4a/b tired of being rediculed by biracial siblings

[Researching]

My hair is extremely dry and there's no way that I can get all the moisture I need from just deep conditioning.

@Researching, the ONLY thing that's worked to keep my hair moisturized is Silk Dreams Vanilla Silk used as a moisturizer. I've gone THREE days without moisturizing, and my hair is still soft and happy. A miracle. I've NEVER been one of those people who could skip a day of moisturizing. I'd see people say things like "I moisturize every few days," and I'd be like "Couldn't be me. erplexed "

So I'm pretty excited about this. My hair is FINALLY moisturized! Yaaaay!

I've tried everything to moisturize, from AOHSR to Oyin to Qhemet, and NOTHING has done this for my hair.

The second best moisturizer I've tried is Curl Junkie Curl Assurance Lotion sealed with a heavy butter.

Both of these products smell great, and most important of all, WORK great.

Do you do HOTs? How often do you deep condition? Those can also help your hair retain more moisture.

ETA: Vanilla Silk lank
http://www.silkdreamshaircare.com/item_5/Vanilla-Silk-Cream-Moisture-Dream-8oz.16oz..htm

I like that there is no lanolin or mineral oil in the ingredients for the Silk Dreams Vanilla Silk, but it's a little pricey. The reviews on it are tempting though.

 

[tallnomad]

You are a genius! What an excellent idea. Glycerine is the second ingredient in s-curl. Profective is also glycerine based so you ladies are definiately making a valid point. Where can I buy glycerine? Can you give me some examples of fragrant oils and where I can buy them. Thanks

this thread is right on time for me. i bought some glycerine from whole foods and also bought some rosemary essential oil as this is activating. I added aloe vera juice and a hair oil to the glycerine and rosemary and my hair is moisturized for days! You could even try adding rosemary essential oil to the S-curl to see how that goes too.

 

[Researching]

this thread is right on time for me. i bought some glycerine from whole foods and also bought some rosemary essential oil as this is activating. I added aloe vera juice and a hair oil to the glycerine and rosemary and my hair is moisturized for days! You could even try adding rosemary essential oil to the S-curl to see how that goes too.

What does rosemarry smell like?

 

[abcd09]

You know that old adage, if it ain't broke, don't fix it? I wouldn't change from s-curl and profectiv if I were you. It can be very difficult to find products that actually do good and you may have a hard time finding others that smell differently AND work well.

Another poster mentioned masking it with a certain hair-product fragance. Try that and see what happens. It seems like your siblings will tease no matter what and if you add an oil or fragrance to stuff you know works at least you know you will be happy (and your hair)

 

[abcd09]

OP I just realized my post was not attending to the underlying message of your post which was that it hurts you when your sisters and family are insensitive to your differences that come from not being mixed. If you don't mind me asking, how old are they? Are they older, younger? Teenagers, preteens, young adults?

 

[LaidBak]

Better yet, you should get your best moisture from you weekly deep conditioner (whatever you use); and your daily moisturizers should be secondary. To be clear, Your hair should be so moist and soft after deep conditioning that your moisturizer is optional.

I wish, my hair is actually the most dry the first three days after I wash and this also includes cowash days, and I never wash/co wash without deep conditioning. My problem may be that I am sealing with coconut oil and you are saying that coconut oil is not for sealing the hair. That's something to think about. I have castor oil. I put it on my scalp, but have worried about the smell if I were to actually put it on my hair.

As much as I used to love coconut oil, I realized once and for all that it was making my hair crunchy. I switched to grapeseed and immediately noticed the difference.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'm sorry, OP. I have a biracial friend who gets ridiculed by her black sibling. Ignorance is ignorance.

 

[tallnomad]

What does rosemarry smell like?

It doesn't smell like peppermint, but it has that effervescent-like smell. It smells good, not delicious but nice. Sorry I can't be of more help with that, but it has a "natural" or "earthy" quality to it.

 

[Researching]

OP I just realized my post was not attending to the underlying message of your post which was that it hurts you when your sisters and family are insensitive to your differences that come from not being mixed. If you don't mind me asking, how old are they? Are they older, younger? Teenagers, preteens, young adults?

