Awww come on lets finish the discussion! It was civil!

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I screamed laughin at this.

Foolish I say!

BTW - I meant to tell ya I dig the hair cut.



What I think is different about this thread is that there are quite a few people posting who were natural - went through the stages of being natural that other people did, but our natural experience doesn't seem to count because we ended it.

Damn! Say it again

 

[gabulldawg]

It's always been a competition...no matter what state your hair is in it don't mean a thang if you ain't got that swang.

But WHO'S making it a competition?? Speaking for the relaxed heads, I don't recall us bashing naturals. If it's not for us, it just isn't. Doesn't mean it can't work for someone else. Naturals always seem to be the ones that want to pull the "self-hate" card, and throw low blows about relaxed hair, and how we must be trying to be "white" because we want straight hair ...

 

[gabulldawg]

It wouldn't have to go on forever if people would just stop acting petty. And just because you go through a lot because of your hair, doesn't mean that you have the right to try to torture others because of how you feel.

Some of you naturals act like bullies that try to put other people (relaxed haired people) down, so that you'll feel better about yourselves.

Which, IMO, is SO ironic, since relaxed hair is frequently equated with self-hatred...

 

[msa]

It wouldn't have to go on forever if people would just stop acting petty. And just because you go through a lot because of your hair, doesn't mean that you have the right to try to torture others because of how you feel.

Some of you naturals act like bullies that try to put other people (relaxed haired people) down, so that you'll feel better about yourselves.

I personally haven't tortured anyone. I gave my opinion on a discussion question. How am I a bully? I haven't put anyone down, at least I haven't tried to. If I have then it's been unintentional. And why would I need to put someone down to feel good about myself? Just like you like your hair, I like mine and I won't apologize for that.

But WHO'S making it a competition?? Speaking for the relaxed heads, I don't recall us bashing naturals. If it's not for us, it just isn't. Doesn't mean it can't work for someone else. Naturals always seem to be the ones that want to pull the "self-hate" card, and throw low blows about relaxed hair, and how we must be trying to be "white" because we want straight hair ...

I was really joking. Next time I will add the appropriate smiley.

I have NEVER said that relaxing means that someone suffers from self-hate. In fact, I've posted numerous times that relaxing does not equal self-hate. I've said it over and over again. I have not made any blows, low or otherwise, about relaxed hair. And I definitely haven't said anything about someone trying to be white because they want straight hair. Those were not things that I added to this conversation at all.

I don't see why it's so hard to understand that just because I have an opinion that celebrates natural hair that I'm not being negative towards or putting down relaxed hair at the same time. I make a conscious effort not to say anything negative about relaxed hair on this board or anywhere else for that matter.

Let me make it clear again:

1. I do not think relaxing equals self-hate or that staying natural equals self-love. I don't think those labels are appropriate in this type of debate.

2. I do not think relaxed hair is ugly (well, unless it actually is) or that natural hair is somehow inherently better just because it's natural.

3. I do not think that people who stay natural are better than people who relax. Individuals make different choices. That's all there is to it. I may have a specific opinion about those choices, but I don't either makes someone better than the next person.

 

[LivingDol1]

hmm.. i missed this one. darn.

who cares about having relaxed hair or being natural anyway? it's a style choice or some find one way easier for them than the other way. it's just a choice.

and why is it such a big deal in the black community? we aren't the only ones who relax our hair you know. i don't hear curly haired jewish people whining about who relaxes and who doesn't. who's keeping it real and who's trying to be something they aren't... sheesh.

hug it out!

that's my 2 cents. exiting thread.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Lol, I noticed you mentioned it over and over.

This debate is pointless because people are going to continue misinterpret what is being said here. That's why I said earlier that the relaxed head are talking to themselves and the natural heads are talking to themselves.

It's gotten to the point of ridiculous. Some of the posts don't even make sense (logical or grammatical), so it's just getting hilarious now. Let's just drop it. This is obviously not the place to be having serious discussions about societal issues.

I personally haven't tortured anyone. I gave my opinion on a discussion question. How am I a bully? I haven't put anyone down, at least I haven't tried to. If I have then it's been unintentional. And why would I need to put someone down to feel good about myself? Just like you like your hair, I like mine and I won't apologize for that.



I was really joking. Next time I will add the appropriate smiley.

I have NEVER said that relaxing means that someone suffers from self-hate. In fact, I've posted numerous times that relaxing does not equal self-hate. I've said it over and over again. I have not made any blows, low or otherwise, about relaxed hair. And I definitely haven't said anything about someone trying to be white because they want straight hair. Those were not things that I added to this conversation at all.

