Who is saying Black Women Can't Grow Hair?

[Solitude]

Honestly, I have never heard this sentiment in real life. I've always gotten compliments on my hair, even in a short bob.
Even now, I tell people I am growing it out and no one gives me crazy looks...not that I would care.
A lot of people on here are hyper-sensitive, judging by all the angry anectdotal threads. I talk to my black and white friends openly about hair care - relaxers, weaves, products.
Yes, I have heard an ignorant comment or two, but I either ignore it or correct it. I've never heard a malicious comment besides a rank like "beady-beads" or "nappy-headed" from one black person to another.

I don't care what anyone says, the NUMBER ONE reason why this belief exists and persists in society is the fact that so many black women wear weaves.

We try so hard to make a weave look real, then get mad when people can't tell the difference...I digress, but in short, I agree with the OP.

 

[anon123]

I'm going to be honest about something. I think if you can't retain your growth (for whatever reason), then you can't grow hair. If your hair automatically breaks off at nape, then I'm gonna say "you can't grow hair".

I completely agree. I know often we make the distinction between growth and retention, but if you can't retain, it doesn't matter how much you grow. The end result is the same, short hair.

That said, my family always believed black women can grow hair. They just thought it was hard. My father always said "if you take care of that hair, it'll grow". I just thought it required all this specialized knowledge and lots of effort. So far, I've been right.

 

[Prinncipality]

Oddly enough, in my case, only other black people (men and women) assume black women can't grow hair. Other races seem more so to think we just prefer shorter hair. I usually get questions like " Why don't you grow you hair longer. Why do you always keep it short?" as opposed to " Why can't you grow your hair."

 

[teysmith]

honestly I thought that up until I came here. I thought that every black person with long hair had to be mixed with something..not necessarly biracial but have to have some kind of white mixed in down the line..lol, indian or something. no matter how kinky or curly..I just thought this..and I used to think that all people with short hair has short hair because thats the only length they were able to have. I never believed for one minute that it was possible to acheive long hair! I just thought that I was geneticly short haired chick! so far I havent acheived long hair, I havent been on this site that long. But with all the tips and new things I've learned so far I can definately see a change in my hair. so now...I BELIEVE!!!

 

[teysmith]

Oddly enough, in my case, only other black people (men and women) assume black women can't grow hair. Other races seem more so to think we just prefer shorter hair. I usually get questions like " Why don't you grow you hair longer. Why do you always keep it short?" as opposed to " Why can't you grow your hair."

TRUE!

 

[JJamiah]

One day in one of my classes we were talking about Tyra Banks, when some white guy yelled out, "Tyra Banks is black? I thought she was Egyptian!" the whole class laughed at him, he then said, "That's not her real hair then, is it?" I was shocked because he was so blatant. I wanted to protest but knew my words would carry little weight since my hair is not that long.But it was mainly the black people saying things like "hell no, thats just a good weave". I was soo suprised that day

it doesn't suprise me, I get the look of wide eyes, don't know what it means and yes they make the comments directly too you and some just don't know. once I see a friend of another race touch another friends hair of AA race and was like wow your hair is SOFT, wow, shocked and I was like curios as to what it was suppose to feel like. She said I thought it would be hard. What? Okay, alright then. She did finish it up with I want my hair curly too!

I have a friend who is black and married to a white man, NOW THIS IS SWEET, he goes, I WISH she would stop wearing that Fake hair (lacefront) and just wash and go, I love her natural hair, She has the nicest Fro. She looked shocked I was like Awwwww! I told her why don't you make him happy, she said I am not walking around with a fro!

I have heard this from different races including BW- directly & indirectly.
It is just an assumption, b/c it is rare to see long hair on black women. This is just a straight up observation...to all races.
...I am sure that those Asian hair traders are very interested in if BW can or cannot grow their own hair

YOu know they would catch a fit if we all grew hair that means no business for them!


All I know is it isn't the people who have lack of knowledge of our hair that is the problem it is the people who are out right vicious for no reason, and if it isn't our hair, it's our nose, our butts, our lips (botox any one), our smell, our eye color, our breath, our characteristics, a stereotype about our people our men, our babies, we could go on all day!

As Women of LHCF we are all taking steps in the right direction weather we are Natural or Chemically treated, I love myself, I feel sorry for the people who just talk and don't know, instead of asking questions. Yet we must amongst one another think just because we choose to be natural or relaxed or chemically treated that one is more right than the other. It's called personal Choices! I made mine and you made yours. ENd of story!!