18 and 19. I am 29. I know they are younger so I shouldn't care what they think. I shouldn't be so sensative. They are just really immature. They like to tease me when my hair is not straightened and when I am putting products in my hair, but they also Constantly bug me to wear my hair down. My sister is facinated by my twist outs, braid outs, and fancy buns but doesn't compliment me. It's just not cool to give compliments. She will just keep touching my hair and saying how did you do that. Or she'll say that my hair is facinating. But, she can never bring herself to say something nice. My brother also. He is continually amazed at how long my hair keeps getting every time I come home from getting a relaxer (the only time I wear my hair down) and he will call me white girl. This is soooo not a compliment, but it's the best he can do without breaking his cool code. He will also compliment me by mistake when he is trying to slam my sister's hair. However, my grandma, aunt, uncle on my mom's side (all white) compliment my hair all the time wheather it's big or straight. They also never tease me because they know I am sensative. They do however, tease one another mercilessly and noone ever gets offended. It's just how my mom's side is. As I type this I do see that I really need to get my feelings off my sleaves. You are right, they will just tease me about something else.

 

[Crystal]

You are a genius! What an excellent idea. Glycerine is the second ingredient in s-curl. Profective is also glycerine based so you ladies are definiately making a valid point. Where can I buy glycerine? Can you give me some examples of fragrant oils and where I can buy them. Thanks

You can buy glycerin at CVS and such, or at GNC or online.

You can buy fragrances at the mall at those carts that sell oils. You only need a few drops and you can make it smell like whatever you want from cookies to strawberries to baby powder to your favorite perfume. Or you can order them online. You can get essential oils also, I'm not a fan of how essential oils smell but you may like them.

 

[Researching]

As much as I used to love coconut oil, I realized once and for all that it was making my hair crunchy. I switched to grapeseed and immediately noticed the difference.

This comment was very helpful. I think the thing that draws me to coconut oil is that it smells so good. I need to find another oil as well.

 

[kinkycurlygurl]

Hello ladies I need help. I have grown my very dry, 4a/b type, relaxed hair from APL to WL using s-curl and profective mega growth for daily moisture. These moisturizers have been the best by far when it comes to keeping my hair soft and managable and keeping the breakage to a minimum. However, when I reached my goal I was no longer tolerant of the smell of these products and I was also tired of my siblings riduculing me about the smelly "grease" I put in my hair. They think everything I put in my hair is grese and I don't even use grease. Well, I've tried to find replacement products, but non of them keep my hair soft and breakage free. These products include: cantu shea butter, Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose as a leave in, Suave conditioner as a leave in, Kamaza curl spray, ORS daily moisturizer, and I have even tried not completely rinsing out my ORS replinishing conditioner and none of this has worked for me. My hair is crunchy and dry and when I seal with coconut oil the oil just sits on my hair and does not penetrate. Lastly I tried wet bunning with a baggie over night. This was the worst in terms of smell! My mom walked by me one day and had this look on her face like she was about to throw up. Then she walked closer and said "What is that ransid smell...That's your hair smelling like that!" I was sooooo embarased and of course my sister had to run up and take a whif as well to add her 2 cents in. I cowashed that evening and have never baggied again. I'm just so upset because I cannot do twist outs or braid out without s-curl or profective because I will get breakage and I am tired of my hair being crunchy and dry. I am also tired of being self-consious about the smell of my hair. Why can't I have my cake and eat it too? Can't I have long, soft, and pleasent smelling hair?

First, of course you can have long, soft and pleasant smelling hair. I had that problem with coconut oil too. I use water as my primary moisturizer. What finally worked for me is using a lot less of the oil on wet or damp hair. When I put on the coconut oil divide my hair wet/damp into 4 sections then put a drop of coconut oil about the size of a tic tac on each section and that's it. Any more, and my hair feels hard and crunchie.

Also, consider abandoning shampoo. I find that it strips my hair dry and I get way more breakage when I use it. I wash with just lukewarm water once a week.
Sometimes, if they know something bothers you they'll dig at it just to get a rise out of you. Don't allow your siblings to push your buttons.

 

[lamaria211]

Try a few drops of essential lemon oil in your scurl or profective. And congrats on going from apl to wl

 

[naheda72]

I agree with the, if it ain't broke don't fix it mantra, but I use Carol's Daughter black vanilla leave-in as my daily moisturizer. For me it works, and it smells good. Glycerin is the 3rd ingredient on the list.

 

[blackeyes31626]

Oyin juices esp. juices & berries

 

[Nonie]

Sorry if my post is redundant since I'm late on this.

Since you like curl activators. Hawaiian silky "dry look" curl activator smells nice. IMO.
Smells like sweet almost like strawberries. Plus you can pick it up in the store.

Otherwise you may need to invest in some custom made hair perfumes.

I was going to suggest Hawaiian silky as well. "Smells like strawberries" is also what I was going to say. Hawaiian Silky 14-in-1 is the only other thing I will use on my hair besides S Curl as a leave-in.

Which oils are essential oils?

Researching, essential oils are sold in tiny bottles because they are concentrated and a few drops mixed in a carrier oil is all you need.

