Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your Hair!

[chicacanella]

This happened so long ago but I thought I'd post anyway. So, my white supervisor at my last internship around the beginning of March were talking about my hair. She was saying it was so long and was wondering why I didn't wear it out more often. Then we were talking about the ladies at my internship before that and how they were talking about my hair not in a bad way...blah, blah, blah.

For some reason, I don't know how but she ends up saying, "Well, they (in reference to other black women) are probably jealous of you because your hair is so long and most black women don't have long hair." Then she went on to talk about how their hair probably breaks and snaps, while I'm wondering, "Whoaa, did she just say that about other black women?"

Then it got me to thinking, "I wonder if some white women do sometimes think that black women are jealous of them because their hair length is longer?" If she said that black women think that about me, then what wouldn't make her think black women thing that about her?

Are there black women that are probably jealous of a person's hair length...yes. But there are women all around the world that are jealous of what someone else has got and white women, who could probably easy have MBL hair can also be jealous because they don't usually think a black women could have hair "that" long. Interesting conversation to say the least but yah, "can you tell I was surprised?"

 

[lilsparkle825]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

I always find it interesting when white women comment on black hair.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Not surprised.

We (general black women) would kill for their length.

They (general white women) would kill for our bodies and "tanned" skin.

Brazilian want to be skinny like white super models. (Brazil is the 1# user of diet pills)

Asians imitate EVERYBODY.

Its all jealousy and all flattery.

Every culture wants something from the other.

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

I always find it interesting when white women comment on black hair.

My supervisor (from living in dorm rooms and having black roommates) actually had more knowledge than I thought. I was trying to explain to her what a pressing comb was and she was like, "CC, I know what that is." But what I find surprising also is that no one, not white, black or asian people really, truly understand the dynamics of black hair and that it can be long. More effort to retain length but still, it's possible.

Not surprised.

We (general black women) would kill for their length.

They (general white women) would kill for our bodies and "tanned" skin.

Brazilian want to be skinny like white super models. (Brazil is the 1# user of diet pills)

Asians imitate EVERYBODY.

Its all jealousy and all flattery.

Every culture wants something from the other.

You know what I find funny or rather biased? I find it biased that when a white women desires to tan, she is "not trying to look black," yet, when a black women straightens her hair, some claim we are trying to be white. Yet even with most of our hair being straightend it looks nothing like a white women's hair just like most white women don't get the same tone as MOST black women have naturally. Yeah, I've seen black women who do have hair that looks like it could be one a white women and I've seen white women who tan to be my complexion but most of the time, it's not that way.

And everyone does copy off of everyone else but it seems black women tend to get the brunt of the judgment.

 

[lilyofthevalley]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

^^^ Exactly. Black women get accused of trying to be white more so than any other women on earth. Maria, Sue Mai and 'em can get eyelid surgeries and bleach their skin all day long, and no one says anything. But let a black woman relax her hair and she'll be accused of hating herself.

I have an Indian friend who refers to her 3a hair as crappy and gets the Japanese hair straightener because she prefers straight hair. Please tell me why this same girl was trying to be funny asking me why do black women put relaxers in their hair? Are they ashamed of their hair? Do you think it's a sign of them having issues with their race? I looked her dead in the eyes and told her that getting the Japanese hair straightener is the same as getting a relaxer. She shut her mouth right after that. I love that girl but I needed to check her for that.

 

[*Muffin*]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

It was weird how she got on that subject even though the women weren't speaking about your hair in a derrogatory way. It's a shame how much people look down on a black woman's hair

 

[la mosca]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

It was weird how she got on that subject even though the women weren't speaking about your hair in a derrogatory way. It's a shame how much people look down on a black woman's hair

I agree. Kind of sounds to me like she was stirring the pot.

 

[Christelyn]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

In my humble opinion, she was just stating what we know is true (in general). How many threads have I seen about LHCF's getting weave checked, assaulted by scissor-happy stylists and generally hated on by other black women because their hair is long? I don't understand why we find it so astounding and offensive when people outside our race call us on our mess. From what she sees, she just calling it like it is. What's up with the knee-jerk offense for EVERYTHING non-whites say about black hair?

