeatriceFly]

Maybe trying a higher pH shampoo or mixture like baking soda to open the cuticles. I had bad crown breakage (have had it all my life) and the only things that combat it is using something that will open my cuticles enough then using heat for every conditioning session. I also try my best to make sure my DC have silk or keratin in them and if not, just slip factors.

It just seems to me your hair is really tight. Also, wash with a higher water temperature (mine is warmer to a little hot) and that can open the cuticle then rinse with warm to cool water (but not cold water). Last, stop using the roux for a while.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

Yes I feel that section is very tight too! What's the rationale behind stopping the roux?

 

[BeatriceFly]

I have suffered from this problem for years on the back middle of my hair from crown to nape. What finally turned it around for me was I parted my hair to exclude this middle section then I saturated it with my leave-in conditioner, sealed it heavily with coconut oil and braided it straight down the middle, tucking the ends under. Then I either French braid OVER TOP of the middle braid, bun or French twist. It covers it up perfectly and I was able to just leave that section alone, m&s'ing every day.

I used to use NTM leave in (which I like) but now I just mix 1/2 nexus humectruss and 1/2 trader joe's nourish spa with enough distilled water to thin it out some and put it in a empty pump bottle ($2.00 at Sally's). I felt I needed something heavier to leave in.

I am relaxed and brushing BSL. Hth!!! Also, stay on top of those protein treatments! I do Sally's GVP of joico k-pack every week and nexxus Emergencee every 6-8 weeks.

I may have to do this technique

 

[almond eyes]

the strands do seem finer but i dont think it grows from my scalp that way

Fine strands can be deceptive. Roots thicker but hair thinner.

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

When I was relaxed, my hair used to break off at the nape area constantly. Wasn't until I went natural that I realized that area is a finer, looser texture, and thus couldn't handle the relaxer strength that the rest of my hair could....

 

[NubianPrize]

If I were you I'd stop relaxing. I quit curly perms in 2009 after I started getting nape breakage. I'd had the perms for 28 yrs. After big chop I had to deal with scab hair for about 1-2 years til the texture went back to normal but I wound up having to see a derm last year about the nape . That helped some but an essential oil mix & Super Potent JBCO were better . Try using S Curl to moisturize your nape area. I used to use it on my afro & curly perm years ago but started up again after hearing that many naturals love to use it as leave in & moisturizer. Also try Qhemet Biologics , JBCO or Wild Growth oil.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[lana]

I'm natural now, but I'm not against relaxers (I used to texlax). The relaxer that worked for me was a lye relaxer. Make sure you're using lye and not "no-lye" if you're trying to grow your hair longer. Lye relaxers ARE harsher on the scalp - which is why I only texlaxed (leave the relaxer on for a shorter amount of time on purpose). Lye relaxers are better on the hair strands and you'll find that your hair is stronger and holds moisture better.

The only other thing that helped me reach my hair goals was stretching relaxers, no heat and low to no manipulation. I wore buns and up hair styles.

Now that I'm natural, I still wear buns, twist outs, no heat for months on end and my hair is really doing great. I hope this helps you or someone else. I use Keracare products and Perfect Results Deep Conditioner. I swear by Mane & Tail conditioner as my cheap leave in or rinse out.