setting goals,what is your opinion?

[Blaque*Angel]

i've seen a few threads where ladies are angry because they did not reach their goal:

for example, they want mid back length hair by 10.20.08, they didnt get it so in their siggy they have "mid back failed"

I feel they should just remain positive, as hair is going to grow anyway. there's no need to put a deadline on it.let it do its thing, a watched pot never boils

HHG y'all

 

[MizzBrown]

I don't like putting a specific timeline on growth.

But I do know i better not still be on this board in 2013 and i haven't reached BSL yet.

 

[charmtreese]

I don't like putting a specific timeline on growth.

But I do know i better not still be on this board in 2013 and i haven't reached BSL yet.

I know thats right!

 

[LushLox]

It's a double edge sword isn't, the more down and depressed you get at your 'failure' of your goals the more stress you put on yourself, and we all know how stress has a tendency to run the hair and body down when it's ready.

The best thing we can do is to not pressurise ourselves too much.

 

[hopeful]

I don't like putting a specific timeline on growth.

But I do know i better not still be on this board in 2013 and i haven't reached BSL yet.

that's funny MizzBrown. By then I hope all of us will have reached our goals! I think it's best to be kinda broad with goals. I think being too specific can be setting yourself up for disappointment. I'm in the APL by 2008 challenge but I don't think I will make it, but that's okay, I will make it by early 2009...I hope. When I see people saying "Failed" about anything it makes me feel a little sad, I want to tell them to lighten up and give themselves a break.

 

[Neith]

I think as long as the goals are REASONABLE then it's fine. Give yourself a few extra months to actually get there.


Don't EXPECT (but you can hope!) to grow an inch a month every month like clockwork. We're human, not hair growing robots, lol


Personally, I'm just letting it grow and not really stressing it. I know that with proper care, it'll eventually get there.

 

[locabouthair]

I was thinking about this the other day. I stopped giving my hair a deadline I told myself last year that I would have APL by summer of '08 and I am still trying to get to SL. I'm just gonna let my hair do it's thing. I would hope to see a big improvement by next year but I'm not be so stuck on the date like how I was before.

 

[Gigi-07]

I think the problem lies in folks comparing their progress with others'. You can't possibly expect your hair to do the same things or grow the same rate as others, so spare yourself the disappointment, and relax. Just the fact that a black woman, any black woman for that matter, can grow long hair, period, should be enough to have you stoked, motivated, and excited to strive for that goal, no matter how long it may take.

 

[discodumpling]

Setting attainable, REALISTIC, and reasonable goals is a good thing. How hard you wanna be on your self is totally up to the individual.
My hair mantra: With health comes length; helps me to keep the focus on healthy hair.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

great replies ladies

 

[yuriko]

I personally need to set goals, thats the only way that i will be consistent with my regimen

 

[Qetesh]

i think having a goal is good because it keeps you focused but what hurts things is having unreasonable goals.

baby steps are best IMO. and if you do slip up be forgiving to yourself

 

[JustKiya]

I like having a time goal - it helps me keep on keeping on with determination and focus to have a concrete end-date in mind - and my end date isn't a 'stretch' goal, but it's one that assumes I grow - *thinks* - 4 inches of hair a year, I think it is? Which, really, isn't a lot of hair at all - so I've given myself some wiggle room.

I think a lot of people just pick a date and a length out of the air, and say - I want to be HERE, THEN - and not even look at their own head and figure out if they CAN make it. If you know how fast your hair grows, and you measure yourself to see how long you need to be, and then add 6 months to that for setbacks and trims - and that's a reasonable and realistic goal, in my mind.

 

[locabouthair]

I like having a time goal - it helps me keep on keeping on with determination and focus to have a concrete end-date in mind - and my end date isn't a 'stretch' goal, but it's one that assumes I grow - *thinks* - 4 inches of hair a year, I think it is? Which, really, isn't a lot of hair at all - so I've given myself some wiggle room.

I think a lot of people just pick a date and a length out of the air, and say - I want to be HERE, THEN - and not even look at their own head and figure out if they CAN make it. If you know how fast your hair grows, and you measure yourself to see how long you need to be, and then add 6 months to that for setbacks and trims - and that's a reasonable and realistic goal, in my mind.

Never looked at it like that. In that case my hair should grow 3 inches in 18 months

 

[flyygirlll2]

I don't set specific dates of when i will meet my goals. in general I pretty much just go with the flow and let my hair do its thing. if i get stressed about meeting some goal then i'll probably have no hair left on my head so it's pointless. but to the ladies who do set deadlines for their goals and do not meet them, i say don't pressure yourselves about it because eventually you will get there.

 

[BMoreFlyy]

I think the idea of setting the goal is great, but its the remembering that sometimes your hair doesn't do what you want it to do when you're wanting it to do it. Expect setbacks and don't think that you won't reach your goal just because you didn't reach it by that date.