 

[Ronnieaj]

So, most of the women in my family have always had APL or longer hair, so growing hair really isn't a big thing in my family. I'm the only family member with natural hair, but it's as long now as it was relaxed, so again, no biggie.

That said, my boss (who is white) has said, on MULTIPLE occasions, "gosh, if I had to do what she had to do with her hair, I'd rather be bald." And she's asked me why I just don't cut it off, multiple times. She can't fathom spending more than 2 minutes on her hair, not 5 hours a week. I just have to smile and tell her that my hair is not her hair, and while I'll probably be able to do my hair from start to finish in 15 minutes, she'll never get the BAA that I'm currently ROCKING , and I'll never have to get my hair cut every 6 weeks.

On the rare occasion I straighten my hair, or even wear it in an afro, I'm hounded as to how my hair is that long because it doesn't look it (my shrinkage is close to 70%), because I'm twisted up most of the time. To them I try and explain, to others I just ignore.

 

[JJamiah]

So, most of the women in my family have always had APL or longer hair, so growing hair really isn't a big thing in my family. I'm the only family member with natural hair, but it's as long now as it was relaxed, so again, no biggie.

That said, my boss (who is white) has said, on MULTIPLE occasions, "gosh, if I had to do what she had to do with her hair, I'd rather be bald." And she's asked me why I just don't cut it off, multiple times. She can't fathom spending more than 2 minutes on her hair, not 5 hours a week. I just have to smile and tell her that my hair is not her hair, and while I'll probably be able to do my hair from start to finish in 15 minutes, she'll never get the BAA that I'm currently ROCKING , and I'll never have to get my hair cut every 6 weeks.

On the rare occasion I straighten my hair, or even wear it in an afro, I'm hounded as to how my hair is that long because it doesn't look it (my shrinkage is close to 70%), because I'm twisted up most of the time. To them I try and explain, to others I just ignore.

At the risk of sounding like a bright light is out, I would like to know What is a BAA?

 

[jamaraa]

Big or Bad *** Afro=BAA

 

[jamaraa]

To me those statements are wrong because the intention of those black guys was to put black women down. Basically, they are saying that white women are better. Also, my hair has never smelled like grease (and I haven't smelled grease in any other black woman's hair) and my hair does blow in the wind. Now, it may not fall neatly back into place but it does move in the wind. So their comments were ignorant and inaccurate on several levels.

Your hair "blows in the wind" because you straighten it. In it's natural state, sans heat, I doubt it would. IOW you have to alter the texture to get it to behave in this manner more likely than not. This isn't the case for most people who are not of African descent and I think that's pretty apparent. You've seriously never smelled grease in a BW's hair?

I never said their intentions were good, but their info is accurate for most BW. If that has been said to me, I'd have not taken it personally. If they want hair of another texture they should seek those who have it cuz I ain't changing my hair to make some guy happy. Nope

Those dudes said that cuz they know they hit two sore spots in one....hair issues and interracial relationships. They'll keep doing it as long as the tactic works.

 

[JJamiah]

Big or Bad *** Afro=BAA

Thanks, I like Bad *** Afro, LOL!

 

[jamaraa]

I have a friend who is black and married to a white man, NOW THIS IS SWEET, he goes, I WISH she would stop wearing that Fake hair (lacefront) and just wash and go, I love her natural hair, She has the nicest Fro. She looked shocked I was like Awwwww! I told her why don't you make him happy, she said I am not walking around with a fro!

If it was a BM who wanted her to get her natural hair permed or weaved, would you think the same?

 

[tenderheaded]

Sometimes the remarks are indirect. I used to travel for work and I wore a short, curly wig (still do). I never had a bad hair day. When I got back from Europe, I felt like a change, so I got my natural hair relaxed and set.
You have never seen so many WW staring The receptionist (ww) said "there is NO WAY that's your hair" even after I parted it and showed her my scalp! The only other black woman said "remind me not to introduce you to my husband"

The myth is out there and will take a long time to go away.

 

[JJamiah]

If it was a BM who wanted her to get her natural hair permed or weaved, would you think the same?