I don't see why it's so hard to understand that just because I have an opinion that celebrates natural hair that I'm not being negative towards or putting down relaxed hair at the same time. I make a conscious effort not to say anything negative about relaxed hair on this board or anywhere else for that matter.

Let me make it clear again:

1. I do not think relaxing equals self-hate or that staying natural equals self-love. I don't think those labels are appropriate in this type of debate.

2. I do not think relaxed hair is ugly (well, unless it actually is) or that natural hair is somehow inherently better just because it's natural.

3. I do not think that people who stay natural are better than people who relax. Individuals make different choices. That's all there is to it. I may have a specific opinion about those choices, but I don't either makes someone better than the next person.

 

[gabulldawg]

I personally haven't tortured anyone. I gave my opinion on a discussion question. How am I a bully? I haven't put anyone down, at least I haven't tried to. If I have then it's been unintentional. And why would I need to put someone down to feel good about myself? Just like you like your hair, I like mine and I won't apologize for that.



I was really joking. Next time I will add the appropriate smiley.

I have NEVER said that relaxing means that someone suffers from self-hate. In fact, I've posted numerous times that relaxing does not equal self-hate. I've said it over and over again. I have not made any blows, low or otherwise, about relaxed hair. And I definitely haven't said anything about someone trying to be white because they want straight hair. Those were not things that I added to this conversation at all.

I don't see why it's so hard to understand that just because I have an opinion that celebrates natural hair that I'm not being negative towards or putting down relaxed hair at the same time. I make a conscious effort not to say anything negative about relaxed hair on this board or anywhere else for that matter.

Let me make it clear again:

1. I do not think relaxing equals self-hate or that staying natural equals self-love. I don't think those labels are appropriate in this type of debate.

2. I do not think relaxed hair is ugly (well, unless it actually is) or that natural hair is somehow inherently better just because it's natural.

3. I do not think that people who stay natural are better than people who relax. Individuals make different choices. That's all there is to it. I may have a specific opinion about those choices, but I don't either makes someone better than the next person.

YOU may not have said it or insinuated it, but there are those that have. It's all good, though. If I was unsure or unhappy with my choice I guess it would bother me, but I will stick by my choice to relax probably until the day I die. Relaxed hair works for me and my lifestyle.

 

[msa]

Lol, I noticed you mentioned it over and over.

This debate is pointless because people are going to continue misinterpret what is being said here. That's why I said earlier that the relaxed head are talking to themselves and the natural heads are talking to themselves.

It's gotten to the point of ridiculous. Some of the posts don't even make sense (logical or grammatical), so it's just getting hilarious now. Let's just drop it. This is obviously not the place to be having serious discussions about societal issues.

It's gotten far past ridiculous at this point.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

msa, i have a new found respect for you You're a scrappy one aren't you?

 

[msa]

msa, i have a new found respect for you You're a scrappy one aren't you?

Always have been and always will be. I'm like a pit bull, once my jaws lock shut, I ain't lettin' go.

 

[Mortons]

YOU may not have said it or insinuated it, but there are those that have. It's all good, though. If I was unsure or unhappy with my choice I guess it would bother me, but I will stick by my choice to relax probably until the day I die. Relaxed hair works for me and my lifestyle.

Can you or someone quote those people? I missed it.

 

[BostonMaria]

what was the question again?

I didn't see the first thread so I have absolutely no idea

 

[gabulldawg]

Can you or someone quote those people? I missed it.

Do you really expect me to go back through this long arse thread to find some quotes?

 

[Junebug D]

Most pointless discussion ever. No one on a hair board who hopefully is fully aware of what they are doing to their hair for whatever reasons, (who cares about Hairgal215695221457822 who's been on LHCF, NP, and everywhere else and should know better; it's the ones who don't know any better that need the discussion) is going to change their minds on this subject. No one. Or at least they won't state it publicly in a thread like this.

Circular firing squad much? Really?

(Haha, how timely. they're doing a segment on Black women's hair on my local news right now. Apparently 30% of black women said they do not exercise because of "hair management"-- i.e. fearful that it will revert.)

 

[msa]

Can you or someone quote those people? I missed it.

I've gone back through and I haven't found a natural that said relaxing=self-hate. But I could have missed something.

I didn't see the first thread so I have absolutely no idea

I recapped on the first page.

 

[LaidBak]

It's always been a competition...no matter what state your hair is in it don't mean a thang if you ain't got that swang.

Wow, sweatheart....really? I am relaxed and the thought of a competition made me laugh out loud, until I realized how sad it sounded.

So you think there is a competition, and you think naturals always lose. So what if I throw in the bit about how 3C/3B naturals always win over relaxed heads? Cause where I grew up (Cali) "mixed hair" was always better.

