4b's rejoice!! Now you TOO can get curl definition like the rest!! YAY!

[softblackcotton]

Please folks saying that she is not a 4b because her curls came out pretty. THEY ARE PREJUDICE JUST LIKE HER! They believe that no pretty curls can ever come from a 4b head. Why is it so hard to believe that curl definition can happen on 4b hair albeit a few more hours work?! Those are the same types of people who make 4b people feel horrible about our hair! So much prejudice on this hair board!

 

[CocoGlow]

Please folks saying that she is not a 4b because her curls came out pretty. THEY ARE PREJUDICE JUST LIKE HER! They believe that no pretty curls can ever come from a 4b head. Why is it so hard to believe that curl definition can happen on 4b hair albeit a few more hours work?! Those are the same types of people who make 4b people feel horrible about our hair! So much prejudice on this hair board! I am going to watch her and try her method because I would die for a defined curl pattern!

Really?

Sis you don't have to DIE for a defined curl pattern -- just do a twist-out and call it day!

There is nothing wrong w/ wanting a curly/coily style ... that is what braid-outs, twist-outs, bantu knot-outs coil-outs, straw sets, etc are for ... you can achieve all the definition you want and b/c your hair is 4B textured, the look will last & last!

SHE is trying to do all the things the 3abc girls are doing and clearly resenting her own texture for not revealing clumped curls from a simple wash n go (listen to what she says in the vid) so she goes through this long shingling ritual ...Most 4Bs w/ dense hair do not see the need for going through all of that to clump our tiny coils ... we know that a simple wash n go + some gel will not produce clumped coils so we don't bother to go about it that way.... but to each her own

How does stating the obvious (4B coils do not naturally form a clumped/defined look) make one feel horrible about 4B hair? How is this prejudiced? I actually have 4B hair so I know what it can & cannot do ... Just b/c the coils do not clump does not make my texture less fabulous than another ....

Why is curl/coil definition put on such a high pedestal? Why will sooo many 4Bs DIE for it? erplexed

By the way ... I/WE are more upset with her ATTITUDE about her own hair than the style/technique/results ... it's very cute on her

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

THis is like the 5th time that video has been posted here, I still the sorry for her. Anyway I love my kinky, kinky, bushy, cottony hair so whatever miss curls that everyone compliments.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

whatever... I really don't care what my hair looks like as long as it doesn't break off. Everyone talks about me (especially my mama), but my hair doesn't break off like it did when I looked "Cute". haha So I mean one day when I care I will spend 3 hours looking cute. But for the daily... its a wash and go with some gel slathered on and whatever way it dries is the way it dries. So for the sections of my hair that don't have they defined curl pattern, they just have to make the best of their life, cuz I don't have the patience.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I don't see what the big deal is. Really I don't. Seems to me that she's frustrated with the limitations of her hair. Perhaps she'd rather be a coily 4a than a 4b. I wouldn't compare her mindset to that of a lot of relaxed black women. Not even close. I guess as a natural, we're supposed to accept every single thing about our hair texture. We're still women, and as women, there are some things about ourselves we'd like to tweak just a little. A natural woman who wishes she could do a coily wash and go (which is not considered an acceptable hairstyle by the mainstream) is still different from a woman who relaxes because she wants to fit into what the mainstream considers acceptable.

 

[Aireen]

Well she got her curls but I think her hair looks dirty... Not worth it for some curls. -.-

 

[softblackcotton]

Really?

Sis you don't have to DIE for a defined curl pattern -- just do a twist-out and call it day!

There is nothing wrong w/ wanting a curly/coily style ... that is what braid-outs, twist-outs, bantu knot-outs coil-outs, straw sets, etc are for ... you can achieve all the definition you want and b/c your hair is 4B textured, the look will last & last!

SHE is trying to do all the things the 3abc girls are doing and clearly resenting her own texture for not revealing clumped curls from a simple wash n go (listen to what she says in the vid) so she goes through this long shingling ritual ...Most 4Bs w/ dense hair do not see the need for going through all of that to clump our tiny coils ... we know that a simple wash n go + some gel will not produce clumped coils so we don't bother to go about it that way.... but to each her own

How does stating the obvious (4B coils do not naturally form a clumped/defined look) make one feel horrible about 4B hair? How is this prejudiced? I actually have 4B hair so I know what it can & cannot do ... Just b/c the coils do not clump does not make my texture less fabulous than another ....