First off I think ANY man who loves his WOMAN in her Natural State with and with out make up with and with out her fresh perm, rollerset or Doobie is sweet! It Means I LOVE you the way you are straight out the box, LIke My Husband loves me, He meant me with long hair I shaved it down to the last clip, I have been fro, natural, relaxed, blonde, make up, no make up 99% of the time, bum look, fly look, and if you ask my husband he will tell you she is Golden, with natural beauty (I say busted sometimes he says Beautiful) But hey!. For him to out right say it to her in front of her friends, made me think that was Super sweet!

Okay If the BM wanted her to get her natural hair permed that is up to her, the Perm is permanent so that is definitely not something to take lightly. I'd personally put a weave in if my husband asked me, can you do this for me, as long as it looked nice. I trust my hubbies judgement. Not to say I'd wear it all the time but once or twice is nice, and I am tenderheaded! WHew that is like asking me to give up a lung! but Compromise!

Just a note: She is natural under the lace front, she has a fro under, he just wants her to wear it out, and not under the lace front. Not to cut her hair or anything.

 

[aquajoyice]

I think that there are AA women out there that think about it day and night believing type 4 hair doesn't grow becuase of thier own experiences. So when they see someone with type 4 hair that is long and healthy they tend to stereotype and say it's a weave. Those are the ones that will talk about you behind your back and/or make ignorant comments. Only because they are voicing their own fears as to why their hair isn't growing.

Some Black men are just perpetuating what they've heard and seen growing up. And society says that beauty equals long pretty hair etc...etc.

And everyone else just accepts it whether it is or isn't. But when you have a majority in that particular ethnic group perpetuating negative ideas about their own hair.. well there you have it. They don't know because they feel they can't relate so they just believe all whatever ideas we put forth about ourselves. And since this topic has been going on for generations and generations we as a people have to put out this negative flame and educate other AA's on our hair. Otherwise it will never get better and little girls and boys will think their type 4 hair = "Bad" hair.

 

[jamaraa]

First off I think ANY man who loves his WOMAN in her Natural State with and with out make up with and with out her fresh perm, rollerset or Doobie is sweet! It Means I LOVE you the way you are straight out the box, LIke My Husband loves me, He meant me with long hair I shaved it down to the last clip, I have been fro, natural, relaxed, blonde, make up, no make up 99% of the time, bum look, fly look, and if you ask my husband he will tell you she is Golden, with natural beauty (I say busted sometimes he says Beautiful) But hey!. For him to out right say it to her in front of her friends, made me think that was Super sweet!

Okay If the BM wanted her to get her natural hair permed that is up to her, the Perm is permanent so that is definitely not something to take lightly. I'd personally put a weave in if my husband asked me, can you do this for me, as long as it looked nice. I trust my hubbies judgement. Not to say I'd wear it all the time but once or twice is nice, and I am tenderheaded! WHew that is like asking me to give up a lung! but Compromise!

Just a note: She is natural under the lace front, she has a fro under, he just wants her to wear it out, and not under the lace front. Not to cut her hair or anything.

Umm...I guess. I just can't see how it's a big deal that a man loves his woman in her naural state and why a woman would be w/ someone who didn't?

Women constantly change their appearance over time...it's not static. Any guy who truly loves you will love you in all forms. After all, women put up w/ balding heads and beer bellys, so guys ain't such a bargain anyway.

 

[beans4reezy]

This isn't ignorant, it's truth. Simple observation shows that most Black women do not have long hair. As a matter of fact, even those who do, given the texture of African hair, it will not behave in the way you state above. How is that inaccurate?

I can see the point you are making...because such is the case. We do not have hair that blows in the wind, and for the most part a majority of AA women have in their lifetime have gotten down with the green grease.

However, it wasn't like they were saying that we have hair that doesn't move, but they can go for either, swangy hair or stationary hair. They were saying that these elements make White women better than Black women. Their behavior demonstrates a general lack of acceptance of our own unique features that make us AA. That is the ignorance that I am referring to.

 

[JJamiah]

Umm...I guess. I just can't see how it's a big deal that a man loves his woman in her naural state and why a woman would be w/ someone who didn't?

Women constantly change their appearance over time...it's not static. Any guy who truly loves you will love you in all forms. After all, women put up w/ balding heads and beer bellys, so guys ain't such a bargain anyway.

Well it happens and when a man appreciates you for you - it is nice to hear every once in a while! LOL

Now you not JOKING about the BEER Bellys, ohhhhhhhh! Girl you aint never lie!

