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white hairstylist to me: "you need a relaxer"

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lilsparkle825

lilsparkle825

New Member
i went to hair cuttery today to get a trim...i straightened my hair for graduation and just couldn't take my ends anymore. i get there, sign in, and a white girl is the first stylist open. i thought that was alright, and i went to sit down. i told her i just wanted a TRIM, as in NOT A CUT, as in people-always-take-too-much off, and she said "ok, so just the ends?" why come (yeah, i said it) 2 minutes later she was asking me if i wanted layers?! i looked at her and said NO, i don't have them and i don't want them, i cut all my hair off last summer and how it grew back is just how it grew back, because i wear it in a curly puff most of the time anyway. i emphasized that i didn't want a blunt cut yet. she agrees, and then she parted my hair in 4 sections, looked at my roots, and goes, "hmph...you need a relaxer!"

:look:

my brain is going a mile a minute...so i say to myself "i know i just told her i'm natural...but maybe she didn't hear me..." so i say NO, i DON'T need a relaxer, i just cut all the relaxer out of my hair, why would i want another one? then she says "OHHH, you flat ironed it? oh, this is all natural? oh, how long did it take you to grow it this long?" what a doofus. and then on top of that, she still took off a little bit more than i wanted, although i'm ok with that to some extent. and yes, it is a blunt cut. if it had cost me any more than $5 i would have been some kind of upset.

digging through all the BS to get to the sunshine-y conclusion: at least when i am APL again (maybe a month or two?) it will be full APL.
 
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She probably heard black stylists say that before. So many stylists if they even see a kink automatically say " You need a relaxer".
 
The woman needs more experience. Glad you were assertive with your needs and you have had some great growth in a few months-keep up that regimen..it's working well.
 
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Bosinse said:
She probably heard black stylists say that before. So many stylists if they even see a kink automatically say " You need a relaxer".
Click to expand...
and that's what i was HOPING...she was trying to be funny and/or make a helpful suggestion and FAILED. i feel like if i did need a relaxer i would know, being that it's my head and my hair.
 
See and I was thinking of going to the Hair Cuttery to get my ends trimmed at some point. I'm not natural but texlaxed. I'm thinking so I won't have to show my a$$ that I will just let my friend do it.
 
Shay72 said:
See and I was thinking of going to the Hair Cuttery to get my ends trimmed at some point. I'm not natural but texlaxed. I'm thinking so I won't have to show my a$$ that I will just let my friend do it.
Click to expand...
:lachen:

i went there because i have a friend who is bsl and that's where she goes to get her trims. i've heard from a few people who have all had different stylists that they were satisfied with the outcome, which is why i went there.
 
lilsparkle825 said:
:lachen:

i went there because i have a friend who is bsl and that's where she goes to get her trims. i've heard from a few people who have all had different stylists that they were satisfied with the outcome, which is why i went there.
Click to expand...

Okay so it seems it is just her then.
 
I would have been extreeeemly nervous letting her cut my hair. Knowing me, I probably would have went off when she said that relaxer BS.
 
Devil's Advocate: Would you have been just as outraged had a black stylist said the same thing? Is it somehow more offensive coming from her? If so, why?
 
Christelyn said:
Devil's Advocate: Would you have been just as outraged had a black stylist said the same thing? Is it somehow more offensive coming from her? If so, why?
Click to expand...
I would have been mad, yes, but not as mad. I feel like the comment insinuated that my roots are thick and therefore nappy and/or unmanageable. I still think she was trying to say it to relate to me, or at least relate to me as a black woman, and show that she knows a little somethin somethin about black hair.
 
I was thinking she had never or rarely seen a woman with natural hair as long as yours, so she just presumed it was relaxed instead of flat ironed/pressed. I don't think she was trying to insult you; I think she was trying to up-sell you - a girl trying to make some money.
 
For $5, I'm impressed that this white girl even knew what a relaxer was. I think if it was one of those $70 dollar haircuts, I'd probably be more offended.
 
lilsparkle825 said:
i went to hair cuttery today to get a trim...i straightened my hair for graduation and just couldn't take my ends anymore. i get there, sign in, and a white girl is the first stylist open. i thought that was alright, and i went to sit down. i told her i just wanted a TRIM, as in NOT A CUT, as in people-always-take-too-much off, and she said "ok, so just the ends?" why come (yeah, i said it) 2 minutes later she was asking me if i wanted layers?! i looked at her and said NO, i don't have them and i don't want them, i cut all my hair off last summer and how it grew back is just how it grew back, because i wear it in a curly puff most of the time anyway. i emphasized that i didn't want a blunt cut yet. she agrees, and then she parted my hair in 4 sections, looked at my roots, and goes, "hmph...you need a relaxer!"

:look:

my brain is going a mile a minute...so i say to myself "i know i just told her i'm natural...but maybe she didn't hear me..." so i say NO, i DON'T need a relaxer, i just cut all the relaxer out of my hair, why would i want another one? then she says "OHHH, you flat ironed it? oh, this is all natural? oh, how long did it take you to grow it this long?" what a doofus. and then on top of that, she still took off a little bit more than i wanted, although i'm ok with that to some extent. and yes, it is a blunt cut. if it had cost me any more than $5 i would have been some kind of upset.

digging through all the BS to get to the sunshine-y conclusion: at least when i am APL again (maybe a month or two?) it will be full APL.
Click to expand...

That "stylist" appeared to be a little ignorant to me. I wouldn't have let her cut my hair.:nono:
 
newflowers said:
I was thinking she had never or rarely seen a woman with natural hair as long as yours, so she just presumed it was relaxed instead of flat ironed/pressed. I don't think she was trying to insult you; I think she was trying to up-sell you - a girl trying to make some money.
Click to expand...
this is one of the millions of thoughts that passed through my mind. and i wonder what her relaxer application technique would have been like had i been relaxed and agreed to let her do it...
 
The Dominican stylists tend to act the same way. They see just a little bit of new growth and its: "Ooooooh mami, mami you need perm mami..."

Did I ask you for a relaxer?? No, what I need is for you to keep your suggestions to youself, rollerset my hair and take the $20 I am paying you for it.
 
see this why i cant deal with a stylist you said trim nothing about touch up or a relaxer why point that out she should have given you what you asked for thats it nothing more
 
Just do your own hair and forget about those stupid people they only learn so much in Beauty school and even if they had 200 years of experience they will still be reaching for the TCB Perm
 
Bosinse said:
She probably heard black stylists say that before. So many stylists if they even see a kink automatically say " You need a relaxer".
Click to expand...

If that is not the truth then I don't know what is.:yep: When I was relaxing I heard this every single time.:perplexed
 
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