Awww come on lets finish the discussion! It was civil!

[missann]

It's a term coined by members of Nappturality for wearing the hair in it's natural state with no altering of texture via heat straightening.

Right. It's also a state of mind which doesn't elevate looser curls and appreciates all kinky hair types.

 

[Poranges]

Militant relaxed heads?

Surely you jest.

They'd be labelled self-haters even before they got the word 'militant' out of their mouths

I still don't see how a preference for straight hair=hate...I'm in agreement with you..not everybody wants to be cool and curly..some people just want to be sleek and straight Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can't love straight huuuurrrr.

 

[Bint Yusef]

I'm pretty sure I'm one of those nappy nazis who gave up relaxers and all of a sudden became enlightened.

Nothing wrong with that. I dont know why folks try to make that out to be a bad thing. You came to a realization about socio/historical/political context of your hair choice. What is wrong with that? Plus the hair is gawjus! Am I allowed to compliment you?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

bwahahahahahahahaahha I was trying to not say anything about that!!!

 

[msa]

I'm pretty sure I'm one of those nappy nazis who gave up relaxers and all of a sudden became enlightened.

LOL. I'm glad I got to skip that since I've never had a relaxer. Maybe I became enlightened when I stopped pressing.

There they have napptural...natural
Here there is relaxed....texlaxed

Hmmm. Well, either your hair is natural, meaning the texture/color are the same as they grew out of your scalp, or you're not.

That's just my opinion.

 

[Southernbella.]

Militant relaxed heads?

Surely you jest.

They'd be labelled self-haters even before they got the word 'militant' out of their mouths

What do you consider militant?

 

[Southernbella.]

Nothing wrong with that. I dont know why folks try to make that out to be a bad thing. You came to a realization about socio/historical/political context of your hair choice. What is wrong with that? Plus the hair is gawjus! Am I allowed to compliment you?

Thank you.

I agree with you. I don't think it's a bad thing either, especially since it often happens in reverse. Naturals relax and have an epiphany about all the wonderful things they can do with their hair and talk about how much happier they are and nobody bats an eye. Why can't it be the same when it's the other way around?

 

[Summer_Rain]

so that just goes to show you that black women have issues when it comes to hair all the way around. a lot of them would rather keep getting relaxers and weaves , thinking that will fix their hair problems. chemicals, straightening, combing is what causes the most damage. we are in the habit of trying to manipulate our hair into something that it constantly fights against. when you have relaxed or heat treated hair, you literally have to walk on eggshells to keep it from falling out of your head.

Well I agree that unhealthy hair practices will inevitably lead to damage. But there are plenty of healthy relaxed heads and there are tons of naturals here whos hair has been but two snaps long despite years of being chemical free.

IMHO - going natural isn't the cure-all to damaged hair. If someone doesn't know what to do with their hair in a so called manageable state, they certainly won't know what to do when it's in the opposite.

 

[msa]

Thank you.

I agree with you. I don't think it's a bad thing either, especially since it often happens in reverse. Naturals relax and have an epiphany about all the wonderful things they can do with their hair and talk about how much happier they are and nobody bats an eye. Why can't it be the same when it's the other way around?

Because the moment after you cut off your relaxed ends you mount your high horse named Nappy Militant.

 

[lynndiallo]

Natural 4ab here! Hasn't been any problem for me, just a bit of shea butter and I'm good to go.

 

[Carrie A]

I'd be quite interested to know the hair type of the natural militants.

For obvious reasons.

Thing is that when your're relaxed and if you have been relaxed or straightened for most of your life you don't have much idea what your hair is going to be like..your "type". The decision to wear the hair naturally is is made when the hair is still relaxed. That decision is based on certain reasons. The reasons don't really change once the hair is all natural regardless of type. So I think the questions asked are valid coming from any head of hair.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Thank you.

I agree with you. I don't think it's a bad thing either, especially since it often happens in reverse. Naturals relax and have an epiphany about all the wonderful things they can do with their hair and talk about how much happier they are and nobody bats an eye. Why can't it be the same when it's the other way around?

When I cut off all my hair(down to .25 inch) I was on NC, before NP got started and Deecoily took us all over to NP a few months later after she got fed up with the clear folk. So I came of age when NP was a brand new yahoo group...so that colors my perception. Despite my hairtype(which folks unknowingly reinforce the premium they place on hair types by trying to strong arm folks out of the convo based on their hair type) I am so glad for NP and the time I spent over there. Dont allow anyone to make you feel bad about being able to see thru this hair game. I was going to go back to relaxing last year, but glad I came to my senses.

 

[msa]

I still don't see how a preference for straight hair=hate...I'm in agreement with you..not everybody wants to be cool and curly..some people just want to be sleek and straight Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can't love straight huuuurrrr.

I guess it's about the motives for loving straight hair, and loving it so much that you'd rather wear your hair like that, exclusively, than your natural hair.

