Why all the secretivenesss..........

[ChocalateDiva]

This is kinda a spin off from another thread about a setback.......

We all feel bad for ppl that have hair setbacks after so much hard work and dedication.

I am wondering why some ppl dont want to tell exactly how the setback occurred....we are here to lend support and also to learn from other ppl's mistakes. How can we avoid the mistakes if we dont know what the mistake was???

Maybe I'm just sadistic, but, when I am told only bits and piece of a story- my mind starts to wonder...............um did ol boy beat dat arse and pull da hair out??

IDK, just kind weird to me.

What do you all think??

 

[KPH]

i wondered myself why it was a secret but I didn't get into a physical removal thought

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

I just think that maybe they are embarrassed by whatever happened...maybe they did something that we all know is not something you're supposed to do to your hair and they just feel embarrassed to admit it.

I think you could still lend great support without knowing exactly what happened. Though I do agree it's helpful to others for learning purposes.

 

[loulou82]

^^^ IA. I was puzzled as to what happened but she said it wasn't styling or technique related. If she wanted advice as to how to fix the problem then it would be beneficial to know what actually caused the set back. But she didn't ask for that. I guess she just wanted to vent.

 

[lovenharmony]

I guess with anything that could increase the potential to be reprimanded, they are ashamed and/or embarrassed to admit what they did or they allowed someone else to do and they don't want to hear people blame them for being so silly or ignorant - especially if they are in a depressed state about it already.

As for myself, I've done and allowed people to do almost everything to my hair, but now I could look back and laugh because I am armed with knowledge about how to truly care for my hair. Nobody's perfect...everyone in life must live and learn. Shoot, I remember I once tried to wash my hair with bleach thinking it was a cheaper way of relaxing my hair!!! LOL Now that was stupid (and dangerous )!!

Maybe those who are so secretive should check out the couple of threads about the silly and crazy things some ladies have done or allowed others to do to their hair...believe me, you're not alone!

 

[bermudabeauty]

I just read that thread and thought the same thing. I guess she just wanted to blow off some steam not necessarily get advice on what to or not to do. I don't post threads unless I want some feedback cuz I need to know what I am doing wrong and what I need to do to avoid jacking up my hair. But hey that is just me.

 

[Evazhair]

I understand being embarassed. Even those who know what they are doing now, probably didn't at one time so we can all relate. It is hard to offer good advice when people are vague like that. Someone likely has gone through the same thing, so they should just fully disclose. I generally haven't posted in those kinds of threads because I am not psychic and I would rather say nothing than tell someone to do the wrong thing.

ETA I see now. I can respect & understand not wanting to discuss it because it's probably better not to dwell on it for now when you feel like

 

[discodumpling]

OP you have what in yogic terms is called Monkey Mind Until I learned to control my mind I too would come up with fantastic theories if I wasn't told the truth the whole truth & nothing but the truth. I mean there has to be some reason why XYZ?

I think the poster in the other thread told us what she wanted to tell us. I was most impressed by the ladies that supported her anyway I kinda need to know what i'm supporting before I do so.

 

[santwon]

This is kinda a spin off from another thread about a setback.......

We all feel bad for ppl that have hair setbacks after so much hard work and dedication.

I am wondering why some ppl dont want to tell exactly how the setback occurred....we are here to lend support and also to learn from other ppl's mistakes. How can we avoid the mistakes if we dont know what the mistake was???

Maybe I'm just sadistic, but, when I am told only bits and piece of a story- my mind starts to wonder...............um did ol boy beat dat arse and pull da hair out??

IDK, just kind weird to me.

What do you all think??

What do I think? That was the funniest thing I've read all week!

But on the real, sometimes you're just TOO embarrassed to admit it I guess.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

OP you have what in yogic terms is called Monkey Mind Until I learned to control my mind I too would come up with fantastic theories if I wasn't told the truth the whole truth & nothing but the truth. I mean there has to be some reason why XYZ?

I think the poster in the other thread told us what she wanted to tell us. I was most impressed by the ladies that supported her anyway I kinda need to know what i'm supporting before I do so.

Monkey Mind???!!..........it is what it is!! As you stated, I like to know what I'm supporting.....

I'm just sayin................

 

[Aveena]

I had to go look that up! Monkey Mind...

But yeah I saw that thread too and thought it was weird. I thought the same thing OP did except it involved wild sex!

 

[dcprdiva]

I personally don't want to hear your vent unless you tell what happened to make you upset. This board is to help lend support to everyone. That last thread left like ----anyway.....

 

[Sui Topi]

is this that old thread where the girl slipped and he was still holding on to her hair or is it another sex thread

 

[Simply_Kelz]

is this that old thread where the girl slipped and he was still holding on to her hair or is it another sex thread

No .. it was another one ..

 

[~*Tigget*~]

Why is this bothering me...I want to know what HAPPENED

Okay I guess I will have to let it go.

 

[Sui Topi]

I see it now lol .....I guess LHCF really does not play in the bedroom lol

 

[Fine 4s]

OP, you're bringing up a good point and I could understand the curiosity.
At the same time, I think that people have a right to privacy.