Why is curl/coil definition put on such a high pedestal? Why will sooo many 4Bs DIE for it? erplexed

By the way ... I/WE are more upset with her ATTITUDE about her own hair than the style/technique/results ... it's very cute on her

I will not literally die for coils. I just feel that most people on this board do feel that it's the "worst" hair, management-wise, rentention-wise, and curl pattern-wise. When they see any example that proves them wrong they are so quick to say that is not 4b. 4b hair doesn't have a curl pattern, 4b zig zags (wtf I never seen no zigs or zags in my hair), 4b this, 4b that I mean come on why can't we try things we want if there is a certain look we are going for? Maybe some of us are willing to put in a little time and effort to get a certain look on our hair. Why must we all except someone's "theory" that 4b has no curl definiton? I have 4b hair and it most definitely has curl definition which only became apparent years after I stopped trying to fight my hair to straight with chemicals and blazing heat to avoid criticism for my natural hair texture.

4b hair is the most disliked and criticized hair texture of them all off-line and on-line. I know people who relaxed all their lives who are now transitioning. They are either relieved when they find out they find out they do not have 4b hair or they are disappointed when they find that they do. There are just not enough examples of people displaying love of 4b hair in the off-line world or any hair board. There is definitely still a derth of completely natural 4b examples to look up to compared to all the other hair types who actually post pictures of progress/growth, have youtube channels, fotkis, and hair blogs. Many of the 4b's on this board and in off-line life heat straigten their hair, texlax, or relax. Why do you think that is?

I believe all because 4bs still get the most backlash from the relaxed AND natural community toward the texture and behavior of our hair. I don't blame the woman in the video for feeling the way she does. Maybe she did once try to wear her hair in it's natural wash-n-go state and people criticized her. I know that from experience. People are prejudice against 4b hair, because the majority still view 4b/c as the quintessential "bad" hair type.

 

[SND411]

I will not literally die for coils. I just feel that most people on this board do feel that it's the "worst" hair, management-wise, rentention-wise, and curl pattern-wise. When they see any example that proves them wrong they are so quick to say that is not 4b. 4b hair doesn't have a curl pattern, 4b zig zags (wtf I never seen no zigs or zags in my hair), 4b this, 4b that I mean come on why can't we try things we want if there is a certain look we are going for? Maybe some of us are willing to put in a little time and effort to get a certain look on our hair. Why must we all except someone's "theory" that 4b has no curl definiton? I have 4b hair and it most definitely has curl definition which only became apparent years after I stopped trying to fight my hair to straight with chemicals and blazing heat to avoid criticism for my natural hair texture.

4b hair is the most disliked and criticized hair texture of them all off-line and on-line. I know people who relaxed all their lives who are now transitioning. They are either relieved when they find out they find out they do not have 4b hair or they are disappointed when they find that they do. There are just not enough examples of people displaying love of 4b hair in the off-line world or any hair board. There is definitely still a derth of completely natural 4b examples to look up to compared to all the other hair types who actually post pictures of progress/growth, have youtube channels, fotkis, and hair blogs. Many of the 4b's on this board and in off-line life heat straigten their hair, texlax, or relax. Why do you think that is?

I believe all because 4bs still get the most backlash from the relaxed AND natural community toward the texture and behavior of our hair. I don't blame the woman in the video for feeling the way she does. Maybe she did once try to wear her hair in it's natural wash-n-go state and people criticized her. I know that from experience. People are prejudice against 4b hair, because the majority still view 4b/c as the quintessential "bad" hair type.

Look up RusticBeauty on Youtube. She has some of the largest following on Youtube in regards to natural hair and she is 4b.

 

[AmyRose92]

I don't see what the big deal is. Really I don't. Seems to me that she's frustrated with the limitations of her hair. Perhaps she'd rather be a coily 4a than a 4b. I wouldn't compare her mindset to that of a lot of relaxed black women. Not even close. I guess as a natural, we're supposed to accept every single thing about our hair texture. We're still women, and as women, there are some things about ourselves we'd like to tweak just a little. A natural woman who wishes she could do a coily wash and go (which is not considered an acceptable hairstyle by the mainstream) is still different from a woman who relaxes because she wants to fit into what the mainstream considers acceptable.