 

[missann]

I agree with you. I don't think it's a bad thing either, especially since it often happens in reverse. Naturals relax and have an epiphany about all the wonderful things they can do with their hair and talk about how much happier they are and nobody bats an eye. Why can't it be the same when it's the other way around?

Maybe it hits a nerve.

 

[anon123]

I just want to make myself clear.

IMO, self-hate is a psychological issue that can be manifested in different ways. But, I do not believe that relaxing is indicative of self-hate. "Self-hate" is too serious of an issue to just keep throwing it out there like that.

I do believe that relaxing shows that the person does not love their natural hair, they may like it and they may have though it was fun for a while or that it was a nice style change, but they do not love it. If someone wants to extend that to they don't love themselves, fine, but that's not how I feel.

If you want to stone me for making assumptions about how other people feel about their hair, then fine. This is just my opinion, based on people's actions and the words that accompany those actions.

MSA i disagree 1000% on this. Or at least, not with everybody.

I'm going to have to disagree at least on my own experience, too. Natural hair is hard work for me. It is draining, physically even. It is time-consuming. And if I ever relax, which could happen some day, it won't be because I didn't love my natural hair. In fact, the only thing that keeps me from relaxing is my extreme preference for the look of my natural hair. If it were just a matter of maintenance, I'd relax in a heartbeat. So when people cite maintenance as a reason for relaxing, I don't discount them so easily.

 

[missann]

I still don't see how a preference for straight hair=hate...I'm in agreement with you..not everybody wants to be cool and curly..some people just want to be sleek and straight Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can't love straight huuuurrrr.

The issue is that virtually all black people prefer straight hair. There's something behind that (besides preference). And those who don't wear straight hair often must face internal and external struggles around the decision to wear their own hair the way it grows out of their head.

 

[Summer_Rain]

bwahahahahahahahaahha I was trying to not say anything about that!!!

I peeped it as I re-read thanks to v2.0 - but oh well! blow job blow out, it could all be the same thing depending on where u at in the mind!

 

[AtlantaJJ]

Here's a question I didn't ask in the last one....well actually TWO QUESTIONS.

What about transitioners and stretchers?

Do they love or hate themselves?

They have a split personality! LOL






















J/K - couldn't resist...

ETA: Dag this is a serious thread.... Let me tip out...

 

[Carrie A]

The issue is that virtually all black people prefer straight hair. There's something behind that (besides preference). And those who don't wear straight hair often must face internal and external struggles around the decision to wear their own hair the way it grows out of their head.

I often wonder why "we" went seemingly overnight from wearing "the natural" to the Jherri curl and the relaxer. Was the Afro just a style? Why didn't more people stay natural? Why did it take another decade for people to question the relaxer application.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm going to have to disagree at least on my own experience, too. Natural hair is hard work for me. It is draining, physically even. It is time-consuming. And if I ever relax, which could happen some day, it won't be because I didn't love my natural hair. In fact, the only thing that keeps me from relaxing is my extreme preference for the look of my natural hair. If it were just a matter of maintenance, I'd relax in a heartbeat. So when people cite maintenance as a reason for relaxing, I don't discount them so easily.

one of my hair idols

 

[missann]

I often wonder why "we" went seemingly overnight from wearing "the natural" to the Jherri curl and the relaxer. Was the Afro just a style? Why didn't more people stay natural? Why did it take another decade for people to question the relaxer application.

In the time period you're referencing: yes, it was just a style - a style associated with a militant stance. Hence the correlation today. The "black and proud" movement was a contrast to the "passive resistant" civil rights mechanism used by King (in effect, "good" Negroes).

 

[tocktick]

I often wonder why "we" went seemingly overnight from wearing "the natural" to the Jherri curl and the relaxer. Was the Afro just a style? Why didn't more people stay natural? Why did it take another decade for people to question the relaxer application.

I'm a member of NP. I remember a thread about the afros there and iirc, the gist of it was that a lot of people who did have afros only did it for style, as opposed to a real love of natural hair. Maybe it was just a part of a bigger cause or just fashion. When they moved away from that, they probably switched back to straight hair maybe in order to conform more or because ideals changed yet again. I say "switched back" because people used to do all kinds of kitchen sink lye relaxers and conks (Malcolm X, anyone?). As far as the jherri curl goes...I never will understand that greasy mess lol . But in a lot of ways, a jherri curl is a bad version of a texlax.

 

[v2.0]

Msa, seriously, are you saying that natchal folx can't even wear there hair in ponytails? Why must those with afro textured hair commit to only wearing 1 style for the rest of their life?

Why would you want to make yourself look beautiful? Beauty should not require any action on your part.

 

[anon123]

one of my hair idols

A hair supporter! She knows what I'm talking about, we had this convo in person. Though I admit to being quite fond of your natural hair and was a little sad when you relaxed, but we all do what we think is best for us at a given time in our lives. Your hair is growing nicely, btw.