Tosses grenade and walks away....

 

[Denise11]

Always have been and always will be. I'm like a pit bull, once my jaws lock shut, I ain't lettin' go.

You're not a pit bull, you only think you are. You didn't say anything that was so tough.

 

[Mortons]

Do you really expect me to go back through this long arse thread to find some quotes?

If they exist and are truly the source of outrage, yes.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Wow, sweatheart....really? I am relaxed and the thought of a competition made me laugh out loud, until I realized how sad it sounded.

So you think there is a competition, and you think naturals always lose. So what if I throw in the bit about how 3C/3B naturals always win over relaxed heads? Cause where I grew up (Cali) "mixed hair" was always better.

Tosses grenade and walks away....

You missed the part where she said she was joking about that.

 

[Mortons]

I've gone back through and I haven't found a natural that said relaxing=self-hate. But I could have missed something.



I recapped on the first page.

I'm on page 11 and so far nothing.

 

[msa]

Wow, sweatheart....really? I am relaxed and the thought of a competition made me laugh out loud, until I realized how sad it sounded.

So you think there is a competition, and you think naturals always lose. So what if I throw in the bit about how 3C/3B naturals always win over relaxed heads? Cause where I grew up (Cali) "mixed hair" was always better.

Tosses grenade and walks away....

I was actually really joking. Let me go back and edit my post. I don't use smilies enough so no one knows when I'm joking and when I'm being serious.

And everyone knows 3b/3c naturals win over everyone...see joking!

You're not a pit bull, you only think you are. You didn't say anything that was so tough.

I don't actually think I'm a pit bull, nor was I trying to be "tough". I was just using that image as a comparison for what I was doing which was holding on to one idea and not letting it go no matter what. Just like how pit bulls will bite something and you can't pry their teeth apart no matter what you do.

 

[Poranges]

LET LIVE YA'LL, THERE IS BETTER THINGS WE COULD BE DOING, PROMOTING A CAUSE FOR BREAST CANCER AND/OR AIDS...SIGNING A WORTHWHILE PETITION...HELPING ORPHANS!!!

I DON'T CAAAARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME AND MY HAIR...YOU SHOULDN'T TOO!!! DIE THREAD! PLEASE DIE! :gotroasted:

 

[LaidBak]

You missed the part where she said she was joking about that.

I didn't miss it. It was edited in as I was writing my reply.

 

[msa]

I didn't miss it. It was edited in as I was writing my reply.

Yup my bad.

I realize because of this thread I need to make it clear when I'm joking. Sometimes I say things just to be ridiculous. I need to think before I type.

 

[BotanyGrl]

You're not a pit bull, you only think you are. You didn't say anything that was so tough.

The above comment is just plain rude.

Now back on topic...

First, I don't care what others do with their hair. As long as you're happy... Do You!

Personally, I had one of those revelation moments similar to Lauren (Southernbella) and decided to transition. Continuing to relax my hair just isn't for me. Before I made the decision to transition, I thought relaxing was a style choice as well... But the women on LHCF are not the norm and I honestly believe that majority of Black women in the real world don't relax their hair because it's a "style choice". The women I know in real life (and this crosses socio-economic levels) relax because they don't believe their natural hair is beautiful.

This hair thing is that deep. It may not be for majority of the relaxed women on LHCF who know how to care for their hair, but for Black women outside of this board it is. We can't compare ourselves to white women who color or throw a curly perm in their hair. It's not the same. No matter how many times someone brings it up, it just can't compare.

Shaving our heads when we stepped foot (before getting on too) off those boats automatically stripped us of our identities. Yes, hair was that serious even 300-400 years ago... I digress. It's too damn late

 

[LisaLisa1908]

msa, it's difficult to think you're "joking" about some of your commentary when you have what you have in your siggy.

Just a thought.

 

[Denise11]

So.....?

There's a lot of things said in this thread that's rude. Did you really think that this thread was nice?

The above comment is just plain rude.

Now back on topic...

First, I don't care what others do with their hair. As long as you're happy... Do You!

Personally, I had one of those revelation moments similar to Lauren (Southernbella) and decided to transition. Continuing to relax my hair just isn't for me. Before I made the decision to transition, I thought relaxing was a style choice as well... But the women on LHCF are not the norm and I honestly believe that majority of Black women in the real world don't relax their hair because it's a "style choice". The women I know in real life (and this crosses socio-economic levels) relax because they don't believe their natural hair is beautiful.

This hair thing is that deep. It may not be for majority of the relaxed women on LHCF who know how to care for their hair, but for Black women outside of this board it is. We can't compare ourselves to white women who color or throw a curly perm in their hair. It's not the same. No matter how many times someone brings it up, it just can't compare.