I think there's a difference between wanting to tweek her hair and self-hate. Yes, we're all imperfect and there are some things that we just don't like about our body. But you have to draw the line where you going to go through painfully time-consuming methods just to achieve something that you don't have. To me, she does fit into that category of relaxed women who don't even want to imagine what their true texture/curl-pattern will look like because they equate nappy/kinky to unattractiveness. The way she describes her 4B hair like a "bush", "cottony", "rough", etc. and with such discontent is a clear indication that she really doesn't like her hair type. I wish I could do a WNG like silky 4As and 3Cs too but I've come to accept that my coarse 4-something hair just won't do that. So instead of lamenting over that and trying to get away from my texture, I embrace it. It's unfortunate that she can't seem to embrace her hair for what it is, much less try to at least come to terms with what God has given her.

 

[Solitude]

I don't see what the big deal is. Really I don't. Seems to me that she's frustrated with the limitations of her hair. Perhaps she'd rather be a coily 4a than a 4b. I wouldn't compare her mindset to that of a lot of relaxed black women. Not even close. I guess as a natural, we're supposed to accept every single thing about our hair texture. We're still women, and as women, there are some things about ourselves we'd like to tweak just a little. A natural woman who wishes she could do a coily wash and go (which is not considered an acceptable hairstyle by the mainstream) is still different from a woman who relaxes because she wants to fit into what the mainstream considers acceptable.

Well, my hair is relaxed and I go for long stretches between relaxers. When I wear a wet bun at 6 months post or do a braid-out, people think my hair is natural, anyway. I could easily transition - self-hate/ concern for "society" isn't stopping me from doing so. It's personal choice. When I read this threads with naturals bashing other naturals, it makes me remember that I should do what makes ME happy because, clearly, people are going to criticize you either way.

ETA: I've read all the threads about this woman and I just lol to myself and smh at all the judgment.

 

[aa9746]

The curls do look cute, but I don't see myself brushing through my hair like that every week. I wonder if the same look can be achieved without brushing?

 

[Lexib]

I don't get what the problem here is either.erplexed Why assume this woman has ''self hate'' simply because she chooses to go through what YOU (everyone who's criticizing her) feels is ''too much'' work??? What about naturals or people like myself who are on extremely long stretches, who need to spend 2 or more hours with their Maxiglides and Sedus to get their hair straight? Or people who endure the scorching heat of Dominican blowouts to get that ''swang'' in their hair?? Or who spend 5+ hours at the African salon getting braids put in? All of this could come across as a little extra to some people too, but it'd be the silliest thing in the world to accuse people who do these things of hating themselves or their hair just because they opt to take the steps necessary to get a style they feel is more convenient, manageable or flattering.

The end result looks great and if she thinks it's worth the effort more power to her.

 

[Kay.Dee]

I'm not saying she isn't a 4b because her curls are "beautiful". No need to accuse anyone of that.

I'm saying it because:
I have a majority of 4b hair, I don't think I can have get curls that size. They aren't even that big when my hair is soaking wet!

When I see other people who identify as 4b they are more similar to Mwedzi, Nonie and JustKiya

She has issues either way, and she does look slightly touched. 4 hours is entirely too long for that mess!

 

[Simply_elle]

I totally understand how everyone sees her self-hate undertones.... EVERY Video is dedicated to a "get your cottony fro' into a beautiful 3abc-ish glossy state tut" No pretty twistouts, no super puffs, nothing but.... I think she probably idolizes the hair on her DD in the back. This breaks my heart... And yes I feel going natural is about embracing it all... and not make a dozen YT videos about how to make it do something ELSE

 

[CocoGlow]

I will not literally die for coils. I just feel that most people on this board do feel that it's the "worst" hair, management-wise, rentention-wise, and curl pattern-wise. When they see any example that proves them wrong they are so quick to say that is not 4b. 4b hair doesn't have a curl pattern, 4b zig zags (wtf I never seen no zigs or zags in my hair), 4b this, 4b that I mean come on why can't we try things we want if there is a certain look we are going for? Maybe some of us are willing to put in a little time and effort to get a certain look on our hair. Why must we all except someone's "theory" that 4b has no curl definiton? I have 4b hair and it most definitely has curl definition which only became apparent years after I stopped trying to fight my hair to straight with chemicals and blazing heat to avoid criticism for my natural hair texture.