This photo gives you an idea of how small the bottles are:

If you went to a store like Wegman's, Whole Foods, The Vitamin Shoppe...and told them you wanted to look at their essential oils, they'd show you where they are. Otherwise you can order them online from Amazon, www.mountainroseherbs.com

My hair is extremely dry and there's no way that I can get all the moisture I need from just deep conditioning.

I've NEVER been one of those people who could skip a day of moisturizing. I'd see people say things like "I moisturize every few days," and I'd be like "Couldn't be me. erplexed "

tiffers, I used to think the same thing as you. I used to use 147893747 products and felt I had to all the time. And even while I did, my hair would still wind up hard and needing more moisture like all the darn time:

My hair used to feel rough and I used to think I had coarse strands. Enter DCing into my life and ACV rinses (along with baggying which I had been doing for years) and my hair is softest when it's bare. I haven't used a moisturizer in my hair since April 2009. (OK I lie; I tried to use S Curl in August 2010...and to seal with Vaseline but I just couldn't get with that. My hair felt alright but I hate the feeling of product on my face and twists hang and touch my face so no bueno )

So yeah, you THINK your hair cannot do w/o product because you're used to that. It's kinda like how we used to think if we didn't use grease we'd get dandruff and even saw it happen when we'd stop. I was one of those folks too. When a teacher dared me at the age of 11 to not "oil my scalp", I thought he was mad. And yes my scalp itched for a day or so. But I have never looked back.

If you ever DC and then braid your hair to airdry and then after it is fully dry, baggy...you'll be surprised to discover how much moisture infusion the "greenhouse effect" has on hair.

What does rosemary smell like?

Rosemary smells like the herb you cook with. Hubby-mine says that my hair "smells like bush" whenever I spritz it with an ACV solution containing rosemary EO.

I think lavender dmrsmells nice. You may also like ylangylang. Best thing would be to go to a store with testers like Wegman's and try different smells.

As for the "rancid" smell. I have never had that with baggying. Why? Coz I never apply anything to my head when I baggy and I also never baggy wet hair. I also wash my hair twice a week so it's pretty clean--considering I don't apply products that would attract dirt. I'm also not much of a sweater so I think that also makes a difference.

If you consider baggying again, baggy only your bun and make sure the last product you used was conditioner that you rinsed out. (Well, I use ACV rinses at the end of my washes so that's what my last "product" is.) When I baggy, my hair smells so fresh as if I just washed it. I once posted how I used Pomegranate Organix and woke up the next morning thinking hubby was preparing something fruity for b/f. To my surprise, it was my hair smelling so nice. Baggying w/o anything else on your hair seems to "recycle" the conditioning you did so your hair feels moisturized and smells fresh--at least that's what I find happens to mine.

 

[Researching]

Sorry if my post is redundant since I'm late on this.



I was going to suggest Hawaiian silky as well. "Smells like strawberries" is also what I was going to say. Hawaiian Silky 14-in-1 is the only other thing I will use on my hair besides S Curl as a leave-in.



@Researching, essential oils are sold in tiny bottles because they are concentrated and a few drops mixed in a carrier oil is all you need.

This photo gives you an idea of how small the bottles are:

If you went to a store like Wegman's, Whole Foods, The Vitamin Shoppe...and told them you wanted to look at their essential oils, they'd show you where they are. Otherwise you can order them online from Amazon, www.mountainroseherbs.com



@tiffers, I used to think the same thing as you. I used to use 147893747 products and felt I had to all the time. And even while I did, my hair would still wind up hard and needing more moisture like all the darn time:

My hair used to feel rough and I used to think I had coarse strands. Enter DCing into my life and ACV rinses (along with baggying which I had been doing for years) and my hair is softest when it's bare. I haven't used a moisturizer in my hair since April 2009. (OK I lie; I tried to use S Curl in August 2010...and to seal with Vaseline but I just couldn't get with that. My hair felt alright but I hate the feeling of product on my face and twists hang and touch my face so no bueno )

So yeah, you THINK your hair cannot do w/o product because you're used to that. It's kinda like how we used to think if we didn't use grease we'd get dandruff and even saw it happen when we'd stop. I was one of those folks too. When a teacher dared me at the age of 11 to not "oil my scalp", I thought he was mad. And yes my scalp itched for a day or so. But I have never looked back.

If you ever DC and then braid your hair to airdry and then after it is fully dry, baggy...you'll be surprised to discover how much moisture infustion the "greenhouse effect" has on hair.



Rosemary smells like the herb you cook with. Hubby-mine says that my hair "smells like bush" whenever I spritz it with an ACV solution containing rosemary EO.