 

[MAMATO]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

My Mexican friend spendas 250$ every six weeks to get her hair curled (I guess some sort of perms) and get her lips reshaped currently...now she wants a bigger booty ...

 

[ladylibra]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

You know what I find funny or rather biased? I find it biased that when a white women desires to tan, she is "not trying to look black," yet, when a black women straightens her hair, some claim we are trying to be white.[/QUOTE]

that's because the history of white people and tanning is more complex than that. Europeans used to rub mercury on their faces to lighten their already pale skin tone... why? because at that time, it was proof that you were part of the aristocracy, you had money because you sat in the castle all day instead of working out in the fields and getting tanned by the sun.

tanning, at least from what i understand in the U.S., became popular when more people were working in offices than in outdoor jobs. if you had the time and money to vacation on some remote tropical island and get a tan doing so... or even spend time and money getting an artificial tan in a bed full of UV lights... it meant something status-wise. nobody wants to look poor and pale

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

^^^ Exactly. Black women get accused of trying to be white more so than any other women on earth. Maria, Sue Mai and 'em can get eyelid surgeries and bleach their skin all day long, and no one says anything. But let a black woman relax her hair and she'll be accused of hating herself.

I have an Indian friend who refers to her 3a hair as crappy and gets the Japanese hair straightener because she prefers straight hair. Please tell me why this same girl was trying to be funny asking me why do black women put relaxers in their hair? Are they ashamed of their hair? Do you think it's a sign of them having issues with their race? I looked her dead in the eyes and told her that getting the Japanese hair straightener is the same as getting a relaxer. She shut her mouth right after that. I love that girl but I needed to check her for that.

Black people can get that thermal straightening thing too. But people tend to do what they think looks best on them...period. For instance, when I am choosing something to enhance my beauty...I ask myself, "Would this look nice and fit me well?"

 

[Christelyn]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

You know what I find funny or rather biased? I find it biased that when a white women desires to tan, she is "not trying to look black," yet, when a black women straightens her hair, some claim we are trying to be white.

that's because the history of white people and tanning is more complex than that. Europeans used to rub mercury on their faces to lighten their already pale skin tone... why? because at that time, it was proof that you were part of the aristocracy, you had money because you sat in the castle all day instead of working out in the fields and getting tanned by the sun.

tanning, at least from what i understand in the U.S., became popular when more people were working in offices than in outdoor jobs. if you had the time and money to vacation on some remote tropical island and get a tan doing so... or even spend time and money getting an artificial tan in a bed full of UV lights... it meant something status-wise. nobody wants to look poor and pale [/QUOTE]

Tanning became popular when Coco Chanel came back from the South of France with tan, then it became all the rage.

 

[lilyofthevalley]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

In my humble opinion, she was just stating what we know is true (in general). How many threads have I seen about LHCF's getting weave checked, assaulted by scissor-happy stylists and generally hated on by other black women because their hair is long? I don't understand why we find it so astounding and offensive when people outside our race call us on our mess. From what she sees, she just calling it like it is. What's up with the knee-jerk offense for EVERYTHING non-whites say about black hair?

From what the OP wrote the black women were not talking bad about her hair. The so called knee jerk response is from her boss assuming that the black women were jealous of her simply because they talked about her hair. If I'm walking down the street and a black woman tells me that my hair looks nice, asks me questions about it, or talks to her friends about my hair without a malicious tone, I don't automatically assume that she is jealous. Long hair is not something that you see on black women every day so it's natural for other black women to be curious or to talk about it IMO.

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

It was weird how she got on that subject even though the women weren't speaking about your hair in a derrogatory way. It's a shame how much people look down on a black woman's hair

I was trying to figure out what made her say that? And I think I was telling her how they were asking why I choose to wear fake hair and then the other black women told the owner, "because she doesn't feel like doing it." But it's so funny when I think about it because they (the white women) were wondering also why I didn't wear my real hair out but they were claiming the other black women - oh, I remember now. They were saying that they (the black women) were asking probably because they wish their hair was that long and were probably jealous because their hair "snaps and breaks off." Her words but I guess she thinks her comment wasn't the same and wouldn't put her in the same boat as being jealous because she already has long hair...so it's okay for her to ask and it not be assumed as her being jealous.