4b hair is the most disliked and criticized hair texture of them all off-line and on-line. I know people who relaxed all their lives who are now transitioning. They are either relieved when they find out they find out they do not have 4b hair or they are disappointed when they find that they do. There are just not enough examples of people displaying love of 4b hair in the off-line world or any hair board. There is definitely still a derth of completely natural 4b examples to look up to compared to all the other hair types who actually post pictures of progress/growth, have youtube channels, fotkis, and hair blogs. Many of the 4b's on this board and in off-line life heat straigten their hair, texlax, or relax. Why do you think that is?

I believe all because 4bs still get the most backlash from the relaxed AND natural community toward the texture and behavior of our hair. I don't blame the woman in the video for feeling the way she does. Maybe she did once try to wear her hair in it's natural wash-n-go state and people criticized her. I know that from experience. People are prejudice against 4b hair, because the majority still view 4b/c as the quintessential "bad" hair type.

I agree with just about everything you are saying ... yes I've stated in many threads that 4B is the most hated texture amongst Black people, both natural & relaxed and yes 4Bs need more exposure in the on-line community

My whole issue w/ this sister is her attitude about her hair and what she's willing to do to make it replicate type 3 hair. Maybe due to the lack of vids on YouTube of 4B hair and the plethora of vids showcasing type 3 hair and even her surroundings (seems like her children are type 3), she resents the fact that she can't manipulate her hair the way they do

She even states in the vid that those w/ 4B hair "only wear braids or extensions" (seriously!!) and she has now discovered something to "do" with this hair. Obviously she is unaware of the countless styles that can be done on 4B hair! She's busy watching the wash n go / shingling vids of those w/ type 3 hair and trying to attempt the same look...only to her horror.... it takes her 4 hours of brushing .... when like she states over & over it only takes "them" 15 minutes or so.

And sis, you don't have to PROVE 4Bs have a curl pattern to prove that it is pretty or drool worthy. Yes there is a curl pattern but it's not clumped or defined ... so what?!!! That's what makes our hair UNIQUE! How many people secretly crave our gravity defying clouds (fros/puffs)?!!! And no there is nothing wrong with doing styles that show off definition - have you noticed that the definition from twist-outs/braid-outs are amazingly beautiful and long lasting on 4B hair?!

Why can't we embrace the unique attributes of 4B hair instead of trying to compare it to type 3 hair and slapping globs of gel onto any tiny coil we see and spending countless hours trying to define hair that obviously wants to resist all that brushing & clumping anyway?

I feel your frustration sis but why not use that energy to explore styles/techniques that show off the virtues of OUR hair instead of striving after the wash n go w/ shiny coils popping all over the place?!!

 

[CocoGlow]

I don't get what the problem here is either.erplexed Why assume this woman has ''self hate'' simply because she chooses to go through what YOU (everyone who's criticizing her) feels is ''too much'' work??? What about naturals or people like myself who are on extremely long stretches, who need to spend 2 or more hours with their Maxiglides and Sedus to get their hair straight? Or people who endure the scorching heat of Dominican blowouts to get that ''swang'' in their hair?? Or who spend 5+ hours at the African salon getting braids put in? All of this could come across as a little extra to some people too, but it'd be the silliest thing in the world to accuse people who do these things of hating themselves or their hair just because they opt to take the steps necessary to get a style they feel is more convenient, manageable or flattering.

The end result looks great and if she thinks it's worth the effort more power to her.

As stated before it's more about her attitude and the self-hating comments about her own hair and how she obviously wishes it was "easy" like type 3 hair than her technique per se ... however, I personally would not be brushing my hair w/ globs of gel for 4 hours ... that's just not for me

 

[AmyRose92]

I don't get what the problem here is either.erplexed Why assume this woman has ''self hate'' simply because she chooses to go through what YOU (everyone who's criticizing her) feels is ''too much'' work??? What about naturals or people like myself who are on extremely long stretches, who need to spend 2 or more hours with their Maxiglides and Sedus to get their hair straight? Or people who endure the scorching heat of Dominican blowouts to get that ''swang'' in their hair?? Or who spend 5+ hours at the African salon getting braids put in? All of this could come across as a little extra to some people too, but it'd be the silliest thing in the world to accuse people who do these things of hating themselves or their hair just because they opt to take the steps necessary to get a style they feel is more convenient, manageable or flattering.