I think lavender dmrsmells nice. You may also like ylangylang. Best thing would be to go to a store with testers like Wegman's and try different smells.

As for the "rancid" smell. I have never had that with baggying. Why? Coz I never apply anything to my head when I baggy and I also never baggy wet hair. I also wash my hair twice a week so it's pretty clean--considering I don't apply products that would attract dirt. I'm also not much of a sweater so I think that also makes a difference.

If you consider baggying again, baggy only your bun and make sure the last product you used was conditioner that you rinsed out. (Well, I use ACV rinses at the end of my washes so that's what my last "product" is.) When I baggy, my hair smells so fresh as if I just washed it. I once posted how I used Pomegranate Organix and woke up the next morning thinking hubby was preparing something fruity for b/f. To my surprise, it was my hair smelling so nice. Baggying w/o anything else on your hair seems to "recycle" the conditioning you did so your hair feels moisturized and smells fresh--at least that's what I find happens to mine.

I'm jealous! No products and you still have soft hair. That's hard to believe. What is ACV and rosemary EO if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Researching]

And when I baggied my hair it was very wet. Maybe I will give it a try again with dry hair only.

 

[Nonie]

I'm jealous! No products and you still have soft hair. That's hard to believe. What is ACV and rosemary EO if you don't mind me asking?

You can have that too. Really you can. What makes hair soft is internal moisture. If you don't have porous hair, you can help hold onto that moisture by making sure your cuticles are closed--hence the ACV rinse.

When I first started this bare hair regimen it was right after I'd been using products daily because I couldn't do without them. Brenda of www.blackwomenrejoice.com taught me that water was my friend and that water was moisture. She suggested a regimen of washing hair whenever it felt dry. I misunderstood the regimen and assumed that we were not to apply anything but just wash hair when it felt dry. I wasn't even familiar with DCing then. But since I have always baggied my hair at night since the 80's and I was in braids, not using anything on my hair didn't seem to bother me. I wasn't going to be combing my hair anyway. I didn't have a set "washing regimen". I would just shampoo and condition my hair whenever it felt dry. Sometimes I'd CW--something I also learned from her. She did suggest leaving some condish in the hair. I only felt comfy doing that with Humectress since it was both a wash-out and a leave-in...but I didn't like how my hair felt with stuff on it. So I went back to leaving my hair bare.

Anyway, it wasn't until I read Cathy Howse and learned about DCing and then learned about ACVing that I saw my hair transform into what it is today. I was still not using any products and my hair is so soft. In fact, when I joined LHCF, I tried to adopt all the products people raved about but they made my hair harder than when I wasn't using anything. So I returned to bare hair and then later added DCing and ACV, and the rest is history.

So yes, unless you have porous hair...or very low porosity hair that is hard to moisturize, you will have to try baggying bare hair after a day of DCing to understand what I'm talmbout.

ACV is apple cider vinegar that you use in salads. I mix 1/4 cup in two gallons of lukewarm water and add 20 drops of rosemary EO and 20 of lavender EO. Then I dunk my head in it and massage my scalp to my heart's content. I do this as the final step of my wash.

ACV is acidic and acidic products make the hair cuticle lie down giving you smooth strands that don't tangle easily. But you have to be careful not to use a very strong acidic solution or you'll damage your hair. Better to go as dilute as possible and err on the side of caution. In this vid where I am finger-combing my hair, I have NO products on my hair. I just undid a twist and I'm separating the strands. See how easily the strands slide out without knotting up or tangling:
http://youtu.be/V5iU4NgNGgI

Sometimes I'm in a rush and not able to do the whole dunking step, I will towel dry after rinsing conditioner off, then spritz my hair with an ACV solution made with the following recipe:

Essential Oil Vinegar Rinse

2 tablespoons (8 teaspoons/40 ml) apple cider vinegar
20 drops lavender oil
20 drops rosemary oil
10 drops geranium oil (or lemon oil if hair is oily)
Rain or distilled water
1 teaspoon vegetable glycerine
Mix essential oils and vinegar together in a 300ml spray bottle. Fill up with purified or rain water. Shake well before use.

I do not rinse my hair out after an ACV rinse.

And when I baggied my hair it was very wet. Maybe I will give it a try again with dry hair only.

No wonder you got musky hair. Wetness makes me think of mildew and mold. Think of how folding wet clothes can lead to you finding them covered in fungus. You could even get ill (headache, cold...). Nah, do it on dry, clean, bare hair. Oils or whatever could also get a funky smell if baggied.

ETA: Researching I just realized you were asking what rosemary EO is. EO is an acronym for essential oils. You might find this thread useful: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=20774

 

[virtuenow]

My hair is extremely dry and there's no way that I can get all the moisture I need from just deep conditioning.