How do we establish a balance between sharing recipes, dos and don'ts to empower the rest while maintaining privacy?

Hmmm....

 

[Neith]

I CAN understand being embarrassed of whatever you did to cause your setback.

Maybe something very dumb was done. Maybe she got her hair tangled in a comb or brush or something. There is no use in guessing.


I CANNOT understand why it would be of such high importance to strangers.

Not that I don't care about people here, but really... why does it really matter to you knowing one way or the other? This isn't your mama or your sister or your best friend. I wouldn't pry, I'd just accept the fact that they don't want to share. I'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night wondering what they did to their hair

Just trying to say that I care and I do have empathy, however it's not that serious. If a woman I have never met or even talked to before wants to keep a secret, that's her choice.

For a friend or someone I'm close to, that's when it has the ability to irk me.

One thing I do have to say, we have some VERY caring, sweet individuals here.

...and yall are nosy too
​

 

[audacity.]

y'all are just being nosy...

 

[girlcherokee]

i dont see anything weird about her not telling what happened, she said what she felt comfortable with saying - and those of us who wanted to support her did. now, you guy... remember what they say about curiosity and the cat?

 

[plzgrow]

i was thinking the same thing

 

[DeepBluSea]

What do I think? That was the funniest thing I've read all week!

But on the real, sometimes you're just TOO embarrassed to admit it I guess.

ITA. That poor girl who let the lady neutralize her hair with listerine will never live that down. People had jokes in their siggys and everything. So, I would guess the poster doesn't want to get ragged on for their mistake.

 

[Neith]

ITA. That poor girl who let the lady neutralize her hair with listerine will never live that down. People had jokes in their siggys and everything. So, I would guess the poster doesn't want to get ragged on for their mistake.

What?!?

That's kinda mean to ridicule the poor woman though

*runs to do a search on listerine*
​

 

[Cichelle]

She told what she wanted to tell.

I don't see any problem with that.

 

[BeautifulRoots]

She told what she wanted to tell.

I don't see any problem with that.

ITA with this, she wanted to keep her privacy which is understandable...

 

[ChocalateDiva]

I feel all of you!! Everyone has a right to privacy and a right to their own opinion.

I,ME- da ChocalateDiva- dont like half baked stories.

The OP of the other thread has a right to keep it to herself and I have a right to wonder what really went down.

She can keep the secret and I can keep wondering and keep it movin.

I will not be losing any sleep thinking about it.

 

[~*Tigget*~]

I feel all of you!! Everyone has a right to privacy and a right to their own opinion.

I,ME- da ChocalateDiva- dont like half baked stories.

The OP of the other thread has a right to keep it to herself and I have a right to wonder what really went down.

She can keep the secret and I can keep wondering and keep it movin.

I will not be losing any sleep thinking about it.

I agree the OP has a right to her own privacy. But have I missed something? Posting on a public forum that is for discussion and reviews, etc is not private. As for inquiring about what happened, I feel the OP left this door open for anyone to inquire. As some would want to help her if they can relate. She said she was depressed about it, so to me thats needs to be addressed. Her outreach was to come on and get support. Which I think a lot of ladies did that, but w/ out knowing what caused this trauma, its hard to offer information. Can't go to a hospital w/ your head busted wide open and not tell them what caused it, if you are looking for full recovery.......just my opinion. However I won't be losing sleep over this, I don't think anyone will.

 

[Paradox]

She will probably tell us later, maybe she is just overwhelmed right now/

 

[Duff]

I understand being embarassed. Even those who know what they are doing now, probably didn't at one time so we can all relate. It is hard to offer good advice when people are vague like that. Someone likely has gone through the same thing, so they should just fully disclose. I generally haven't posted in those kinds of threads because I am not psychic and I would rather say nothing than tell someone to do the wrong thing.

ETA I see now. I can respect & understand not wanting to discuss it because it's probably better not to dwell on it for now when you feel like

I agree with everything said...

 

[charmtreese]

I CAN understand being embarrassed of whatever you did to cause your setback.

Maybe something very dumb was done. Maybe she got her hair tangled in a comb or brush or something. There is no use in guessing.


I CANNOT understand why it would be of such high importance to strangers.

Not that I don't care about people here, but really... why does it really matter to you knowing one way or the other? This isn't your mama or your sister or your best friend. I wouldn't pry, I'd just accept the fact that they don't want to share. I'm not going to wake up in the middle of the night wondering what they did to their hair

Just trying to say that I care and I do have empathy, however it's not that serious. If a woman I have never met or even talked to before wants to keep a secret, that's her choice.

For a friend or someone I'm close to, that's when it has the ability to irk me.

One thing I do have to say, we have some VERY caring, sweet individuals here.

...and yall are nosy too
​

I agree with you!

She told us what she wanted to tell us and we can still be supportive and caring about the fact that she had a setback! This is a hair board, not a get all in your business board. She told us what was necessary, what is unnecessary is starting a thread about why she did not want to tell us the cause of her setback!!

For just as many sweet caring ladies we have here, we have those that would rather poke fun and make jokes! She may feel that during this time she only needs supportive comments and not smart a$$ comments about why she did what she did!!!!