The end result looks great and if she thinks it's worth the effort more power to her.

I think the end result looks lovely too. Personally, I'm not bashing the hair style and I don't think the OP had in mind to specifically call the lady out for the amount of time she spent doing her hair. It all comes down to one big question: WHY? Why does she spend 3 hours constantly manipulating her hair to achieve a cute style? I think most naturals would agree that they spend more than an hour to achieve certain styles such as twists, braids, etc. Even wash days might take hours on end. But the real reason why she's getting criticized is the reason behind her style. Versatility? Wanting to try something new? Or is there a deeper, social issue? In her case, I'd have to go with the last question. She spends hours trying to achieve that style because she can't handle the fact that her hair is a "4B, cottony, rough, unmanageable bush." I honestly feel like she's running away from her true texture instead of accepting it as it is. She spends the majority of her video just pulling at the results, saying how cute they look and how horrible her hair was in its un-manipulated state. I don't think she'd be criticized for achieving this look for versatility. If she replaced the amount of time she spent complaining about how 4B hair is so unmanageable and just a MISTAKE to her to say HOW she achieved the look (including the process), maybe she wouldn't be criticized. Spending hours to live in a state of denial for a week? Then repeating the process week after week? There's something wrong with how she perceives her hair. My question is: Why doesn't she just texlax and get those 3A/B/C curls she's inadvertently BEGGING for?

Edit: I have to say, personally, when I first BCed (a month ago), somewhere in the back of my mind, I was praying that I had at MOST 4a hair. There was always a lingering thought that said, "4B hair is the worst! I don't want that!" About a week ago, I put my hair in a puff for the first time and I got all kinds of reactions, ranging from "WHAT!? Why'd you do that to your hair!?" to "It looks so CUTE!" But one comment that struck me the most was a girl who asked me if I'm going to put a texturizer while she looked at my hair as if saying "Man, I would NOT want to deal with that nappy hair!" I just shook my head and said "Nope, not at all." I love my hair for its thickness and its durability. It says "I am strong, and I have endurance." When I find my hair type (either 4A or 4B), I know I'll love it for what it is, regardless.

 

[DigitalRain]

4b hair is the most disliked and criticized hair texture of them all off-line and on-line. I know people who relaxed all their lives who are now transitioning. They are either relieved when they find out they find out they do not have 4b hair or they are disappointed when they find that they do.

I know SOMEBODY is going to have a issue with what Im about to say but oh well

I think this quite evident when a 3a/b lady posts her natural hair pics and gets 500 thanks and 200+ comments.

When 4b posts a pic, well lets just say the amount of responses just doesn't compare, unless its super long. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed this.

 

[CocoGlow]

I know SOMEBODY is going to have a issue with what Im about to say but oh well

I think this quite evident when a 3a/b lady posts her natural hair pics and gets 500 thanks and 200+ comments.

When 4b posts a pic, well lets just say the amount of responses just doesn't compare, unless its super long. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed this.

Def not the only one who noticed this trend!

 

[AfroKink]

How many people secretly crave our gravity defying clouds (fros/puffs)?!!! And no there is nothing wrong with doing styles that show off definition - have you noticed that the definition from twist-outs/braid-outs are amazingly beautiful and long lasting on 4B hair?!

Girl, I don't even own holding gel. It takes maybe 30 mins in twists for my hair to be ready for a twist out. You won't see me posting in the "how do I get a defined twists out" and "how do you get your twist out to last for a second day" threads. And speaking of The Afro, mine hopes to make an appearance in the next couple of weeks!