I agree. Kind of sounds to me like she was stirring the pot.

I don't even think she was trying but it's just how she feels. She sees black women as asking why I don't wear my real hair out as a hopeful or wishing, longing "if I had" kind of thing. But she asked the same question and didn't see it that way.

In my humble opinion, she was just stating what we know is true (in general). How many threads have I seen about LHCF's getting weave checked, assaulted by scissor-happy stylists and generally hated on by other black women because their hair is long? I don't understand why we find it so astounding and offensive when people outside our race call us on our mess. From what she sees, she just calling it like it is. What's up with the knee-jerk offense for EVERYTHING non-whites say about black hair?

I believe I had a knee-jerk reaction because a comment like that is not something you would say to a black woman. I didn't think we were "that cool," and secondly, I think white women think most black women and the world want everything they have. Thirdly, I'm not sure if she would have acknowledged the same thing if the issue dealt with white women tanning. She didn't even know if these women had long hair or not but just assumed.

You know what I find funny or rather biased? I find it biased that when a white women desires to tan, she is "not trying to look black," yet, when a black women straightens her hair, some claim we are trying to be white.

that's because the history of white people and tanning is more complex than that. Europeans used to rub mercury on their faces to lighten their already pale skin tone... why? because at that time, it was proof that you were part of the aristocracy, you had money because you sat in the castle all day instead of working out in the fields and getting tanned by the sun.

tanning, at least from what i understand in the U.S., became popular when more people were working in offices than in outdoor jobs. if you had the time and money to vacation on some remote tropical island and get a tan doing so... or even spend time and money getting an artificial tan in a bed full of UV lights... it meant something status-wise. nobody wants to look poor and pale [/quote]


Yes, you are very right. I didn't know about the mercury though. But we don't even have to go to tanning, we can simply look at whites getting perms, or lip injections, or butt implants, etc. These are farely new cosmetic enhancements.

 

[*Muffin*]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

I agree. Kind of sounds to me like she was stirring the pot.

It reminds me of a situation I went through with an elderly white man at starbucks. Mind you I wasn't even talking to him, I was talking with my friend and her aunt about the subject of work and jobs being hard to find. And the elderly white man says "Don't let anything hold you back. You know you can do anything." And at first I was like and "thank you". Then he started saying "And it has nothing to do with color. You guys can do anything nowadays" and I'm like "Uh, ok". Then he goes on a tangent about "Oh, I was born in Africa, you know. My mom had a black housekeeper there, treated her really nice. You know, you should go to Africa to see your people" . Then finally he asks "If you don't have a job, just let your parents take care of you. What about your father? I'm sure he can pay for your schooling" . Long story short, some people try to express their own prejudices in what they think is nice way. You can always tell by their tone of voice. This guy sounded very smart-alecky when talking to me. But then again it could just be a statement she feels is true, no deeper meaning attached, lol.

 

[Shandell]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Not surprised.

We (general black women) would kill for their length.

They (general white women) would kill for our bodies and "tanned" skin.

Brazilian want to be skinny like white super models. (Brazil is the 1# user of diet pills)

Asians imitate EVERYBODY.

Its all jealousy and all flattery.

Every culture wants something from the other.

Ummm... I would have to disagree with the bolded. Kill for their length...no it is never that serious. Speaking for myself jealousy is a no, no. And as far as every culture wanting something from the other that is not necessarily true because some cultures embrace every aspect of their appearance, including their hair.

 

[Carrie A]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Well I guess I'm brand new on this one, because I didn't realize that other folk had so much to say about our hair. I've never heard anyone act as an authority on Black hair but Black folk.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Interesting that the OP's supervisor assumed the negative when that wasn't necessarily the case. Sounds like she's trying to play good against bad Negra.

To the rest of the thread - I don't know about white women as a group desiring black women's bodies or "tan" skin (esp. since most BW aren't "tan" in that way ). That doesn't bother me because with or without their envy, I still love being a BW.