 

[knt1229]

Your hair "blows in the wind" because you straighten it. In it's natural state, sans heat, I doubt it would. IOW you have to alter the texture to get it to behave in this manner more likely than not. This isn't the case for most people who are not of African descent and I think that's pretty apparent. You've seriously never smelled grease in a BW's hair?

I never said their intentions were good, but their info is accurate for most BW. If that has been said to me, I'd have not taken it personally. If they want hair of another texture they should seek those who have it cuz I ain't changing my hair to make some guy happy. Nope

Those dudes said that cuz they know they hit two sore spots in one....hair issues and interracial relationships. They'll keep doing it as long as the tactic works.

I don't use heat on my hair. It moves in the wind because it isn't weighed down with product. Also, because it is afro-textured it doesn't blow sexily like white women on tv but if the wind is blowing my hair will blow up and stay up...It won't lay or fall back down when I am out of the wind...

And as I said neither myself or any other Black women I have been in the company of smells like grease. That comment about having an odor is malicious, racist and wrong. I don't smell and I don't know other black women who do. If somebody smells like grease then they are using way too much and that would be the exception not the rule at least in my world.

Because they are implying that white is better I can't co-sign anything they are saying. To me their comments are the same as a racist white person saying blacks are criminals and on welfare. Sure some blacks are criminal and live on welfare but I wouldn't agree with a racist for saying that.

Based on the way the poster told the story it seemed that they went to school and lost their minds. I don't know if they were trying to piss the poster off. But whatever their intentions were they are obviously ignorant. I won't co-sign on anybody's ignorance.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Trust me, they have their opinions and are curious. They just won't express them to your face until the opportunity comes up. I thought the same thing until one day a former co-worker who's Mexican asked me to hand her a hair band. I looked at it and thought I could tell her the she should use the silk covered ones because these cause breakage. Given it was unsolicitied advice but I didn't expect her to bust out with, "Mexican Hair Can Grow!!!" I told her all hair grows and that I just wanted to share what I learned about those stretchy hair rubber bands. Clearly it was a sensitive issue. She had waist length hair that she ended up cutting to her shoulder because every strand of hair was split and it was multi-layered. I guess years of neglect and the, "I can do whatever I want to my hair because, Mexican Hair Can Grow," mentality caught up with her. After that she was always trying to get me to let her clothes iron my hair to see how long it was getting and how it would look striaght.

 

[CocoBunny]

One day in one of my classes we were talking about Tyra Banks, when some white guy yelled out, "Tyra Banks is black? I thought she was Egyptian!" the whole class laughed at him, he then said, "That's not her real hair then, is it?" I was shocked because he was so blatant. I wanted to protest but knew my words would carry little weight since my hair is not that long.But it was mainly the black people saying things like "hell no, thats just a good weave". I was soo suprised that day

I found this funny.

 

[Urban]

Trust me, they have their opinions and are curious. They just won't express them to your face until the opportunity comes up. I thought the same thing until one day a former co-worker who's Mexican asked me to hand her a hair band. I looked at it and thought I could tell her the she should use the silk covered ones because these cause breakage. Given it was unsolicitied advice but I didn't expect her to bust out with, "Mexican Hair Can Grow!!!" I told her all hair grows and that I just wanted to share what I learned about those stretchy hair rubber bands. Clearly it was a sensitive issue. She had waist length hair that she ended up cutting to her shoulder because every strand of hair was split and it was multi-layered. I guess years of neglect and the, "I can do whatever I want to my hair because, Mexican Hair Can Grow," mentality caught up with her. After that she was always trying to get me to let her clothes iron my hair to see how long it was getting and how it would look striaght.

 

[Almaz]

At the bolded.

Not ugly
Not ***** BUT
BUGLY hahahaha

Can I use that sometime

I have heard plenty of black men say it. Even went to the Golden Corall after church one day with some friends, and one of the guys was talking about black women and they hair, and all we do is wear weaves.

I have heard some black women say it.

And the yt hispanic/latin women over here are a trip. They'll tell you in a sec that black men like them because of their long hair. And then flip it in your face. No matter how bugly they are.

It depends on where you live. This country is not one monolithic place.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

may i ask, what is AA? i think i know......