 

[Miss_C]

I don't understand why everyone is criticizing this woman so roughly. The fact of the matter is, as embarrasing or hurtful as it might be to some to admit, 4b/c/z is widely disregarded as fuzzy, unattractive, unmanageable, by naturals, relaxed heads, everyone. It seems to me that she wanted to do the "right" thing by going natural and making her hair healthier and longer, but she's getting negative reactions from it. I've experienced the some of the same things. A guy called me a "nappy headed b****" the other day. He would NOT have said that to a 3 anything. It's hurtful. You want to do the best thing for you, but no one will let you be. I'm not mad at her for saying her hair is coarse, rough, dry, etc. It probably is. I think a lot of 4bs have experienced the same internal feelings. It's part of the journey. People don't just come off automatically saying "I got this coarse hair that's so different from my relaxed hair and I'm just so estactic about it and okay with it!" Where they do that at? Magical hair fairy land? It takes time, practice, and extreme amounts of patience to come to love your hair in its natural state, and even once you love it, everyone might still say it's ugly! So she spends hours manipulating it so it looks 'prettier'. So what! Don't some spend hours blowdrying and flatironing? Don't all hair types spend hours getting weaves? People can say whatever they want about protective styling, but weaves are a way to get another texture to play with if you want to. And all those styles last at least a week! Is that wrong too?
Face it, blk women spend hours on our hair. Let this woman be.
Also, for those of you who are so down on this woman for how she feels about her hair, I'm sincerely glad you've never felt the sting of internal negativity about anything regarding your skin tone/texture/color, weight, shape, or any other physical trait. I'm glad you never felt the need to tweak anything about yourself and can feel so bad for others that sometimes have had the unfortunate misfortune of wishing something on them was just a little bit different.

 

[AfroKink]

I know SOMEBODY is going to have a issue with what Im about to say but oh well

I think this quite evident when a 3a/b lady posts her natural hair pics and gets 500 thanks and 200+ comments.

When 4b posts a pic, well lets just say the amount of responses just doesn't compare, unless its super long. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed this.

This week I saw a 3a/b get complimented over her beautiful hair style. I spent a long time looking at this style, but no matter how long I looked, how much I squinted, it was still... A PONYTAIL!

...Yah I guess it was a nice ponytail? but.. uh?

Really though. On this journey you cannot look for external acceptance. If you are a 4-something, especially a 4b the compliments will be rare. You need to be your own cheerleader.

 

[Reinventing21]

I am just wondering if anyone has left the woman a comment saying that she has gorgeous hair and that we are sad that she is bashing it so much. She may not realize how she is coming across nor may she realize how pretty others think her hair is even before she defines her curls.

On a side note her video has 4a/b in its title so maybe her hair is a combination.

ETA: No one may be telling her hair is beautiful. They may be just telling her how beautiful her daughter's hair is.The only time she may get a compliment is after she defines her curls.

 

[Solitude]

I know SOMEBODY is going to have a issue with what Im about to say but oh well

I think this quite evident when a 3a/b lady posts her natural hair pics and gets 500 thanks and 200+ comments.

When 4b posts a pic, well lets just say the amount of responses just doesn't compare, unless its super long. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed this.

Well, I also see a lot of 3's get slack about their hair being called "thin" or "see-through" because it doesn't appear as thick and full as 4b hair. I'm sorry but I've been on this board for 2 years and I don't see a big disparity between the number of compliments between type-3 hair and type-4 hair...

Now, since this is a LONG hair care board, longer-haired users obviously get more compliments/comments. There's like a thousand BC threads, not everybody is going to go into each thread and thank/comment. Are you supposed to automatically get comments because you cut your hair off?

 

[Tiye]

I don't understand why everyone is criticizing this woman so roughly. The fact of the matter is, as embarrasing or hurtful as it might be to some to admit, 4b/c/z is widely disregarded as fuzzy, unattractive, unmanageable, by naturals, relaxed heads, everyone. It seems to me that she wanted to do the "right" thing by going natural and making her hair healthier and longer, but she's getting negative reactions from it. I've experienced the some of the same things. A guy called me a "nappy headed b****" the other day. He would NOT have said that to a 3 anything. It's hurtful. You want to do the best thing for you, but no one will let you be. I'm not mad at her for saying her hair is coarse, rough, dry, etc. It probably is. I think a lot of 4bs have experienced the same internal feelings. It's part of the journey. People don't just come off automatically saying "I got this coarse hair that's so different from my relaxed hair and I'm just so estactic about it and okay with it!" Where they do that at? Magical hair fairy land? It takes time, practice, and extreme amounts of patience to come to love your hair in its natural state, and even once you love it, everyone might still say it's ugly! So she spends hours manipulating it so it looks 'prettier'. So what! Don't some spend hours blowdrying and flatironing? Don't all hair types spend hours getting weaves? People can say whatever they want about protective styling, but weaves are a way to get another texture to play with if you want to. And all those styles last at least a week! Is that wrong too?
Face it, blk women spend hours on our hair. Let this woman be.
Also, for those of you who are so down on this woman for how she feels about her hair, I'm sincerely glad you've never felt the sting of internal negativity about anything regarding your skin tone/texture/color, weight, shape, or any other physical trait. I'm glad you never felt the need to tweak anything about yourself and can feel so bad for others that sometimes have had the unfortunate misfortune of wishing something on them was just a little bit different.

