She called me out because my gray was showing!

[onejamifan]

Ok, so I'm in my early 30's and have had gray hairs for at least the past 5 years. I cover them every 6-8 weeks. Any way, the other day, it was raining and crappy and I had my hair in a pony tail. I had just finished taking an exam and was waiting outside the classroom when one of my fellow students, who happens to be from the Caribbean, had the balls to say to me, "I see this class is stressing you out. Just look at all that gray!" I was like WTF?? It's not like she and I are friendly or anything. Then she goes ahead and tells me that she's never had any grays because she's too young. Mind you, we are the same age. So basically she was calling me old and unkept. She wears her hair short and dyes it a reddish brown, so chances are she's covering something with that hair color.

Any way, I get a real bad vibe from this girl and I don't know what to make of it. She's always saying things to me that feel like either she feels intimidated or bothered by me. I rarely speak to her and I know nothing about her, but she always finds a way to strike up a conversation with me and let's it be known that she got a better grade than me or whatever. I honestly could care less, but I feel like she's out to get me and I don't want to put up with it any more.

So my question to you ladies, is what would you do in this situation? I don't want to be rude because we might be in class together for a few more semesters, but I don't want to feel like I have been put into a competition that I did not sign up for. I would understand if we were in high school, but damn, we are grown!

 

[Almaz]

If you get a bad vibe than that is what you get. Just Ignore her for the most part and do your thing. If she continues being rude ask her why do you feel the need to always do this. I am about as being polite and kind as possible but if she keeps it up. Then hey who cares if you are in class with her a few more semesters. YOU are there for YOU and YOU only.

 

[Almaz]

She prolly mad cause you got hair in the first place

 

[Pompous Blue]

She prolly mad cause you got hair in the first place

Amen.....and so jealous about it that it spilled out of her jealous mouth! I would have looked her up and down and lingered on her hair the longest and KIM....

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I would totally ignore her rude comments and flip my hair

 

[ladytee2]

Ok, so I'm in my early 30's and have had gray hairs for at least the past 5 years. I cover them every 6-8 weeks. Any way, the other day, it was raining and crappy and I had my hair in a pony tail. I had just finished taking an exam and was waiting outside the classroom when one of my fellow students, who happens to be from the Caribbean, had the balls to say to me, "I see this class is stressing you out. Just look at all that gray!" I was like WTF?? It's not like she and I are friendly or anything. Then she goes ahead and tells me that she's never had any grays because she's too young. Mind you, we are the same age. So basically she was calling me old and unkept. She wears her hair short and dyes it a reddish brown, so chances are she's covering something with that hair color.

!

Yeah you got her by a land slide. How would she know if she had gray? Which is what I would have smiled and said really sweetly . I would pray for her smile like she has 1 eye and say hmmmmm anytime she said anything me. Eventually she will get the picture and leave you alone.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

One word: HATER

 

[msa]

Don't sit in front of her in class...she might be the type to put gum in your ponytail.

 

[onejamifan]

Don't sit in front of her in class...she might be the type to put gum in your ponytail.

I'll keep that in mind. As it is now, I sit all the way across the classroom from her, but she still finds her way over to my side of the room...

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

Well...the fact that her eyes were all up in your head in the first place says it all.

 

[diva24]

She is studying your hair! And probably failing the class. I agree with the "look at her hair" and linger for a second and then shrug your shoulders. That should send a message. Besides I am in my 20s and have a few grays. TELL NO ONE OR FACE MY WRATH!

 

[zzirvingj]

My Aunt likes to call me out on my greys all the time.

An ex of mine saw me and literally "tilted my head over with both of his hands" talkin bout, "Are those GREY HAIRS??!!"...all loud and disgusted.

I'm pretty self conscious about mine so I just started henna-ing But I don't need people to call me out on my greys....AS IF I don't know they're there!!

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

First and foremost there's nothing wrong with a little gray. She's probably upset that your confidence is obvious and your beauty shines through. IF she was really secure with herself she wouldn't be trying to "one up" you at every opportunity. I would be polite but if she overstep her bounds, politely shut her down. And probably pimp slap her in the process. j/k

 

[LoveLongLocks]

She is perhaps a little envious or admires you. Just don't respond to her, then you are not being rude... give her like the cold shoulder. When she speaks just shrug your shoulders as if you have no idea what she is talking about - everytime she talks to you. She'll get the point that you aren't interested...

 

[krikit96]

Just tell her next time she speaks... don't even let her finish, just cut her off... and be like, "You know... every time you say something to me I am offended by you... lets just keep our distance."

OR you could just tell her next time, "Girl, you do you, and let me do me. You don't see me commenting on how your scalp is the same color as your hair... so let me be..."

OR the eyes lingering on the hair thing... and then just smirk and walk off...without responding to whatever she said...

Or... "See, I'm fly withOUT the hair dye...take notes ****"... and walk off... I bet she don't say nothing to you ever again...