I'm going to say I think it is more of a one way street. Asians, blacks, non-white Latinos, etc. are privy to the glorification of a white beauty ideals. I don't see them trying to get kinky hair or rock NC50 foundation as much as I see Asian women rocking blue contacts, black women obsessed with straight hair, light skin, etc. etc.. I know few WW trying to marry black so they can procure "good" hurr, curvy bodies, or dark skin for their progeny. The vast majority of WW are not rocking butt implants nor lip injections and that is a fairly recent trend anyway.
So nahhh, to my view breaking it down to a "the grass is always greener on the other side" is a comforting oversimplification.

 

[supermodelsonya]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Im jealous of ANYONE with long hair....

 

[supermodelsonya]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Ummm... I would have to disagree with the bolded. Kill for their length...no it is never that serious. Speaking for myself jealousy is a no, no. And as far as every culture wanting something from the other that is not necessarily true because some cultures embrace every aspect of their appearance, including their hair.

Hi....I don't think the poster was speaking literally about "killing for one's length" more metaphorically.

I think everyone, regardless of race, appreciates the differences that we have but also look at other races and make comparisons....which is totally natural and human.

That's also why she put "general" in bold because she wasn't speaking for everyone...although I, personally, am not speaking for the poster. LOL

 

[ladylibra]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Yes, you are very right. I didn't know about the mercury though. But we don't even have to go to tanning, we can simply look at whites getting perms, or lip injections, or butt implants, etc. These are farely new cosmetic enhancements.

i respectfully disagree. when they were starving themselves thin (or snorting themselves thin with coke ) and now that they try to "embrace their curves," i don't see it having anything to do with us. more of following a beauty trend. just like they flat iron their hair pin straight as much as they perm for body and texture.

some things we have influenced, no doubt. but i don't think it's to the degree that they really wanna be us or have exactly what we have. (at least not the majority of them)

i know, i'm getting off topic i swear i'm going to bed now...

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

It reminds me of a situation I went through with an elderly white man at starbucks. Mind you I wasn't even talking to him, I was talking with my friend and her aunt about the subject of work and jobs being hard to find. And the elderly white man says "Don't let anything hold you back. You know you can do anything." And at first I was like and "thank you". Then he started saying "And it has nothing to do with color. You guys can do anything nowadays" and I'm like "Uh, ok". Then he goes on a tangent about "Oh, I was born in Africa, you know. My mom had a black housekeeper there, treated her really nice. You know, you should go to Africa to see your people" . Then finally he asks "If you don't have a job, just let your parents take care of you. What about your father? I'm sure he can pay for your schooling" . Long story short, some people try to express their own prejudices in what they think is nice way. You can always tell by their tone of voice. This guy sounded very smart-alecky when talking to me. But then again it could just be a statement she feels is true, no deeper meaning attached, lol.

Well, I mean that could be the case. But I wouldn't automatically assume someone's jealous, especially if I've never met them. It was just weird that she'd come to that assumption but I guess hindsight has told her that most black women can't grow their hair long. Long hair is coveted in our culture, so she thinks that they (these women she never met) want it.

I don't know I just want people to stop assuming things but it is true that most black women don't have long hair. Jealousy seems a overstated IMO.

Well I guess I'm brand new on this one, because I didn't realize that other folk had so much to say about our hair. I've never heard anyone act as an authority on Black hair but Black folk.

I guess it comes into play when you get a little too chummy-chum with some folks.

Interesting that the OP's supervisor assumed the negative when that wasn't necessarily the case. Sounds like she's trying to play good against bad Negra.

To the rest of the thread - I don't know about white women as a group desiring black women's bodies or "tan" skin (esp. since most BW aren't "tan" in that way ). That doesn't bother me because with or without their envy, I still love being a BW.

I'm going to say I think it is more of a one way street. Asians, blacks, non-white Latinos, etc. are privy to the glorification of a white beauty ideals. I don't see them trying to get kinky hair or rock NC50 foundation as much as I see Asian women rocking blue contacts, black women obsessed with straight hair, light skin, etc. etc.. I know few WW trying to marry black so they can procure "good" hurr, curvy bodies, or dark skin for their progeny.
So nahhh, to my view breaking it down to a "the grass is always greener on the other side" is a comforting oversimplification.

Well, I've seen white women get to my complexion...and most of the time when they tan it's darker. I think you are right...we are privy to that and which is why I think she saw nothing wrong with her saying her statement. "As if, why would I be jealous of a black girl with long hair; I have it myself."