 

[fogannie]

I think the idea of setting the goal is great, but its the remembering that sometimes your hair doesn't do what you want it to do when you're wanting it to do it. Expect setbacks and don't think that you won't reach your goal just because you didn't reach it by that date.

Great tip fullsizediva. I totally agree with you. I have set goals for myself which include time tables. For me, it is my way of motivating myself otherwise, I would slack off.

 

[MJ]

I'm goal oriented. I've learned the hard way that it isn't enough to have desires (goals) and set deadlines. I now know that if I want to achieve my goal my actions must match that goal. Therefore, I have to be focused, consistent, committed, and patient in all things regarding that goal. I have been testing this theory, and it's right on 100% of the time.

ETA: I've also learned that deadlines don't make goals. Achieving them do. In other words, stay the course until the goal is achieved, no matter what.

 

[Eclass215]

I like goals and deadlines because it gives me something to look forward to and focus on. I do that with just about everything, hair, weight, saving money. But what I've learned (from my job) is to go by the S.M.A.R.T. method of setting goals:

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Reasonable (or realistic)
T - Timed

I think if you keep that in mind and do your best, you should be happy when the time comes. And if you didn't quite make it, set a new goal and try to do what you can to get there next time! <----My two cents

 

[Nightingale]

I set time goals, but usually I don't make them. It doesnt anger me. I just set a new one.

 

[Mrs.Green]

I like goals and deadlines because it gives me something to look forward to and focus on. I do that with just about everything, hair, weight, saving money. But what I've learned (from my job) is to go by the S.M.A.R.T. method of setting goals:

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Reasonable (or realistic)
T - Timed

I think if you keep that in mind and do your best, you should be happy when the time comes. And if you didn't quite make it, set a new goal and try to do what you can to get there next time! <----My two cents

I'll take your two cents Eclass . I'm a goal setter and I so agree with everything you're saying. If the goal not met/didn't work reasses your strategy, what went wrong and set another goal.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I think goals are a good thing. Hell its keeping me focused.

 

[MizzBrown]

Would yall be ashamed to be on this forum 3-5+ years and not meet your goal?

What do you think that says?

 

[JustKiya]

Would yall be ashamed to be on this forum 3-5+ years and not meet your goal?

What do you think that says?

Not in the least.

It could say that you've had some setbacks.

It could say that other aspects of your life got in your way.

It could say that you've changed your goals.

It could say that you got that FLY haircut you've been eying.

It could say that you had some health issues.

It could say that your hair grows slower than you expected.

There's a lot of things being around here that long and not having reached your goals could say.

Are you still working towards them? Cuz that's really the only important part. Shoot, that's a testament to dedication in my mind - keep on keeping on, until you get what you came for, even if it takes 3, 4, 5 times longer than you thought it would.

 

[jahzyira]

I was so naive in jan to think i was going to reach full waistlength in dec without any protective styling, a laxed regimen and under/over-laxed hair! The only thing ive seem to do is maintain bsl enough for it to be full. Now that i know my setbacks im on a mission to be waistlength by my b-day in feb... The only difference is i wont be as sad as i was when i realized i had to trim almost 2 inches off a few months ago...

 

[prospurr4]

It is important for me to set personal goals, to actually write them down and review them from time to time. Goal-setting helps me to make decisions and take steps toward reaching each goal. My hair goals are no different.

 

[Highly Favored8]

I like setting goals it keeps me focus hair or life!

 

[Mrs.Green]

Would yall be ashamed to be on this forum 3-5+ years and not meet your goal?

What do you think that says?

Nope that's not gonna happen. I can't imagine 3-5 years and not meeting goals. I can't wrap my brain around that.

What it says to me is something not right be it slacking, not trying hard enough or something medically. But if you apply yourself there is absolutely NO REASON why you shouldn't see some progress in 3-5 years. No reason unless medical.

 

[vkb247]

My hair girl is associated with other personal goals that I have - to be the healthiest I've ever been, weight loss, career goals, etc. I am looking forward to my 30th Birthday and being at the ultimate of fabulosity...

But besides that I know that my hair grows pretty fast and I estimate that I get at at least .5 inches a month. I have measured my body and I know that 12 inches from my neck equals MBL on me (im short) so that is about a year of growth. My hair is currently longer then neck length and my first goal is BSL. I don't plan on having any setbacks -- I avoid hair practices that could cause problems like straightening - but I still have some cushion around my goal. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't make it, and even if I don't I won't stop or blame goal setting. I really enjoy visualizing reaching my goals. Mind over matter baby!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I need goals to keep my motivated. They give me something to look forward too, but I keep them realistic. I keep in mind that I will prolly grow 1/2 but maybe retain 1/4. With that in mind I think it will take me 4 months to get to APL because an inch is what I need. That's pretty attainable. All of this I'ma be waistlength in 2011...that's just too much with me. I can even remember where I'm supposed to go tommorrow let along 2011.

I think the goal is to have fun with it, and don't watch your hair too much. The goals are jsut for guidance.