Each one of us have our crosses to carry as they say. I just think it's sad when people choose to make hair into a cross whether they're going out of their way to try and make it curly, or flat ironing it every day - or other because at the end of the day it's just hair. I don't have naturally curly hair and if I ever feel that I want to try on the look I'll get a curly wig - it's not that big of a deal. Life's too short and too hard to be fixating on the formation of the strands that come out of your scalp. I say be happy if you have strands coming out of your scalp and if they're healthy strands - that's an even bigger bonus. I don't think this thread is about the amount of time the YT'er spends on her hair - it could be 4 hours, 40 minutes, or 20 minutes - its the overall negativity that some ppl are commenting. If she learned to think positively about herself - the sky is the limit on what she could accomplish in those same 4 hours.

 

[DigitalRain]

Well, I also see a lot of 3's get slack about their hair being called "thin" or "see-through" because it doesn't appear as thick and full as 4b hair. I'm sorry but I've been on this board for 2 years and I don't see a big disparity between the number of compliments between type-3 hair and type-4 hair...

Now, since this is a LONG hair care board, longer-haired users obviously get more compliments/comments. There's like a thousand BC threads, not everybody is going to go into each thread and thank/comment. Are you supposed to automatically get comments because you cut your hair off?

Ive been here since 2003 and this is what I've noticed. I do think that 4b+ hair is slowly getting props BUT Ive definitely seen the disparity.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

I have friends of all different races and I hear several complaints about different aspects of their hair. I think what makes it different for us (African-Americans), is that not only are we a minority, but afro-textured hair is also the minority of all hair textures. It's the minority socially as well as number of people who have it. So when I personally find an aspect of my hair undesirable, I have to wonder, "Is this just because I'm human and want what I don't have, or is this the self-loathing that sometimes comes along with being a minority?"

Maybe it's both. For me, I feel like I can't just simply complain about my hair like my white friends do, because, not only am I in the process of accepting me for me, I'm in the process of accepting me as an African American woman with afro-textured hair, a minority.

I get angry when I hear people downing their own hair texture and when 4b textured hair is further singled out as an undesirable texture because I feel like it's a setback to the black community.

I really love this forum because it continues to positively change my perception about afro-textured hair. We all may have different reasons for growing our hair out but I feel that the results of healthy black hair care are really changing people's perception of afro-textured hair.

 

[Simply_elle]

I have friends of all different races and I hear several complaints about different aspects of their hair. I think what makes it different for us (African-Americans), is that not only are we a minority, but afro-textured hair is also the minority of all hair textures. It's the minority socially as well as number of people who have it. So when I personally find an aspect of my hair undesirable, I have to wonder, "Is this just because I'm human and want what I don't have, or is this the self-loathing that sometimes comes along with being a minority?"

Maybe it's both. For me, I feel like I can't just simply complain about my hair like my white friends do, because, not only am I in the process of accepting me for me, I'm in the process of accepting me as an African American woman with afro-textured hair, a minority.

I get angry when I hear people downing their own hair texture and when 4b textured hair is further singled out as an undesirable texture because I feel like it's a setback to the black community.

I really love this forum because it continues to positively change my perception about afro-textured hair. We all may have different reasons for growing our hair out but I feel that the results of healthy black hair care are really changing people's perception of afro-textured hair.

Very well said!!!!