 

[I Am So Blessed]

ok i just found out.......i rememeber one white lady asked me, "is that all your hair" at the time i didnt think twice about that question. but now when i look back, i shake my head. well hopefuly more and more black women can stumble across this forum and learn how to retain lenght. than we allllll will grow grow grow. i have a male friend who thinks blks cant grow hair either, sometimes i just want to stop taking to him just for those comments alone. hes been my freind for 5 years but when he starts to diss blk hair, our freindship is on the line lol.

 

[exoticmommie]

At the bolded.

Not ugly
Not ***** BUT
BUGLY hahahaha

Can I use that sometime

sure

 

[solomorena]

I think the answer to your question varies. Some do look for a reason to complain or draw attention. Others actually experience the ignorance. I was actually ignorant to it in a different sense. I always thought that my hair had a growth limit of BSL, until it grew past that and was very healthy for a long time. I just didn't recognize that the hair care regimens that I copied from my peers were very much beneficial and probably were the cause for my retention. I took what I had for granted and started to damage my hair, now I am learning why certain things work while others does not (hair care products/regimens).
Likewise, I have too, been often accused of having long hair because of having multiple races in my background or accused of having good weaves. Just last month, when I was buying food at a Wendy's drive through, the cashier would not hand me my food for a good 5 minutes, because she was not convinced my hair was real! Another neighbor violated my space one afternoon, she kept insisting that she never saw a black girl with long hair and insisted that she feel it, she didn't even ask, she just ran her fingers through my hair! People are ignorant. I wish I knew about this site sooner, I would've recommended it along time ago. lol

 

[Almaz]

Where I come from it is odd to see a Black women with short hair. Whether if she is from the north or the south. Whether 10z or 1a. Even the girls with the most Afro-textured hair grew it long or kept it short by choice. It is so sad that there are prevailing stereotypes and preconceived notions about Black women and our hair.

But yet. I see Paris Hilton wearing weaves and extensions all the time My BFF in LA goes to the SAME Black salon where they Kardashian sisters go and get there extra hair put in to have the illusion of long flowing thick locks

And Jessica Simpson has her own line of phony ponies and buns that she is selling. I know a white woman at works who spends all day at the salon where she goes and gets a full sewn in weave braided and sew in because she only has 3 strands of hair and the hair that she has is limp, dull and lifeless from a life time of perms and overly blonde dyes. Other races have just a much issues with their hair and believe me they are not all walking around with long flowing locks at lot of that is "Enhanced" also. But this same woman is always up in my business and the other black girls at work that have long hair. She is always telling me I should cut my hair because>


I just LOVE LOVE LOVE to see Black women with the cute short afros.

I tell her No you just can't stand to see Black women with more hair than you. Don't play with me.

Other people need to stay out of our hair business in the first place and black men who have these notions need to get a grip

 

[Almaz]

At the bolded. What does it matter just give you your damn Wendys' and let it be. At the neighbour:crystalba

Good night

You is a REAL nice lady cause I am REALLY funny about people touching my hair

I think the answer to your question varies. Some do look for a reason to complain or draw attention. Others actually experience the ignorance. I was actually ignorant to it in a different sense. I always thought that my hair had a growth limit of BSL, until it grew past that and was very healthy for a long time. I just didn't recognize that the hair care regimens that I copied from my peers were very much beneficial and probably were the cause for my retention. I took what I had for granted and started to damage my hair, now I am learning why certain things work while others does not (hair care products/regimens).
Likewise, I have too, been often accused of having long hair because of having multiple races in my background or accused of having good weaves. Just last month, when I was buying food at a Wendy's drive through, the cashier would not hand me my food for a good 5 minutes, because she was not convinced my hair was real! Another neighbor violated my space one afternoon, she kept insisting that she never saw a black girl with long hair and insisted that she feel it, she didn't even ask, she just ran her fingers through my hair! People are ignorant. I wish I knew about this site sooner, I would've recommended it along time ago. lol

 

[I Am So Blessed]

Well, let's use my idiotic childhood friends as an example - two guy friends of mine. We grew up in an all Black neighborhood. These guys go away to college in a predominately white school.

Wow! White girls! They've discovered Utopia!!!

So now, don't you know these fools, their first year back visiting from school, all they could do is exalt the virtue of white women? White women have hair, Black girls do not. White women have hair that blow in the wind, Black girls do not. White women have hair that smells good, like fruit. Black women have hair that smells like grease.

The ignorance is astounding! So yes, sadly, this filth comes out of the mouths of our own erplexed.

wow, the ignorance........