I used to feel that way too. 5 years natural and still hard hair after every wash. In fact, my hair felt the worst while it was wet and right after I washed it. I saw too many women on here achieving moisture from DC's that I continued my search. I finally found the only DC that my hair actually reacted to and a combination of oil rinsing (and cutting shampoo) to give me moist hair from within. This is the thread that perplexed me and encouraged me to keep looking for THE DC: @westNDNbeauty http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=431336

 

[DarkJoy]

Scurl moisturizer is mainly glycerin. You can buy some glycerin and mix it with water and buy some fragrance oils and make it smell how ever u want.

^^^she got it! My hair is a very DRY and brittle 4b and probably some of the mysterious 4c thrown in.

Until recently, I'd forgotten that my hair once got almost to APL when I used S-curl (because I had a curl back in the day--dont laugh! lol). And every time I use a product with glycerin, it grows and retains length like nobody's business. It can be troublesome because for me it causes skin breakouts. So I stop and the breakage begins.

Buy some plain veg glycerin at your local health food store. put no more that 2 tblsp in a sprayer with distilled water and maybe your favorite oil and EO. Boom. Generic S-curl without the funk.

There's your S-curl right there.

 

[abcd09]

18 and 19. I am 29. I know they are younger so I shouldn't care what they think. I shouldn't be so sensative. They are just really immature. They like to tease me when my hair is not straightened and when I am putting products in my hair, but they also Constantly bug me to wear my hair down. My sister is facinated by my twist outs, braid outs, and fancy buns but doesn't compliment me. It's just not cool to give compliments. She will just keep touching my hair and saying how did you do that. Or she'll say that my hair is facinating. But, she can never bring herself to say something nice. My brother also. He is continually amazed at how long my hair keeps getting every time I come home from getting a relaxer (the only time I wear my hair down) and he will call me white girl. This is soooo not a compliment, but it's the best he can do without breaking his cool code. He will also compliment me by mistake when he is trying to slam my sister's hair. However, my grandma, aunt, uncle on my mom's side (all white) compliment my hair all the time wheather it's big or straight. They also never tease me because they know I am sensative. They do however, tease one another mercilessly and noone ever gets offended. It's just how my mom's side is. As I type this I do see that I really need to get my feelings off my sleaves. You are right, they will just tease me about something else.

Researching, I'm sorry if I came out wrong, I don't mean to say you need to not feel this way. Initially what I wanted to say was it sounds like you need to sit your siblings down and have a talk with them, but I wasn't sure how old they were since that affects their maturity and ability to handle what you're saying.

You are fully within your rights to feel upset and it may help you feel better to have a mature conversation where you set rules that everyone talks openly, but teasing is not allowed, and then at the end you all can decide how the teasing can play out from then on. They should be old enough to handle that, but if not it may just help you feel better in the end, even if they don't stop.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

I really think the dry brittle hair can come from build up and the reason nothing is working is because its just sitting on your hair. Elucence makes a clarifying shampoo that doesn't strip like suave clarifying shampoo. I can't escape clarifying because my DCs, leave ins, oils, none of that would be as effective with build up.

 

[Researching]

@Researching, I'm sorry if I came out wrong, I don't mean to say you need to not feel this way. Initially what I wanted to say was it sounds like you need to sit your siblings down and have a talk with them, but I wasn't sure how old they were since that affects their maturity and ability to handle what you're saying.

You are fully within your rights to feel upset and it may help you feel better to have a mature conversation where you set rules that everyone talks openly, but teasing is not allowed, and then at the end you all can decide how the teasing can play out from then on. They should be old enough to handle that, but if not it may just help you feel better in the end, even if they don't stop.

You're right. I've had the conversation with my sister before and she stopped for a while. I need to tell them both again how I feel and ask them to respect my wishes.

 

[Researching]

Wow ladies this is a lot of information. I would LOVE to only DC and leave it at that. My hair is actually very very soft after DCing. My problem is when it dries, so I'm thinking that is may be possible for me to retain a week's worth of moisture by finding a better oil to seal with and only use my coconut oil for prepooing. And I can also baggie on DRY hair now that I know how to do it properly. And if my hair is still dry I will try the glycerine rosewater mix or Hawaian Silky 14-in-1. Thank you all so much for your help! Now I am off to find a good sealing oil!

 

[Nonie]

Researching, why not try the Hawaiian Silky WITHOUT a sealing oil? I never seal with anything when I use S Curl or Hawaiian Silky. I think sometimes it's using too many things all at once that gives our hair a funky smell.