Shaving our heads when we stepped foot (before getting on too) off those boats automatically stripped us of our identities. Yes, hair was that serious even 300-400 years ago... I digress. It's too damn late

 

[PinkSkates]

I personally haven't tortured anyone. I gave my opinion on a discussion question. How am I a bully? I haven't put anyone down, at least I haven't tried to. If I have then it's been unintentional. And why would I need to put someone down to feel good about myself? Just like you like your hair, I like mine and I won't apologize for that.



I was really joking. Next time I will add the appropriate smiley.

I have NEVER said that relaxing means that someone suffers from self-hate. In fact, I've posted numerous times that relaxing does not equal self-hate. I've said it over and over again. I have not made any blows, low or otherwise, about relaxed hair. And I definitely haven't said anything about someone trying to be white because they want straight hair. Those were not things that I added to this conversation at all.

I don't see why it's so hard to understand that just because I have an opinion that celebrates natural hair that I'm not being negative towards or putting down relaxed hair at the same time. I make a conscious effort not to say anything negative about relaxed hair on this board or anywhere else for that matter.

Let me make it clear again:

1. I do not think relaxing equals self-hate or that staying natural equals self-love. I don't think those labels are appropriate in this type of debate.

2. I do not think relaxed hair is ugly (well, unless it actually is) or that natural hair is somehow inherently better just because it's natural.

3. I do not think that people who stay natural are better than people who relax. Individuals make different choices. That's all there is to it. I may have a specific opinion about those choices, but I don't either makes someone better than the next person.

Originally posted by msa
I love the way you put that. I can say that the bolded is true for myself, even though I've never had a relaxer. All I knew was pressing/wraps and braids, no one ever taught me anything else about my hair so it took until the middle of college before it dawned on me that there were other things I could do with it.

But, I think there are a number of women who dislike their natural hair and relax to get rid of it. Considering some of the things relaxed heads on this board say, I don't know how it can be denied that for some people relaxing is indicative of self-dislike.

Hey ladies, I think the above statement that msa made in the original thread, the one that Jadore(sp?) started yesterday, is what started the 'self-hatred' argument. msa used the term "self-dislike'.

 

[Kurlee]

The above comment is just plain rude.

Now back on topic...

First, I don't care what others do with their hair. As long as you're happy... Do You!

Personally, I had one of those revelation moments similar to Lauren (Southernbella) and decided to transition. Continuing to relax my hair just isn't for me. Before I made the decision to transition, I thought relaxing was a style choice as well... But the women on LHCF are not the norm and I honestly believe that majority of Black women in the real world don't relax their hair because it's a "style choice". The women I know in real life (and this crosses socio-economic levels) relax because they don't believe their natural hair is beautiful.

This hair thing is that deep. It may not be for majority of the relaxed women on LHCF who know how to care for their hair, but for Black women outside of this board it is. We can't compare ourselves to white women who color or throw a curly perm in their hair. It's not the same. No matter how many times someone brings it up, it just can't compare.

Shaving our heads when we stepped foot (before getting on too) off those boats automatically stripped us of our identities. Yes, hair was that serious even 300-400 years ago... I digress. It's too damn late

I read a book a few years ago that discusses the whole hair issue, going back to pre-slavery. It has pictures and sketches and it seems our hair has always been that deep. Back in Africa, different tribes used to distinguish themselves by their hairstyles. People of different "ranks" and statuses like royalty vs regular folk, married vs. unmarried, etc. The book was pretty cool and the hairstyles were kinda cool. Lots of canerows and twists and all kinds of cool shapes and the hair was pretty long too. It showed me that our affection for our hair goes waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy back.

 

[msa]

msa, it's difficult to think you're "joking" about some of your commentary when you have what you have in your siggy.

Just a thought.

Well the question in my siggy is just something I'm contemplating right now. But, I will be making it clear when I'm joking from now on so that there's no confusion.

So.....?

There's a lot of things said in this thread that's rude. Did you really think that this thread was nice?

Denise, I just went back through this thread and I couldn't find anywhere that I was being rude. But I understand that everyone perceives things differently and that tone does not translate well into type, so I apologize if anything I said to you was rude or mean. It was definitely not intentional.

Hey ladies, I think the above statement that msa made in the original thread, the one that Jadore(sp?) started yesterday, is what started the 'self-hatred' argument. msa used the term "self-dislike'.

Yes, I did use the term "self-dislike", but I never used the term "self-hatred". As I keep saying, it's inappropriate for this debate. Also, as it shows in that quote I said that some people who relax probably had an issue with self-dislike, not all.

And, the "self-hatred" argument definitely predates me.