Personally I love love me some 4b/4c hair porn i.e. Blackmasterpiece....ect (im a 3b/c) 4 somethings on here with the fro's, twistouts, and fluffy goodness....mmm!!! Lol

 

[Nonie]

I don't understand why everyone is criticizing this woman so roughly. The fact of the matter is, as embarrasing or hurtful as it might be to some to admit, 4b/c/z is widely disregarded as fuzzy, unattractive, unmanageable, by naturals, relaxed heads, everyone. It seems to me that she wanted to do the "right" thing by going natural and making her hair healthier and longer, but she's getting negative reactions from it. I've experienced the some of the same things. A guy called me a "nappy headed b****" the other day. He would NOT have said that to a 3 anything. It's hurtful. You want to do the best thing for you, but no one will let you be. I'm not mad at her for saying her hair is coarse, rough, dry, etc. It probably is. I think a lot of 4bs have experienced the same internal feelings. It's part of the journey. People don't just come off automatically saying "I got this coarse hair that's so different from my relaxed hair and I'm just so estactic about it and okay with it!"Where they do that at? Magical hair fairy land? It takes time, practice, and extreme amounts of patience to come to love your hair in its natural state, and even once you love it, everyone might still say it's ugly! So she spends hours manipulating it so it looks 'prettier'. So what! Don't some spend hours blowdrying and flatironing? Don't all hair types spend hours getting weaves? People can say whatever they want about protective styling, but weaves are a way to get another texture to play with if you want to. And all those styles last at least a week! Is that wrong too?
Face it, blk women spend hours on our hair. Let this woman be.
Also, for those of you who are so down on this woman for how she feels about her hair, I'm sincerely glad you've never felt the sting of internal negativity about anything regarding your skin tone/texture/color, weight, shape, or any other physical trait. I'm glad you never felt the need to tweak anything about yourself and can feel so bad for others that sometimes have had the unfortunate misfortune of wishing something on them was just a little bit different.

I applaud your empathizing with this lady, but I also understand how exhausting it is for people to keep hearing negativity about her natural texture (I personally can't stand to hear negativity repeated ad nauseum about anything!).

I haven't really commented on her videos coz I know this thing is common here in the US, even on the forum, but I wanted to point out that "nappy-headed *****/***" isn't just an insult directed at natural 4B-headed women. When Imus used the insult, none of the girls had natural hair so he couldn't really tell if they were type 3 or 4. As far as he's concerned, black women are "nappy-headed h**". So just coz your hair isn't kinky, doesn't mean you're exempt from hearing the insult hurled at you by some rude a$$ hateful person.

Then I wanted to let you know that many who didn't grow up in a country where natural 4B hair was shunned, eg me, have been A-OK with their natural hair all their lives. I grew up in Kenya and I have never had any issue with my hair texture, nor did I know anyone with an issue. In fact, I only ever learned that there's a texture known as "good hair" and another as "bad hair" when I joined LHCF in 2003 when I was already in my 30s! So that shows you how alien the way of thinking you assume is common to all is to me. All I ever wanted from when I was a kid was long hair, not a different kind of hair. And I do not spend hours on my hair either so I don't even get frustrated with it. So one doesn't have to go to Fairy Land to find people who didn't have to "learn to accept" their hair. There are many of us around, some even who were born or grew up in the USA but who somehow missed the memo that 4B wasn't OK to have. *shrug*

 

[afrikurl]

I don't see what the big hubbub is either. She just saying what most of us are too scared to say. We know what's hairboard PC so we go around it. We say it gives us hang, it clumps our hair. We ask when our hair is going to grow down and not out. We also spend hours putting in twists and braids. We search the globe for something exotic to make our hair feel silky. We don't say nappy, we say thick and unmanageable or tangled. We are dying to know how to stretch our hair and have second and third day hair.

In my opinion it's the same thing. I always thought I had 4b hair that I loved even though I'd been natural most of my life. Honestly I though all non recently-multiracial Blacks did. I came on line started conditioner washing, ripping my hair out with a denman and using gel to define my curls. Now I know there are curls there, they form without all that coersion and I still mostly rock the same styles as before. There is some pressure, whether it be real or percieved to have noticable curls.

I personally don't think 4 hours is too much for one week. I think after washing, deep condtioning, detangling and styling, that sounds about right. Some people pre poo- post poo and put monkey poo on their hair. Let her work out her hair issues on her time. Sometimes I think we start actin all brandnew like we don't understand how the general Black community feels about our hair.