But when comparing white women getting kinky hair, I don't think it's apples and oranges. I believe that most black women get relaxers for managability. That's how most black women think there hair is easier to deal with and if it were the case of simply shadowing white women, I wouldn't see black women with relaxers and curly, kinky or straight up afrom looking extensions and pony tails. Then you have to consider that most black women aren't walking around with really blonde hair and blue eyes...for the most part they try to find something that compliments them and are just experimenting.

I do think it could be partially "the grass is greener on the other side" and also "Western socialization" at the same time. And for some people it may just be the one or the other or neither.

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Hi....I don't think the OP was speaking literally about "killing for one's length" more metaphorically.

I think everyone, regardless of race, appreciates the differences that we have but also look at other races and make comparisons....which is totally natural and human.

That's also why she put "general" in bold because she wasn't speaking for everyone...although I, personally, am not speaking for the OP. LOL

that was a response to me (the OP).

 

[supermodelsonya]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

that was a response to me (the OP).

I'm sorry..I was quoting prettyfaceANB....

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

i respectfully disagree. when they were starving themselves thin (or snorting themselves thin with coke ) and now that they try to "embrace their curves," i don't see it having anything to do with us. more of following a beauty trend. just like they flat iron their hair pin straight as much as they perm for body and texture.

some things we have influenced, no doubt. but i don't think it's to the degree that they really wanna be us or have exactly what we have. (at least not the majority of them)

i know, i'm getting off topic i swear i'm going to bed now...

I've never heard a WW tell her child that they would look so much better with kinky hair nor do I see millions of WW trying to get their hair kinky. They don't have terms like "black girl swang" or "good hair". Folks keep saying they perm as proof that this is a two way street of mutual emulation. Well I don't know too many BW with naturally loosely curled hair, sooo

What I see whites most emulate is cultural ideals, hair aside, but we don't want to be given credit for that. Blk ppl are still embarrassed, confused or utterly dismissive towards the idea of "black culture". Which is a totally different topic

 

[chicacanella]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

i respectfully disagree. when they were starving themselves thin (or snorting themselves thin with coke ) and now that they try to "embrace their curves," i don't see it having anything to do with us. more of following a beauty trend. just like they flat iron their hair pin straight as much as they perm for body and texture.

some things we have influenced, no doubt. but i don't think it's to the degree that they really wanna be us or have exactly what we have. (at least not the majority of them)

i know, i'm getting off topic i swear i'm going to bed now...

Oh no, I never believed they wanted to be us!

But what I am comparing is that when black women employ certain cosmetic enhancements and white women do also, we tend to be more scrutinized as trying to be something else or like someone else. When I make social comparisions it isn't that I necessarily believe in either side or extreme, but I try to look at something comparable which was the collagen lip injections, etc. All I'm saying is that it is definitely biased that black women are accused of wanting to be white for certain enhancements, while the same is not applied to a comparable white enhancement.

Do I believe this comparison that I am talking about...that white women want to be like us. Never have but it's interesting to say the least.

 

[HairBarbie]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

She's trying to separate y'all into the house Negroes vs. the field Negroes.

 

[NikStarrr]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

And everyone does copy off of everyone else but it seems black women tend to get the brunt of the judgment.

We get the brunt of the judgment within our own community--within our own dialogue with each other. We have no real idea, what is going on in white world either. I've heard other white ppl accuse other whites of "trying to be black"--so I know it happens. But, a las, I'm not white and surrounded by whites all the time, and thus have no full knowledge of their "inside" conversations.

 

[Almaz]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

She did not even have to say that. She could have kept THAT SHYTE to herself. I mean WHY. Are you trying to be cool or you think that you are so DOWN that you can say that

Not appropriate

 

[Auburn]

Re: Says My White Supervisor About Other Black Women, "They're Just Jealous of Your H

Not surprised.

We (general black women) would kill for their length.

They (general white women) would kill for our bodies and "tanned" skin.

Brazilian want to be skinny like white super models. (Brazil is the 1# user of diet pills)

Asians imitate EVERYBODY.

Its all jealousy and all flattery.

Every culture wants something from the other.

Hence the reason so many CLAIM that they're "mixed"