I will admit, though, that I think the reasons most black women relax is because they know little about natural hair except that it's hard to comb and ugly. And we all know why they think it's ugly. Further, it's so much the default that people don't even consider wearing their hair kinky. Like 'bella said, people know afro and dreads, that's all I knew, too, until someone showed me the puff and twists.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

A hair supporter! She knows what I'm talking about, we had this convo in person. Though I admit to being quite fond of your natural hair and was a little sad when you relaxed, but we all do what we think is best for us at a given time in our lives. Your hair is growing nicely, btw.

I will admit, though, that I think the reasons most black women relax is because they know little about natural hair except that it's hard to comb and ugly. And we all know why they think it's ugly. Further, it's so much the default that people don't even consider wearing their hair kinky. Like 'bella said, people know afro and dreads, that's all I knew, too, until someone showed me the puff and twists.

I am in "possible" transition mode I saw the disappointment in your eyes when we had lunch that day and I mentioned that I may end up going the texlax route. For me it's not about hatred, it's about ease. When I was able to put my hair in a bun in like 1 minute after having bed head i knew it was the right thing for me at that time.

I'll likely travel the road of relaxing and natural a few more times in life and i'm ok with that. I love the thickness and nappyness of my hair but i also love the convenience of all the styling options at my fingertips with it texlaxed. *shrugs*

 

[jennboo]

The word "hatred" is being thrown around very freely.

I have never aligned myself with the notion that relaxed hair equated to self-hate. Hate is a strong word.

I think folks refuse to step outside of themselves and actually think about why the straight hair ideal persists and why so many black people view relaxing as the norm...and just "what you do". And I do understand why a topic like this evokes these really visceral reactions from people.

To those of you who believe that relaxers grew solely out of black people's desire for "manageable" hair, take a look at our history. The conk grew out of men's wanting to fit in with the white's "laid to the side, shiny, slicked back" look. I totally don't think, especially in the case of men, it had much to do with the men's need for increased manageability ...it was all about the look.

People are so knee-jerked to this whole discussion that they automatically arrive with defense, and pack on the heavy artillery...i personally think it has a lot to do with the fact that many blacks aren't so naive to the way eurocentric ideals have permeated our psyche...many do not want to have to come to terms or deal with the fact that they *might* be perpetuating this negative way of thinking about their OWN people and internalizing what has been spoon-fed to us for hundreds of years.

I think i stated this in a previous post of mine, but these excuses as to why people prefer relaxing "it's just a preference/style choice/manageablity" rhetoric is annoying, kind of like when white folks refuse to acknowledge privilege.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Love the will power -- I need some of that.

I wanted to ask you about the puff/ponytail when you were natural. What were you using to secure the puff. I ask because the puff takes me only 5 seconds, especially when styled wet. I thought that's why the puff is such a go-to style for many naturals. I just doubled a large elastic band around my neck and slid it up on my head.

Also, I wanted to ask how you receive all the compliments since relaxing your hair. I know people fawn over your straight hair, implying it's a vast improvement over a nappy head. Do you nip it in the bud or discuss the nappy issue?

I only ever dealt with my natural hair wet, and even then preferably after it had just been washed. To pull my hair in a puff I had to apply the fantasia IC gel in sections almost relaxer like pattern so that when I tied it down for the night it would stay in place. I could wear it in a puff for 3 days before the ends started to knot. If I tried to do a puff without gel, my hair would knot/loc at the roots.

Honestly, I got a ton of compliments when I first relaxed but after the newness died down I get about the same number as when natural. I also think that my fotki traffic went down when I relaxed.

And some people don't have any of these issues. It's all relative.

My issue is that the folks who don't have problems seem to be the least compassionate towards those who do.

Shame on me for putting my hair in a puff? Really?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I only ever dealt with my natural hair wet, and even then preferably after it had just been washed. To pull my hair in a puff I had to apply the fantasia IC gel in sections almost relaxer like pattern so that when I tied it down for the night it would stay in place. I could wear it in a puff for 3 days before the ends started to knot. If I tried to do a puff without gel, my hair would knot/loc at the roots.

Honestly, I got a ton of compliments when I first relaxed but after the newness died down I get about the same number as when natural. I also think that my fotki traffic went down when I relaxed.



My issue is that the folks who don't have problems seem to be the least compassionate towards those who do.

Shame on me for putting my hair in a puff? Really?

This sums it up very well for me.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I agree with you. I don't think it's a bad thing either, especially since it often happens in reverse. Naturals relax and have an epiphany about all the wonderful things they can do with their hair and talk about how much happier they are and nobody bats an eye. Why can't it be the same when it's the other way around?

The difference is that the person who returns to relaxing with an epiphany probably learned a whole lot of something from being natural.

All the person who BC'd has learned is how to use a pair of scissors.
This is the point for them where the questions start, not end.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

BC'ing is not for the faint of heart, but when you got folks cheerleading 'Do It. Do It.' and then in the BC thread they can't offer any advice other than put on some make up and earrings.

That is exactly what I was thinking about when I took my BC pics.