 

[Dacia38]

That is classic passive aggressive. These types (or at least the one's I've run across) typically have self-esteem issues. Two ways to handle this: 1) Ignore her - she's too small and insignificant (sp) to even bother with or 2) Play the game right back at her. I know...this is the petty option, but hey....I can give it just like the next person. I find that these types can dish it out, but they can rarely take it.

Either way she's hating on you..and worse she can't feel all that great about herself either.

~Dee

 

[Geminigirl]

Ummm look at your hair...you know what it probably is lol. I would just smile and nod and make the convo as short as you can. If you don't want to be bothered by her don't. If you don't want to be rude..don't but you don't have to talk all day about how she has a better grade then you and she doesn't have gray hair. Keep it short and sweet and KIM.

 

[onejamifan]

Just tell her next time she speaks... don't even let her finish, just cut her off... and be like, "You know... every time you say something to me I am offended by you... lets just keep our distance."

OR you could just tell her next time, "Girl, you do you, and let me do me. You don't see me commenting on how your scalp is the same color as your hair... so let me be..."

OR the eyes lingering on the hair thing... and then just smirk and walk off...without responding to whatever she said...

Or... "See, I'm fly withOUT the hair dye...take notes ****"... and walk off... I bet she don't say nothing to you ever again...

 

[onejamifan]

Thanks all for your responses. I had originally thought about saying something, but after reading your posts I think that by ignoring her or just smiling at her and KIM I avoid any type of unnecessary confrontations. I am sure she'll get the point and leave it at that. If she doesn't, then it's on her...

 

[YankeeCandle]

I'll keep that in mind. As it is now, I sit all the way across the classroom from her, but she still finds her way over to my side of the room...

Uh-oh. It's a Stalker-Usurper. These are different than regular Haters. They are secretly drawn to you and want to partake in your essence..but rather than bask in it, they seek to appropriate it entirely and slowly push you into the wings until you topple right off the stage.

I learned all about this from studying my Sweet Valley Highs like psychology texts.

Watch out for the S-Us.

 

[Sashaa08]

Co-signing with the others-I think she is jealous of your lovely locks of hair. (I can see why!! )

If you felt like being nasty, you should have said, "yeah, when your hair grows as fast and long as mine, the color grows out so fast-you probably don't have that problem."

Glad that you took the high road though!

 

[jamaraa]

Lots of folks have greys at your age...I know I did (I'm a few years older than you only a few). Many people get them in their teens even...shrug. As has been pointed out, since she dyes her hair, neither you nor she can tell if she's got some or not.

Don't let it get you down hon...as other have pointed out, you have hair enough so that your greys show growing from your own head. Last I checked, weaves don't grow grey! With your length, she feels she's gotta have something to say, afetr all, you're not supposed to have it growing from the scalp! LOL If she keeps on bugging you, ask her what color her hair REALLY is and watch her puzzle!

 

[Barbie83]

hate hate hate hate hate! Girl look at all that gorgeous hair you have. Of course she's just jelly.

 

[YankeeCandle]

Just tell her next time she speaks... don't even let her finish, just cut her off... and be like, "You know... every time you say something to me I am offended by you... lets just keep our distance."

OR you could just tell her next time, "Girl, you do you, and let me do me. You don't see me commenting on how your scalp is the same color as your hair... so let me be..."

OR the eyes lingering on the hair thing... and then just smirk and walk off...without responding to whatever she said...

Or... "See, I'm fly withOUT the hair dye...take notes ****"... and walk off... I bet she don't say nothing to you ever again...

You rule.

 

[finickyone]

If thats your hair in your avatar, its pretty safe to say that she's sipping on that hatorade! Next time you see her, make eye contact & toss your hair. lol

 

[Barbie83]

Co-signing with the others-I think she is jealous of your lovely locks of hair. (I can see why!! )

If you felt like being nasty, you should have said, "yeah, when your hair grows as fast and long as mine, the color grows out so fast-you probably don't have that problem."

Glad that you took the high road though!

OMG I totally would have said that! Good one!

 

[Giselle685]

Speak to her only when you are spoken to. Don't let her take you out of your character. Jealousy is an ignorant emotion. If you want it, go get it.

 

[NuMommy]

If thats your hair in your avatar, its pretty safe to say that she's sipping on that hatorade! Next time you see her, make eye contact & toss your hair. lol

I'm 24 and I've got a few grays- where I'm from it's considered to be your "good luck". I know people like that, they don't have anything good to say cause in their hearts they are so jealous,so they try to say things to tear you down and make themselves feel better. But looking at your hair, I can see why she's hating . Next thing she'll be asking is " When you gonna quit wearing a weave?"Ahhh, I love haters...

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

She is propbably jealous of you and your hair so she brings up that she has "better grade of hair" and put you on blast about your grey hairs to make herself feel better. Since she feels so comfortable with pointing out your "flaws" then you should point out hers.

My mother has had grey hair right from birth and started dyeing it when she was 13 because she was teased a lot and beat up a girl coz of it lol. I inherited that grey hair but not as much I like it I actually want my whole hair to be completly grey at a young age (Like Storm from X-men watched it all the time as a kid)

 

[NuMommy]

@ Giselle685, Your siggy pic is HIL-A-RIOUS!